Some weeks later after everything that happened with Sam and Tom, Red thought that Liz and he could find a way to get over everything that happened because after all she stopped him from flying away that day, but yet her coldness regarding him hadn't changed and he really hated that. But there was always a way, he just didn't knew which way but he would figure it out. He was a patient man and he could wait.
It was early morning when Red entered the post office and spoke about the new criminal on his blacklist. He and Liz would have to go uncover. Well, he could do it alone but he wanted to spend some time with her alone, he wanted to make it right and so this opportunity, a meeting with one of his associates in Puerto Rico, was just perfect. They would stay in his associates Villa in San Juan and he would introduce her as his girlfriend. She couldn't escape then.
Red was finished and Liz stood up, turned to Cooper and said "You don't expect me to spend an entire weekend in Puerto Rico." But before Cooper could answer, Red said "That is exactly what I expect."
"No." was her reply but then Cooper said in a serious tone "Agent Keen, a word."
Red left the room and the post office. Now he had some doubts about his plan, maybe he was pushing her too far but the conversation they had in the elevator was long ago and nothing has chanced since that.
Liz followed Cooper into his office. Cooper watched her a moment and said after he sighed deeply "I know that this is all a burden to you but there is no other way."
"You are putting me into an impossible situation, Sir."
"I know but your personal sensitivities are... unimportant."
"Personal sensitivities? He killed my father and just because I decided not to leave doesn't mean that everything is going back to normal. I said I will continue to work with him but that doesn't include a weekend in Puerto Rico."
"Reddington is too important. As much as I despise him and as I much as I hate him,... I have to admit that we need him, Keen. We need him... He is only on our side, if you are with us."
"It can't be always up to me. It is just not fair. "
" We have to play by his rules. I don't like it either. I am sorry, Keen. I really am."
"Yeah,... I am sorry too."
Liz stormed out of the post office and drove to the safe house were Reddington was currently staying. She knocked at the door and a moment later Dembe opened the door and greeted her "Agent Keen...Raymond is in the living room."
"Thank you, Dembe." she said and went straight into the living room. Liz spotted Red, who was standing in front of the window and watched the sun going down. He heard Liz walking in and without turning around he said "Lizzie, come here and watch the sunset. It is beautiful when the last rays of sunshine, shimmer through the brushwood."
"I know what you are trying to do and it won't work." A moment later he turned around, faced her and asked in an innocent way " Please do enlighten me.. What am I trying to do?"
"Don't play dumb with me. You know exactly what I mean."
"I am sorry, Lizzie. I don't... The yet will be ready at eight o'clock tomorrow morning, don't be late."
His ignorance was unbearable and in an angry way she asked "Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what, Lizzie?"
"Forcing me to spend an entire weekend with you?" His heart skip a beat in that moment because now he realized how she saw their relationship. She couldn't even spend some time with him. She did find him so repulsive that she couldn't do that.
He breathed deeply and sighed deeply before he asked "Will you ever get over what happened to Sam?"
"How am I supposed to get over that?"
"Do you even want to get over what happened?"
"I don't know. What do expect from me, Red?"
"I don't expect anything, Lizzie."
"Well, than stop acting like you do. Do you really think just because I came to you and want to find Berlin changes anything? It doesn't. The only reason I came to you, was to find Berlin and to get answers. Unfortunately I can't get the information I want without you. That is why I stopped you."
"So I will be from now on and forever the man who killed your father?"
"That is exactly what you are, isn't it."
"No, it is not what I am. It was more than difficult for me. I already told you that and it was the truth."
"Difficult for you. I am sure it was. You almost kill people on a daily basis. Can't be that hard."
Then there it was in his eyes again. The hurt she saw just like the hurt she saw after he admitted that he killed Sam and she told him that they were done. But this time the expression and the look on his face were plus something else. She couldn't really phrase it, maybe it was desperation but on the other hand she didn't believe that he could actually feel something like that or even remorse and yet his eyes were getting watery and his voice was low and defeated when he said "This is not going to work. I don't think I can be forever the murderer of your father in your eyes. I really thought.. we could find a way but that seems impossible and I can't take the look in your eyes every time you look at me... I though that all you needed... was some time but I was wrong, wasn't I? You even repulse the idea spending a weekend with me... Do you really hate me that much?... You will never forgive me and I am not willing to be seen like this. I won't apologize for what I did because after all I did put Sam out of his misery and you can believe it or not but I never had do anything that was that hurtful to me. And your mistreat.. I though I could take it but... I can't, Lizzie. Even if it is hard for you to believe I am after all just a man and I can't bear your hate anymore. I will protect and I will help you finding Berlin and the answers you seek but from now on we do it my way and I will send everything you need for your work to you. You won't have to face me anymore and you don't have to go with me. I will go alone and send everything you need to the post office."
For a moment she was speechless. Did he just ended their working-relationship?
Liz took a deep breath and said a little confused "I don't understand."
"What is not to understand, Agent Keen? I spare you the impossible weight off working with me, seeing me and being close to me."
Agent Keen. The only time he called her that was the first time she visited him in the box. Even if she denied it, she did like the way he said her name. It was comforting the way he said it. She looked at him in a questioning way and asked with a wavering voice "You are ending our partnership? Just like this."
Red chuckled and replied "Partnership.. Oh really... That is what you call this? All I see.. is an angry woman who hates me and can not stand to be close to me. You have all you wanted. Now you are free of me and still get your answers and Berlin, if you want. Dembe will bring you to your car." Reddington turned around and wanted to leave the room but her voice stopped him."Are you throwing me out?"
This question lingered in the room for a moment before he turned around again to faced her. Red sought out her eyes and said in a sad voice "I am not throwing you out. I am telling you that you are free. You can go now. I will never bother you again. Isn't that what you wanted all along?"
She didn't knew what to say, turned around and was on her way out. Red watched her go and he knew that, if she stepped outside he wouldn't have the chance again to be so close but he couldn't play around anymore. He was hurt and he simply could bear her refusal and the look in her eyes. It was too much.
Liz reached for the door knob and every part of her screamed to go. She would be free but one part of her detained her to actually turn the doorknob around and leave. She breathed deeply for a moment, turned around and went into the living room, where Red was still standing in front of his window. His eyes have followed every move of her.
Suddenly all her anger exploded and she screamed at him "You don't get to decide about this. You came into my life, ruined everything I had and now you just want to leave... Who do you think you are? All the bad things that happened to me, happened because of you and now you just want to quit." Liz wasn't the only one who was angry now. Red raised his voice a little, when he replied "If I am the reason for all the bad things, than you must be more than happy to get rid off me. "
"So this is it? You are leaving me alone?"
"Isn't that what you want?"
"It seems to be what you want, Red."
Red stepped a little closer to her and his voice changed again. The angry tone was almost gone and mixed with sadness which he couldn't hide when he said "Don't bring this on me. I want nothing more than to help you and protect you. Nothing in this world means more to me, than you do. Nothing..." Red stopped for a moment and with a coarse voice he continued "But I don't have a flinty heart and honestly... I endured your refusal long enough. I am done. I can't take it anymore. Believe or not.. your disapprove does affect me... and I can't pretend that it doesn't, not anymore. If all you see in me, is the murderer of your father, than there is no way I can be around you anymore. ….Maybe you were right and we are only hurting each other. Maybe it is for the best, if we part company." Liz swallowed hard while their eyes were still locked. She didn't know how to respond and all she could say was "You killed him."
"Yes, I did. I ended his suffering. But to you I am a monster. I know that you are angry and I did let you put it out on me but I can't be forever your punching bag."
"Red, I.. I can't chance how I feel."
"No, you can't and neither can I, nor can I change the past and even, if I could, I would always end his suffering because I loved Sam."
Liz broke the eye contact for a moment because she felt tears burning in her eyes. She took a deep breath, faced him again and almost whispered "I ...I just don't know how to get over it."
He wanted to comfort her, console her but he couldn't. He was in pain, too. She had to go over it alone. He knew that and yet he made another step towards her. He almost lifted his hand to touch her. God knows how bad he wanted to. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and comfort her but he couldn't. He had to protect himself. He looked away and said "Maybe you get over it, if you don't have to see me anymore. Maybe, if go through that door, you will feel much better. And maybe you can heal." With that said he looked into her eyes again.
They were both silent. Wrapped in their own thoughts. It was definitely a turning point and they both knew it. This moment would settle their relationship and it could go both ways but Liz didn't move. She was still standing there even though he did let her go. She didn't wanted to go. Or maybe she wanted, but she couldn't. They both didn't knew which one it was.
Red sighed again, he could almost read her mind and a part of him wished she would just leave and maybe he had chance to forget her and stop longing for her. But there was the other part. The so much bigger part that didn't wanted her to leave. The part that didn't even wanted to think about how life would be without her because that part knew that life would be darker without her.
Liz was frozen in that place. She was unable to move. She hadn't realized that she had actually hurt him or maybe she had and she wanted to hurt him. She didn't know which one it was. She didn't even knew what she was feeling right now. She was drawn to him and that was why she didn't told him to leave, when he offered her to go and that was the reason why she stopped him from flying away and why she tried to warn him that the FBI was coming for him. As infuriating he was and as dangerous and confusing as he made her life, she could always count on him. He was always there when she needed him and he always protected her. The truth was that she had treated him like shit in the past weeks and he did endured it as long as he could. In that very moment while they were standing so close and yet so distanced from each other, she realized that she had to make a decision and that he was right. They couldn't go on like this.
While Red was watching her he could almost hear her thoughts. He knew how hard she was fighting with herself and he knew that she learned things tonight she had always been ignoring and now the realization of that did hurt her.
After minutes in silence he said "You have two options now, Lizzie... you can come with me tomorrow and we try to work this out... or you don't come and I will never bother you again. It is your choice to make. But if you don't be there, you need to understand that this is the last time you see me in person and if you decide to show up tomorrow, you need to try to forgive me. You need to find it somewhere in your heart to forgive me. It can't go on like that. It can't."
"I know." it was merely a whisper. He watched her again for a long moment. After all she could decide not to come and this really would be the last time he saw her so close. Red made another small step forward and when he was so close that he could feel her breath, it took every manpower he had to deny himself the feel of touching her. The way she looked at him in that moment would be ached into his memory forever, she wanted and needed comfort but he decided against it and put his hands in his pocket, cleared his throat and said "You should go home, get some rest and try to sleep... Decide what is best for you. What you want and what you need..." he paused and their eyes were still locked and the feeling of wanting to touch her was stronger than before but he wouldn't do that to himself not now, not while everything was in the limbo. He stepped back and continued "The yet will be ready at eight o'clock tomorrow morning." Then he called for Dembe "Dembe, Agent Keen is leaving now."