Title: If Kisses Were Wishes, You'd Be Dead
Characters/Pairings: Various
Author's Notes: Behold a bunch of short stories chronicling accidental kisses between SnK characters.
Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Shingeki no Kyojin. If I did, the English translation of the manga wouldn't be so awful and uke!Levi would be strictly prohibited.

About this chapter: No manga spoilers. Beware of some foul language a la Jean. (Rated: T)

02: Jean/Annie

Well, Jean had gotten through another crappy day of training. To make matters worse, the trainees only had 15 minutes for lunch before they were expected back on the grounds for a brief lesson on changing the gas cylinders on their 3D Maneuver Gear. And Jean was pretty sure Instructor Keith Shadis didn't know the meaning of the word "brief," so it would probably drag well into the evening until Shadis was satisfied with the trainees' grasp of his lesson.

Jean sighed and sat down heavily on one of the dining hall benches, shoving a spoonful of mashed potatoes into his mouth as he pondered his situation. His whole body ached. Was this really even worth it anymore? He just wanted to go through with this whole damn thing so he could get into the inner walls. No way was he letting his family suffer the same fate as those who had lived inside Wall Maria. No way. He'd save them, and not by being some martyr like that damn Yeager. Resignedly, he absently piled the peas on his lunch tray when he realized he'd answered his own question: He'd have to go on if he wanted any chance at the inner walls.

"Feeling ill?"

Interrupted from his brooding, Jean looked up and was surprised to see Annie Leonhart standing across the table from him. She wasn't the type of engage others and, honestly, Jean thought this might have been the first time he heard her speak. She pushed aside her wispy bangs and regarded him with a slightly raised eyebrow. He blinked and realized he was staring.

"Nah, just, you know…" he began as he gestured vaguely at his food, trying to avoid bringing up what he had been pondering just moments before, "sick of this slop. I guess no one told the cooks that mashed potatoes are more than just potatoes thrown in some boiling water and crushed into a lumpy, lukewarm mess."

Annie glanced down at his tray and shrugged. "Are they that bad?" she asked.

"Nothing like my mom's," Jean concluded, warming up to this conversation. It felt natural. A lot better than grumbling about practice or talking about titans. It was the first time since he joined the 104th Trainee Squad that his realized just how much he missed his family.

"Hmm," Annie mumbled, her attention seeming to waver back into disinterest. "I wouldn't really have anything to compare them to."

"You've never had mashed potatoes?" Jean questioned, eyebrows rising in disbelief. That was sacrilege in his book. He wasn't a food-freak like Sasha, but there were just some foods that he expected to have a sacred place in every family household. Mashed potatoes were a staple—something kids rejoiced to see on the table for dinner. "Your mom never made them for you?"

Her expression darkened considerably.

"No," she said tersely.

Leaning across the table, Jean studied her tray and realized that she didn't even have any mashed potatoes on it. The only thing on her plate was a small portion of beef and some beans. Well, that was just sad. They were training to be in the goddamned military; they had privileges. People who starved themselves for vanity or to prove some point about those inside Wall Rose receiving rationed food really pissed him off. It was aggravating, and he wasn't going to stand for it. He scoffed and dug a spoon into his own pile, making sure that some of the gravy was included in the scoop. He held the spoon out the Annie.

"Here, try some," he offered. "They seriously aren't that bad, just not the best I've had."

Annie frowned and shook her head. She might have even taken a few steps away from him. Well, geez. It wasn't as if he had germs. Feeling impatient and not willing to let this standoffish girl walk away until she had tried some mashed potatoes, he stood up and leaned over the table to get closer to her.

"Stop being so goddamned stubborn and just try them already," Jean said impatiently, pushing the spoon toward her.

Their eyes met over the spoon, and Jean realized her glare might rival his own. Her eyes were flint, daring him to even try moving that spoon any closer to her. She could kick his ass; he knew that. That didn't mean he knew better, though. Steeling himself, he dared to move the spoon closer until it was nearly touching her mouth.

"Open your fucking mouth, Leonhart," he all but snarled. Stop being such an ice-bitch, was on his tongue, but he somehow managed to swallow that ill-advised insult.

The hard blue eyes watching him narrowed to slits and an arm came into his line of sight. Jean tensed. But instead of knocking him on his ass, she unexpectedly snatched the spoon from his hand.

"You overreact to everything, don't you?" she asked, her voice flat. "Fine. I'll try them if it'll make you leave me alone."

Wavering between victory and the lingering apprehension over harassing a girl who had already utterly humiliated both Eren and Reiner during training exercises, Jean stayed silent as she finally ate the mashed potatoes. It was a short-lived and somewhat hollow victory in hindsight. Without a change in her expression or any further conversation, she dropped the spoon on his tray and turned to retreat to a table across the hall. Making a note not to cross paths with Annie again, Jean realized he'd wasted a good portion of his lunch period and dug into his food.

When he looked up from his tray again, Marco had appeared and was grinning across the table at him. "Wow, I didn't know Annie and you were that close," the freckled boy observed, plopping down his tray and rounding the table to take a seat next to Jean.

Jean raised an eyebrow at his friend and continued to eat his mashed potatoes. "Huh? What are you talking about?" he asked around mouthfuls. Marco tried to ignore the bits of food flung his way. He pointed to the spoon in Jean's mouth and grinned. Jean shifted the spoon to the corner of his mouth and managed to inelegantly mumble over it, "My spoon? What's that have to do with anything?"

"Do you have to be so disgusting?" Marco asked suddenly, his smile faltering as he wiped a bit of stray potato from his shirt.

Jean glared, took the spoon from his mouth, and dug into his potatoes with renewed vigor as if to prove that he could be even more disgusting. With a sigh, Marco pushed his tray aside, wondering if his appetite might return once Jean stopped devouring his food like a starved dog.

"So, what were you saying about Annie?" Jean finally asked as he polished off the last of his food.

Marco smiled again and tried to hold back his laughter. "Nothing, just… you two…"

"What?" Jean demanded.

He quickly replayed his short-lived conversation with Annie, trying to recall any instance between them that might have been misconstrued as overly friendly or romantic. He couldn't think of anything that he said or did that might have been seen as anything more than a polite gesture. He hadn't even really been that polite to her; if anything the exchange had been hostile.

Beyond the fact that he had prodded the usually aloof girl into conversation, he couldn't think of anything extraordinary about the exchange. Jean paled nonetheless and gave Eren's table a quick glance to make sure Mikasa wasn't in a jealous rage or something. Not that he expected her to be, but a guy could dream. She was perfectly indifferent, as always, and conversing with Armin while Eren laughed at the exchange.

"I didn't do anything. What are you talking about? And what does a spoon have to do with it?"

Marco took his own spoon and pointed it at Jean, who blinked in confusion. "Indirect kiss."

"W-what?" Jean sputtered.

"She ate off your spoon after you had eaten from it. That's an indirect kiss," Marco explained.

Jean blushed ten shades of red and glanced fearfully across the room to where Annie was now sitting by herself. She didn't seem particularly affected in any way, so Jean hoped to God that she was just as oblivious to the concept of indirect kissing as he was. Because he didn't want to give her the wrong impression. And he definitely didn't want anything to interfere with him trying to win Mikasa's affection, though that was proving impossible.

Marco slung an arm around Jean's shoulder and grinned, saying, "I think you two make a great couple. With her nose and your horse head, you'd have beautiful children."

"Fuck you, Marco," Jean grumbled, pushing the boy's arm off his shoulder.

Marco chuckled.

Irritation setting in once again, Jean got to his feet and stalked away, muttering mutinously under his breath all the while. Yeah, today was definitely a crappy day, he concluded.

Next up: Moblit/Hange (maybe... still waiting for inspiration to strike)
Requests are encouraged! I'm up for writing an accidental kiss between any SnK duo. Or suggest an "accidental kiss" scenario and leave the pairing up to me. I really just want some reader feedback on this to keep it interesting and fun.