Summary: Married life.
Alec woke hours later, his back to Lydia and as he sat up he glanced at her, still dressed in her wedding gown atop the covers, and he sighed, this was his reality now.
He scrubbed his eyes, forcing the lingering images of his dream from his mind, a dream about a laughing Magnus and breakfast in bed, summoned from who knew where.
Alec rose from the bed and went to collect breakfast for himself and his wife, ignoring the stares, hoots and hollars from the other Shadowhunters.
Alec closed his eyes when he reached the kitchen and took several deep breaths before he began making breakfast and then he took the food back to their room.
"Morning." Lydia said as Alec entered the room.
"Morning." Alec returned.
"We should make an appointment for the Clinic." Lydia said as she nibbled on a piece of toast.
"Why?" Alec asked.
Lydia stared at him a long moment, "A fertility Clinic, Alec."
Alec's eyes widened in terror.
"We'll tell our parents that it's just a precaution, nothing more." Lydia explained, "Afterall, Shadowhunters live short lives, I should know."
"Okay." Alec whispered.
Lydia stared at her husband while he picked at his food, not actualy eating more than a couple bites. As she watched him she wondered how such a tall man could make himself look so small and at the very back of her mind, the part that had told her what a bad idea this marriage was, whispered a depressing thought, would Alec even have the strength to persist in their marriage long enough to see their children born?
Lydia pushed the thought away and forced herself to focus on the now, she and Alec would be running the Institite now, their morning Honeymoon nearly finished.
The next few months Lydia watched her husband drift away from his family, he never spoke to his parents unless neccessary and after an explosive shouting match with Jace Wayland anbout Clarissa Fairchild, didn't speak with his Parabatai, blocking their connection until Jace couldn't feel even the slightest emotion. Jace had come to her concerned and Alec refused to comment.
Isabelle tried but she couldn't bare the sight of the Ghost her brother had become and was gone on information gathering missions more often than not.
And Alec would stare longingly when Magnus Bane showed up at the Institute for one thing or another but the Warlock didn't seem to notice how he shattered Alec whenever he appeared, like food just out of reach for a starving man.
"We need to talk." Lydia said as she entered Alec's office.
Alec looked at Lydia and set aside his current stack of paperwork and motioned her to sit.
"What do you need, darling?" Alec asked, they had agreed on three terms of affectin each in order to cast the illusion that they were falling for one another but Alec's eyes always dimmed a little further when he spoke them.
"When was the last time you slept?" LYdia asked, "You haven't been coming back to our room."
"There's just so much work to be done." Alec tried.
"You've been patrolling area where Downworlders reported being treated unfairly by Nephilim." Lydia interrupted.
Alec scrubbed his face with his hand, "I know, I... Jace and Simon have started dating and I want them to be able to be together without being outcast from both sides."
"You are the one that petitioned the Clave for more lenient restrictions for Downworlder intermarriages and same-sex relationships." Lydia realized.
"I can't do anything for me but I can help them, I even invited the Downworlder leaders to a neutral place to form a Downworlder Council."
"I assume I will be the Nephilim representation." Lydia said.
Alec nodded, "I don't know if I could make it through one since he'd be there."
Lydia nodded understandingly, "I understand, Alec, where will the meeting be?"
"That's up to you, just not here, they would't feel comfortable or safe here."
"This is great work, Alec, but if you keep on the way you are you'll run yourself into the ground."
"Someone has to do it and the others don't listen to you the way they do me, I'll be fine, Lydia."
Lydia looked at Alec and knew it was a lie, one Alec had been telling himself since their wedding.
"I'm going to the Clinic tomorrow, my parents are pressuring me for children." Lydia lied, she hoped that a child would help some spark left in Alec become the fire she'd seen before they'd married.
"Alright, do you want me...?"Alec looked sick even asking and Lydia knew that his child would not be enough, their marriage was just a long , slow, torturous death for Alec and now they both knew it.
"No, I'll be fine alone, worry about your Downworlders." Lydia told him as she stood.
"Lydia-" Alec started as he stood as well.
"It's okay, Alec, it's good work, neccessary work. Be safe." Lydia interrupted and left, left Alec in his office, looking more lost than before.