Hope you like it, I'm already working on other chapters and I guess I just need to say that this story is very close to my heart. I write about my life somehow, and what's going on in it. Sorry for the grammar errors :) Just so you know this story will have everyone's POV so don't worry.

Music: "Turn to Stone" Ingrid Michaelson, "Karma Police" Radiohead, "Life is Beautiful" Vega 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

Chapter 1- "Knight in Rusty Armor"

I stared at the roof, deciding if I should get up or just stay there, gazing at nothing, for once just relaxing. I sighed, what an absurd thought.

As every other morning I rose from a restless sleep, made my bed and went to take a bath. I scrubbed every inch of skin until it hurt. Just as I was deciding what to wear my phone buzzed. It was a text, from my girlfriend.

Wear blue today, with your Armani jacket. See ya, love you.

I should've known I wouldn't be allowed to decide what to wear on the first day of school. What would my dad said if he knew I was absolutely controlled by my 17 year old girlfriend? He'd probably call me a pussy. Well it didn't matter since he wasn't here anyway.

After I changed into the clothes I was told I made my way to the kitchen; just as I was crossing the hallway I heard a moan coming from my mother's bedroom. I felt the sudden urge of bolting through the front door without looking back, but just as every morning I pushed the thought aside and started for the room where the sound was coming from. When I opened the door I couldn't say I was surprised, the sight before me was a common thing in the Whitlock's household. There she was, my nurturer, sprawled on her bed, still in the clothes she wore the day before. I noticed only two bottles this time, but I was pretty sure there were more hiding under that tumultous mess. Ever since my father died, 4 years ago, it has been this way. I knew she couldn't help it, if she didn't have the alcohol to cling to she wouldn't be able to stand the pain my dad's departure left in her heart, that's what she's always told me. I just hope she could cling to me, to the son that still hasn't left her. Of course, that wasn't bound to happen anytime soon.

When I was younger and my mom first started drinking I was angry. At her for giving up, at my dad for leaving, at everyone for everything. Then the anger turned to disappointment whenever I saw my mom clutching a bottle in her delicate hands like it was the only thing keeping her together. For times I even thought I hated her, but I realized I couldn't punish her for acting like that. Sometimes bad things happen to people that just aren't capable of dealing with them.

I approached her bed and sat down beside her, gently brushing a hand through her hair. My mother was a remarkably beautiful woman, with her blond hair, which I inherited, and pale complexion. Right now she looked anything but appealing; the stench of vomit coming off from her was almost nauseating. I tried waking her up, but I knew it was a futile intent, so I left her with a glass of water and aspirins in her nighstand for when she woke up. I picked up all the bottles I could find and after doing my best to clean her face I gave her a kiss on the cheek and left her room.

I climbed down the stairs and once I was in the kitchen I realized I wasn't hungry anymore. I grabbed my keys and quietly left my home. What was left of it.

Some people say driving is relaxing, comforting even. That speeding a car is unlike any other feeling, to feel you're in control of something and that you can leave everything behind. I, on the other hand, felt confined in a car. I've never been claustrophobic, I can perfectly manage an elevator, an airplane, a coffin six feet under the dirt, that's fine with me, but a car... yeah let's just say it never was my thing.

But I had to drive the car, since my girlfriend says its safer and it doesn't messes her carefully arranged hair. I couldn't argue with her so as usual I agreed.

I was supposed to pick her up, since we had to appear together at school, so everyone knew we were still a couple and going strong. When I arrived I sent her a text and as I waited I contemplated on the reason why we should care what others thought about our relationship. I didn't have time to ponder this much since before I knew it Alice was opening the passenger door. She complimented my outfit and leaned in to kiss me. It was a quick kiss, but sweet nonetheless. That's how everything was with Alice these days.

We'd been daiting for almost a year now, and things were... good.

"So, we're juniors now! Aren't you excited?" She said as I pulled from her house.

"Mhmm,"

"I have the feeling this is going to be an awesome year, don't you think?"

"Mhmm,"

"I can't wait to see everybody. Do you wonder if Lauren cut her hair like mine? There's been rumours..."

"Mhmm,"

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Of course Ali, I always listen." That seemed to appease her and once we reached the school she was chirpy and happy again. She grabbed my hand as soon as we were out of the car, and with a big smile plastered on her face she led the way to the entrance.

"Oh shit," she said suddenly, looking for something in her bag.

"What is it Ali?" Alice was a little too unpreoccupied with her things, so it was always my job to look after her. Everything from forgotten homeworks, upcoming tests, fights with her family, fights with her friends, her wardrobe crisis, I was always there to help her.

She looked up at me, "I forgot my phone in your car."

"Okay, no problem, let's go get it," I said motioning with my head to where the car was.

She smiled at me with that easy smile that always got her what she wanted, "Why don't you go while I go say hi to Jess; besides I need to see Lauren myself. I'll wait for you in the entrance, 'kay?"

I sighed and nodded, and with that she left. I turned around and started walking towards the car; once I found Alice's phone I heard someone calling my name. I searched for the owner of the voice and locked eyes with Bella Swan. Inmediately my face broke into a smile as I waved at her.

Bella Swan. We've studied together ever since I can remember, our dads were close friends and our Sundays were normally spent in each other's houses. She was a sweet girl, the kind of person everyone likes. I found her refreshing actually after spending time with people like Jessica Stanley, Alice's best friend. With her long, brown hair and captivating chocolate eyes, Bella usually found her way into your heart. It also helped the fact she was quite beautiful.

"Hey Jazz," she said as she approached me.

"Hey Bella," I replied as she hugged me. It didn't startle me, she had always been a hugger. "How's it going?"

Since I was so much taller she had to look up at me, "Good, a little bummed 'cause school started, you know I've never been a morning person." Oh but she was, she was always in a good mood, it was an ability I had always been envious of.

"Yeah, you look like an ogre these days if I may say," I teased her, earning me a punch in the arm.

"Very funny Whitlock," she said smiling. "You look quite tired yourself." Her smile disappeared and then she was looking at me with a curious expression on her face, "Is everything okay?"

Was everything okay? What an intricate question. One that not even I had an answer for. I was going to tell her that everything was perfectly fine but I realized I couldn't lie to her, so I stayed silent. Just looking straight ahead. She seemed to notice my change in demeanor and smiled sadly.

"It's alright, you know," I looked questioningly at her, "not feeling okay."

Was it? I thought people needed to be happy all the time, all other emotions needed to be controlled. Anger. Sadness. Desperation. Even though all of those were eating my insides I couldn't show that. My mom depended on that, what little sanity she had left. And so did Alice... they needed to be protected and for that I had to stay together.

"Yeah, so how was your summer?" I asked, desperately trying to change the subject.

The thing with Bella is that she didn't pressure. She was easy, easy to talk to, easy to be with. Easy. An easy I craved for.

She told me about her summer in South America, which she went with her cousin from Arizona, Benjamin. Her eyes shone excitedly as she recounted her memories of the music and people in Sao Paolo, the captivating atchitecture and warmness of Cartagena, the majestuosity of the Amazon. All the while she used her hands, describing me everything and I couldn't help but smile at her rambling. She looked so alive and excited.

And I probably looked jealous.

Jealous that she got to feel alive and excited. Jealous because Bella Swan was always alive and excited. Jealous for the fact she seemed so free and full of joy in a way that I could only hope to feel one day. Jealous because I wanted her to take me with her in that trip, I wanted to go to those places and worry only for the weather and our next destination. I wanted, no, I needed to feel that.

"That's amazing Bella. I'm so happy for you," I said once she had finished.

She grabbed both of my big hands in her little ones and beamed at me, "You would've loved it Jazz. You have to do it, you have to go there and see all of those things. Promise me, promise me you will."

I smiled back at her and squeezed her hands, "Only if I can take you with me."

She laughed, throwing her head back, "Of course! You really thought I would leave you there all alone? Poor, little Jasper? No way."

I joined in her laughter too, and for a moment everything was right in the world, and I dared to think about those places and then I heard the bell ringing.

I groaned. "Yeah, I feel the exact same way," Bella said, sighing. "Another long, stressful, full of embarassing moments, endless homework and arduous year starts."

I chuckled, shaking my head, "You make it sound so fun."

"Who said it wouldn't be? Come on, high school is only once, we have to make the best of it."

I nodded and then I spotted Edward's car arriving. He was always late. I said goodbye to Bella and told her I would catch her later and started walking towards the silver Volvo.

"Hey man," I said as Edward was getting out of the car. I got a good look at him. He was sporting his usual mess of a hair, bloodshot eyes and a cigarette between his lips. "You know you shouldn't be smoking in here."

"Fuck off Whitlock, not in the mood today." He said, running his hands through his hair.

"What happened? Chick trouble?" My best friend was known for being a complete ladies' man, which meant he had to break girls' heart every other day. Probably today.

"Lauren got needy. She called me her boyfriend. I laughed in her face and bolted. She came crying to my house, fucking swearing and shouting and everything. It was a mess. She wouldn't leave like till 3 in the morning. So yeah, she hasn't stopped calling or texting."

I laughed, "That's what you get for letting her think you were dating."

He snorted, "Dating? That's what I get for fucking her senseless one too many times." He then looked at an invisible speck in his shoe, "I saw you talking to Bella."

"Uhm, yeah, so?" I asked confused.

"How is she? I heard she went on a trip, haven't heard from her."

"Oh, she's fine, more than fine actually. She told me she had a good time, she's a sweet girl." I replied, thinking about our earlier encounter.

He cleared his throat and leaned in his car, "Lauren told me she's hanging with James."

I didn't know that. James? The guy was a total douchebag. "No way that ass is hanging out with Bella."

"My thoughts exactly." He murmured.

"Hey, come on let's get inside, we're already late on the first day."

He smiled his famous crooked smile at me, the one he used to get Mrs. Cope to excuse him of class and Angela to give him her homework. The Cullen smile. "Come on Jazz, we're suave motherfuckers. We are cool, cool people always arrive late. Or so I've heard."

"Shut up," I said, walking towards the building, "And please, for Christ's sake don't smile at me like that again. It's creepy." I heard him laughing behind me.

While I was walking I noticed I hadn't seen Emmett, he probably got to school before I did, or he was with his jock buddies. I grinned to myself like an idiot as I remembered Emm's drunk texting the night before. He's the only person who can get absolutely drunk the day before school starts. I was walking, and smiling, and thinking about South America when I remembered I had Alice's phone. The halls were mostly deserted, and Alice was nowhere in sight. And once again I had to run off looking for my careless girlfriend. I'm her knight in shining armor, always have been, always will.

There it is. Review if you like! XO