Chapter 2 Futile Conversations

In the evening all the guys are found sitting at the dining table. Nobody knows what to say; it's been that way since the incident at the pool the day before.

Carlos is eating the fish sticks Mrs. Knight made them, while the other guys just share glances with each other. They're all mentally arguing who should be the one to start talking. Mrs. Knight and Katie can feel the tension in the room, but have decided to stay quiet.

"Okay, enough with this." Kendall starts, making everyone look at him. "Carlos, we want to talk to you about what happened at the pool."

Carlos stops eating for a moment to look at Kendall, before gong back to eating again.

"Carlos, didn't you hear what I said?"

"Sure, I heard you. What's there to talk about?"

"What's there to talk about? What's there to talk about?" Kendall says, getting a little angry and standing up. But James puts a hand on his shoulder, making him sit back down. He shakes his head at him.

"Carlos, we're just concerned about you." Logan calmly says.

"You don't need to be concerned, I'm fine." He says, while still eating.

"No you're not. Carlos, your dad died last night. I know it's hard to deal with, but we're all here for you if you want to talk or cry." Suddenly Carlos stops eating, throws his fork down and stands up.

"Look, I said it once and I'll say it again. I am fine. If you really want to know how you can help me, here's how; back off!" He angrily says before walking to his bedroom.

"It's not good to keep things bottled up like this. You can't just ignore what happened." Logan argues after following his friend.

"Who says I'm ignoring it?"

"Well, you're not dealing with it."

"You mean I'm not dealing with it the way you want me to."

"I didn't say that…" Logan continues, but Carlos interrupts him.

"But that's what you mean. You think I should be sitting in a corner somewhere crying my eyes out. Well, maybe I don't feel like doing that. Maybe I just want to act normal."

"Normal? You threw someone into the pool because he was sitting in one of our chairs!" Kendall puts in. Mrs. Knight and Katie's eyes grow wide at hearing this.

"Hey! I asked nicely and he wouldn't budge."

"You didn't ask him nicely, you ordered him to get up and pulled out his earplugs." Kendall says as he walks closer to Carlos.

"Well, I think it's rude when you listen to music when someone is talking to you." Carlos respond as he stands right in front of Kendall, making him walk backwards a little.

"So you threw his music player away?"

"It got his attention, didn't it?"

"Guys.." Logan starts, trying to get them to back off of each other.

"We could have used other chairs."

"I didn't want to use other chairs."

"Guys, this isn't helping." Logan says again.

"Shut up, Logan." They both shout in unison.

"What if it was a girl sitting in the chair. Would you have thrown her into the pool?"

"Why not? If she didn't move on her own."

"God, this is so ridiculous. You're not like this, Carlos. You're not a violent person. The only reason you're acting like this is because you're mad about your dad dying." James suddenly intervenes. "And that's okay, we understand that. But don't take it out on other people. Just come and talk to us. We're your friends, we can help you go through this."

"Wow. So you're a shrink now? I thought only Logan wanted to tell me how to feel." Carlos replies. James sighs.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you pushing us away? Do you want to start a fight? You need us right now, Carlos. We just want to help you."

"I don't need your help. I'm fine, perfectly fine!"

"Then where's your helmet, huh? Or did you not throw it into the trash can last night?"

"What I do with my helmet is my business, James. So leave it alone."

"Is it because your dad gave it to you?"

"Stop talking about my dad!"

"No, we have to do this. You need to hear this. Your dad was killed, Carlos. He's not coming back. Now, if you want to be mad about that, that's fine. I'll get you a pillow to throw or take you to a boxing rink or the hockey rink so you can let it go. But stop fighting us. We are going to help you get through this, if you want to or not." James tells his friend, holding him by the shoulders.

"Okay. Can I go to my bedroom now?" Carlos calmly asks, but they can see his hands are still balled up into fists.

James sighs again. "I… yeah, of course." He says and lets go.

"Thank you." Carlos calmly says again, before walking into his bedroom and throwing the door closed with a loud SLAM!. The guys wince at this.

"This isn't going to be easy, is it?" James asks, running a hand through his hair.

"No, it's not. But we're not giving up on him. He can fight us all he wants, we'll stay right here. He knows that. We just need to give him some time." Logan tells him, putting an arm around his tall friend's shoulder. James just nods sadly.

Logan walks back to the table, where Kendall is now slowly eating again in silence. He walks up behind him and without warning slaps him in the back of the head.

"Ouch, what was that for?" He complains, rubbing his head.

"That was for actually responding to him. We're supposed to make him feel better, not get into a fight with him."

"Well, he didn't exactly respond well to your psychology mumbo-jumbo either."

"At least I wasn't practically begging him to punch me."

"Guys, just stop. Us fighting isn't helping anything. Let's just finish eating and tomorrow we can try again." James suggests. The other two just exchange looks, but go back to eating.

That night, Carlos doesn't come out of his room. The guys spend time watching a movie, but they keep sending worried glances towards the other bedroom door.

"You know what, I don't feel like finishing the movie. I'm going to bed." James announces as he stands up. The other guys nod, but don't follow right away. "Night."

"Night, James."

He carefully opens the door and walks into the room. He isn't surprised to find Carlos lying on his back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"You missed a great movie, you know." He is only met by silence. "Okay. Uh, hey, maybe we can go play some ice-hockey tomorrow. That's always a good way to let off some steam, huh?" he says with a smile. But Carlos doesn't respond.

"Okay, I guess you don't want to talk right now. That's fine, you don't have to. I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to. Tell you what, tomorrow, you can decide what we can do. Just you and me, you can choose whatever you want. What do you say?"

He is met by a loud sigh and Carlos turning his back to him. "Oh, you really don't want to talk. I'll just leave you alone then. If you do want to talk, just let me know. Even if it's the middle of the night, I won't mind. Well, goodnight I guess." He says, sighing himself before lying down in his own bed. His eyes remain open. He doesn't even notice the time passing until the other guys suddenly walk in.

"Let's just talk about it tomorrow." Kendall whispers. Logan nods and they both very quietly start to change into their pajamas and slide into bed.

"You guys don't need to be so quiet. We're both awake." The guys both jump at James' voice.

"Dude, you scared me half to death. How come you're not sleeping?" Kendall asks him.

"Don't know. Just can't seem to fall asleep."

"Carlos, you're awake too?" Logan asks.

"Oh, he's awake. He's just not talking to us." James replies, sounding a little annoyed.

"Oh. Well, just remember we have to be at the studio at 8 tomorrow." Kendall tells them.

"Okay. Goodnight, guys." James starts.

"Goodnight James, goodnight Kendall. Goodnight, Carlos." Logan tries, but is once again met by silence.

"Whatever man. Goodnight James, goodnight Logan. And Carlos, I put your helmet into the closet if you need it again. Goodnight." Kendall says, sounding a little angry.

The room is filled with silence once again, but just like the night before, nobody sleeps a wink.

Just to explain, I know there are five stages of grief. But in this story, Carlos will not go through all of them, as you may have noticed. This story also won't be as long as some of my other stories. But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

Thanks for the reviews and favorite alerts and until next time!

Love, Baxxie