Flashback continued.
Peach Creek High was located not that far from the junior high, thus making it an easy walk for everyone in the cul-de-sac. Walking into the school, the Ed's found the rest of their peers in the cafeteria, eating a quick breakfast or talking. After the incident with the unnamed scam that culminated with the gruesome encounter with Eddy's jerk of a brother, the Ed's had finally been socially accepted by their peers. Eddy had finally stopped scamming, and as a result everyone got along reasonable well with each other, most days. Still, to suggest that everyone was best friends would be a bit of a stretch. Teenagers flirt, fight, love, and hate each other from one instance to the next: The residents of the cul-de-sac were no different.
Jonny "2 x 4" had changed the least, both in terms of appearance and personality. He still had worn his usual white t-shirt, jeans, and sandals. He kept his hair short with a crew cut style haircut. Overall, Jonny was pretty friendly toward everyone, although he wasn't the biggest fan of Eddy's. Part of this stemmed from the fact that, after the "incident" with Eddy's brother, all the other kids had ganged up on him when he tried to punish the Ed's for their horrible scam. It had taken a full year before Edd was able to negotiate a peace with Jonny, or rather his alter-ego "The Gourd".
The one thing that had changed was that Jonny no longer carried Plank around. He had outgrown his imaginary friend years ago, although Plank still sat in his room, much like a favorite childhood toy that is now used for decoration.
Nazz had grown her hair out a bit, and was slightly taller too. Like always, she was always the most fashionably dressed, keeping up with pop culture trends. She was still friendly, level headed (most times), and had a good relationship with Ed, Double D, Rolf, and Eddy. She was a bit protective of her cheerleading (once yelling at Eddy when he snickered "That's not a sport"), but was still considered to be the most mature of the cul-de-sac residents.
That said, Nazz and Kevin had a strange relationship that could only be described as "complicated". In freshmen year, they went out on a few dates, but never made it official. That said, they hung out a lot, and got noticeable jealous when the other flirted/was flirted with by members of the opposite sex.
Deep down, Nazz wished Kevin would just ask her out. For his part, Kevin wanted to himself, yet was too nervous to do so. Another part of him also felt that being steady with one girl would hurt his "cool guy" image.
Kevin was the first to notice the Ed's, and gave them a wry smile. Over the years, he had grown to be quite muscular, a true athlete in every sense of the word. Yet his height really hadn't taken off like the others, making him roughly the same size as Eddy.
"Well if it isn't dumb, dumber, and dumbest. How's it hanging dorks?" Unlike when they were kids, Kevin used the term in a friendly fashion, a sort of pet name as it were. Eddy gave him a high-five, and responded in kind. "Hey their Shovel Head, how's it hanging?"
Although they were on good terms, Eddy and Kevin still had a friendly rivalry (that often turned less than friendly). Part of this stemmed from their egos, which literally knew no bounds. They often worked to outdo each other in an attempt hog the spotlight.
While both of them were on the football and lacrosse team, Eddy wasn't nearly as talented as Kevin (nor did he put in a fraction of the effort). Furthermore, though Kevin wasn't exactly a model student, he sucked up to his teachers enough to get, if not good grades, then a considerable amount of leeway. Eddy, on the other hand, was widely regarded as public enemy number 1 to most of the faculty. This was due to the fact that Eddy had bestowed upon himself the title of Pranker Prince, and made it his mission in life to be voted "class clown" every year. His antics usually got him into detention.
It was then that Rolf walked over, eyes downcast and sad. He was extremely tall now, though still an inch shorter then Ed. Years of working on his parent's backyard farm had made him well built and strong, though again not as strong as Ed His English had improved somewhat, yet he still had a habit of using peculiar words and referring to himself in third person.
"Good day Ed boys. Today we return once again to the institution of torment, where we shall be crushed once again" he said sadly. Rolf's aversion to school was well known, yet Edd couldn't phantom it.
"Rolf, surely you can't really think that? After all, school is a place of-"
"Hiya booooooooys!"
The ensemble of the three voices stopped Double D in his tracks. Wiping around, he saw three all too familiar figures advancing. His heart started pounding in terror. Only one word could describe the feeling of dread that was growing in his chest.
Kankers.
Ed and Eddy had seen them too, and were experiencing similar reactions. Ed's was the most extreme: with wide eyes, he shouted "KANKERS!" and dove behind Kevin for protection, shaking uncontrollably. Although much less dramatic, Eddy's brow began to glisten slightly as he saw his mortal foes approach. With a mixture of irritability and concern, he growled a single word.
"Crap."
Over the years, the relationship between the Eds and the Kankers had also changed. Somewhat. After middle school, May, Marie and Lee had abandoned the use of kisses as their weapon of choice (except for May, but she hardly could catch Ed these days). Instead, they used pranks, intimidation, and fear to strike their victims. It was common knowledge in the school that one did not mess with the Kankers. No one was safe from their wrath.
As always however, their number one targets were the Eds.
As it was, Double D was probably the best off in regards to the Kankers. Marie's antics, such as the water balloons, were juvenile to say the least, but she didn't seem to possess the obsessive qualities of May or the vindictive traits of Lee. On most days, she was content just to flirt with Edd, her way of getting kicks out of his discomfort.
Grudgingly, Edd also had to admit that of the three of them, Marie was the most attractive, or so he thought. Not that one ever said such things aloud.
Sadly, Eddy was probably the worst off of the three. Honestly, Edd wasn't sure if Lee still liked him or not. She did have an active dating life after all, even if none of her "relationships" lasted more than a week. Yet for some reason she seemed to still have a found spot for Eddy, which of course was a constant nightmare for him.
Starring down at the smallest Ed, Lee came over and started to pat him on the head. "Aaaaw, no flowers shorty? What kind of man forgets to buy a gift for his girlfriend?" Both Marie and May snickered in agreement.
Eddy pushed her hand away, genuinely mad now. Pointing a finger up at her, he snapped, "I AM NOT SHORT!"
Lee giggled wickedly, a devilish smile spreading across her lips. Just then, the warning bell rang, singling the start of the day. Turning away, the three sisters cackled as they headed toward class.
"See you later, boys" Lee declared.
"It's a date!" May kissed to Ed.
"See ya soon, Dreamboat" Marie winked at Edd.
As he watched them walk away, Double D couldn't help but feel even more worried. "Well", he said meekly, "Glad to see things are back to normal".
As he had made his way to his first period class, Edd had tried to convince himself that everything would be alright. Science was after all one of his favorite subjects, and he wouldn't have to worry about any Kankers bothering him there. Yet when he walked into the room and found a blue haired girl already seated, he felt a giant stone in his chest.
Things got worse when the teacher announced the lab partner pairings. For the entire school year, Double D was going to be stuck with Marie Kanker.
As he nervously made his way toward Marie (who of course was seated all the way in the back of the classroom) he saw that her trademark grin of mischief was plastered to her face. As Edd sat next to her, she coyly whispered to him, "This is going to be fun year, don't ya think Oven Mitt?"
Edd had a nervous gulp, which made Marie snicker. "You're sooo cute when you're nervous Dreamboat".
Edd resisted the urge to softly bang his head against the table.
The class itself turned out to be highly uneventful, with the teacher just droning on about the syllabus. Yet Edd couldn't stop sweating as he sent quick glances at Marie, hoping beyond hope that she wasn't going to try anything. Whenever she caught his glance, Marie would send Double D a smirk, but otherwise she just doodled on the table, completely ignoring the teacher. When the bell finally ended, Edd couldn't leave fast enough.
Yet as he jumped up, he felt a hand on his shoulder which gently pulled him back down to his seat. "M-Marie, I-I'm afraid that I-I really m-m-must be head-heading-"Double D stuttered uncontrollably. Yet Marie continued to gently hold him down. Leaning forward, she began to inch closer to his face. NONONONONO! Double D thought to himself. It had been years since the Kankers had kissed the Eds: although they continued to flirt, this was more to make the boys feel uncomfortable than anything else. Yet as Marie drew closer to him, Edd's stomach started to do cartwheels. Please please please PLEASE not again…..
As he was walking out of the class, Johnny had noticed what was happening in the back of the room. Snickering, he had elbowed Rolf, who turned to see for himself. As they walked out, Johnny let out a wolf whistle while Rolf winked and gave Double D a quick thumbs up. Edds face turned an even brighter red then his shirt.
Yet Marie didn't kiss him. Instead she simply whispered to him, her lips so close that they almost touched his ear. Being this close to her, Edd couldn't help but notice that, well, he found Marie a bit less frightening then when they were kids. He caught a scent of her hair, which he found had a surprisingly pleasant smell. For some reason her perfume made his heart beat a bit…..faster.
Wait, what?
"So, did ya miss me sweetheart?" Marie's voice was dripping with coyness.
Edd stammered, "W-w-ell I did j-j-ust see you l-last week. I b-b-believe you hit me with a w-water balloon."
Marie laughed. "Hey, it was so hot outside, I just wanted to cool my man off" she said with mock innocence.
"My, how considerate of you". Edd said dryly. Marie smiled: over the years, Edd had lost most of his nervousness around girls (well except her). He also had developed a bit of a wry sense of humor, which was usually his way of showing displeasure at any given situation. That said, he was never nasty, nor did he ever try to make anyone feel bad. It was one reason why she loved him so much.
"Awww, my boyfriend thinks I'm considerate. How cute." She snickered as his face lit up. "I am considerate, aren't I? I mean, we went an entire period and I haven't done nuthin. Yet." Her eyes twinkled as she spoke.
Edd looked at her, unsure how to react. He realized with surprise that she had refrained from any of her usual pranks. Yet she did just admit to be planning something. Still, she was his lab partner, and he was stuck with her for the year. Might as well make the best of it, Eddward. Besides, Marie can, on occasion, be reasoned with.
"I- t-thank you for the c-c-consideration M-Marie. M-May I s-s-suggest that we put aside our d-d-differences and re-refrain from any tomfoolery during t-this period? We a-a-re lab partners after all. M-M-might as well try to get a-along".
Edd started to sweat as he saw her one visible eyebrow shoot up. Oh….crap. Thinking he might have gone too far, be braced himself for Marie's outburst. To his surprise, she just smiled.
"Alright, Double D. No promises, but I'll cut you some slack. Besides, I have a brainiac as a lab partner. That's gotta be worth 10 points on a test at least. Just don't let it go to your head." She finished the sentence with a wink. She then leaned closer to him again, her lips nearly touching his ear again.
"See ya later Sweetie" Marie purred. With her trademark grin of mischief, she got up and left. Edd could feel his ear gently tingling, although he had no idea why.
Edd had made it out of class unscathed. Marie had been, for her standards, nice. And he was still sitting here, mulling everything over.
Ummm…what just happened? Edd wondered quietly.
Although Marie decided to wait before having a little bit of "fun", her sisters did not have such patience. Ed was the first victim. During a break, the happy Ed had gone to his locker, intent on reading the latest issue of I Was a Mutant Sandwich. Yet when he opened his locker, he found that his backpack was gone.
"Umm….backpack?" Ed asked his locker. He began rummaging through his locker, finding old comics, empty soda cans, and a moldy slice of buttered toast (he put that in his pocket for later). He even took off his trademark green jacket and began shaking it to see if his backpack had jumped into his pocket when he wasn't looking. But still, there was nothing.
"Hey Big Ed….."
The voice of May Kanker reached Ed from down the hall. He looked up, with terror. "AHH! Keep back foul matron of make out!"
May simply giggled. She was leaning next to the door of the girl's bathroom, holding something in her hand. It took Ed a second to figure out what it was….
"Oh, no! Backpack!" Ed cried out. With a wicked grin, May casually opened the door to the girl's bathroom. "Looking for this? I'll trade ya a kiss for it" she snickered.
"Never!" Ed said defiantly
With a shrug, May casually tossed his backpack into the bathroom, walking away as the door slowly closed. She blew him a kiss, "Later lamb-chop….." and disappeared around a corner.
Frantically, Ed ran up toward the door's bathroom, stopping short just at its door. In distress, he dropped to his knees. "Backpack!" he shouted. "You're trapped in the realm of the yucky girl germs!"
With a sob, Ed let out a scream that was heard by all.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
By the time lunch had rolled around, Eddy was paranoid. He had heard from Double D his misfortune in lab partners, and had literally heard (like everyone else in the school) Ed wail after his encounter with May. Yet Eddy knew that both his friends had gotten off easily: it was his Kanker that was the truly terrifying one. Although Marie looked ready to sock anyone who so much as glanced at her funny, everyone knew Lee was the one actually gave out five finger sandwiches on a liberal basis. It was a well-known fact of the high school: of all the Kankers, Lee was the one to avoid like the plague.
Just my luck. My stalker happens to be the most psychotic of the trailer brigade, Eddy silently grumbled. Still, he really wasn't all that surprised. He was after all the most handsome, funniest, coolest, charming, likeable guy in town…
After picking up his lunch (just a tray of French fries), Eddy nervously approached the condiments counter. Looking around, all he saw was Kevin and Nazz flirting, Ed crying over his backpack, and Jonny cleaning his ear with a q-tip. No Lee anywhere.
Starting to relax, Eddy positioned his tray underneath the ketchup dispenser. Laughing to himself, he said "Holy crap sexy, you're losing it. Acting all nervous, and for what? You can handle a Kanker." Eddy smiled, his bravado returning. "God, I sound like Double D…."
Eddy hit the top of the dispenser, expecting a small stream of ketchup to slash onto his fries. What he got instead was a massive explosion that completely covered his shirt, splashed his face, and turned his lunch into an inedible pile of sloop.
"SON OF A B-" Eddy exploded, only to be cut off from a snicker.
"Aaaaaw, would ya look at that? Baby Eddy's made a mess. Want me to find you a bib?"
Eddy twirled around to face Lee, so angry he could feel his face turning several shades of red. "YOU!" He spat at her accusingly, which only reacted even more laughter from the oldest sister.
Pinching hic cheek like a baby, Lee walked off, giving a last parting shot at her humiliated target. "Be seein' ya Eddy. Try and clean yourself up, will ya? Don't want my man looking like a slob"
All around the cafeteria, the kids were snickering at Eddy, with the exception of Ed. "Will you looky over there? I wish I would wear ketchup like that" he sulked.
Eddy gritted his teeth, feeling his anger boil even more and more. With some strain, he managed to produce the three words that almost everyone felt.
"I. HATE. Kankers".
Double D was exhausted by the time school was over. He knew better then to expect Marie to leave him alone, especially after what happened to Ed and Eddy. He had another class with her, history, and the fact that she hadn't tried anything yet made him even more nervous.
Oh, curses. Why does this happen to me? I've been an outstanding citizen, never intentionally hurting others, always following the laws. Yet as Edd reached his locker, another thought crept into his mind, a thought that he had been trying to suppress the entire day.
While Marie has leaned in to whisper to him, he had been scared as natural. But there was something else. It wasn't fear that had made his heart beat faster, nor leave his ear tingling. It was like whenever he was a kid and Nazz would walk by. Good lord, did I just compare Marie Kanker to Nazz….?
His thoughts were cut short however, for as soon as he opened his locker, hundreds of spring loaded snakes flew out in everyone direction, taking Edd completely off guard. With a shout, he fell backwards, landing on the floor with a thud. His heart was practically in his throat.
Walking over, Marie smiled as she expected her handiwork. She was casually chewing gum as she looked down at Double D, who had a dazed look on his face,
"Shit Double D. You really scream like a girl, you know that?" She smiled impishly.
Still in shock, Edd responded in small voice as he meekly raised a finger. "There's no need for such coarse language, thank you."
She smiled. No matter what happened to him, Edd still had his principles. You had to admire a guy like that. "Hey, like I said Double D: outside science, it's open season".
Edd looked up at her with a mixture of exasperation and mild annoyance. Dryly, he said, "How marvelous".
Marie giggled as she bent down to at Edd on the head. "You're so adorable when you use big words, Dreamboat" she said with a pop of a bubble. Spitting the gum onto the nearest locker, she gave Edd a final wink.
"Later sweetie" she chirped and casually walked away.
As she did, Kevin casually came over to Double D, quickly glancing at him and Marie. He couldn't help but think that Marie was pretty cute; everyone guy in the school agreed, but had enough sense to keep such thoughts to themselves. Bending down, he patted Edd on the shoulder.
"Damn, Double D. You got yourself a feisty one. Lucky dork". With that, Kevin walked away, contemplating how Edd seemed to be making more progress with his girl then he was with Nazz. Edd just lay there, covered with the toy snakes.
What a day he thought numbly.
The three Ed's were not in the best of moods as they got back to the cul-de-sac. Ed had never retrieved his backpack, fearing that the girly germs would never be able to wash out. Edd was simply exhausted, the adrenaline rush of Marie's surprise attack having finally run off. Yet Eddy was still in a foul mood. His shirt was completely ruined, and he still had some dried ketchup stuck in his hair.
Yet as soon as the Ed's walked to his house, his mood got even worse.
"Hey-WHAT THE?! Where's my tires?!"
The tires were gone, leaving nothing but an indentation in the ground where they had been. Edd had thought keeping the tires outside had been stupid to begin with, but then again he couldn't imagine anyone who would want to steal such ugly monstrosities. He noticed that there was a note on the ground. Bending to inspect it, he called over to Eddy. "Eddy, there appears to be-"
Eddy ran over and shoved Double D out of the way. Grabbing the note, he read it frantically. Then he read it again. Then in a rage he tore it in half.
Edd, who had regained his composure, shot Eddy an angry glance. "Really Eddy, there is no reason to be rude!" Yet Eddy payed him no mind. His face was turning beat red with anger; Edd could have sworn that steam was about to come out of Eddy's ears.
Ed noticed it too, and pointed it out in his own way. "I think Eddy's teacup is boiling, Double D".
Edd saw the discarded note on the floor, and picked it up. It was quite easy to make out the writing, even if it was ripped in half. Yet as soon as he read it, his blood went cold.
It read: "Nice wheels squirt! I think we'll just hold onto these. C'mon down to the junkyard if you want 'em. Xoxo Lee, Marie, and May".
Edd noticed that the note only had one set of handwriting, Lee's most likely. Turning to Eddy, he saw that his friend had thrown caution to the wind and was about to make a very rash decision. "C'mon", he growled before stomping off.
With dread, Edd knew that Eddy was about to confront the Kankers. Although it was pointless, he tried to reason with him.
"Eddy, please stop! Surely by now you've realized the consequences of going up against the Kanker sisters!"
End flashback