Jay, my boy. A silk purse out of a sow's ear. I don't know how you do it. Just between you and me, Twice Removed? Two words: snooze and fest. Your script though, that I can work with.
I've come up with a list of preliminary changes. First, the title. Xan the Man? Really? Anyone but you and I'd have dropped the script then and there. Not even a friggin' clue what the movie's about. Change it. Give it something of a Bondish flavor although maybe not given the massive flop that was the last Bond flick.
Moving on. What kind of a name is Xander? I get that the Pryce fans will kill us if we completely lose the name, but I think we can to better than Xander. I wanted to call him Alec but Sophie started in on the smark aleck jokes. I'm pretty sure she liked the book. So, something short and simple. How about this? Alex Harris.
I've got some issues with your overall structure but let's start with points we aren't going to argue over. Captain of the swim team? Who gives a flying fuck about swimming? Make it football and we're go. Oh, and while we're onto water, that chase scene with the boats is nice but make it a hovercraft. Only give 'em a cool name. Not floaters. What the hell was Georgie thinking, calling them floaters? No wonder his last flick failed. Floaters sounds like a corpse drifting out to sea. …
(v-mail from producer Sam "the Man" Melman to writer Jay Black)