A/N: Thank you thank you thank you to all who left kudos and reviewed! Hopefully you continue to enjoy this. Thanks to my beta, Shi'ar.
"Why can't it be like it used to be?
Why can't it be like it was?"
"Have you gone absolutely barking mad?" Ron asked upon stepping through the green flames of the floo.
"We're all mad here," Hermione intoned humorlessly. She sat on the sofa in front of the fire, eyes glassy, her stomach churning. They had returned half an hour ago. Her new husband had preferred to Floo alone, retiring to his room severely weak, not speaking a word to her. She couldn't very well blame him. He was again tied to someone against his will, and this time under the condition of a soul bond, one of the most powerful magics in existence. He deserved to be ornery.
Her eyes roved over Ron, and her heart squeezed in a vise grip as she beheld him. As usual, he had soot speckled over his freckles and across the shoulders of his cloak. She couldn't even bring herself to murmur a cleansing charm as she normally did. He was on a warpath, and just like she couldn't blame Snape for his attitude, she couldn't blame Ron for his fury now. For once, she didn't have it in her to challenge him. She'd saved Snape, but had destroyed her relationship with the one she'd always longed to love. How was it they were still suffering after the blasted war had been won? Hadn't they been through enough?
"How could you let this happen?" Ron demanded of Harry, stepping forward menacingly.
"Let?" Harry shook his head. "No one's the boss of Hermione. You know that, mate. Her mind was made up."
Hermione hugged her knees to her chest, wishing she could disappear. "Don't pretend you weren't backing me one hundred percent," she chastised Harry. "You had the same notion when the verdict was read."
Harry shoved a hand through his hair and looked to Ron. "It was insanity," he told his friend, attempting to make him understand. It was a lost cause, really. Ron, once upset, was not easily mollified. "They were going to turn him into a Squib."
"And why the bloody fuck should we care?!" Ronald bellowed. "He made our lives miserable for six years, and now it's all, oh, he's actually a hero, let's marry him?" Veins bulged at his temples and across his forehead, and his jaw was clenched so tight it seemed his teeth would break.
Hermione wasn't sure she had ever heard him so enraged, even when he'd been wearing Slytherin's locket for too long. As he focused his irate fervour on her, she shivered and clutched desperately at her knees, wondering if she could fold in on herself enough to dissipate entirely.
"What about us, Hermione? What about our future?" Ron suddenly surged forward and gripped her upper arms painfully, a desperate look on his mottled face.
"Ron, you're hurting me," she whispered, tears filling her eyes. She wasn't one to doubt herself often, but she was questioning everything now. She'd thought only of Snape's future, not of her own. But it hadn't been a selfless action; it had been selfish. It was one thing to throw away her own future to save another, but she had also disrupted Ron's future, as well. She felt herself breaking, giving into the onslaught of moisture that had gathered in her eyes.
Harry grabbed Ron and pulled his hands off of Hermione. "Let her go, mate."
Ron's eyes filled with angry tears, and he roughly jerked out of Harry's grasp. "How do you expect me to let her go, exactly? I am still trying to let go of my dead brother. Now I have to give up my girlfriend, as well? What's next?" He clutched at his ginger strands, looking deranged. Hermione worried for his sanity. A tortured sob left her throat, and he faced her, his eyes wide.
He dropped to his knees before her, his hands curling around her legs as he stared pleadingly at her. In a small, sorrowful voice, he begged, "Please, Hermione. Please undo this. I need you, don't you see? I need you."
As her heart shattered into a million pieces, she only vaguely registered that the door to the library had opened.
"I'd thank you to remove your hands from my wife, Mr Weasley." Snape's voice was cold as it echoed around the room. Despite the frigidity of his tone, it ignited a fire in the redhead.
Slowly, his fury radiating off him in waves, Ron let go of Hermione and stood, facing Snape with a look that should have killed the dark wizard all on its own. He wasn't as tall as their former professor, but he was packed with muscle, making Snape seem almost scrappy in comparison. Hermione knew Ron could do a lot of damage, if he wanted to. And he looked like he very much wanted to.
"You!" Ron thundered, moving purposely toward Snape. "You bloody fucking greasy bastard git!"
"Ron!" Harry shouted, and tried to step in front of his friend. The redhead shoved Harry to the floor as if he were a bothersome paperweight.
Hermione watched, frozen in horror, as Ron descended upon a seemingly unconcerned Snape. Ron's beefy fists rose, and he jabbed Snape in the face before landing a solid punch to his abdomen. Snape, in his weakened state, doubled over and then crumpled to the floor, hands over his stomach, face twisted in pain.
Ron reached for his wand, and there was a demented gleam to his eye as he raised it. Hermione finally gained the cooperation of her body, and rushed forward to block Snape, casting Protego to shield him seconds before Ron spit out a calculated Crucio. She gaped at her boyfriend - or, ex, as it were - hardly believing her ears. He glowered at her, his face red, untroubled that he had just cast an Unforgivable Curse that Hermione herself had been subjected to only a few months previously.
Suddenly, Ron's limbs seized up and he dropped backwards to the floor, Harry's Petrificus Totalus binding him into nonresistance.
Harry's green eyes flicked to Hermione, and they stared worriedly at each other for a few moments before springing into action. "Take Snape upstairs, and ward his room," Harry directed. "I'll deal with Ron."
Hermione nodded, eager to follow orders in the chaos that had resulted from her brash actions. She knelt beside her new husband, her hands roaming over him as she checked him.
"Get away from me," he sneered at her, staggering to his feet and attempting to make for the stairs. He didn't make it halfway before dropping down to his knees. His earlier outing to his court hearing, in addition to Ron's assault, on top of the weak state he was already in due to Nagini's attack, had debilitated him greatly. She knew, based on the memories Harry had seen and told her about as well as what she'd experienced in the past few weeks taking care of him, that Snape did not receive assistance gratefully. He clearly appalled appearing powerless, but it couldn't be helped.
Sighing, she bent and grabbed his arm to bring it around her shoulders, and hefted him up determinedly, ignoring his grunts of disapproval.
As she settled him onto his bed, propping pillows behind him and dragging the cover up over him, she spotted the still-healing swollen veins that started on his neck and crept down his chest. When they had first rescued him, she'd witnessed Nagini's venom sweeping through his system; his veins had turned black as he lay dying, inching down his chest in stark contrast to his pale skin. At the time, she had been certain he wouldn't survive. They all had thought the worst. His recovery was nothing short of miraculous. However, his new life was proving to be anything but. Her heart softened toward him, as she watched him resist her help. He deserved peace. Even if he was shite at maintaining it. She shook her head as she remembered his words to Ron. I'd thank you to remove your hands from my wife. Surely Snape didn't give a fig where she was concerned.
Disgusted by her roiling emotions, she pointed her wand at the hearth and murmured a quiet Incendio before turning to him. She handed him a pain relief potion and watched with a gimlet eye as he grudgingly upended the vial's contents into his mouth.
"I'll come back to check on you tonight. Healer Atterberry will be back in the morning, but if you feel you need attention before then, I can summon her sooner." She filled a glass of water and set it on the small table at his bedside.
"You may as well not come to me tonight," he rumbled, and the words strangely lacked their normal derision. "I can't… I won't be able to… I'm still healing," Snape told her gravely, not meeting her eyes.
She caught on rather quickly, considering her inexperience in such matters. She hadn't even pondered their wedding night, and she found herself feeling slightly nauseated as she dwelt on it. What would it be like to give herself to a man who hated her? It was certainly not the dream way of losing her virginity she'd always pictured.
Nodding distractedly, she replied, "Of course. We can worry about… consummation… later. But," she continued, staring at him resignedly, "they will expect us to do it soon." She could feel her cheeks blooming with color in her embarrassment, and was exceedingly grateful in that moment for the wall he'd erected and maintained between their link with his Occlumency.
"Don't you think I'm aware of that?" he asked her snidely.
"Whatever," she snapped. Then, after a deep breath to calm herself, she added, "Goodnight." She walked out of his room, her stomach in knots.
"I'm going to pretend, given the circumstances, that I didn't hear you cast an Unforgivable." Harry's voice admonished Ron, as Hermione reentered the library. Harry was an Auror now, and could easily apprehend his friend for his indiscretion, but Hermione was in agreement that given the circumstances, it should be excused for now. She was still spitting mad that Ron would do such a thing, especially in her presence after he'd watched her suffer in excruciating pain for hours after Bellatrix's reign of terror on her, but she didn't have the energy to feel anything but exhaustion.
Hermione sat down on her favorite sofa, pulling her knees to her chest again and staring into the fire. What a complete and total mess. Snape wasn't even grateful. Of course she didn't expect him to be blissful that his magic was now tied to hers, but at least he still had his magic. If he would perhaps show one ounce of appreciation for what she'd done for him, maybe she wouldn't feel so utterly sick now.
"I'm sorry," Ron said bitterly, jerking her from her thoughts with surprise. He knelt before her once more, and pushed an errant curl behind her ear. "I reacted that way because I love you. I love you so much, Hermione, and I feel like you've been stolen right out from under me."
She closed her eyes and swallowed past the lump in her throat. "I love you too," she whispered, unsure if she should voice such a thing at this point. She was a married woman now, bizarre as that was; and though her affection for Ron wasn't likely to just suddenly evaporate, surely she shouldn't be speaking words of affirmation to any man but her husband. Not that she had any words of affirmation for Snape.
"Look," Harry interjected, sitting next to Hermione on the sofa and placing a hand on one of her knees. "Kingsley and I had an interesting conversation, before the bonding." At the reminder of that, Ron snarled, and Hermione winced. Harry continued unabated. "Apparently there are many who didn't want to impose that verdict on Snape. It was a close vote. And after you stepped up so quickly to save him - you, the ever-fair Hermione Granger - they expressed concern that they were wrong to distrust him." He looked between Ron and Hermione. "That means they could overturn it, and you could get an annulment. We just have to wait them out."
Ron seemed slightly pacified by Harry's conclusion, but Hermione felt a strange hysteria building within her. Wait them out? Where did that leave her? She had to consummate with Snape; the Wizengamot had made it clear the bond was nothing without it, and if they didn't do it soon the Ministry would consider their bonding null and carry on with stripping his magic. Her desired relationship with Ron had gone to pot, she had a new husband she was trying to find affection for, and all of it may or may not be reversed at some unknown time in the future. How on earth was she going to navigate the minefield that had become her life?
"I will wait for you," Ron vowed to her, cupping her face in his hands. "I'll have Dad feed into Snape's good image, and they'll overturn everything in no time. Then we can be together," he told her, pulling her head to his chest and squeezing her tightly.
Hermione stared numbly to the side at Harry, and she could see in his eyes that he had tried to instill a false hope to appease Ron. He appeared deeply regretful. But she knew that no one could be as regretful as she.