Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine…

Kathy awoke to the dark room with a feeling that her bed shouldn't have been empty. She blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to wake up and understand why she felt this way. Her bed had been empty for almost a year, why wouldn't it be now?

When she heard the rocking chair in the corner, she remembered. She looked to find Olivia rocking Eli. She was speaking so softly to him Kathy could barely even hear the whisper much less the words. And Eli was looking up at her, content to simply lay in her arms and rock while she spoke.

Kathy smiled to herself. Olivia and Eli had had a special bond from the very beginning. It even seemed to be stronger than the bond Olivia and Elliot had. Whereas Elliot or Kathy could walk or rock or sing for untold amounts of time to quiet Eli, Olivia simply had to pick him up for him to stop crying.

After watching Olivia and Eli for a little longer, Kathy averted her eyes to the ceiling. How had they come to this? Not even five years ago she had been unbelievably jealous of the detective, of her beauty and strength and the hold she seemed to have over her husband. Only four years ago, she had gone to Olivia practically begging her to speak to Elliot about having him sign the divorce papers. Three years ago, her life and that of her child's had literally been in the palm of Olivia's hand, and of course Olivia had kept them safe. Two years ago, it had seemed that Olivia fought for her and Elliot's marriage more than either of them did. And almost a year ago, Olivia had become a main fixture in her life: standing by her side throughout the funeral, taking care of her, her children, bills, groceries, whatever needed doing Olivia had done.

And even after Kathy had pulled herself together, Olivia had kept coming back, giving her and her children all the love and attention she could. And now after having been acquaintances for twelve years and actual friends for less than one, they had slept together.

Kathy held back a laugh that she was sure would have sounded somewhat hysterical. After all the times she had accused Elliot of it, she was the one to sleep with Olivia Benson. And hadn't that spark of attraction been the greatest of surprises? She had never been attracted to a woman before. Of course she had found them beautiful, but she had never felt the heat of attraction pooling low in her stomach before last Thursday.

It was like any other Thursday night in the Stabler household. Olivia had demanded long ago that they have a family night. Maureen and Kathleen were able to come home from college since they had no Friday morning classes and Richard and Elizabeth didn't have any school activities on Thursday so it had been the logical day without having to interfere with any of the kids weekend plans. After it had been established, Olivia had tried to beg off saying it should be a family affair, but the children had insisted she be there, and even Kathy found herself wanting Olivia there as well. Everything seemed just a little bit easier with Olivia around; it didn't seem like their entire world was still crashing around them with her there.

Maureen had been in the kitchen finishing dinner, Kathleen was setting the table, Elizabeth was lying in the floor doing homework, and Richard was sitting in a chair in the corner of the living room doing a reading assignment. Kathy had heard Olivia enter the house and had walked out to greet her. As she stood in the doorway to the living room, she noticed Olivia crouched down talking to Elizabeth about her homework. Richard put his book down and began to walk up behind Olivia with the over exaggerated steps of someone trying to be extremely quiet. This had become a game between the two; Richard would try his hardest to sneak up behind and scare Olivia. Just as Richard reached her and was about to bend down and grab her, Olivia blindly reached out behind her and grabbed his leg.

It was he who let out a yelp of surprise and caused all three females to laugh. "How do you always do that?" he had grumbled.

Olivia had turned towards him with a bright smile on her face. As she turned, she noticed Kathy and gave her a brief wink. Kathy took a sharp intake of breath. Of course she had seen Olivia smile before, but she had never noticed the way it transformed her entire face. How it seemed to project her happiness to the entire room and lit up her whole face, seemed to lighten her entire demeanor. Kathy had felt a quick tug in her gut and heat between her thighs, but had ignored it.

Kathy had felt her attraction towards Olivia growing throughout the week. As she watched Olivia playing with her children or helping with homework or personal issues. As she catered to Eli and spoiled him to no end. But each time she had pushed it aside. Until last night.

Olivia had been late last night, the first time in the many months they had been having family night. Kathy had tried not to be annoyed as she had been with Elliot, but she couldn't help herself. After dinner, with she and Olivia quietly talking in the kitchen and doing dishes, she had asked Olivia why she was late. Of course Olivia had said a case.

"It's always a case with you people isn't it?" Kathy had asked bitterly.

"Yes, it is," Olivia had answered calmly, knowing that most of Elliot's and Kathy's problems had been about his work ethic.

"Can't you put our family first for once in your life?" Kathy had asked. She then released a strangled sob, realizing that this was the same argument she had with Elliot repeatedly, and wondering why she was doing the same thing with Olivia. It wasn't as if she and Olivia were anything. Olivia was just trying to help her cope with the loss of Elliot and help with the five children she now had to raise on her own. Kathy had no right to accuse Olivia of anything.

"Kathy," Olivia said softly, lightly placing her hands on Kathy's arms and turning her away from the sink to face her. "I know your and Elliot's major issue was his working late and the fact that he wouldn't talk to you about it. I can't promise you that I won't be late again or won't even make it some nights, but I am willing to talk to you if you want. I can't promise to be completely honest; I'm going to try and shield you from as much as possible which is what Elliot thought he was doing by not talking to you, but I will talk to you."

They had been looking in each other's eyes the entire time Olivia was talking. When she finished, Kathy couldn't fight back the urge to kiss her. How was it that Olivia understood what she needed when after almost twenty-five years Elliot hadn't?

Olivia had softened the kiss Kathy was trying to make somewhat frantic. She had placed one hand gently on the small of Kathy's back and had brought the other up to cup Kathy's face. When they had slowly parted, Olivia had softly used her thumb to brush away her tears.

Kathy closed her eyes and sighed softly to herself. She still didn't know if Olivia had simply been a substitute for her. What she did know was Olivia was a necessity, something she needed and wanted in her life. She slowly drifted off to sleep to the sound of the rocking chair creaking and Olivia softly whispering wondering what this would mean for them come morning.