Haley's shift at the café started about an hour ago but Karen had allowed her to come a little late so Haley could see Lucas. After unpacking his things with Haley, Lucas decided to go with her at the café. They talked about his brief stay at Charleston as Lucas drove. They decided to take a car since Lucas was not too keen on bumping into someone in the streets. Actually, he was only trying to avoid two girls that he was not ready to face.
"…so after mom called, Keith and I decided that going back to Tree Hill was best." Lucas finished. "So… what happened here after I left?"
"Oh, not much. Nathan and I are still together, of course. The Goldberg family left for New York and their house is up for sale. Hopefully someone more interesting would buy the house, the Goldbergs were so boring," Haley said with a chuckle. They were silent for a while, then Haley added with a tinge of sadness and concern in her voice, "Jake still hasn't returned…". Lucas knew the feeling. Jake was a good ball player and a good friend. And just like anyone else, Lucas missed him. He also felt guilty about what happened between him and Nikki.
They continued to drive to the café, in silence this time.
"So what made you do it?" Haley suddenly asked.
"Do what?"
"Leave."
"I… I don't know..."
Haley eyed him warily.
Lucas sighed, knowing that he had to let everything out. "I was… was afraid. I didn't know what to do. I made some bad decisions and I didn't know how I was gonna face them. It all just became too… complicated." He sighed. "I guess what I wanted was to go back to how things were, but that was impossible. So I opted to leave for a fresh start."
"Leaving for a fresh start without a clean slate," Haley commented.
Lucas sighed and concentrated on his driving.
Haley looked at his best friend and noticed that he had been sighing a lot since she has seen him again this morning. And she can see in his eyes that he was lonely and confused. "What are you gonna do about it, with Peyton and Brooke?"
"I don't know… I guess I'll know when I see them. I didn't even say goodbye when I left. I left them a letter… a letter!" he scoffed and looked at Haley realizing how much in trouble he was in. "How stupid can I get," he whispered. "I was a coward."
"No you're not," Haley said and Lucas looked at him cynically. "Okay that was a little bit cowardly, but you didn't know what to do."
Lucas sighed again and softly banged the steering wheel, trying to, though not so violently, vent out his frustration. "It's just that… I was finally seeing the girl that I wanted for so long but I had to break up with her best friend. But Peyton," he scoffed again, "she said she can't betray Brooke, so she ended our relationship, even before it really started," he laughed sarcastically and Haley could hear the hurt in his laugh, "Brooke of course, found out what happened after that. She was so angry at us Hales." Lucas paused for a while, as if pondering what happened.
"Peyton…She and I, we decided to just stay as friends. And all those times with her, forcing myself to act as if I only saw her as a friend, forcing myself to think that things were better that way, it was torture. She was so near… yet I couldn't reach her… I just… I didn't know what to do; the pain and the infuriating feeling were too much; I had to run. And the guilt I felt, it was eating me alive. I ruined their friendship."
Lucas paused for Haley to say anything but she was waiting for him to finish.
"I thought that by leaving Tree Hill, things would be better, that I would be able to forget everything that I was feeling. I tried to push away what I was feeling for her. But I had to come back; for you and Nate, for mom and Keith, and I guess for Dan. And I missed Tree Hill so much."
"Did it go away, the feelings?" Haley asked silently.
"I don't know… Maybe… I don't know…"
They continued to drive in silence. When they neared the café, Lucas suddenly spoke up.
"Thanks Hales."
"For what?"
"For everything. For being always there. For listening. It felt good you know. Being able to talk about it. Being able to tell someone about all of those things, finally saying it out loud, not keeping it inside." He smiled at her.
"You're welcome." and she returned the smile. "Now tell me what made you do it."
"I already told you." Lucas said, exasperated.
"Not that bald-o. What got into your mind that made you shave your hair?" Haley couldn't help but laugh. "I can totally see your scalp."
"Hey, I'm not that bald. I still have hair, see?" Lucas replied as he pointed at his head chuckling.