Title: You're My Hill to Die On (Cowards Sequel) Part 2 of 7
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Nick/Greg Slash
Word Count: ~5200
Warning: Sexual Content, mentions of Violence and NonCon, Mean people
Disclaimer: This story is complete fiction. They don't belong to me - I just play with them a little.
Summary: After everything they worked through to finally be together - will a visit to Nick's childhood home be the one thing they can't overcome?
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Greg would be lying if he said he wasn't scared as hell. He had been dreading this day for weeks. Not only was he going to be spending days with Nick's parents, meeting all of his siblings - well all but one - and probably introduced to many of the people outside of the immediate family who had shaped Nick Stokes...but he was going to be sleeping in the house where his rapist had been raised.
It was all he could do to keep himself from throwing up since the moment he agreed to come.
But it's not like he could just say no to Nick's mom. That would be...just...wrong. He also couldn't let Nick know how his stomach had been on fire from stress just thinking about this week.
Now that they were actually there...he really just wanted to throw up and get it over with.
"You okay?" He heard Nick say from the driver's seat.
Greg was staring wide-eyed at the giant house. "Of course." He tore his gaze away from the columned front porch to look at his boyfriend. "Are you?"
"I'm nervous." Nick admitted.
Greg reached for Nick's hand and was once again stung when his boyfriend abruptly pulled away. He really needed the reassurance that only Nick could give. Greg retracted obediently instead. "Don't be nervous, Nick. We're in this together."
Nick took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah. I guess we should get this show on the road, then. You ready?"
"Ready." Greg tried to smile reassuringly.
Nick threw the car into park and shut down the engine. "You think we should just say hello before we haul in our luggage?"
"What do you usually do?"
"Haul my crap in when I arrive." Nick said.
Greg smirked. "So why would this be any different?"
That seemed to calm Nick a bit. "I have no fucking idea. I'm being crazy, huh?"
"Just a little." Greg smiled.
Nick leaned in a little. "I'm sorry."
"I know." Greg soothed.
Nick opened the front door and walked into instant nostalgia. "Momma? Dad?"
"Kitchen!"
Greg could hear the excitement in her tone. It was all still so weird and disjointed. He was in the home of the parents of the man who brutally raped him less the a year earlier. These same people are the parents of his lover. His lover - the twin of his worst nightmare - stood next to him in the foyer looking like a little kid hoping his mommy would watch him jump into the pool for the first time.
It was a lot of pressure. Greg was surprised that he hadn't cracked on the edges already - but he knew how important this was to Nick. His lover had waited his whole life for this moment - a moment he thought he would never have. Nick was bringing someone he loves - the man he loves - home. It was akin to a wedding in a way.
Of course, a wedding wouldn't normally involved the family my rapist.
Sometimes there was a war raging in Greg's mind and heart. He didn't want to think about it anymore, but it's never really completely gone. He never talked to Nick about it because he thought that would be unfair. He made the choice - he knew it would be complicated and hard - but he loved Nick Stokes. He had loved Nick Stokes for so long and he wanted to have everything with him. Nick had his own demons to slay, Greg wasn't about to burden him with more.
So he never did. Not one word - in almost a year. And it was working just fine until they started preparing for the holiday adventure at Casa de Stokes. The nightmares had become more frequent and exponentially more terrifying and Greg was grateful that Nick was such a sound sleeper - so he didn't have to explain.
"Oh, boys!" Jillian's sweet voice sang from the hallway leading from the kitchen. "I'm so happy you're finally here."
She enveloped Nick in a motherly embrace and Greg could see by the look on his face that he was feeling the kind of happy he had never really felt before - love and acceptance from his mother. Greg's throat became tight with the emotion he felt from seeing it, and he told himself it was all worth it to be witness to this moment.
After a moment or two, Jillian released her son and turned toward Greg. Her dark eyes were brimming in the same way Nick's always do when he is feeling overwhelmingly emotional. She reached for Greg and pulled him by the shoulders into her arms. He could feel the heat of her breath against his face as she spoke. "I'm so happy you're here. Greg."
She sounded like she meant it, which caused Greg's own eyes to well-up a bit. If he could spend a week with Nick and his mother and no one else he would be the happiest man in the world.
"Hello, Son." The deep voice of Bill stokes broke the spell as he entered the room.
Greg would have to save the happiest-man-in-the-world-feeling for another trip.
Jillian pulled away at the sound of her husband's voice. She paused - her hands framed Greg's face, her thumb gently and deliberately brushing against the jagged scar on his face. "Thank you for coming, Greg."
He didn't know how to respond to that so he just said, "It's good to see you again, Jillian."
"Good boy." She smiled kindly and squeezed his cheeks affectionately before letting him go. "I've finally succeeded in my training. That sounds so much better than Mrs. Stokes!"
"Good to see that you boys made it in okay." Bill struggled for conversation.
Nick was suddenly nervous again. "The flight was great and there was no line at the car rental counter, so we made good time."
Bill nodded. "Good." He hugged Nick awkwardly before turning to Greg. Jillian still had one arm around his slim waist.
"Greg." Bill nodded politely. "Jill and I are pleased that you could join Nick this year."
"Thank you, sir." Greg's stomach was churning with nervous acid.
"No sir here, Greg." Bill tried to sound naturally friendly. "You can call me Bill."
Greg had spent many hours on the phone with Jillian since her other son had confessed to his crimes. She had also spent a week with at Nick's home a couple of times since Greg had practically moved in. He felt comfortable with her. But this was the first time he had seen Bill Stokes since the morning he had walked into Nick's living room looking freshly fucked and ready to go for round fourteen.
He would be lying if he said he wasn't feeling just as awkward standing in the foyer of the Stoke's family home shaking the hand of the man who fathered both good and evil. "Thank you for inviting me to your home, Mr..."
"Bill." He interrupted. "Please call me Bill."
"Bill." Greg hoped he wouldn't say or do anything stupid around this man in the next few days. "Thank you, Bill."
"Nonsense." Bill seemed to bristle. "No reason to thank Jill and I. All of our children's spouses...partners...are welcome."
"It's been so long since Nicky's brought anyone home." Jill seemed to be thrilled about it. "Not since...when was it, Honey?" She looked toward her son.
"A long time before I moved to Vegas!" Nick's smile reached his eyes and it looked beautiful.
"Oh yes, but not that long before your move." Jill agreed while seemingly in deep thought. "I think it may have been the last time you brought MaryEllen. When was that? Easter?" Jill laughed at her memories. "By Christmas time that year you were in Las Vegas and MaryEllen was engaged to..."
The tension was sudden and painful. Jill looked from Nick to Greg before she spoke again. "Oh, dear."
"It's okay, Jill." Greg reassured her despite the taste of bile rising in his throat. "Please don't feel bad. He's your son. He's a huge part of your family and all of the memories you share. Holidays are all about memories and I don't want to get in the way of that. Please..."
"Of course, Sweet Child."
Greg was sure that he loved the woman. She was such a kind soul. Nothing like the monster he had once thought her to be. He prayed that the next few days didn't ruin what they had built throughout the previous year.
Bill cleared his throat. "Jilly, why don't you show the boys to their room. We're taking you boys out for steaks tonight. So take a little time to freshen up."
They stood by the door looking at the childhood room Nick had shared with his twin. It was like a giant time capsule. Walls full of awards and trophies and rows of pennants from championship games. There were two small desks and two small dressers and two twin beds separated by a three drawer nightstand.
Jill looked at the beds and wrinkled her brow. She obviously hadn't thought it all through until just then. "You can push those together..."
"That won't be necessary Momma." Nick interrupted her and was obviously uncomfortable. "This arrangement is just fine for us."
"Okay, I'll just leave you two to get settled. There are fresh towels in the bathroom." She squeezed both men on the shoulder and closed the door behind her as she left.
Nick crossed to the bed closest to the window and flopped himself onto it. "This is weird. Usually the kids sleep in here. I haven't been in this room in years."
"What did your mom mean about MaryEllen?" Greg asked without any warning. It had been bugging he since the moment she said it.
Nick looked up at his boyfriend and to Greg's surprise, he looked pissed. "Don't start."
Or maybe it was guilt. The sudden edge was definitely reminiscent of a guilty Nick Stokes.
"I'm not starting anything, I just asked a question." Greg tried not to sound as insecure as he felt. "And I expect an answer, Nicky."
Nick sighed dramatically. "God, Greg. What the hell do you think she meant?"
"You never mentioned that you dated your twin's wife." Greg didn't waste time trying to force Nick to say it.
"That's how they met." Nick tried to blow it off. "No biggie."
"She picked him over you?" Greg asked.
Nick shrugged. "They hooked up after I broke it off with her."
"You broke it off?" Greg could tell that Nick was still keeping something from him. "How long did you date her?"
"A while." Nick squirmed. "Can we not talk about it right now?"
Greg swallowed hard. "Were you...did you and MaryEllen...were you engaged?"
He wasn't sure what made him ask, but suddenly it all clicked together in his mind and he just needed confirmation.
"It was a long time ago, G." Nick explained.
"Yeah." Greg grabbed his grooming kit. It wasn't that long ago. "I'm taking a shower."
Nick waited until his lover had closed the bathroom door before he flung himself backward onto the small mattress. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He wasn't really sure why he never mentioned it. I should have mentioned it. Damn it! It had been a point of contention within the family in the past. They loved MaryEllen and when Nick had broken off their engagement, he was in the dog house all the way around. He tried - he really did. MaryEllen was sweet and soft and all things feminine. Momma always said she would make pretty babies and they had all expected Nick to produce many of them. With MaryEllen.
The problem was that no matter how hard he tried - he wasn't in love with her. He loved her - sure - but there was no spark. No magic. No chemistry. Sex with MaryEllen was always put tab A into slot B and nothing more. She was so conservative and prudent that oral sex - or any sex that wasn't vanilla and missionary was out of the question. It wasn't all about sex though - it never had been with Nick - but the thought of spending eternity with someone to whom he felt more like a brother than a partner was just not something he could do.
So he broke it off. MaryEllen said he also broke her heart.
It didn't take long for his brother to put it back together.
Then the awkwardness ensured. Nate couldn't seem to get over the fact that his look-alike brother had been with his wife. Nick will never forget the words Nate whispered in his ear as he congratulated his brother on his wedding day with a brotherly embrace.
"I'm happy for you bro." Nick said as he pulled his twin into his arms.
Nate pulled him closer and gripped his neck in the bend of his arm aggressively. "Never let me catch you even looking at her the wrong way. She's mine now."
"Chill, Nate." Nick tried to pull away but his brother wouldn't let him. "If I wanted her, I would be the one marrying her."
"She wouldn't have married you." Nate seethed. "She said you were a fucking corpse in bed."
"She wouldn't say something like that." Nick knew the woman well. She would never be so...crass...even with her partner.
"She didn't have to." Nate tightened the flesh-and-bone vice around Nick's neck. "Stay the fuck away from her."
The next few big family functions were uncomfortable. MaryEllen wouldn't even make eye contact and Nate's unwarranted hostility toward him put everyone on edge. It seemed that it was easier to blame the whole thing on Nick. They were all still a little upset about the break up. All of that disappointment seemed to spill easily into blaming him universally for all of the tension in the family.
It all just made it easier to finally make the move he had been thinking about for well over a year. Everyone seemed relieved when he made the announcement.
So he moved and started his new life and everything had settled into place until a year later when he shook the hand of the newest DNA analyst. He was suddenly reminded of why it never happened with MaryEllen. Or any other woman he tried to connect with for that matter.
Which reminded him of why he and Nate never got along. Long before his brother married his ex-fiance. And it was this that kept Nick firmly planted in the weeds of his own fear and denial.
Until his best friend died and forced NIck to take a close look at what really mattered.
And the man currently showering in his childhood bathroom was what really mattered.
Which brought him full circle to what had started the walk down memory lane to begin with. I should have told him. Why is this trip messing me up so bad?
He was pulled from his train of thought by the sound of the bathroom door opening. Greg walked out, along with a billowing cloud of steam - wearing only a towel.
The sight of it made Nick hard. This is chemistry. "Greg, can you give me a chance to explain?"
"You should probably grab a quick shower so we don't keep your parents waiting." Greg spoke as he dug through his suitcase to find underwear. Once he found them - Spiderman, Nick's favorite - he carefully slid them on without moving his towel.
It stung to see Greg so uncomfortable in his own skin. Greg had always seemed so comfortable naked, even after Nate...
Nick closed his eyes and swallowed hard. He couldn't even think about it right now. He decided now wasn't the time to get into it, so he stood and made his way into the steamy bathroom. As he passed his obviously offended lover and stopped and tried to make eye contact.
Greg wouldn't look at him.
"I'm sorry I never told you. It didn't seem important." Nick tried.
"I get it." Greg hissed. "Go." He pointed to the bathroom before turning to find something to wear to dinner.
Greg wasn't in the room when Nick finished his shower. He quickly dressed so he could find him. The thought of Greg on his own in this house didn't feel right.
Once he found him, Nick understood why it didn't feel right. Greg was standing in front of a wall in the formal living room. This particular wall was a shrine to all things Stoksian. It started on the far left with pictures of Bill and Jillian's wedding. Each child's section began with their respective hospital new born baby picture. The photos were carefully selected and beautifully framed and included the spouses and children of each Stoke's offspring. Nick's mom had been diligent in keeping the wall of pictures up-to-date. She rotated pictures so it didn't get out of hand, only keeping the most treasured of older images for prosperity as the years passed.
Greg had stopped at the section dedicated to the twins. Nick's section was the smallest of all of his siblings for obvious reasons - no spouse, no kids. Nate's section was substantial by comparison.
Greg was trembling. His arms were wrapped around himself protectively. He couldn't seem to take his eyes off of a picture of Nick and Nate together. They were side-by-side in matching football uniforms. It suddenly occurred to Nick that maybe this trip was more of a sacrifice for his boyfriend than he realized. He was heartsore as he watched Greg fall apart. He moved to step into the room when he heard the sound of his mother's voice.
"That was Junior year." She said softly as she placed a gentle hand on Greg's shoulder. "They were both so excited to start on the Varsity team.
"This is after...it happened." Greg said in a trembling voice.
Jill sighed sadly and wrapped her arms around him. "How could you tell."
Nick was paralyzed. He couldn't take his eyes off of them.
"I can see the faded bruises." He pointed to the picture but didn't touch it. "Right there."
"You know, no one's noticed that before." Jill admitted. "I thought I was the only one who could see it."
"They don't even look alike." Greg said. His voice seemed so far away.
Jill placed her cheek against Greg's as she looked at the old photo with him. "I thought I was the only one who could see that, too."
"It's mostly the eyes. His eyes are black - soulless." Greg almost whispered. "Nicky's are so...kind. Beautiful. I can see everything he feels by looking into his eyes. They are so dark...dark chocolate. But there's this light in them...a sparkle or a twinkle or something. They are one of the things I noticed first. His eyes have always held me captive - for years."
"You pined after my boy for a long time, it seems." Jillian sounded pleased.
"Oh I pined, alright." Greg almost chuckled. Almost. "I couldn't just...not try. I knew it would be hard and it might not work, but I had to try. I wanted those eyes to..." Greg suddenly realized who he was speaking to. He blushed. "...well, anyway...I had to give us a chance."
Jill nodded against his cheek. "I'm so glad you did."
"Are you?" Greg asked. "Now that I'm here...I...maybe it's not possible, you know. My boyfriend is his twin. You're their mother. These are their people." He gestured with his hands sweeping across the expanse of the wall. "I'm the just the guy who tore it all apart."
Nick could only watch - feeling ashamed for not being more empathetic about how this all must feel for Greg - as his mother wrapped the sobbing man in her arms.
"Hush, child." She soothed. One hand was smoothing across his back and the other was carding through his hair. "You didn't do anything. Any turmoil this family is experiencing is at the hands of one of my own." She rocked him a little. "The only thing you're guilty of his giving my Nicky love. You took a big risk to love him, Greg. Thank you for that."
"I think I made a big mistake in coming here." Greg confessed into her shoulder. "I don't think I can do this."
"I think you're stronger than you're giving yourself credit for, Honey." Jill soothed. "When it gets hard, you just grab me and we'll go someplace quiet until you feel strong enough to go on."
Greg pulled away to look at her. "Why are you being so nice to me after I..."
"No." She interrupted sharply. "I never want to hear you say it again. You didn't do anything wrong, Greg Sanders. What happened then and what will happen tomorrow and the next day is not your fault."
"I just feel so bad. I'm the reason for..."
"Shhh." Jill soothed with her thumbs across his damp cheeks. "No more of that." She smiled. "I can see why my Nicky loves you so much. You're an easy man to love."
Dinner wasn't as weird as Greg had feared. Jill was amazing at navigating the three men at the table. By the end of the meal Bill and Nick were both picking on Greg as if they had all known each other for years.
"Hey - not fair." It felt good to laugh. "My head is just too small. My ears are actually exactly the right size."
"I don't know, Son." Bill teased. "Don't shake your head too hard, you may take flight."
"Oh wow." Greg deadpanned. "No one's ever made a Dumbo-esque joke about them before. Very clever, Bill."
"Careful, Greg..." Bill played back. "...it's wise to kiss-up a little to your in-laws."
All chewing at the table stopped as three people gawked at Bill. "What?"
Nick swallowed loudly.
"I can evolve just as much as the next guy." Bill argued and nudged his wife at the same time.
"This calls for a drink!" Jill exclaimed while she waived to the waiter.
Nick was still on an adrenaline rush as they got ready for bed. "Can you believe it?"
"It know, Babe. It's awesome." Greg tried to be supportive even though his gut was twisted in knots worrying about the siblings showing up in the morning. He already felt outnumbered just thinking about it. "Your parents have come a long way."
"Greg." Nick grabbed him by the wrist as he crossed to grab his toothbrush. "About earlier."
"Water under the bridge." Greg insisted. "I'm going to be a little on edge this week. So don't take anything too seriously. We'll work it all out when we get home. Okay?"
"I love you." Nick almost gushed with relief.
"I love you, too." Greg reciprocated and leaned in for a kiss.
Nick practically recoiled.
Greg tried not to let it get to him. "Sorry. Forgot."
He walked into the bathroom and attacked his teeth with the toothbrush until his gums bled. I'll feel better after a good night's sleep.
Nick showed up behind him and leaned against the sink. "I'm sorry. I'm just trying...we made such headway with my dad tonight I don't want him to walk in and see something that will set him back to the dark ages again."
Greg rinsed and spit. "I know. It's all good. Nite."
Nick could see Greg struggle to not lean in for a kiss or hug or touch or...something. He hated what this was doing to his boyfriend, but it was only for a few days. They could survive it. "Nite, Baby."
By the time Nick made it back to the bedroom, Greg was wearing an old Elmo t-shirt and faded blue sweat pants. These were Greg's version of pajamas. Greg never slept in anything other than skin, so Nick knew he would be finding sleep difficult.
Nick opted for boxers and an old A&M t-shirt. He crawled between the sheets as Greg was still rummaging through his backpack. "Have you seen my I-pod?"
"Yep." Nick answered. "It's on the counter in our kitchen."
"Shit."
"You want me to sing you to sleep, Peanut?" Nick teased.
Greg felt a little of his mood melt when he heard Nick's adorable sing-song voice being all playful and adorable. "I'll pass, Garth."
Greg sat on the small bed and looked at his boyfriend, who was already snuggling under an old quilt like he was 10-years old again.
"It's weird to sleep with this much air between us." Greg whined.
Nick nodded. "We'll make up for it at the hotel."
Greg sighed and turned the small lamp off. "Nite-nite, Little Nicky."
Nick heard the rustling of sheets and quilts and pillows being punched for comfort before he heard the thunder of heavy, rapid footfalls on the floor of their room. Before he could wrap his head around what was happening he heard the sound of a grown man losing a very expensive steak dinner to the porcelain god. He tried to remember how much Greg had to drink, it didn't seem like enough to cause him to throw up.
He sighed before he drug himself from the warm nest of bedding that smelled like home so he could play the dutiful boyfriend. He walked into the bathroom and smirked at the sight of Greg hugging the toilet. "Drink too much there, Greggo?"
It wasn't until he placed a hand on Greg's back that he realized this was more than just too much liquor with dinner. Greg was trembling. His skin was damp with sweat and cold as ice. Something was very, very wrong. "Greg?"
Greg clung to the cool porcelain. His breathing was rapid and shallow. "Ohgod..."
Nick dropped to the floor next to him. "Breathe, G. Deep breaths." He coached. Nick suddenly could care less about the rules he had imposed. He scooted closer to Greg and pulled him until Greg rested his back against Nick's chest. The touch seemed to calm him. "What's going on, Greg?"
Greg continued to steady himself as he relaxed a bit against Nick solid body. Nick could smell the strong scent of vomit and noticed the Greg got a good bit on Elmo. He pulled at the hem of the shirt, "Lift your arms for a sec." Once he had used the t-shirt to wipe Greg's chin and neck, he tossed it into the sink and pulled Greg closer. "What the hell happened?"
"Smell."
"What?"
"Smell." Greg tried to explain but it only made him freak out again. He was starting to have trouble breathing again. "Smells like..." Greg panted. "...like that day...when he...ohgod..." Greg lunged for the toilet again as he lost more of his dinner.
"Oh shit, Greg." Nick suddenly knew exactly what was happening. "I'm so sorry. I picked my own bed."
Nick wanted to kick himself in the ass. It never occurred to him that Greg would be sleeping in Nate's bed. Even after all of these years and countless sleepovers of various nieces and nephews - the bed was sure to have some lingering scent of the boy who spent years sleeping in it. How could I not think of that.
"I'm so sorry, Baby."
Greg nodded with his face pointed toward toilet water, which was his way to say without speaking that it was okay.
"Don't let me off the hook, G. I've been a self-centered ass and you're payin' for it."
Greg shrugged which Nick interpreted as, Can't argue with that.
Nick recognized the sound of dry heaves and he kept a steady pace of back-rubbing until Greg pulled away from the bowl. He stood and helped Greg to his feel. He handed him a paper cup. "Rinse."
"Thanks." Greg's voice was rough from the rawness that comes with vomiting.
"Mouthwash?" Nick asked. He stayed close enough to be touching Greg from shoulder to thigh.
"Yes, please."
Once Greg had himself cleaned up Nick pulled him by the hand toward his own bed. "Take your pants off so you can sleep."
"But..."
"It's okay." Nick reassured him. "You know you can't sleep all twisted up in clothes."
"But..."
Nick interrupted again. "Greg...off with the sweats and into the bed."
He could see the relief in Greg's face as he crawled into the bed in his preferred sleepwear - namely nothing. Nick stripped down to skin as well and crawled into the small bed with his boyfriend.
Greg's eyes bulged in shock. "What are you doing?"
"Holding the man I love after he's had a horrible flashback, thanks to my own selfishness." Nick explained as he pulled their bodies close and tangled their legs together. He immediately felt Greg's body respond in all the right ways. "Still no sex in my parent's house."
"I'm not about to look a gift horse in the mouth." Greg smiled. "There will be no groping. Scout's Honor."
Nick slid his hand down the warm back of his lover. He grabbed a palmful of ass before growling a little. "A grope here and there might be okay."
Greg sucked in a startled breath at the feel of it. Even though it had only been one day - he really missed Nick's touch. "What about kissing?"
"We're definitely kissing." Nick nodded into Greg's warm lips.
After taking a few minutes to enjoy the kiss, Greg pointed out the obvious, "You're breaking your own rules, Stokes"
"I think we're going to need each other this week." Nick explained. "Especially the comfort we can only get through touching." That was a pretty deep sentiment coming from Nick. They both knew it - and Greg's eyes told Nick that he appreciated it, too.
"I've been trying to tell you that." Greg teased. "But, oh nooooooo, you insisted..."
Nick kissed him into silence. "I'm an idiot. You should never listen to me."
Greg chuckled into Nick's lips. "I think that's the first thing we've agreed on all day."
TBC