Chapter 2: Clinger does not die in this chapter.

An imposing figure sat on his throne, made from the index fingers of a trillion eleven-year old girls, which he had brutally, viciously and politely asked for from their mothers. He extended seven of his fifteen apricot coloured, smelling and tasting legs onto a footrest made of chewed bubblegum and used the rest to pleasure himself to the arousing nature of his clothes, which were adorned with glowing horse-cocks that shone with the fifty-six colours of the Martian rainbow. Then he reached for his champagne which was located in other dimension, and brought it back with his single tentacle, sculling it down his moose-like head, which he had stolen from a moose.

He was also a supporter of political indepedents, was completely yellow (except for his legs) and covered in moose fur and the blood of 101 earthworms.

He was far more than a moose. He was far more than a god.

He was the assistant manager of his local Bunnings Warehouse. Hardware store, and his name was "I see you (Theme from Avatar) By Leona Lewis". The moose-god was on sitting on the six-foot tall mountain of paperclips in front of him.

"Welcome to my world," I see you (Theme from Avatar) By Leona Lewis said.

The moose god was a man in his nineties, but looked like a man in his nineties, if by nineties you mean thirties. However if you take nineties for it's regular meaning, then it's a completely inaccurate description and a more accurate one would be that was a man in his thirties, with purple hair stretched to his armpits. If you stared at it long enough it looked like his arm pit hair and his head hair wear arm wrestling.

He was wearing no clothes, but where his penis should be was a moose antler instead.

"Well to be honest I see you (Theme from Avatar) By Leona Lewis, this is more of a strangely decorated office than a world," the moose-god replied.

"Yes, I suppose you're right. But I never leave these walls. I have no concept of what is beyond the door into my world. Sharks humping each other? I may never know, but I will always really, really hope that it's sharks humping each other." He pleasured himself slightly harder to this idea.

"If you want to know, I can tell you," the moose-god had said.

"No, there's no need. I shall gleam an insight from the clues of the employees who enter," the assistant manager said.

At this moment an employee entered. He was impossible to describe because nobody would be interested in describing him.

"Uh, scuse me Mr. By Leona Lewis, I've just got something you need to look over," he said, laying down a piece of paper onto what he thought was closest in function to a desk.

"Thank you very much Brian. Now go on, to the sea of humping sharks, a world I may never see, but will always hear in folklore of it's plenty," the assistant manager had replied. With this non sequitur, Brian just waved goodbye and exited through the door back in the hardware store.

"He's a complete faggot and I will fire him one day. Now then, back to business. I have here, your... thing," I see you (Theme from Avatar) By Leona Lewis said, holding a fat brown envelope with his tongue. "It took a couple of hours to get the welding done but then I realized it didn't have any metal in it so I bought it off the internet and shoved it in an envelope,"

"That's all right," the moose-god replied, taking the envelope. "I just need to know if it's turned up any results."

"Oh believe me it has. The perfect genetic match too. I thought it was wrong, but as it turns out, it's completely correct in every way I can and can't think of. There can't possibly be a better match,"

The moose-god thought back to his oldest foe. He would know that this was his doing, but he would not care, for soon, he would have his way with the world, then break up with it via SMS. Such was the type of man he was.

"Now you're mine," he said, opening the envelope. Inside was a calculator on it that had the number 800,815 keyed in. On the blocky digital display of the machine, it resembled the word "boobies". After a hearty laugh from the moose god, he rubbed it on his nipples and saw what the display had changed too.

The calculator now displayed the words "MARGARET HOULIHAN"

TO BE CONFLICTED