The Eye of the Beholder

Chapter 2

I saw little of Lothiriel over the next few days, as the Rohirrim prepared to depart for home. And, I confess, I didn't give her another thought. She turned up with her father and brothers to bid us farewell, and as I rode away from Minas Tirith I left all thought of Lothiriel behind.

Returning to Edoras was both a pleasure and a challenge. It was good to be home, to a home free of sorcery and warfare. There were still dangers in Rohan - roving bands of Orcs remained, more desperate than they had been before - but life was much more peaceful as we set about rebuilding our land. Not so peaceful was my transition from Third Marshal to King. I had never been trained for diplomacy and decision-making. My skills lay in slaying Orcs and defending our homeland. Added to my inexperience, were the difficulties my people faced as the result of destroyed crops and murdered husbands. My days began early and I worked long into the night, my eyes watering from tiredness as I pored over documents I needed to study.

Eowyn helped me when she could, but much of it only I could do. And whenever she became discouraged by it all, at least she had a letter from Faramir to cheer her and set her back on course. I seemed to be drowning in troubles and worries and unending tasks that needed my attention. To add to the burden of learning this new role, we were quickly coming up on the time when I would return to Minas Tirith to bring Theoden home to his final resting place beside his kin.

The closer I got to my scheduled date of departure for Minas Tirith, the more excited Eowyn got at the prospect of seeing Faramir once more when he returned to Edoras with the funeral cortege. I envied her happiness. With all I had to do, how was I supposed to meet and court a woman? I went to bed exhausted and awoke feeling barely rested. What woman would want a man she would never see, and who would likely be too tired to produce an heir?

My mood became more and more morose as the trip to Gondor drew nearer. It wasn't until we were on the road and several days into our journey, far away from meetings and advisors, that I felt rested enough to contemplate my feelings. In truth, I knew my depression was not really about the work or tiredness or women. It was about Theoden. Until now, it hadn't seemed real that he was gone, but this trip would make it final. After his funeral, there would be no denying he was gone forever. I knew he would not have named me king unless he had believed I could lead our people well, but I could not imagine myself a king like unto Theoden or the kings of old. I desperately did not want to fail them.

xxxxx

The trip passed quietly. I still had work to do, but far less than when at Edoras. And I very much enjoyed being back in the saddle, sleeping under the stars and enjoying the camaraderie of the men. True, it was different now. They could no longer treat me in the casual manner they had treated Third Marshal Eomer, but it still felt good to be in their company and focused on simple matters rather than affairs of state.

It was almost dusk as we rode into the city with a small party of guards accompanying us. The bulk of our company had set up camp on the Pelennor for the duration of our short visit. Since we would be returning home in just a few days, it made no sense to seek lodging for everyone in the city.

An honor guard of Gondor escorted us to the upper level of the city, where we were met by King Elessar and Queen Arwen. They greeted us warmly, and men came forward to take our horses and show our guards where to stable their mounts.

We were shown to rooms to freshen ourselves before supper and, after washing and changing clothes, I took a few moments to stand on the balcony and gaze out over the city. One thing Minas Tirith did afford was an excellent view of the surrounding country, but then so did Edoras. I knew I would never feel as at home amid all this stone as I did in my homeland.

Despite the heat of the summer days, the evening was enjoying a cooling breeze that was most welcome. I felt so relaxed for those few moments that I was reluctant to withdraw and head off to supper, but I knew I could not keep my hosts waiting. With a sigh, I stepped back into my role as king and left Eomer on the balcony.

Thankfully, Aragorn had opted to keep dinner a rather small affair in light of our late arrival. Only he, the Queen, Faramir, Prince Imrahil and his family, and my group from Rohan were in attendance. I enjoyed the more informal air of it and appreciated the King's consideration of our weariness.

Again, Erchirion had remained in Dol Amroth to run things in his father's stead. Elphir, Amrothos and Lothiriel were to accompany Imrahil to Rohan for Theoden's funeral. The three of them were as I remembered them, and it was always good to see Imrahil again. He had taken up the task of father-figure that Theoden had been for me, but more importantly he was quickly becoming my mentor. Aragorn was still feeling his own way in learning the role of king, but Imrahil had been ruler of Dol Amroth for a long time and affairs of state were second nature to him. We had spoken frequently before I returned to Edoras after the War, and I had even sent an occasional letter seeking his counsel on matters. Always his replies were warm, gracious and helpful. My head was filled with new questions I wished to ask him, but that could wait. Tonight was just for enjoying each other's company.

Early into the evening, after supper had concluded, I realized how weary I was, so I only stayed another half hour, discussing the arrangements for the next day.

On the way back to my room, I was drawn into a garden I passed by the moonlight streaming down. I found a bench with a good view and took a seat. I realized it had been a very long time since I had just sat and enjoyed moonlight. It wasn't something you did as a soldier, and for so long the shadow of Mordor had darkened the moon. It was startling how brightly the stars and moon shone without the haze that had obscured them. I felt a little more of my tenseness and weariness slip away, though a part of my mind kept trying to remind me just how soon I would be back in Edoras and far too busy to consider moonlight.

I heard a sound and looked to my left to see Lothiriel entering the garden. She did not see me sitting in shadow and walked to the wall, looking out over Gondor. I pondered whether to make my presence known. I wasn't sure that I wanted company just now, but I was afraid it might be rude to not let her know she wasn't alone. Finally, I cleared my throat and she turned at the sound.

"Good evening, my lady. It seems we have both been drawn to the moonlight tonight," I commented.

I could just barely see her smile. "I find the tranquility of it helps me to sleep."

"Yes. I was just realizing how long it has been since I last noticed it."

She stood rather awkwardly, and I realized she was uncertain whether to stay, or go and leave me in peace. "Will you join me?" I asked, gesturing to the bench beside me. It was probably better to be polite than demand solitude just now.

"I would, my lord, but I think perhaps you did not come out here for company. I will leave you to your thoughts and not intrude further." She turned to move away, but suddenly I didn't mind the idea of her presence.

"You did not come seeking company either, so perhaps we can share the space but keep our thoughts to ourselves. Please, stay."

She hesitated a moment, then nodded and turned back to stare out over the city again.

I sat there for several minutes in silence, but then began to fidget. Now that she was here, even though she was willing to keep silent herself, I found it impossible to not seek conversation. "My lady? Would you be terribly offended if we talked? I find I am not good at holding my tongue in a lady's presence."

She laughed lightly. "Very well. What is it that you so anxiously desire to say to this lady."

I shrugged. "Nothing in particular. It just feels awkward to be here with you and not speak."

She came over to sit by me and asked, "Then tell me, how are things going in Edoras with you as king?"

I gave a deep sigh. "Busy and busier. I had no idea how much there was to being a king. The days are too long, the nights too short and I spend far too much time at a desk rather than in a saddle." I wasn't sure why I was confessing this to her, but it was said before I realized it.

"If it is any consolation, it will probably get easier once you are more familiar with all that is required. And I would not be surprised but what you are suffering from 'new leader woe'."

"What is that?" I asked, intrigued by the name she had given it.

"That is when someone is new to the task and does not know what can and should be delegated to someone else. Likely you are trying to do everything yourself instead of letting advisors and aides assist you as they might."

I pondered this comment. Often I had wondered if I really needed to be doing everything I was faced with, but she was correct; I didn't know what I could assign to someone else and what I had to do myself. "I think you may be right. Do you have any counsel to alleviate this 'new leader woe'?"

She smiled softly. "I do not know that I can be much help to you, but my father probably can. I am sure he would be happy to guide you if you ask."

"I have often spoken to him before this, but I see I will need to seek his counsel even more." I was quiet for a few moments and then asked, "How is it you know so much about it?"

"I have often assisted my father and attended council sessions. He felt I should know about such things, as well as my brothers, in case the worst should happen and I be the only family member to survive the recent War."

Her response was sobering. If we had thought that far ahead in Rohan, perhaps both Eowyn and I would have been better prepared to step in when Theoden and Theodred were lost. "Your father is a very wise man."

"Yes, I think so," she answered lightly. "And now, if you will excuse me, I believe I will turn in. Tomorrow is likely to be a tiring day, especially if I am not well rested."

I stood and offered her my hand. "A good point. I will follow your example."