I soon realise that I'm not alone any more. I heard the cars pull up and the car doors slamming. I even heard the desperate female voice crying my name. But I didn't take notice until the footsteps that were speeding toward me slowed and then stopped. I still remain determinedly staring at the portal, but my heart races quicker as I feel a soft hand grasp my arm.

"Peter" she says tentatively, sadly, but still with hints of desperation. "Peter, please".

I say nothing. What does she want me to say? The void is so tempting, a new start, a chance to be whoever I want to be, or even a chance to be whoever I was truly supposed to be. Why can't she understand that? My real father must be looking for me, I know Walter well enough to know that he would never give up hope. I bet he's worried about me. Vaguely I wonder if my mother is still alive, or if they had any other children. Everything could be so different, I mean Nixon was president, we saw the coin to prove it. Remembering Olivia's presence, I finally decide to acknowledge her when she breaks down into uncontrollable sobs. I slowly weave an arm around her shoulders. Just yesterday I loved this woman; she at least deserves a goodbye, no matter how badly she's betrayed me. She snuggles in closer; her sobs dampen my shirt as she refuses to look at the portal. It's not only her who's broken down: Walter is about 30 feet back from us, standing with Astrid and Broyles. I guess they think Olivia will manage to keep me here.

They won't understand that I have to go, that I have to see what my own world is like. I'm not one of them and I never will be. If I don't go now it'll be too late; Olivia and I are already on the verge of something more than friendship, it would be so much worse if I was ripped from here in a couple of years when we were closer still. Maybe if I return the war will stop, and actually I'll be saving them by leaving. Determinedly I take a step toward the blue, but Olivia's grasp on me stiffens and she wails out, clinging to me with every ounce left of her. I silently realise how vulnerable she is showing herself to be, her utter dependence on my existence in this world is far worse than I had ever expected. Yesterday this would have made me happy, because yesterday I needed her too and I would have taken this as affirmation of her feelings for me. Today, this makes leaving harder and yet, more inevitable. I pull her off me and turn to face her, bowing my head slightly as to meet her eyes on her level.

"Livvy" I sing to her, soothingly. "I have to go"

My statement sends shivers down her back and she shakes with tears, anger, and frustration. I smile at her sadly, kiss her on the head, and prepare myself.

"Goodbye, Olivia"

I turn and walk toward the blue before her desperate self can prevent me.

"Peter!" She cries out. "Don't! I..."

I turn to face her as I'm taken into the void, into my own place, where I belong, and her words are lost to the darkness.

**********

"Don't! I love you..." I finish, but he hasn't heard me, I know he hasn't, the sorrow is still in his eyes as he fades. I'll never see him again. Olivia Dunham, alone, again.