A/N I'm sorry, but did you really expect them to be in character?

And did you really expect me to own Death Note? I'm not even Japanese, for Kira's sake.

Who let the dogs out?

Well it is dangerous to go alone…

CH2:Opposites? Light and Dark Hair

So, since L has black hair and eyes that make fangirls love pandas, and Light is supposed to be the opposite of L, Light should dye his hair white.

L- Can't argue with that logic.

Light- You can only say that because you aren't the one whose hair purity is in danger!

Mello- But then he'd look like NEAR.

L- Mello, why are you here?

Mello- Because the damn author LOVES me. Practically a stalker. Her phone wallpaper is ME.

Light- I don't want to look like an albino sheep!

Whine a little more and maybe it will change, Light. But you're right. You should have big, white, anime girl eyes with shinys in them and wear a short sleeved black T-shirt all the time. That doesn't look like L OR Near.

Light- No but it does look STUPID.

L- Her phone wallpaper….is you? Well is it a good picture?

Mello- Damn straight it is! I'm not wearing a shirt and I've got those badass mafia eyes on.

L- …

Mello- Well MATT said it was good.

…

Light- Anyways what is it with you and changing me to fit your views of my name?

You should get a high squeaky voice too, since L has a rather deep voice.

Light- No! Why can't I just stay me? Why can't you and the other fangirls just accept me the way I am, and stop trying to change me for your sadistic amusement?

Mello- Sounds like SOMEONE is coming out of the closet.

L- You shouldn't talk about yourself that way, Mello.

I think ballerina costumes are also very 'light'. I wonder where we can buy a 'light' pink tutu? Feathers are very 'light'. I think 'light' purple would be a good choice of boa.

Light- Stop that!

L- All this 'light' is blinding my eyes.

Mello- I didn't know 'light' streaked.

Light- Not you guys, too!

End of ch2

Matt- Review and suggest future jokes and puns! Also will do short stories if you want!

Mello- Why are you being the spokeswoman?

Matt- Cause she won't stop drooling over the picture of you on her phone.

Near: I want a hug. Mello?

Mello- Get away, you freak! I'm already with Matt!

Matt- I'll give you a hug, Near.

Near: Thank you.