Maggie flipped through the channels on the television, not really interested in watching anything. In the two days she had been in the hospital since waking up, she already could see small changes in things from watching TV – shows that didn't exist in 2017, but also similarities - the same 24-hour news cycle where everything was a mini crisis and the same never ending war on crime that Gotham seemed to be perpetually trapped in.

They had given her every battery of test imaginable it seemed and there was no cause they could pinpoint for the memory loss. Yes, she had apparently hit her head during some raid she and Jackson were a part of that ended in a warehouse explosion that had caused her injuries when the blast knocked her against a nearby building.

Jackson had been there every day and sat with her for hours, filling in some blanks for her such as this raid they were on. GCPD didn't have a Science Division like National City did but there had been an increase in alien activity in the city which was why Maggie had been hired there, Jackson told her. He had been assigned as her partner and while they weren't officially a science squad, they had been tasked with investigating crimes tied to alien activity which mostly had been tracking down a smuggling ring of alien tech that had popped up. They had been making progress too, which is what had led them to the warehouse, but whoever was running it must have been tipped off and destroyed the place before they could even enter it.

The doctors had cautioned her about asking too many questions and Jackson was warned about providing too much information – something both of them had mutually agreed to ignore, although they mostly stuck to safer topics such as work. Maggie had to admit, she did kind of like this guy.

She hadn't asked him anything else about Alex since finding out they broke up and part of her wondered if that was something she even really wanted to know about. The not knowing was driving her crazy, but to actually know what happened would somehow make all of this seem more real to her. Because right now this didn't feel real to her.

Later today she was supposed to meet with a psychologist as the memory loss could be trauma based they said, and she certainly wasn't looking forward to that. But if she wanted them to release her, it appeared that was one of the hoops she would have to jump through.

Another thing that was sort of weirding her out was that Jackson was the only one who had visited her. No one else apparently was concerned that she was in the hospital. She had made a passing comment to Jackson about it but he just shrugged it off saying that word about her memory loss had spread quickly at the precinct and no one had wanted to bother her since she couldn't remember her time there.

It didn't escape her notice that he was only talking about co-workers. If she had been dating someone – and she hoped she hadn't – that person hadn't showed up to see how she was doing.

Her mind was going in a hundred different directions that she almost didn't catch the Supergirl reference on the television. She flipped back to the channel she had just passed and turned the volume up.

"As you can see behind me, the destruction left over from Superman's battle with his cousin Supergirl, has still not been entirely dealt with," the news anchor was saying. "The rebuilding of many of the structures that were damaged in the epic fight continues three months after Supergirl's defeat."

File footage from that day was being shown and Maggie couldn't believe it as she saw the two Kryptonians fighting – going blow for blow at each other.

"It's still not known where Superman took his cousin following her capture, although many have conjectured that he either banned her from the Earth or she is being held in a secret prison somewhere," the anchor continued. "The former Girl of Steel who was once cheered on in this city is now reviled for the heavy-handed ways in which she decided to enforce laws, including becoming judge, jury and executioner."

The broadcast switched to another topic but Maggie was reeling from what she had just seen. What had happened? What had Kara done? She wished again that she had at least had her phone – Jackson said it was damaged in the explosion but he was working on getting her another department issued one – so that she could at least use it to figure out the things she had missed. Seeing that broadcast, she knew the things she couldn't remember must be worse than she could imagine.

Again, she wondered where was Alex? There was no way Alex would let her sister go on some vigilante justice spree. Nor would J'onn and the rest of the DEO, so what happened?

Reaching for the hospital phone, she didn't even think through the consequences of what she was doing as she dialed Alex's number. It rang and rang but instead of hearing Alex's message, it said that her voicemail was full and Maggie wouldn't be able to leave a message.

Jackson had written his number down for her, so she dialed it. He at least answered.

"Have you got me a phone yet?" she asked as soon as he answered.

"Not yet," he said. "Still working on it."

"Well, can you go to my place and bring me my laptop or something – anything that I can use to …"

"To what?" he interrupted.

"I'm missing nearly two years of my life, what do you think I want it for?"

"Maggie, I know you want answers to things, but I don't think that you should just dive right into all of that," he said. "At least talk to the psychologist first. Isn't your appointment in a couple of hours?"

She really wanted to yell at him, but she could tell he was just looking out for her.

"Fine," she said. "I will speak with the psychologist first but then I'm checking myself out of here and you can either help me by getting me damn phone or stay out of my way."

There was a slight pause. "I'll get you a phone," he said.

"Thank you," she said before hanging up. Now she just had to get through this psychologist appointment.

…

"Maggie, if you want me to sign off on your release from the hospital, I need you to start talking more," Dr. Smallwood said. Maggie had been sitting in her office for 22 minutes – she knew because she kept looking at the clock behind the doctor's head.

So far, she had listened to a lot doctor speak about memory and trauma and had answered some questions, mostly with yes or no or 'I don't know.'

But when Smallwood asked her what was the last thing she remembered from 2017, Maggie hadn't answered. She didn't want to say that the last thing she remembered was her confronting her father, knowing he would never accept her or the life she wanted to build with Alex. She didn't want to say that the last moment she could remember was being held by Alex and feeling like she was the luckiest woman in the world to have found someone who loved and accepted her for all the parts of her like Alex did.

"You can't actually stop me if I sign myself out," Maggie responded.

"I can however keep you from returning active duty."

She wasn't incorrect there, as one of the first things she had said to Maggie was that in addition to being on staff at the hospital, she was also contracted with the GCPD to handle evaluations when it came to officers being on leave of which Maggie currently was due to the explosion.

Maggie sighed and launched into what she remembered from that day, trying to keep it as succinct as possible.

"So, when I woke up, I thought I was in National City and I thought I was engaged, two things that apparently aren't true," Maggie said.

"Why do you think you and Alex broke up?"

"I don't know," Maggie said sternly, hoping that she would get the hint that it wasn't a topic for discussion. Hell, it was about all Maggie had thought about but she couldn't come up with a reason unless the fault lied with her. Her history with relationships wasn't the greatest and she wondered if she had messed it up in some way. She wasn't the same person she was when she cheated either so she didn't believe it could be anything like that.

There was a knock on the door and Dr. Smallwood told the person to come in. Maggie looked behind her and saw Jackson and immediately looked back at the doctor.

"Since your partner here has been the only one you have had contact with outside of the hospital staff, I thought that it would be best if I brought him in for this next part," Dr. Smallwood said. "Jackson told me some things in confidence about your desire to learn about the things you can't remember."

"Sorry partner," he said taking a seat beside her. "But I know you're going to start asking questions and I wasn't really sure how to answer some of them."

"We want to make this a safe space for you Maggie," the doctor said. "Because there are some aspects of your life as it pertains to Alex that Jackson has filled me in on and I think it might be best if we talk about them in here as opposed to you discovering them on your own."

"What kinds of things?" Maggie asked, but she wasn't looking at the doctor, she was looking at Jackson.

Jackson looked to the doctor who nodded her head. "When you first transferred here to Gotham and we were assigned as partners, you didn't want to talk much about National City. I saw your record there so I knew it must not be anything professional, then a few months in you finally told me about Alex – about how you met, and her coming out and everything."

"You know why we broke up?"

"Yes," he said. "It was because she wanted children some day and you didn't, and neither of you were going to back down from your position. Alex was the one who ended it."

Maggie looked away from him, staring out the window. Children. Alex had wanted children. And Maggie, well, she didn't. How could she? Especially with what happened with her own childhood. Especially after how things ended with her dad.

Quickly getting out of her seat, Maggie felt like she couldn't breathe. She wanted to cry and throw something at the same time.

"Maggie, it's ok to feel whatever you are feeling right now," Dr. Smallwood said.

Maggie wanted to laugh at her for even saying something as absurd as that. She loved Alex, she still loved Alex. In her mind atleast it had been 2017 just a couple of days ago. She wanted that time back, but now …

Calming herself, she took her seat once more but she didn't say anything. No wonder Alex hadn't answered the phone – not that she would have known it was Maggie calling but if Alex saw it was a Gotham number she must have suspected it was. Of course, that was assuming that Alex knew she was in Gotham. Maybe Alex didn't care where she was. Maybe Alex had already found someone that could give her the things she wanted.

"Just let us know when you want to continue," the doctor said after several minutes had passed. The way she phrased it, caused Maggie to make eye contact with her once more.

"Continue? I don't … I don't want to talk about that, I need time …"

"Of course, you do, and I'm not here to pressure you into talking about it right now. I think it's telling that you woke up and have essentially erased two years of your life from your mind from the point right before you and Alex broke up," she said. "But my concern now is that when you leave this hospital that you have certain pieces of information now rather than you finding out by searching the web."

"What are you concerned I'm going to find out?"

Again, Smallwood looked to Jackson but he didn't say anything immediately.

"What is it?" Maggie asked.

"You um, you only told me about Alex after she, after she died."

If Maggie thought her heart was already breaking, she was sure of it now. Alex was dead. She clapped her hand over her mouth, stifling the sounds she wanted to be making, even as she felt the tears start.

"How?" she managed.

"It was a hit and run crash."

Maggie buried her head in her hands. Suddenly, she looked up, remembering that news broadcast and how she had wondered how Alex wouldn't have let Kara turn vigilante. She would never have allowed that, but Alex wasn't there to stop it.

Had Kara in her grief gone crazy?