I met the first girl a while ago. I met the second girl more recently. They're both beautiful, intelligent, personable, and generally the most wonderful people ever. I don't think I could pick between them. Because of that I'll probably always be where I am now, just an unrequited lover... but I don't want them to know. Because maybe some day I'll make up my mind. Maybe some day I'll choose one and tell them, and I want it to be a surprise, because if they know I love them they'll look at me all the time and try to pick, pick, pick me apart, figure out why I would be an awful boyfriend. So I have to figure out a reason for them to think I'm actively uninterested in them. I found a book at the local Used Books Store called "Pretending to Be Gay For Dummies". It says how to act campy and even has a few chapters on creating a lisp. That's progress. But the best thing that's happened to me lately is that I learned that they both have a common interest-they're fans- and lust for- a local hero, Captain Hammer. The fact that I'm pretending to be gay means that I could start a fanclub for him and claim to share their lust. I did that, and on the one hand it means that I get to spend most of my time with both of my loves. But on the other hand, even though I pretend to love Captain Hammer, inside I felt a seething jealousy for him. I thought that my problems with him would be over when he went out of commission due to injury, but the whole fanbase just shifted to his conqueror, Dr. Horrible. It's made me realize that the only way I'm ever going to win these girl's hearts is by entering this whole heroes and villains game. I've bought a mask, am currently making up a name and idendity, am trying to figure out what I have to buy to get powers and whether to become a hero or a villain. But whatever I become, hero or villain, Dr. Horrible is going down.