Disclaimers: Still not my characters. Goald's is still a fictitious name for a very real condition. There's no particular spoilers. I didn't intend to write this chapter when I started the story, so... yeah, I'm not really sure it's any good, but it was fun, and that's my sole criteria for whether a story was worth writing. I'm again unsure if there will be another chapter or not. I also wrote this chapter on my phone, again, so let me know if there are any really goofy errors. Sometimes the phone cleverly decides to assume I meant something totally different from the word I was actually typing. The characters continue, in my opinion, to step out of character. And juggling all of the team in Gibbs' house, in one story... egads. Don't expect me to do that in the Refuge series anytime soon, no matter how much I want to!
Gibbs gently unfolded and read the note that he'd found taped to his desk when he got to work Monday morning. It was unsigned, but between the handwriting, and the topic, he knew it was from Abby. He'd wondered when she'd be ready to talk to the rest of the team about her diagnosis, but it had only been a few days since that fateful afternoon. He'd intended to wait a couple weeks before encouraging her to talk about it, but apparently he didn't need to bother. She'd asked him to schedule a team meeting at his home Friday night, and to make some time to go over her notes beforehand, in case it was too hard for her to do the job herself. Gibbs read it over once more, to be sure he hadn't missed anything in the short message, before picking up a pen and writing his own, equally simple message on the same page: I'll order pizza for everybody. He tucked it into his jacket pocket to take downstairs in a little bit. Now he had to contact the rest of the team, which, according to her note, included Ducky and Palmer, and request their presence at the meeting. Without mentioning the topic.
It seemed to him to be easier to just sit them all down at work and tell them, but he was determined to make this happen on Abby's terms. She'd been through enough already. Besides, he could envision a long question and answer session, and a lot of anxiety on Abby's part... it was maybe more than they should get into on the clock. So Gibbs opted to send out an email to the team, letting them know that he was scheduling a team meeting after work Friday, and that he'd be providing the pizza and beer. He thought of mentioning it was mandatory, but the simple fact that he'd called a meeting, should be enough for his team to understand that. As soon as he sent it, he started down to Abby's lab to give her his handwritten note. She'd probably read the email before he got downstairs, but he knew those little personal gestures mattered to her, and she could probably use a hug, now that there was no taking back her decision.
Fortunately, the rest of the week was consumed with another case, because even with all the work to be done, Abby was a complete wreck by Friday... so much so that quitting time found her standing by his desk, confessing that she was too nervous to drive safely, and asking him for a ride to his home. The weekend bag at her feet told him that she was doing even worse than she was willing to admit verbally. Gibbs reached out and squeezed her hand gently as he shut down his computer and gathered his things up. He was glad he'd already placed the pizza order a couple days ago, and that he'd stocked up on drinks last night when he'd had a little time.
Once the pair arrived at Gibbs's house, Abby made a beeline for the beer she knew waited in the fridge. Gibbs sat on the couch with her, waiting a few minutes before he spoke.
"You said you have some notes?" Abby nodded in reply, opening her bag and taking out an overstuffed evidence bag. Gibbs laughed aloud when he saw that... of course Abby would use an evidence bag rather than the customary manila envelope. But before he got the chance to make a comment, she'd pulled out her notes, and laid them in his hands.
"They're pretty easy to follow... it's kind of like a speech outline. Subject, predicate, you add the linking words to make it sound good. I want you to read them, though, and let's be sure you understand it all." Gibbs nodded and began doing exactly as she asked, reading through the whole page. She was nothing if not thorough, he mused.
"So what's the rest of that stuff?" he asked, when he was done, wordlessly suggesting that the notes were just fine with him.
"I, um, I made some copies of an article from the National Institutes of Health, about the variety of Goald's that I have. I figured Ducky would want it, and maybe McGee... there's a lot of words to google later, if they want. Stuff like that. And there's some copies of a flyer from the Goald's Syndrome National Foundation, that give a less technical overview. My brother got a bunch of them to pass out to friends and family, when they got the diagnosis, to help with explaining. I figured we could pretty much spring it on them, and then pass it out when I'm done taking... or you... whatever. If I hand them out earlier, McGee won't hear a word of anything, he'll be too busy reading and looking stuff up." Gibbs chuckled at that. Yeah, that sounded like McGee.
Once he'd gone over the notes again, Gibbs decided that Abby had spent enough time worrying about what was to come. Instead, he set the bag of papers aside, and leaned back into the sofa, pulling her against him to rest. She was still stressed, of course, but he knew she was calmed by closeness to others. And the beer probably helped some, too. They didn't move until Tony and Ziva let themselves in a few minutes later, a pizza delivery person in tow. Gibbs stood up to pay the bill, while Abby took the opportunity to carry her bag upstairs. When she came back down with Luna in her arms, everyone else had arrived, too, and they were just starting to get into the food. Gibbs watched Abby for a moment before quietly putting a plate together for her and tucking it into the microwave for safekeeping. She'd eat after the meeting part was done, mostly because he was going to make her eat.
When everyone had taken their food and drink to the living room, and settled down, Gibbs got out the bag of papers, and took his own seat in the room, sitting in the small armchair near the television set. Abby sat on the floor in front of him, tucking herself between his feet.
"Do you feel up to this?" he asked her quietly, as he glanced around the room. McGee had taken over the floor in front of the fireplace, while Tony, Ziva, and Ducky took up most of the couch. Palmer had settled in front of his mentor, resting his back on the arm of the sofa. Gibbs was glad to see that... he hadn't been too sure the pair would work out early on, but the kid had ended up growing on them all, and Ducky had worked to become the leader the younger man needed him to be.
In reply to Gibbs's question, Abby simply took the packet of papers from his hand, rummaged through them, and handed the outline back. He couldn't say he was shocked by that, but it still hurt him to see her so wound up, especially about something that didn't seem like a big deal. But then, after all he'd been through, Goald's wasn't such a big deal. Abby, though... this thing touched on the biggest fears and insecurities her injured heart had to offer. To her, it probably did feel like the end of the world. Gibbs took the outline from her, and nudged her with his feet, encouraging her to scoot forward. Once she did, Gibbs slid out of the chair and onto the floor, wrapping one arm around her and Luna while the other held the notes out so he could follow them. Taking a deep breath, he plunged in.
"I called this meeting because Abby's had something happen. It's not entirely horrible, but it needs to be dealt with. She's not feeling up to talking about it, so I'm doing it for her." With the introduction done, Gibbs launched into Abby's notes on Goald's. One by one, he shared the points she'd listed, a mix of clinical information, her own signs and symptoms, and Abby's fears and things she wanted to share with her friends. He hadn't noticed when he was going through the notes the first time, but now that he was saying them all aloud, it was painfully obvious how afraid Abby was. The single biggest section of her notes had to do with the uncertain nature, how much she was already faking it to get through some days, not knowing if she'd need adaptive equipment in the future, or what life changes that would bring. She wasn't even sure she'd be able to keep her job, despite his attempts last week to reassure her about keeping the building accessible to her ever-evolving needs.
Gibbs had known she was frightened, of course; they'd talked about it a lot in the past week or so since Abby had first shared with him about Goald's. But in the short time he'd been walking this road with his young friend, he hadn't even realized that she was already struggling to get through the day sometimes. And he really hadn't grasped the realistic, rational nature of her fears until he was charged with the task of voicing those fears for her. It wasn't a shock to feel the tears falling on his arm as he continued working his way through Abby's notes, but it nearly derailed him when the first tear slid down his own cheek, too. Gibbs took that as his cue to rush through the last few things Abby wanted to share with her family, before he set the paper down and wrapped his arms fully around her, resting his chin on her head. He desperately wanted to hide his weakness, his own fear and pain that had been stirred up, but he knew Abby needed two things right now, answers, and honesty. Gibbs couldn't give her the answers she sought, but he'd spent years teaching them to allow emotion to come, when they had time to deal with it all. It was time to take his own advice.
After a moment of gazing blankly ahead and letting tears fall, Gibbs looked around the room, seeing his odd little family in varying stages of shock. To his surprise, Tony and Ziva both had a couple tear streaks on their faces, though both were trying to hide it. But nobody had made a move yet. Gibbs wordlessly reached out towards the sofa, beckoning. It was all the invitation his team needed. Gibbs found himself and Abby immediately surrounded by the group, all leaning on her as if willing their own strength to flow into their young friend's body and soul. Even Ducky gave up his chair to get down onto the floor, at great cost to his aging joints, and lay his hand on Abby's head, absently twirling her pigtail as their team, their family, simply spent time comforting its youngest member. Gibbs knew there would be questions to answer, and problems to solve, but first it was evident that everyone else needed to absorb the news, and Abby needed to soak up their love and support.
Sure enough, after five, ten minutes... he wasn't sure anymore... Abby sat up a little more, having regained some strength.
"I'm hungry now," she said quietly, breaking the dead silence, as Tony and Ziva both scrambled to their feet, set on providing for Abby's needs right now.
"Her plate's in the microwave," Gibbs said helpfully. "Might have cooled off a bit." He watched the pair as they went into the kitchen to take care of things. If the team could just pull together like this every day, and not just right now as a reaction to the sudden shock, he mused... if they could just learn these habits, this thing would be so much easier. It might even be a good experience for the team to go through, in its own way.
Gibbs continued to observe the gentle flurry of activity when Tony brought Abby a drink, as the others backed away just enough to give her room to breathe, and a little more space as Ziva placed a plate on the rug before their friend. The fears and questions were swirling in his mind, of course. Would he need to start writing checks, would she even tell him about her medical needs, or would he need to encroach on her independence and go to doctor appointments with her, in order to be sure it was all taken care of? Would they need to tell the director, how long does it take to redesign a forensics labs anyway... would an assistant help, if he could even get her to accept one? Letting the team to pull together and take care of its own was a good thing, he knew, but they couldn't operate a man down indefinitely, to leave one of them to assist her. Palmer might be able to step up and split his time, but his love was really in his work with Ducky, and he was needed there. That would only be a stopgap solution. And would any of this even be an issue, or would she even allow anybody to help her? Gibbs had read enough online to know that when you live with a lifelong condition, it can become habit to reject assistance and run yourself into the ground trying to do everything you think that "normal" people ought to do. Gibbs' thoughts were interrupted, though, when Abby paused between bites, peering around the room quizzically.
"Somebody say something," she commanded. The silence persisted until McGee finally opened his mouth, three times, and spoke up.
"What's the rest of the stuff in your bag of papers?" he asked. Oh yeah. The papers. Gibbs picked up the bag again, and started handing things out, since Abby had her dinner all over her hands.
"This is some information," Abby helpfully explained as he passed out papers, which the team immediately started flipping through. "The big stapled packet is what the National Institute of Health knows about Goald's, as of about three months ago. The folded brochure is a brief, non-technical explanation of Goald's, meant for the friends and family members of Goald's patients. I figured you'd probably want to read more, so... that's about the best information there is. If you want to hear more from people who live with it, I can show you some web forums, or you can google." McGee nodded at that.
"Yeah, actually... Abby, would you mind if I got my computer and looked some of this up right now?"
"I knew you would," Abby answered with a grin. Gibbs watched as he started looking things up, and Ducky came around to read over his shoulder. Now that somebody had broken the spell, Ziva took out her own laptop and began to read, as well, with Tony and Palmer looking on. Gibbs hadn't been too sure when he let the "kids" order cable internet service, and install those two boxes in the coat closet. But watching them now, he was glad he'd said yes. The group spent nearly an hour reading about Goald's, trading different bits of information as they studied the two computers. McGee, ever the compassionate one, had gone straight for patient stories, while Ziva was focused on the facts. Between the two of them, they provided a pretty good crash course for the group. After a while, predictably, Tony began to fidget. Gibbs smiled inwardly at that. The younger man's tendency to remind Gibbs of himself was the driving reason that he worked so hard to "raise" Tony to outgrow that impatience and spontaneity before he got himself into trouble. This night, however, Gibbs allowed Tony's inattention to unfold naturally, and sure enough, the boy got up and pulled a movie out of the bag he'd tossed by the door on his way into the room.
"When McGeek is done, can we watch a movie?" Abby looked up at the DVD he was holding up, and lit up at the sight.
"Ooh! Princess Bride, my favourite!" Without bothering to wait for everybody to finish reading, she took the disc and dropped it into the player. Gibbs hadn't been any more sure about the new TV and movie player than he was about getting internet access, but tonight, he was thankful that he'd let Tony talk him into it. He stood up from the floor, hoping Abby's excited chatter covered over the creaking and popping in his knees, and then he re-settled on the couch, arms out, waiting to see who would join him. He wasn't surprised when Abby pounced on him as soon as she'd hit play, but he was a little shocked when Tony curled up on his other side. He'd known that the two were like brother and sister, and he knew that this news would hit Tony a little rough, but the younger man wasn't one to let his team see his tender side. Hell, he didn't even let most of his dates see his tender side. Tony had always reserved that for Abby, and yet, here he was, dropping the mask and being genuinely caring, right there in front of God and everybody. Gibbs' fascination turned to annoyance when he realized that Tony and Abby were, in fact, going to recite the entire movie along with the DVD.
Fortunately for Gibbs, the team had been run ragged all week, and before long, Ducky had taken his leave, and Palmer had followed suit shortly after. McGee's laughter turned to light snoring, sprawled in front of the TV. Ziva had turned in her place on the floor at Abby's feet, to curl up and rest her head next to the Goth's little feet, tucked up on the sofa. Even Tony had fallen quiet. Gibbs took that as his cue to disentangle from the sofa, waking everyone in the process.
"I'm going to bed," he said simply. "DiNozzo, McGee, I expect you'll leave the bedroom to the ladies. Spare pillows and sleeping bags are in the linen closet." With that, he kissed Abby's forehead and made his way upstairs. He hadn't gotten to ask the questions about what Abby needed, he mused as he got ready for bed. But as he rehashed the information that the team had found online, he realized that the most important thing was for the team to encourage Abby to go easier on her body when she needed to, and to teach her that adapting to her body's needs wasn't the weakness she feared, but that it is the very definition of strength and determination. Regrowing her sense of strength and self-sufficience was maybe the most important thing her family could give her, Gibbs realized suddenly. Everything else was just details.