His blue jacket was making him feel a bit too warm, and he would have been lying if he said he wasn't nervous. Just a little. Maybe. Lance turned towards Allura, trying to find the words to not make it awkward, even though that would be the most probable situation. They have known each other for a while by the time, not for same interests, but because of common friends and parties. He wasn't so sure that he liked her, nonetheless she was beautiful and after all you don't have to be in love with everyone you date.

"Hey, you're grounded tonight?"

"I don't know, mom said I was but dad said to not care."

"There's a party in Kinkade's. His parents won't be there, it'll be pretty wild. Would you go?"

"I doubt it."

"Why?"

"Because if I do what my mother told me not to do is because my father said it's okay and she becomes a monster to deal with and it's a total drag. Like, any minute, divorce" replied waving her hands over her head. Then was when Keith spoke up, reminding them that everyone was listening.

"Who you like better?" asked pulling his mullet slightly with two of his fingers and taking Allura by surprise.

"What?"

"You like your dad better than your mom?"

She held it for a second, not really doing any thinking about it.

"They're both screwed."

"No, I mean, if you got to choose between."

"I don't know. I mean, I don't think any gives a shit about me. They just use me to get back at each other."

In that moment Pidge burst out a laugh, almost snorting, causing Allura to turn around confused in order to look at her as she was sitting at the very back.

"Shut up!" yelled after what felt like an eternal couple of seconds.

"You're just feeling sorry for yourself" added Lance, dragging everyone's attention towards him.

"Well," the girl sighed "if I didn't, no one else would."

"Ow, you're breaking my heart" joked Lance a little in what seemed like a good attempt to relieve the vibes, but came out too dry and sounded kind of mean.

Everyone knew who and how Allura's family was, and the true was that they were the kind of parents anyone would wish. Where do you find a father who would give anything to please his little girl and a mother who worries so much about him spoiling her that goes mad about it? She didn't know what she was having.

"Sporto," called Keith "you get along with your parents?

He turned around. Somehow this guy Keith got a special talent to put him on his nerves and his questions were, honestly, amusing.

"If I say yes I'd be an idiot, right?"

"You're an idiot anyway, but if you say you get along with your parents then you're a liar too."

"If we weren't in school, you'd be busted."

Keith stared blankly at Lance for five seconds straight, and then pulled up a finger. His middle finger.

Silently witnessing, Hunk was getting tired from all that needless fighting and decided to spoke trying to keep the peace between all the persons in that room, in order to concentrate so he could finish (or should he say start) the essay.

"Guys, chill. I… I don't get along with my parents either, th… their idea of… parental compassion is… wacko."

"Bud" spited Keith looking straight at him. "You're parents' wet dreams."

"That's the problem."

Raising both eyebrows, Keith moved his head forward, as telling Hunk to go on, but when he guy didn't, he spoke instead.

"I see. You're uncomfortable when they make you wear this kind of clothes but face it, you're a… neo-super-maxi-dork? All you do is making yourself be a better citizen."

Keith couldn't believe these preppy kids with perfect dollhouses and families who cared and loved them were complaining about it. If he wanted something, he had to fight for it; if he was hungry, there wouldn't be anyone asking if he wanted a fucking sandwich. He was sure that was something neither of these guys was used to.

Nonetheless, even though he tried to bite his tongue, Lance always had had a short temper when it came to assholes. His family could anything people wanted to say about them, like about they were foreigners from Cuba, or had too many children; but his mother at least taught him that there things that were better left unspoken and couldn't help but confront Keith.

"Why do you have to insult everybody?"

"I'm being honest, asshole. I would expect you to know the difference."

"Well, he has a name."

Right. Keith wasn't the type that cared about what people thought or did but this guy here was being plain hypocrite. He could even bet that he himself didn't know that other guy's name.

He hated that.

"Yeah?" asked teasing.

"Yeah" stated Lance teasing back in the same way somebody would do to start a street fight. Then turned to his left and asked "hey, what's your name?"

Cheer him. He knew it.

"Hunk."

"My condolences."

"What's your name?" asked one of the girls all of sudden.

"What's yours?" questioned back Keith.

"Allura."

"Allura?" Believe him, he had heard a ton of strange names as Mikayla and Shaughnessy but never one like that.

"It's a family name."

"That sounds like a sort of a British elf name."

"I'm not an elf."

"Not now but I can see you really getting one of that surgeons to make your ears pointy."

She opens her mouth shaking her head a little offended while gesturing a 'fuck you' to Keith.

"That's a pretty filthy gesture from such a prestigious girl."

"I'm not that prestigious."

'Really?' thought internally Keith as he looked to that preppy dress of her and jewelry. 'You're totally right'. He could felt his blood boiling inside his veins because of such hypocrisy, but was not about to left her alone that easy.

"Are you a virgin? I'd bet a million dollars that you are."

"Why don't you just shut up?" Allura breathed in and made a point to quit yelling as she knew that responding was a waste of time, first because any answer would be wrong and most importantly because this guy didn't have to give a single shit about her life. It was hers, wasn't it?

"Did you even kiss a boy?"

"Leave her alone!" interrupted Lance, turning around to face Keith, who didn't even batter an eye, and so he repeated, now slower. "Leave her alone."

"You're gonna make me?" he responded.

"Yeah."

"You and how many of your friends?"

"Just me" replied Lance approaching to Keith, who was standing in the middle of the pass-through, until them both were face to face looking at each other, the inches that separated the top of their heads apart standing out and becoming noticeable. "You and me. Two hits. Me hitting you, you hitting the floor. You can tell me you're ready, pal."

"You don't wanna get this started."

"Huh, why not?"

"Because I'll kill you" said Keith simply, waving his arms to the sides and taking a step back. "I'll kill you and your parents will sue me."

In disbelief, Lance raised an eyebrow. Slicing a hand into the back of his pants, Keith smirked and pulled out a large twisted dark purple knife. He nailed it in a table while staring at the guy he was facing.

Lance's expression froze and everyone hold their breath. Somehow Pidge, who was the one closer to Keith, managed to take advantage of him not even blinking to not interrupt the eye contact and pulled out that strange dagger to take it away from him.

Just a second later, the boy in the blue jacket realized that he was holding his breath too and let it out. He let it all out and breathed again to recover some bravery. With someone like that guy, he could totally believe his life was in danger.

Even though, it actually wasn't. Keith wouldn't use the only memory he had from his family like that, only to be taken by the cops as evidence.

"Let's get this over. You don't talk to her, you don't look at her and you don't even think about her. You understand me?"

"I'm trying to help her."

Hi, everybody! I know, I know I've been dead and I need to update Pretty Little Girl (and I'll do, don't worry) but I needed a break. So far, the next chapter will be waaay longer than his one (hopefully) and we'll be getting to the heart of this parody.

I know some attitudes and acts of them are a bit OoC, but every one of these things are in order to make the parody work.

Talking about the SHIIIIIIPS, would you try guessing them? uwu

I'd like to thank everyone who left reviews, like:

Candymouse22 - Thank you! I really appreciate that you think the characters have traits in common as I do. I hope you find this chapter interesting!

Miss Arabella Jackson - Thanks! And… (? I can't tell that yet

Also to the anonymous reviewer - Thank you too! I hope this to be enjoyable to people who didn't watch the movie too.