Behind and Beyond: Gaara

Chapter 2: Realisation.

"Why hadn't it hit me yet?
Maybe I'm already dead?
The possibilities were endless in the darkness of my eyelids; that is, until I opened them.
I saw a wall of sand, blocking the kunai from my face, inches away from me.
To my instant surprise and confusion, Father was smirking.
"You've developed well, Gaara of the Sand."
And from that day onwards, I would call myself that. I had finally been acknowledged by my Father, at long last."

It had been a long night for me since that kunai was thrown at me by my Father, and since I'm unable to sleep (because of the Shukaku), the night was drawn out even longer. I had so many questions I wanted to throw at my Father, but even after he had complimented me, I knew they still wouldn't come out.

As usual, my family awoke at dawn, but I had never joined them in the mornings.
I don't know why, I just didn't.
Then again, I never really joined them in anything they did.
My siblings were always busy with their school work, and Father was always on a mission of some sort. After all, he was the Kazekage.

Like every morning, I sat at on my bed looking out of my ever-grubby window.
That is, until I heard a sharp knock on my door. Startled, I tumbled off my bed; immediately looking at the door.
"H-hello?" I asked, dumbfounded that someone had even wanted my attention.
"It's Temari," my sister replied, her tone aggressive as usual. I then scrambled up toward the door, pulling myself up via the latch; I then unlocked and opened it.

"What is it?" I asked, looking up at my stern-faced sister.
"In case you're forgetting, it's your first day at the academy today," She replied, looking away from me, and for some reason, I also saw a trace of embarrassment there too. "So you'd better hurry up and get ready if you'd like someone to escort you there…"
I looked up at her in awe, unsure if I had heard right. Before I knew it I felt a huge grin grow across my face; and I was hugging my sisters legs tightly, (As I was too small to reach anywhere else at the time).
"Thanks a lot, Temari! I won't be long, I promise!'

The tone I used just then was probably the most enthusiastic I've ever been; as I hurried around my room to look for clothing, I had never felt happier in my life.
Could things be turning around for me? Could I, the most hated person in the village, (though I didn't know at the time), make friends?
As I had finally finished dressing, I ran outside my house to see Temari there waiting for me.

"Where's Kankuro?' I asked out of curiosity, I hadn't seen him at all this morning.
"He's out accompanying Father on a mission, and next year that'll be me," Temari explained proudly, "Why do you ask anyway?"
"It's just that, I've always seen you and he travel together to the academy from my window," I replied, cautiously.

Temari then looked down at me, a hint of concern on her face.
"How often did you watch us make our way to our destinations, Gaara?"
"Erm…' I replied, looking up at her with such innocence. "Every day?..."
"Well, in case you haven't realised yet, that's slightly stalker-ish." She replied simply, grinning to herself, eyes closed. "I suggest you don't stare at people either, you don't want to make a bad impression on your first day, believe me."

As we approached the academy, I saw some faces I had never seen before outside the gates, most of them holding their parents hands; the others conversing with them. I was then tempted to hold Temari's hand for comfort, but I knew she'd pull away immediately. Once we had made it to where the other children were standing, the conversations were buzzing and they had bright smiles on their faces.
That is, until they saw me.

Once they noticed that I was there they immediately fell silent and stared at me, some of them even whispering into their parents ears. I was confused.
Why were they staring at me with those damn eyes again? There was nothing I hated more than people looking at me like that. Didn't Temari say before that if you stare, you'd give a bad impression?
Well, even if they did know that, they didn't seem to care. Temari didn't even seem to embrace the situation before her; then again, she didn't care either.

Nobody cared. Nobody except my Yashamaru.

As Temari bid me farewell, I looked up at her as if to say "Please, don't go." But by the time I could even think about giving her a second look she'd already made her way into the building. Now, I was left to face the "eye"-bearers alone.
Each of them continued to stare at me, and more of them began to whisper to their parents. Some of them, I even heard. Things like:
"Mother, isn't that the kid you told me to stay away from?'
"Gaara of the Desert, isn't it? He doesn't look so dangerous."
"Dad, can I please beat him up? He thinks he's so high and mighty!"

It's a horrible thing, loneliness. But even if I wanted to make a friend now, my pitiable confidence had already been completely demolished.
I decided to face away from the school gates, I thought maybe that way they wouldn't notice me as much. I then looked up to see my Father in the distance, making his way toward the school; he was fully dressed in his Kazekage uniform.

I couldn't help but smile as he came closer to me, all for me! It was honestly hard to believe he was here for only me, anyway.
"Father!" I cried, as he was now only metres away from me.
But as I ran towards him, he looked down at me… with those, eyes.
Once I caught a glimpse of them, I stopped in my tracks, and stepped back amongst my fellow students. As I was put in my place he made his way to the front of the crowd.

He cleared his throat, theatrically to get the attention of the children. Though, he didn't need to, they were ready to listen intently.
"Welcome to the academy, my children. I equitably hope that you will all grow up to be incomparable Shinobi of Suna. Before you start your fruitful journey on the path of the Shinobi; know this. It will not be a contented one. Nonetheless, make sure you face the dangers ahead with no fear; work hard and you will be prosperous. That is all."

I watched my Father in awe as he made his speech, and as he came to the end of it, the other children started clapping and whooping. He grinned and bowed, making his way from the school to his offices. I continued to watch as he walked away, barely noticing that the children had made their way inside the gates of the academy. I scurried in after them once I realised this.

I had always looked up to my Father, the reason being I wanted to become like him one day; maybe even a Kazekage. But I promised myself that if I were to have children of my own one day, I would never treat mine as he had treated his.

As we walked through the tall corridors of the school, I tagged along at the back of the other children; and that was when I realised I had always been behind others.
For my whole life, I was always the last one to know something.
The last one to catch on…

And that was when I vowed to make a change; a real one. I would make my family proud of me. I, Gaara of the Desert, will become omniscient and prosperous!
I would devote my life to my studies, and make my father love me once and for all.
Then, and only then would I be accepted for who I am.

"Alright Class," an unfamiliar voice called out to us; snapping me out of my sudden realisation. "Welcome to Suna's pride, where you will grow up to become elite Shinobi of the Sand! I, Nobuyuki Yukari, will be your Sensei for your time here at the academy. From here on out, you will know me as Nobuyuki Sensei."

[[ Hey guys, sorry about this chapter not being interesting, but I'll upload the next part a.s.a.p, as I couldn't put the main part of this chapter onto here; to me that would've been too long and boring. xDD Hearts! ~ ]]