December:
I was never going to make it in time. It didn't matter how early I left, something always held me up. Staring out the window I willed the car to go faster, annoying the driver to no end as I continued to ask how much longer before we were there. Biting my nails, I tried to keep from tapping my foot, which seemed to shake the whole cab.
"Thanks, keep the change." Tossing him a bill, I slammed the door as I bypassed the long line of people waiting to check their bags. Pulling my backpack off I got out my ticket and boarding pass which I had printed the night before, knowing how today would go. Waiting in line seemed to take forever and I swore I could hear the seconds ticking by.
When I finally made it to my terminal I had minutes to spare. Looking at my ticket for the first time I realized my parents had sprung for first class. It was already too much that they bought me a plane ticket as a graduation present; they didn't need to spend more for a slightly larger seat.
Boarding group A was already lined up and I'd missed my section. Slipping in front of an older couple I handed the woman my ticket and walked down the jet way, wringing my hands tightly around the straps of my bag. I loved to fly, but for some reason, the walk there always got my nerves going.
There were only two people in front of me and they quickly moved to the side to let me pass as they fiddled with the stroller they were pushing. Most likely they would be in front of me. It never mattered when I got on the plane, somehow the family with the screaming child always managed to find me and sit directly behind me.
When I got to my row and looked at my seat, it was occupied. My breath caught in my throat when I saw who was sitting there. It couldn't be. He was famous. There was no way he just hopped on a regular flight like he was Joe from down the street. My eyes must have been wrong. Besides, he probably had his own private jet after all the films he had done.
Clearing my throat I took a step closer, trying to get his attention.
"I'm so sorry to bother you, it's just that--" before I could finish he cut me off, and as he did, I realized I had been right. It was him.
"Not a problem, who would you like me to make it out to--" reaching out, he took my ticket from my hand as he pulled a pen from his pocket. Turning the small slip of white paper over in his hand he looked at the front, scanning the words for my name. "Isabella?"
"It's just Bella, but no." My cheeks ignited when I realized what he thought I wanted. "Actually, you're sitting in my seat."
"Oh." In response, his face flushed, too, as he stood and let me pass him. "I'm sorry, I just assumed."
"Don't worry about it." Shaking my head I tried not to look at him, knowing my knees would start to get weak and the word vomit would start to come up.
Turning to stare out the window, I watched while the rest of the plane filled up. After a few more minutes the plane taxied out to the runway and took off. The flight was only a few hours but it would seem much longer. More than anything, I wanted to turn to him, to stare into his deep green eyes, watch him run his fingers through his tousled bronze hair, but I didn't. Keeping my eyes glued to the window, I watched as the towns passed by under us before they were blurred out by the clouds.
Suddenly the plane hit a rough patch of air, which jostled it up and down violently. Without thinking, I slammed my hands down on the armrests, gripping them tightly. My right hand hit the cold plastic, but my left hit something else. It was cool and soft, human skin. Instantly I pulled my hand away as I turned to face him.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't realize your hand was there."
"It's okay," he smiled before laughing softly. The sound caused my heart to skip a beat. "Nervous flyer?"
"Not normally, but turbulence does that to me." I bit my lip as I worried I was making an idiot out of myself. My brain told me to stop there, to turn away, but my lips weren't done moving. "I'm Bella, oh wait, I already told you that, sorry."
He laughed slightly, showing his perfect, white teeth. "Hello, Bella. Nice to officially meet you." He reached out to shake my hand, which was shaking slightly. "I'm Edward."
"I know," my cheeks burned and I wished I could find a way to hide them.
"Um, I really am sorry about earlier. It was rude of me to assume that."
"Really, it's okay. Honestly, I'd love an autograph, but I'd never ask for one."
"Why?" Confusion filled his perfectly emerald eyes and my heart stuttered.
"Well, we're on a plane. It isn't like you're at some signing, or even out on the street. I mean, that would be rude, just to ask for something when you're probably on vacation."
"It probably would be rude, but that doesn't stop people from doing it."
"I never understood that. Just because you're famous and people know things about you, they feel like they know you and that somehow makes it okay to just go up to you and ask for things as though you owe them something. And I'm rambling. Sorry, you're probably trying to enjoy a nice quite flight, and here I am, talking your ear off."
"Actually, it's refreshing to be able to have a normal conversation."
"I wasn't aware that topic was normal." My laugh came out slightly shaky but I hoped he wouldn't notice.
"So what takes you to London?" He turned his body so it was slightly angled towards me, a motion most wouldn't have noticed, but one that was screaming at me.
"Graduation," his thick eyebrows rose as he looked me over, "from college."
"I was going to say, you don't look that young. I mean, you look young, but not eighteen, well what I mean is--" he was fumbling like crazy, causing my body to ache in ways I wouldn't have expected.
"Oh really? So you're saying I look what, 109?" We both laughed, and I noticed how the sunlight reflected off his perfect skin, almost causing it to sparkle. "I've always wanted to go to Europe, so I'm doing the typical backpacking trip. My parents bought me the ticket there as a gift, and I don't have to be home for a month, though I doubt I'll stay that long."
"Why not?"
"Well there is this little thing called money. I'm sure you have plenty of it, but I'm a little low on funds. I quit my job yesterday, took the security deposit from my apartment, and cleared out my savings account."
"Wow. You must really want to take this trip."
"It's been my dream since I can remember. Everything about Europe fascinates me; I just can't get enough of it."
We both fell quiet as I pinched the skin on the back of my hand. I wasn't sure what to say. Would it be rude if I asked him questions? Was I even allowed to do that? He had said he liked having normal conversation, so I figured that meant he was open to just that.
"And what are you going to London for?"
"I've got to get some, err, family things."
"You don't want to talk about it, do you?" From the pain on his face I could instantly tell this wasn't the way he wanted the conversation to go.
"No not really."
"That's okay, so, umm, what would you like to talk about?"
"Tell me more about you."
"I'm afraid that won't be a very stimulating conversation. My life is dull."
"I'm sure you underestimate yourself." One side of his mouth rose up slightly higher than the other and I was putty in his fingers.
"My parents divorced when I was a kid, my mom and I lived in Phoenix, but when I was seventeen I moved to a small town called Forks to live with my dad. At the time I didn't think it would be so bad; I mean, he was the police chief so he wasn't around much, and I felt bad when my mom stayed home with me."
"Why? I mean, she's your mother, wouldn't she have liked that?"
"She would have, but she remarried a guy name Phil who played baseball in the minor leagues, which meant he traveled a lot, and I knew she wanted to be with him, so I went to live with my dad so she could. So there was high school, it was boring, and it rained almost everyday, even when I swore it was too cold to rain. After a while I couldn't take it anymore, and I when I graduated high school I just had to get out of there."
"That bad, huh?"
"That bad. There was just nothing there, nothing to hold me or keep me."
"No boyfriend?"
"There was, but honestly it just wasn't anything special. I mean, I loved him, but not in that way. I felt bad, really, and I can't believe I'm telling you all this. See, I told you my life was boring."
"Actually, I find it quite fascinating."
"You really are a very good actor." I couldn't help but smile, it felt so natural when he looked at me through his thick black lashes.
"So after you broke this poor boys heart--"
"I didn't break his heart. Okay, maybe I did, but Jake and I are still friends, always will be. But after I left, I moved in with my mom who was living in Jacksonville, Florida. She had this cute little house, and I stayed with her for my first two years of college. On my twentieth birthday I moved out, got a house just off campus with my friends Alice and Rose. It was nice, but not very conducive to studying, so I dropped out. I got a full time job and took a year off, you know, worked on finding myself and all that other bullshit. After awhile I realized what I wanted, and I went back. So I finished school and six years after I graduated from high school, I finally got my four year degree. And that's pretty much it, like I said, boring."
"You really don't see yourself very well."
"Oh I see myself perfectly fine. My typical life, my typical friends, my typical self. This trip is the most adventurous thing I've ever done, and honestly it has me sweating bullets. I mean, I don't have much money, any set plan, or even a place to stay, I'm just winging it. But it is what I wanted to do, and once I decided I was going to, there was no turning back."
"So you're one of those types, then?"
"Not really, I mean, I guess. I just feel like when you make a decision you should stick with it. Obviously that sounds hypocritical coming from the girl who dropped out of college, but once I make a choice, I go with it. I may spend too much time analyzing the options, but when I've made my choice, I'm content with it and move on." His features contorted slightly as though what I was saying made no sense. "What?"
"Nothing, it's just, you aren't what you seem. I'm usually pretty good at reading people, but you just keep surprising me."
"Really? I've always felt the opposite. I'm a horrible liar, and most times I feel like my whole self is plastered across my forehead." Fidgeting slightly, I pulled my knees up to my chest, wondering where this conversation would go. I'd already told him my life story in a matter of minutes, what other dreadful ways was I destined to embarrass myself? "So, is this the part of the conversation where we stop talking about me?"
"You really don't like talking about yourself, do you?"
"I don't mind really, I just don't see how it can compare to your life."
"Well it doesn't. It is much better than mine," he laughed, but sounded sincere, and I wondered if this was some form of humor I was unfamiliar with.
"Funny."
"No really. I'd give just about anything to have a normal life. Go off to college, get a place with my friends, do anything I wanted to, even jet off to London to spend the summer doing anything, or nothing at all. My life isn't what everyone makes it out to be; in all honesty it is boring."
"I don't believe that."
"That's because you believe a lie. The papers all make me out to be this hard partying, reckless, ladies man, when in reality, I only go out about one night a month. Most of the time I'm too busy or too scared to leave my apartment."
"Too scared? Of thousands of screaming twelve year-olds?"
"Of being stabbed or mauled. Either one. Honestly, I'm a bit crazy, I guess."
"A bit." I hoped the sarcasm was thick in my words and he wouldn't take me seriously. "I can't even image what that must be like. But if you're so scared of paparazzi and fans, why aren't you taking a private jet or something? Why fly with all of us crazies?"
"So you're categorizing yourself in with said crazies, are you?"
"Well, I wouldn't jump you on the street, but I am a fan of your work." I hoped I wasn't really in with the obsessive fans; I mean, I had seen his movies a few times, even owned some of them. But that is where I drew the line; it wasn't as though I had underwear with his name on them or anything.
"Well, thank you, but the reason is that I'm really not all that big in London. Maybe it is because of my family history there, or the fact that I'm just another American actor, but they don't react to me the same way. It is refreshing really. I can just walk the streets and not have to worry about the fact that I'm wearing the same shirt as the day before and I haven't washed my hair."
"I didn't know your family was from England."
"They aren't, not my parents, anyway." He seemed pleasantly surprised at my lack of knowledge about his personal life, as though every person he'd met before knew more about him than he himself did. "My mother's parents were which is why I'm going there now, a visit of sorts."
"Sounds nice. I wish I had family there, it would give me more reasons to go."
Just then the stewardess came by with the food cart, handing us our meals and offering each of us a glass of wine. Once we were done eating a movie was turned on, pillows and blankets were handed out, and most of the passengers around us closed the blinds on their windows and tucked in to get some sleep. Instead of following suit, we sat up for the rest of the flight. He told me all about his mother and father and what it was like to grow up in a small town where everyone knew each other. Once he felt he'd talked long enough, though it was only an hour, he turned the conversation back on me, asking me every single question he could think of. We talked about typical high school things like prom and graduation, both of which I only went to to appease my father and Jake.
I never realized just how much some people miss out on. He'd dropped out of school after the sixth grade in order to focus on his career. Being home schooled sounded amazing to me, but he assured me that it did nothing but hinder his ability to interact with others. Every word that came out of his mouth about himself seemed too critical, so degrading, as though he felt he were some kind of monster. No matter what I said, I couldn't seem to sway his opinion on himself.
Even though I was starting to get tired I wouldn't let myself sleep. This was a once in a lifetime chance, something I wouldn't let pass me by. It wasn't just that he was famous, a household name, it was something else. There was something I felt every time his eyes met mine or his smile leaned to one side. I was sitting, yet I could still feel my knees getting weak. Something more than butterflies swarmed in my stomach; bats, maybe.
It was also the way he made me feel comfortable, so comfortable that I would say anything, tell him everything, even things I'd never told anyone before. I trusted him more than I'd ever trusted anyone before and I didn't even know him. The thought was crazy, and it scared the hell out of me, but it was true. Maybe it was because I knew I'd never see him again, so it didn't matter what I told him. Then again, maybe it was in some desperate hope that if we knew each other, we'd be connected, some how, some way. Deep down I hoped it was the first, for my sanity, and for my heart.
Since I took my first step, I was virtually on my own. I was an adult in a child's body; too mature and independent for anyone or anything. Relationships never meant much to me because I didn't need them. It wasn't to say I wasn't a good friend, I liked to think I was, and had always been told I was, it was just that I didn't need anyone else. It was so easy for me to be perfectly content spending time alone or doing things for myself and by myself, but something in me felt changed in that minute. There was this sudden desire for him, as though part of me longed to be with him, always. Not even that it wanted to be, but that it had to be.
Suddenly I felt very self conscious about myself, the way I looked, the fact that I was wearing ratty old jeans and a plain over-sized grey shirt. I tried to pull the hair tie out of my ponytail without him noticing. Making an effort to have it look natural, I ran my fingers through my hair, combing them out as it fell down around my face in soft, brown waves.
"You have the most beautiful brown eyes," leaning forward he stared into them, causing the hairs on my neck to stand on end.
"Um, thank you," the whisper barely came out, embarrassing me ever more.
"You said you don't have a place to stay, right?"
"At this point, I've got nothing."
"Well here," pulling the magazine from the seat back in front of him, he ripped off a piece or semi-blank paper and wrote something down. "This place is perfect for you."
"Thanks, but I don't have much cash, either." Taking it, I reveled in the warm feeling his fingers had left on the edges.
"Don't worry, it's practically free." I could have sworn I saw him wink, but brushed it off.
"Thank you, really."
"You're very welcome."
Just then the announcement was made telling of our descent into London, the local time – which went in one ear and out the other – and thanking us for flying. When the plane landed I reached down for my backpack, the only item that would accompany me for the next week, or month, however long I ended up staying. As we stood up to leave, Edward turned around and smiled at me, causing me to almost lose my balance.
"It was really nice to meet you, Bella."
"Yeah, you, too." Reaching out I shook his hand which was soft and cool. My fingers grazed smoothly against his skin, lingering longer than was probably polite.
In a flash he was gone, and my lips were moving, trying to say more, but it was too late. Exiting the plane was odd. It felt as though I were in a daze, surrounded by a cloudy mist that I couldn't see through. Shaking my head I tried to see through it, tried to regain control of my mind and my limbs, but it was pointless.
I was struck, smitten, dazed. I was fully intoxicated by the being that was Edward Cullen. I was a victim who didn't want to fight back. I was totally and utterly dazzled.
*****
A/N
Thanks as always to all of you who have read, reviewed, hated it, loved it, talked about it, ignored it, basically anything that involved this story.
To my Beta, thanks for Christmas dinner, and that full length mirror. Now I can leave the house not looking like a mess.
Sorry this update took so long. This is the busiest time of the year at work. Chapter 3 may be a little late, because I'm hoping to finish AoF before adding anymore to this one.