Bill

Double D splashed water into his face and looked into the mirror. He was glad that at least one bathroom in Ed's house was clean.

"What's happening to you, Eddward?" Double D asked himself. "These headaches have been coming more often with each passing day." He stared at himself in the mirror, focusing on it as best he could, focusing on something in his eyes; something... different.

"It's probably nothing." Double D said as he turned to leave. "Probably just a result of talking to myself..." He didn't notice that the mirror had begun to melt.

"Oleander!" Raz yelled as he and Sasha ran out of the alley and towards a completely different alley where the scream had come from.

Upon arriving, Raz immediately blasted someone away from a knocked-down Oleander. Sasha ran over to check on Oleander while Raz stared down the attacker.

The assailant was dressed in a strange, bright-pink tuxedo and a nauseating, yellow tie. He had fiery, red hair and perfectly white teeth. He seemed perfectly fine despite being knocked into a wall by a powerful psychic blast.

"Well!" The man said cheerfully as he dusted himself off. "You're quite the energetic nuisance, aren't you, Razputin?"

"You know my name?" Raz said with a smile. "I'm guessing you're psychic, than?"

"You are correct, sir!" The man said with a smile that just screamed 'game-show host.' "The name's Bill."

"Bill?" Raz repeated inquisitively. "Bill... what?" "No last name." "Just... Bill?" "Just Bill.

"Look, I'd love to stay and chat." Bill said. "But I'm sensing some budding psychics and I'm just dying to meet them!"

Before Bill could escape, Raz pinned him down by pushing a trashcan on him. "Why are you attacking random people?" He asked.

"Random?" Bill asked. "My friend, if you look closely, you'll find that it's not so random. I'm attacking psychics."

"What, are you trying to build psychic death tanks?" Raz asked mockingly. "The guy you just attacked already tried that."

"Oh, you'll find my victim's brains are still in there." Bill said calmly. "But the brain's useless if it has nothing in it. You're lucky you got to Oleander before I finished with him; he's still got a good deal of his brain left."

"Where am I?" Oleander asked as he sat up and looked around. "What happened?"

"Oleander, are you alright?" Sasha asked. "Sasha..." Oleander asked, though for some reason he was now speaking with a strange, European-sounding accent.

"Are you alright, Oleander?" "Who's Oleander?" Oleander asked. After a moment of thought, he seemed to return back to reality. "Oh, right, me! Uh... why aren't we at the Summer Camp? And who's that kid with the goggles?"

"Oleander, something's wrong with you." Sasha said, worried at what had happened to the egg-shaped coach's brain.

"I feel perfectly fine!" Oleander said as he stood up on shaky legs. "I just don't remember some things... like my first four years of public school. But other than that, I'm fine!"

"Oleander, someone's drained your brain!" Sasha yelled. "What, for a psychic death tank?" Oleander asked. "Didn't Dr. Loboto and some guy named Boyd Cooper try that?" "Uh... actually, that was you." "What?" Oleander asked. "I think I'd remember something like that. Besides, why would I?" "Because you had a traumatized youth and maddening nightmares." "Oh, right... forgot about that... so... we playin' badminton or something? I kinda forgot how to play it... you kick the ball, right?"

"Are we done here?" Bill asked Raz, slightly annoyed. "I have a poker game scheduled with Rupert and Mans, and they both simply hate waiting."

"Jeez, you must be insane." Raz said as he looked Bill square in the eyes. "Who plays poker with someone named 'Rupert?'" "Evidently, me." Bill said.

The next thing that Raz knew, he was tossed aside like something that a person would toss aside. "I'm sorry, but you are the Weakest Link!" Bill said with a smile that obviously begged for therapy. The smile stayed on his face as he tossed a Confusion Grenade at Raz...

"Raz... wake up, Razputin!" "Wake up, Dogen!" "No, tha-that's not his name." "Right; Bobby!"

Raz opened his eyes wearily. "Oh... that must've been some party last ni—." He suddenly remembered what had just happened. "Oh, man... he got away."

"Yup." Oleander said, now speaking as if he was a French chef. "Stefan got away..." "Bill, Oleander." Sasha said. "That was Bill; Stefan was the weird kid at Whispering Rock, remember?" "Not really." Oleander said. "It hurts when I try."

"Was it just me, or did that guy have a sort of 'game show host' vibe to him?" Raz asked as he stood up.

"I couldn't tell." Sasha explained. "I was a little..." he pointed at Oleander, who was trying to fit his entire, egg-shaped body into his shoe, "... distracted. But I did catch one thing he said..."

"You mean about 'budding psychics?'" Raz asked, quoting the madman's words. "Why do you think he's draining psychic's brains; revenge, power, or just for kicks?"

"Possibly all three." Sasha said as he rubbed his chin, thinking. "But, still; there's the issue of catching him... the budding psychics are most likely in their adolescence... hmm..."

"You failed miserably, Bill." Mans said as he dealt the cards. "I, of course, wouldn't fail; for I am Mans, the Utterly Better Than You!"

"Mans shut up!" Rupert said as he pounded that table with his fist. "Talk too much. Tick Rupert off."

"Everything ticks you off, Rupert." Bill said as he looked at the cards he'd been dealt.

The group was in a large, desolate house, which, for some reason, was completely black. The house's architecture was comically crooked, almost as if a child had designed it; but the inside was, somehow, perfectly straight.

"Yes." Mans said. "Your anger is annoying; however, no one can become as angry as me!"

"No one can become as annoying as you, either." Bill said, snickering. "That's what I'm saying!" Mans said, taking the insult as a compliment.

"Rupert craves food." Rupert said as he rubbed his stomach. "When Rupert's turn? Rupert drain brains!"

"You definitely need to." Bill said. "Robby had his turn last night; did a pretty good job, too." "But, not as good a job as... ME!" Mans said, standing up as he said this.

"I hope our friend's happy." Bill said, voicing everyone's wishes. "We couldn't do this without BEA's help!"

"Yes." Mans said, preparing to flatter himself again. "However, he helps me more! For I am MANS!"

"I've devised a plan at long last." Sasha said to Raz. They were standing nearby a phone-booth. Oleander was inside, talking on the phone to the voice that was asking him to insert 25 cents.

"Dude, it's only been, like, a few minutes." Raz told the older agent.

"Well... it felt like longer." Sasha said. "Right, Oleander?" "I don't speak English!" Oleander yelled back.

"Yes, well, anyways..." Sasha said, "you will have to go undercover in this town's middle school."

"What?" Raz yelled, startled. "But I'm only, like, ten! How can I get into a middle school?"

Sasha swiftly produced a brochure labeled, 'Peach Creek Info.' "It says, 'Peach Creek Jr. High also offers elementary school courses, do to the elementary school being destroyed in an incident known as 'Ed-Brand Comics.'... wait, what?"

"Doesn't matter." Raz said. "Anyways, why do I need to go undercover? How will that help catch Bill?"

"Because, any one of the kids in that school could be one of the budding psychics." Sasha explained. "If you stay close to them, eventually Bill will come to you."

"Oh, I get it." Raz said. "But what about you? You sitting this one out?"

"I need to do some research on Oleander." Sasha explained. "I'll head to my lab and call some back up for you; see how many of the younger Psychonauts I can find to help you out.

"Now listen, Raz..." Sasha said, "it s very important that you don't use your powers unless absolutely necessary. If someone finds out anything, hit them with a Confusion Grenade as soon as you can. Also, if Bill or someone attacks, protect the kids, but discreetly; secrecy is top priority."

"Got it." Raz said with a nod. "Good luck." Sasha said as the two walked away in separate directions...

... after a few seconds, they both turned around and began going the other way. "The school's that way..." "Right." No one noticed that Oleander had disappeared.

Next Time: The New Kid