It's 4. It means I have two hours to decide what to wear to my date with Rachel. I decided to take her to an italian restaurant, and then we're gonna see "La dolce vita", by the greatest italian director, Federico Fellini.

I want her to know my homeland, because Italy is such a beautiful country, full of history and art. I don't miss living there, though. Too many religion-crazy people.

Back to us, I planned this date in every little detail, except for my clothes. My previous date with Rachel was a spontaneous one: we met at the park and spent the day together. Now, I have to be fancy, 'cause the restaurant is an expensive one, but I am not going to put a dress on.

I don't have anything against dresses or skirts, it's just that, well... I'm 6'5" with a really muscular body. I would look like a tranny.

So, emergency call is it.

"You better have a good excuse to interrupt my sweet Quinny kisses, you little son of a Godfather bitch, you useless..."

"Stop right there. I need Quinn."

"What the hell do you want from my girl... HEY QUINN, DON'T..."

I hear fumbling, and then Quinn answers me

"Hey, honey, what's up, are you nervous for your date with Rachel?"

I think I heard Santana say something that sounded like "fucking midget and fucking giant always up on my ass"

"No... Yeah, I mean, yes, but... I don't know what to wear. I need your help, Quinny!"

"We'll be there in 10."

"Thank you."

After just five minutes, I hear knocking, or better banging, on my front door. Sanny isn't happy to be here.

"Don't destroy my door, you crazy bitch!"

"You better be fast, idiot."

I let them in and they go right upstairs, but I see Quinn going into my parents room.

"Quinn, my room is there, did you forget?"

"I don't think you have the right clothes."

"And you hope to find the 'right' clothes in my mom's closet? She's like, half me!"

"Not your mommy, idiot. Your dad."

Quinn comes out of the room with one of my father's suit and throws it at me.

"Go wear it."

"I'm going to look ridiculous, Quinn. You know I hate the lesbian cliché of femme-butch and.."

"You are going to look hot."

"But..."

"GO."

I put it on in the bathroom, but I can't bring myself to look in the mirror, so I exit the bathroom ready to Santana's jokes.

"Holy shit."

"I look like an idiot, right? Oh, god, Rachel is going to hate me and then I will die and.."

"You are hot. Like, I'd fuck you right here, if blondie would let me."

"I surely wouldn't. But I'm thinking about a threesome."

Ok, if Santana is not mocking me, it means I really look good, and looking to myself in the mirror I can say it out loud. I'm going to wear a suit more often, from now on.

I let Quinn do my hair, and when I look at the clock is five. The drive to Rachel's is half an hour, I will spend 15 minutes in the flower shop, and I'll show up at the Berry's door earlier, making a good impression on her dads.

Or so I hope.

And here I am. Knocking lightly at Berry's door. In a suit. Whit white lilies and italian wine in my hands. My mom insisted for me to take something to Rachel parents.

Finally, the door opens and I'm met with a little man (REALLY LITTLE), with round glasses and a big nose.

"Hello, you must be my daughter's suitor."

"Good evening, Mr. Berry, yes, I'm Sara Monti, and I'm here for Rachel only if it suits you."

It looks at me skeptically, like he's trying to test my sincerity, but I think I passed the test, because his eyes soften and he says

"Oh dear, you have really good manners, come in."

"Thank you Mr Berry, this is a present for you and you husband, it's italian wine."

"Oh, dear you shouldn't have, and please, it's Hiram, no Mr. Berry here, it can get really confusing."

He goes putting the bottle in the kitchen when I meet the other Mr. Berry. The scary one.

"And you are?"

"Sara Monti, sir. I'm here to accompany Rachel to dinner, sir, only if it suits you, sir."

"And if it doesn't suit me?"

"Well, I... I... I would wait for Rachel, say hello to her, give her the flowers and then go back to my house."

The glare he was giving me suddenly becomes a look of amusement, and seconds after he's laughing at me like there's no tomorrow.

"LEROY BERRY! I told you not to scare our daughter's date!"

The little Berry man comes out of the kitchen with a really-not-amused look, while the other Berry is going to die from his laughter, when I hear light footsteps on the stairs and prepare myself for the heart-attack I'm probably going to have.

When I see her, my breath dies in my throat. She's wearing her hair down, with soft brown curls to adorn her beautiful face, where I can find just a light track of make up.

"Hello, Sara. You look beautiful, as always"

"Hi-EHM-Hello Ra-Rachel. You, you, you look..gorgeous. Those are for you."

As we both blush, I give her the flowers.

"Thank you, Sara, you are very sweet."

I am lost in her big brow eyes, and when I hear one of the Big Berries clearing his throat, I decide to take Rachel hand

"Shall we go, princess?"

She beams at me and guides me to the door.

"Now, now, aren't you going to say hello to your fathers, little girl?"

Rachel blushes and lets go of my hand to hug her fathers but quickly re-takes it when she's done.

"Good evening Hiram, Leroy"

"Have fun, girls!"

"But not too much!"

We are now in front of my car and I open the door for her, then I go to sit in my place, start my Miles Davis compilation, and let his wonderful trumpet accompany us in the short drive.