Chapter Two: Baby, Just Say Yes
He was gone. I was all alone. It didn't matter that I could still visit with his parents and the neighbors, or that I was able to do whatever I liked to fill my free time. It didn't even matter that most of the young girls I was friends with were going through the same thing. The only thing that mattered was Nicholas wasn't here, and that there was the possibility that he would never come back. I tried to put that out of my mind, but it kept coming back. I spent most of my time reading at our bench under our tree, at the spot where I had become the future Mrs. Nicholas Brooks. The spot made me feel closer to Nicholas, while the reading helped keep my mind off of reality.
The worst part about being a woman was the fact that the men seemed to think that we couldn't handle the truth of war. Mr. Brooks avoided the topic of war when I saw him at meals, and whenever we dined with friends the topics stayed light and happy. Arthur was very helpful though. He would often visit with me at my bench, or I'd go visit him in the library. We quickly formed a friendship this way. He would always tell me everything he knew about the war, even the bad news, and would suggest books for me to read. I would give him my opinions and insights, and he listened even though woman weren't supposed to think about anything other than the cooking, cleaning, and entertaining. And we would always read our letters from Nicholas together, and talk about how we thought he was doing. I missed him dearly, but luckily after four months he would be able to come home for about a week. Even though it was such a short period of time, I was determinded to spend every second of it with him.
We had told Nicholas' parents about our engagement, and Mrs. Brooks, Nicholas, and I decided that while he was away we would plan the wedding, so that when he came home for the first time we could be married. The wedding plans combined with Arthur's friendship and visiting with neighbors help the four months pass by quickly, but not quickly enough. Fate had played out everything perfectly. Mr. Morris passed away a few weeks before Nicholas was scheduled to come home. Since most of the wedding plans were already in place by that time, I went over and added personal touches to the house. Pieces of furniture I didn't want were banished to the attic, but for the most part I kept the furniture the same. The only room I changed was our bedroom. Mrs. Brooks let me bring the furniture from Nicholas's room and one of the guest rooms I always admired, and in return I let her take the furniture that I wasn't going to use. By the time I was done, it was our own personalized space to escape from everything, and I hoped he would love it.
Everything was set for the wedding. Nicholas had come home the day before and we had gotten to spend the afternoon together at our new house. Nicholas loved everything, and kept telling me that I had made the place feel like home. His favorite room was our bedroom. "Because you decorated it yourself and it has your touch in it," he said. But now I was standing in my room at the Brooks house for the last time. I was in my wedding dress in front of a full length mirror. In order to let my future mother-in-law happy, I had let her style the dress. It was white, with a very full skirt that rustled when I moved. The neck line was wide, but modest, and lined with pearl beads. Pearl buttons went up the back, and the sleeves were tight until a little below the elbow, where they became loose and lacy. Apart from the lace, everything was made of silk. My hair was done up, and the veil that my mother had worn was put in place. It was beautiful, but I was so excited to see Nicholas that I barely took any of it in. Time passed slowly, but I was so caught up in my excitement I couldn't tell you what happened between the time I woke up and the time I walked down the aisle.
Nicholas couldn't keep his eyes off me as I walked down the aisle, but he looked so nervous. The people in the audience consisted of my brother, Nicholas's family, and our neighbors. The wedding was outside in the beautiful gardens of the Brooks Plantation. I had set it up so that we would be saying "I do" right in front of our bench. After my brother had given me away, and the preacher had said his stuff, it was time to say "I do". "Nicholas Michael Brooks, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, as long as you both shall live?" He hesitated. We all looked at him expectantly, especially me. Did all those months of worrying mean nothing? He cleared his throat and, after what felt like several life-times, said "I do". The preacher said the same for me, and I quickly replied, "I do". I couldn't believe it. He was finally mine, no matter what happened, he always would be.
After the ceremony, everyone went up to the porch where dinner was served. After dinner there was dancing, and as the sun set Nicholas and I cut the cake. All in all, it was a simple wedding, but it was a day I wanted to remember for the rest of my life. Once the cake had been cut, Nicholas and I were both shooed upstairs. I was quickly changed into a much simpler dress for my ride to my new home, and I knew that in his old room, Nicholas was changing also. My wedding dress was packed into a trunk and taken downstairs to be put into the carriage with the rest of our clothing. I took one last look around my room, even though it was likely that I would return here in Nicholas's next absence if I got lonely. Finally, I made my way downstairs to say goodbye to my guests and suddenly, Nicholas and I were in the carriage on our way to our new home and our life together.
The wedding night was even more wonderful than the wedding. I woke up the next morning next to Nicholas, and wished that we could just stay that way forever, that there was no war, that he would never have to leave me. We only had one more week together before Nicholas had to leave. We ignored all our responsibilities and just had fun, our own version of a honeymoon. But all good things come to an end, and Nicholas left one rainy morning, leaving me even more lonely and lovesick than the first time. The only consoling thought was now I was his wife, and nothing could change that, not even death.