AN: I can't help it. I wanted to update already. SO SUE ME! Sighh…you people give me headaches. Just read the damn story, thanks.

I'm friends with John Lennon's 'girlfriend', so him and his little friend with the weird eyes sit at my table. They both annoy the fuck out of me.

"Caraaaaaaaaaaaa…" someone hisses, and a balled up napkin hits me in the head. I keep my gaze focused on the girl I'm having a conversation with, however, and ignore him.

"CARAAAAAAAAA…" the voice says, this time a bit louder. The balled up paper napkin hits me in the forehead again. I grit my teeth and angle my body away from the end of the table, trying to focus on what I was saying.

"CARA!"

I swallow roughly, my anger mounting. "Like I was saying," I choke out, still regarding my friend. "If Tait REALLY didn't like you, you would have failed. And I'm telling you; a B- is NOT failing in the least bit. In fact, I—"

"CARAAAAAAAA!" Two consecutive paper napkin balls, one to the left eye, the other to my chin.

"WHAT? WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT THAT COULDN'T WAIT FIVE SECONDS FOR ME TO END THE FUCKING CONVERSATION I WAS ALREADY HAVING?"

John stares at me, his expression blank. Next to him, Big Eyes is having a giggle attack.

"I just wanted to say," John begins slowly, measuring out each word carefully, as though he's going to tell me some life-changing news, "hi."

My eyes are burning with icy hatred, my hands shaking with the force of my want to reach out and give him a good smack.

"You," I hiss, "are the most annoying, obnoxious, insufferable human being on the face of the planet!" Around us, our mutual friends are silent. The Cara/John Battles are weekly events, going back all the way to Kindergarten.

He gives me a bashful look, swatting me away with his palm girlishly. "Aww, stop it. You're making me blush!"

Our friends begin to titter and chuckle among themselves, and when I do nothing but glare back at him, they return to their conversations. John looks at me, and for a moment we lock eyes. I am unable to look away, and I hope all the nasty feelings I have toward him are transmitted between us. Maybe they are, because he breaks the connection, looking down at his plate of French fries with that usual blank stare.

"What a loser," I mutter under my breath.

…

Violets are Blue

Roses are Red

I love you so

But you want me dead

AN: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wow…so…I have nothing to say. This is legendary. Seriously, you guys should probably like…I dunno…celebrate in some way. Break a campaign bottle on a boat or something. Wait…what's that even for? I saw it in Shrek or something. Off topic, I know, I know. What I MEANT to say was this: REVIEWWWWWWWWWWW, BITCHES!