I lightly unhooked the note, and opened it up.

"Bella", it read;

He would kill me for giving this to you.

But I don't care. Bella, I'm truly sorry.

If you can forgive me and feel like talking…

Below was an address in Alaska. It was signed, "Alice". I stood trembling, not knowing if this was really happening.

I folded up the paper and placed it on my messy desk, then opened up a drawer and pulled out an envelope.

I addressed it 'Alice Cullen' and, with my pathetic letter inside, sealed the envelope. I made sure the address on the envelope was the same as the one given on the note (again). After all, the on the note was my last connection to them; to him.

I left the envelope on the desk, along with the other mail I needed to send; my cell phone bill- which I insisted I pay myself- a letter to Renee (my mother) as my computer finally rolled over and died last week. And the computer personnel guy wasn't supposed to be here until Friday or so, and today was Monday…

It was getting later. I took a shower, combed my hair, brushed my teeth and climber into bed. And, for once, I didn't dream. It was just a deep, sound sleep.

I woke up early the next day and got all ready for work. Charlie was already gone, off to work early, I presumed. I hopped into my old Red Chevy and, with a roar, it started to life. I loved this old truck. I drove to my job at Newton's- it was only part-time, yet it filled my days well.

I should've been in college, no doubt, but I just couldn't leave Forks- always hoping (if subconsciously) they'd return. I couldn't deny why I stayed. And now I was more positive I had to than ever.

"Hey, Bella." Mike greeted me on my way in.

"Hi, Mike." I replied.

My shift passed slowly. But, finally, it was time to head home.

"Hey, Mike, I'm heading out for today. See you tomorrow?" I asked, already knowing he would be here. I wondered vaguely if I should ask him for Jessica's number, to see what she thought of this whole mailing the Cullens business, but deciding against it.

"Oh. Yeah, g'bye Bella!" he called to me cheerfully as I walked out the door.

I walked slowly out to my truck, thinking. Now that I was thinking about them-with the hole in my chest throbbing slightly- I was unsure once more about actually sending the letter…

First off, I had sounded so whiny, stupid and needy in that letter; like I couldn't form coherent thoughts without them, which, at times, I couldn't. Second, I didn't want Edward to get mad with Alice- and although I knew Alice could obviously hold her own- I still felt bad causing more problems in her family. Not to mention the fact that I didn't know if I was ready to talk to the Cullens, reopen all the old wounds…

I had decided not to send the letter, at least not just yet, and climbed into the truck. I pulled onto my driveway just a little bit later and got out. I looked at the sky, it looked about to rain- oh, why was I constantly surprised?

I took off my coat once in the doorway, laying it on the coat rack- and ran up into my bedroom. I lay down on the bed staring blankly at the ceiling. Unbidden, memories of Edward and me –together- came back. I wiped the back of my hand over my eyes, I had to stop Charlie would be home soon… Charlie. With that I got up and went down to make dinner.

"Bella?" he called, hanging up his gun.

"Hey Dad! In the kitchen!" I replied, pausing in my chopping of some tomatoes for a salad. Although I probably could talk and cut tomatoes at the same time- why chance it? I laughed at myself and missed most of what Charlie had said,

"…game I want to watch- call me when dinner's ready, Bells." And with that, he was gone.

A memory flashed again and I instantly dropped the knife I was holding…

"Wait!" I choked on the word, reaching for him.

"Take care of yourself." He breathed, cool against my skin.

There was a light, unnatural breeze. My eyes flashed open. The leaves on a small vine maple shuddered with the gentle wind of his passage.

He was gone.

The knife clattered to the floor, narrowly missing my foot, and I blinked, still dazed. I reached down for it with one hand, the other holding my chest together… Edward.

I was so not ready for this. I couldn't talk to them, not yet, definitely. I had to go tear up that letter before Charlie takes our mail Tuesday…

Tuesday. Dang! Today was Tuesday! But had he checked my desk for the mail? Normally I left it on the kitchen table for him to take. But maybe he wouldn't have delivered a letter to the Cullens anyway. After all, he had been there the first few months after they left… Surely he wouldn't have mailed a letter to Edward? Oh, wait. Hat letter was addressed to Alice. And Charlie always had liked Alice. Uh-oh.

I ran upstairs, unmindful of whatever it was cooking in the oven downstairs. I jumped unto my bed, scrambling over it to my desk on the other side. It was still messy, but lacking the 3 pieces of unsent mail.

Now, normally, I would've been happy for Charlie willing to help me out, but not this time.

I sat on my bed, hyperventilating until the timer on the oven went off. Startled, I flew off the bed looking around my room warily. The oven continued to beep.

"Bella?" Charlie called, concerned, from the living room.

"Don't worry, I got it, Dad, I was just upstairs for a sec." I reassured him, running down the steps and turning off the timer.

I removed dinner and set out 2 plates- mine and his.

"Dad," I called, "dinner." With a grunt, the TV was turned off and Charlie shuffled into the kitchen.

"Smells good, Bells." Charlie assured me, grinning.

"Hey, Dad?" I paused.

"Yeah?" he looked up from his dinner across at me.

"Did you… um…" I looked down at my plate, "did you mail a bill and some letters for me today?"

"Yes. Was I not supposed to? 'Cause I mean, they were all addressed and stuff…" he trailed off, blushing.

Now it was my turn to feel embarrassed. Here Charlie was looking out for me and I was picking at him for it.

"No. Thank you for helping me out… I just wanted to make sure they didn't just disappear…" I finished lamely.

I was sure if he mailed them, he'd ask me something. And Alice would be getting the letter in about a week…

"Bella?" I looked up, jolted out of my thoughts.

"Yes?" I could guess what he was going to say.

He raised one eyebrow and looked at me quizzically,

"Alice Cullen?"