I think it's time. Time to tell you the ending to the story of what really happened on that ship. On those days that.. That changed everything. The day of Fire. Of Rage. Hatred. The day I overstepped my boundaries when I let my demons do what they pleased. The day I didn't care anymore.

After I had escaped, I burned them all. Even the survivors left on the ship, but I didn't feel them. No, they weren't connected. I felt the others though. Yes, all those connected to the Queen who, for a short while, was my mother. My reason for living. She was so much different from Mother. From your Aunt. No, she was filled with malice. With hatred.

She didn't care for them, the remaining humans. To her, they were food. They were her new childrens' wombs, those who survived the initial attack anyways. After Dauntless, I didn't care. I opened the blast door and let them in. I joined her. I had no way to get home, to you, or to any of you. I'd had enough of not having any more hope. So, like a machine with no more purpose, I stopped. The caring in m stopped, as did the kindness. I let my Split take over.

Of course, when I found out that She had kept Dauntless alive, to join her to her hive, that all changed. My only ember left, my only connection to you. And that bitch was trying to snuff it out. So, I grabbed her and ran. But, not before rigging the refineries to ignite. With their secondary fuel lines ruptured, the whole ship would be engulfed in flames in seconds...

...

I felt them all burn. Hundreds of lives, all burning at once. Every part of my body burning a thousand different ways, only a third of the voices even able to scream in agony inside my mind, and only a fraction able to string even a word together. And with each and every one of them, they cursed me.

And I rejoiced. I drank in their suffering like some kind of sick masochist. As they screamed their curses at me, I screamed at them.

"Yes! Burn! Burn like the monsters you are! You don't deserve to fucking live, not after what you did to me, to those I care about! YOU! YOU TRIED TO CHANGE HER MIND! WARP HER INTO A SLAVE, A FRACTION OF WHAT SHE WAS! NO MORE LAUGHTER, NO MORE FUN! JUST HUNGER, AND LUST, AND THE WILL TO SERVE! YOU WERE GOING TO TURN THE ONLY ONE I HAVE LEFT INTO A MONSTROCITY!"

Then, all the voices fell quiet. Replaced by a single, simple, chuckle. Her. The one who commanded them all. She laughed as she said to me,

"Young warrior. If we are all monsters, what does that make you? You condemned us all to death, even though you knew you would have to endure the pain of a thousand souls."

I think she realised pretty quickly that I didn't care. She must've found out that, due to her actions, I wasn't there anymore. That she had indeed warped, not Dauntless, but me, cutting out all empathy and only leaving a hunger for death and a lust for pain. It's ironic.

What made it worse was, even after my lust was sated, the pain didn't stop. Even after we put miles and miles between us and that ship, the pain never stopped. In fact, I don't think it ever topped, even after I cut all my connections with them and rejoined Mother.

I have demons, Vitalia. You have to understand that. Don't ever forget that. Never follow my legacy. You are everything it means to me to be good. Don't ever forget that.