Oh hell this story turned out to be more popular than expected OWO I'm glad you people like my epic fail of a first chapter XP so anyway I had time to do a next day update~

Dear Diary,

France decided to show me this website today, Fan fiction. Net I think. Worst. Website. Ever. I haven't seen that much yaoi since America showed me the contents of Japan's wardrobe, and that was bloody scary. Never looked at him the same way again. . .

What's worse is he showed me the rated M section. Fucking paedophile, now I can't stop reading the USUK. GOD! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? And horrifically America is always on top, what is it about me that is so uke? And I have also come across, me x Japan, Me x Norway, Me x France, MexSeychelles, Me x Sealand and Me x Canada. Do these people have anything else to do? And I always seem to be on bottom which doesn't amuse me at all. But I am glad that I seem to be so irresistible to many of my fellow countries, even though me x Sealand and Me x France scare me a lot.

Oh crap here comes my nosebleed; I've been getting a lot of those lately, especially reading fan fictions where I'm on top. Okay wait. I'm turning into France, I need to get some hot tea and calm myself down. I feel so dirty, Eugh.

Okay I'm back and I feel more decent now, thinking about it, all those Yaoi fan fictions are like Gay porn . . . which means I may be Gay? NONESENSE! If I was Gay then who would I be gay for-

"YO IGGY!"

Oh crap America's here, I've got to go.

England quickly snapped his Diary shut and stored it away safely before America burst into his room.

"Yo England! I'm outta money and China's after me! Please help me!"

"Note to self" England thought "Lock the door twice next time."

"And Obama's being really mean to me too!"

England sighed. "You know I'm in debt too and I can't really lend you any money without getting you into debt even more."

"Slowly please Iggy I can only understand American." He huffed.

"American is not a bloody language!" England yelled "You just say that to make yourself feel better."

"About what?" America challenged

"About not being part of Britain anymore." England finished sulkily.

"You're an old man." America huffed "you can't let go of anything, hey is that a computer?"

"I'M NOT OLD I'M ACTUALLY QUITE YOUNG!" England retorted sharply.

"Whoa Iggy, I didn't know you were interested in this stuff." America smirked peering at the computer screen.

"W-What?" England blushed angrily.

"Seriously? Florida's not that-" America stopped "Never mind"

"What about Florida?" England snapped.

"It says here, rides on Florida are free, for you."

"GET OUT NOW!"

"What? Why?"

"I'M NOT GOING TO HELP YOU THIS TIME!"

"But Iggy-"

"OUT!"

England quickly double locked the door after literally kicking America out of his house.

"Dear lord, that was close." England sighed putting his palm on his forehead. He walked over to his computer and closed the page down and got his diary out again.

I really need to get laid.

Signed

England – The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

hope this one was better ^^'