Okay this is still Punk's POV we will be getting to Randy's but it will take a few chapters before we get there. Thestart of this is very much Punk's decision and his choices and how they will impact the future.
By the time John and Bryan arrive I've gotten past the crying, the pain, and throwing myself at Colt. At this moment in time I am numb, completely and utterly numb. I know Randy is just up the street and perhaps I could go to him, try to work this all out, convince him that the drugs he is using are not worth me and the children, but honestly I'm just so tired of fighting. Hell I think perhaps, it's the avoidance of the fighting that has exhausted me, by pretending we were all right, by lying to myself I think I may have done more damage than good. I watch the guys enter my home, the place I've built with Randy and think perhaps I just need to leave here, maybe get away someplace where he doesn't exist and collect my thoughts, figure out what I want, if we are heading for divorce I can deal with it, if we are going to start over, make a new beginning then I need figure out how we do that from here.
I look down at my hands as John pulls the necklace from my tense fingers, the collar I think is still on our bed but that doesn't mean as much as the necklace. Thee collar is a sign of my submission and trust to Randy, the necklace represents that but also my love for him, and his for me. It's a symbol of the both of us of our connections. So to have him rip it away from me was almost as if saying that no longer existed, I raise an eyebrow as John fastens the necklace back into place. "I'm not allowed to do that John, he has to put it on." John snorts and then holds my chin firmly in his hand so we are meeting eye contact.
"I'm a dom and I know that he wants this around your neck, he wouldn't have brought it back if he didn't want it here. So I am doing the honors for Randy and putting it where it belongs before you completely lose it. If I took away Bryan's necklace he would not handle it well, and so I am assuming that you wouldn't either." I nod and smile when Bryan sits beside me, slipping slightly away from Colt to snuggle into his side, its odd and although Colt is my best friend and always will be there is still underlying tension so I've grown closer to Bryan, maybe because we have similar relationships or maybe because Randy and John are best friends and we spend more time together. I'm curious though about Colt and Cody's relationship, an open relationship seems odd to me, those two are not the type so I wonder if they are having problems.
We sit in silence for a while, no one really knowing what to say to me, and I'm at a loss. "Sorry to cut your vacation short, where did John take you?" It was a surprise and it had been driving Bryan mad for weeks not knowing.
"It's okay I was getting bored, he took me to a place in Colorado on a lake, private beach, very scenic." I snort like either of them saw the sights, but it does not peaceful almost a perfect place to think and well get away from… I refuse to think about the other issue in my life right now. Okay so I think I may have a stalker, though this one not quite as intelligent as Paul was, whoever it is sends me emails, and pictures, and text messages from a blocked number. There creepy and slightly specific something I had wanted to talk to Randy about yet it never seemed like the right time, I mean how do I tell a guy out of his mind on drugs that somebody is watching me, and at first I could have sworn it was Paul, even though I know in the back of my mind he didn't make it out of that house.
"How long do you have the place for?" I don't want to horde in on their vacation but honestly being here may drive me over the edge. John smiles brightly at me.
"I kind of purchase the place so I guess forever. Go pack Punk, you could use a few days away from all of this without Randy breathing down your neck." I turn and look at Colt unsure if he would come with us.
"I'll call Cody see if he wants to come with us." I cringe slightly not sure if Cody is going to want to see me if Randy called him. Hell I'm sure Randy called him, and I think maybe Colt coming with us is a bad idea yet I want him there so I just nod heading into my bedroom with Bryan trailing behind me.
"Is this place big enough for all of us?" Bryan sits on the edge of my bed folding the clothes I haphazardly throw into a bag.
"Of course does John ever do something on a small scale, it's huge and lavish, and you could get lost in it, and I'm sure he will have multiple heart attacks as we break it in and give the place a much needed lived in feel." I smile John is neurotic, maybe even OCD when it comes to his home, everything has a place and should be in those places at all times. It took Bryan a long time to break him of some of his odd behaviors, even longer for Bryan to learn to live with some of them. "How are you doing?" I shrug and take a seat beside of him.
"I don't know, at the moment just numb, ask me in a while I may be on the verge of another breakdown. I should probably call my therapist but then I would have to talk about it and I'm not sure I'm entirely ready to analyze my every decision. I feel dirty though, I went home with a complete stranger last night and he's the first guy beside Randy that I've willingly allowed inside my body. I didn't even find him that attractive Bryan, I think it was almost more about revenge than anything else. Now I feel like I can't get clean, like I violated everything with Randy despite what he has been doing behind my back. Then I threw myself at Colt, now healthy is that for our strained relationship." I lean back and close my eyes I can feel Bryan staring at me, so I glance at him through half lidded eyes.
"Randy deserves what you did last night and a lot more Punk, however it didn't make you feel good so I would suggest in the future you weigh that against the need for payback. I think you need to call your therapist if you feel like you're that close to the edge, we all know how unpretty it is when you fall apart, I think avoiding that at all cost would be good." I shrug at him but have no intention of calling him. "Leaning on Colt I understand completely, he's a safe place to fall, someone who has confessed his love for you, who would never hurt you. However he is married to Cody so I would suggest trying not to involve yourself in their marriage, it seems like they are pretty happy together."
"Looks can be deceiving" I mutter but stand to go back to packing my cell phone goes off, and the unknown caller stares me in the face when I check it. I hit the answer button and hold the phone to my ear "hello" once again and not for the first time today alls I hear is breathing and the occasional grunt "hello" I swear it almost sounds like the person on the other end is masturbating but the thought of that is just disturbing. "Go fuck yourself, stop fucking calling me" I end the call and sigh at Bryan's look "it's nothing, I just need to change my number, some creep got a hold of it, probably some psycho fan." He nods we've all had those, most are harmless enough. I finish packing and my phone goes off again, I sigh at Randy's name and decline the call. I'm not going to leave town without him knowing but I hearing his voice would be too much. I send him a text instead going out of town with John and Bryan to think, just please give me a week and then we will talk, please give me the space I need so we can sit down together. Also please be sober for that conversation, I still love you, I just need space. I'm walking in the living room when I get a response, he tells me he will give me the space and asks if he can stay at the house. I agree to this as it is his home too, and I'm not going to be here but I do ask him to not have any of his whores in our home. It's a low blow one to which he doesn't respond. Instead he informs me he wants to work this out, my only response to this it to tell him is he means it to get help. I turn my phone off after this, he seems more leveled headed at least but I wonder if that will last.
When I enter the living room Cody has arrived and is handing Colt a bag, he looks over at me and I tense. "Randy called and nothing he said really surprised me. I'm agreeing to let Colt go with you because I am hoping it will help the two of you work out your shit, if you choose him then at least I stop being your fucking substitute, if you don't and its Randy then let my husband go Punk, because you haunt our fucking relationship." Before I can even think of a response he is out the front door leaving everyone in award silence. Great now I have more to deal with but then again I've always need to deal with this, it's just another thing I have found myself avoiding. Colt looks almost embarrassed so I just shrug and give him a smile, hopefully by the time I sit down with Randy then I will have answers for Colt, for myself, and for my husband. We head out to the car, and to the airport where a private plan is waiting to take us to our destination.
On the plane Colt sits down beside of me and I look over studying him, "I don't want to lead you on." He chuckles and takes my hand lacing his fingers with mine, and I wonder when the last time Randy held my hand was.
"You're not, you always made it clear Randy was it for you. My problems with Cody run deeper then you, he knows it and so do I. Just try to enjoy the next few days, relax and don't focus so much on the shit going on. I know you, you will drive your self insane trying to analyze every little thing." I nod, he knows me well, I do this easily so I hope I can do what he requests, I want to ask what exactly is going on with Cody but I'm not sure knowing the extent of their problems will help me. I stare out the window as the world below us gets smaller, until alls I can see are the white peaks of clouds underneath us. Colt's thumb strokes the back of my hand and I find myself leaning against him seeing comfort, night is slowly starting to descend so I rest my head on his shoulder trying to find sleep. It does not come to me and however John and Bryan drift off and it leaves just myself and Colt, I turn in my seat and stare at him for a long time.
"Will you stay with me?" he gives me a questioning look and I sigh "at the house, stay in a room with me, I don't want to be alone and its not like we haven't shared a bed together many times, hell we practically lived in the same bed in the past." I'm opening a door that should have stayed closed, but then again maybe it never was, perhaps it was always cracked with me peeking in.
"Punk, I don't know if that's a good idea" I shrug and then lean forward pressing my lips to his again, his hand is in my hair in a second and he is deepening the kiss. I return it for a moment before pulling back. Guilt again clawing its way into my conscious, I think I may be using my best friend, to gather comfort Randy seems unable to give me. I think I may be destroying this friendship, blowing it up in my own face, but just maybe that is what I need to do. To convince Colt that he belongs with Cody, I have a feeling Colt couldn't handle me, my demands, my moods, couldn't handle being in a relationship with me. I turn and he sighs into my ear as I settle against him.
"I'll share with you" I nod I knew he would and a plan slowly comes together, the next few days I am going to give Colt exactly what he wants, he wants me, he is so going to get me full blown and hopefully he will see that you need to be careful what you wish for. Hell I already know that if we can Randy and I will work things out, his necklace around my neck tells me that, Randy is where I belong I just need to convince Colt that I am not where he belongs, and if I get to take comfort with him for a few days then so be it.
Nobody noticed me outside of Punk's house, watching as they all left together in anger, I hid in the shadows, a raging bull plotting, planning, and determined to finish what Paul had started. I already put many aspects in motion, starting the cheating rumors, encouraging Randy's drug use, putting the cracks in there relationship so that when the time came to strike, the viper wouldn't care that his little straight edge husband had gone missing, when I finished no one would even know or care Punk was gone. I just needed to eliminate a few more obstacles and Punk would be all mine, John, Bryan, and Colt all needed to go, at any cost I needed to get rid of them and soon, my patience is wearing thin, I want Punk underneath me screaming sooner than later begging for death as I brutalize his body the same way he did to Paul. I won't let hi get away with what he did to Paul, soon Punk will know what hell is like, he'll just be alive to experience it.
Thank you everyone who read the first chapter, i was so happy to see so many of my readers from Twisted Seduction back for the ride in this one. Everyone here is just amazing and I hope you remember to review it keeps me motivated.
Totally Unispired Name- I love your name it is awesome! Thank you for the review! I hope the sequel will live up to your hopes! :-)
Viperko- Thank you for your review, it is a sad start and I can not guarantee a happy ending, although I do tend to only write happy endings lol.
Krebsbach- Thank you for your review, it is not immediately but here is more!
lamentomori- Told you it would start with drama, I think this offers less drama but more questions. When we get to Randy's POV I hope somethings will be explained. He is not talking to me much yet, but I'm sure when it's is turn he will not shut the hell up. Colt and Cody well unfortunately I believe Punk may be the biggest problem there and we will see what happens with that. One out of three is very realistic for relationships these day, although I hope to get it to be two of three at least again lol!