Even her voice sounded beautiful.

God, was there anything wrong with this girl?

"Of course," Edward said in a way that sounded a bit too friendly…or, maybe I'm just paranoid? "What's your first class?" he asked.

"Erm…" she fumbled with her schedule, her cheeks tinged a bright pink. Great. Now she was nervous around him. This couldn't be good…

I looked between the two of them and I swear I could feel my heart breaking in my chest. I tried to keep any trace of pain and horror off my face but I wasn't actually sure if I was doing a good job of that. I was absolutely horrified.

Just seeing Edward staring at her, completely oblivious to me standing beside him after all our years as best friends made me want to cry.

"English," her nice soprano voice said, pulling me out of my thoughts abruptly, "with Mr. Mason."

Edward smiled brightly. Too brightly. "That's where Bella and I are—Bella? Bella, where are you going?"

"Bathroom," I murmured thickly, pushing through the people in the halls and making my way into the girls' bathroom.

I cringed at the smell of cigarette smoke as it hit me.

Of course. Just my luck, I get stuck wanting to cry my eyes out in the bathroom where girls come to smoke, get high, or get drunk—the worst bathroom in the school. A senior was standing in the corner with an unmistakable cigarette hanging from her lips and a loopy expression on her blank face. At least the place was mostly unoccupied.

Quickly, I locked myself in one of the empty bathroom stalls and sat down on the toilet.

I am the definition of pathetic, I thought to myself miserably, burying my face in my hands.

Why should I be upset about Edward liking Tanya? I mean, yeah, I had thoughts about what would happen if we started dating, and I'll admit, when I was around Edward, I acted like a junior high girl with a crush on an older high schooler. But it was just a crush phase. I would get over it. Eventually.

God, I can't even lie to myself.

Come on, Bella. You're going crazy over your best guy friend! It would ruin your friendship anyways.

Maybe it was because I'd been so used to it being me and Edward with the possibility of the two of us getting together. So I should just get over it and move on. Edward would still be my friend. He'd always be my friend.

That was easier said than done.

"Bella? Bella, is that you in there?" Alice's soft voice called as she knocked gently on the door. "Bella, it's me, Alice. Are you okay? Talk to me—please."

Someone chuckled, the voice sounded deep and gravelly. I imagined it was the smoker who didn't look like anybody had been home if you know what I mean.

"Hun, men are the problem of the world. It's too bad we need them for the human race to survive." She said, and sure enough, her voice was rough and gravelly—but in a strange, attractive way.

"How do you know it's a boy?" Alice snapped. "You don't even know Bella."

"True, I don't know your friend like you do, but I know her situation. Girl has crush on boy. Boy has crush on a hotter, more popular girl. Girl runs to bathroom to cry. It's classic high school drama," she said, chuckling before quieting herself—with the cigarette, I presumed.

Alice scoffed before knocking lightly on the door. "Come on, Bells, I'm not leaving this bathroom without you."

I smiled a little. I could always count on Alice.

"I'm coming," I said, grabbing my books and unlocking the stall door. "I'm fine, Alice," I assured her untruthfully upon seeing her worried look. "Let me just wash my hands and we can leave." I wasn't going to tell her the smoker had it right, and I certainly wasn't going to tell her it was Edward I was nuts over.

Alice sighed and followed me to the sink. "What's wrong, Bella? I've never seen you like this."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed a couple of paper towels, drying my hands. "What makes you think something's wrong?" However, she was more right than she dreamed.

"You're hiding in the worst bathroom in school, in the middle of first period, on the very first day of school? You know I know better."

"It was the closest bathroom…and I wasn't hiding," I lied sternly.

"Oh really? Well then, what were you doing? Studying the cuss words inscribed on the stalls for a classroom project? I don't think so." Stupid, persistent pixie was so stubborn. Couldn't she just take the hint that I had nothing I wanted to tell her?

"No, actually, I came in here to join Miss Smokes-a-lot"—I gestured to the girl in the corner with the cigarette—"for a smoke. Care to join?" I asked sarcastically.

Alice scowled at me. "Fine, have it your way. Can we just get out of here and get to class before we're late?"

My stomach quivered nervously and my heart tugged a little in an aching way. Going to class would mean sitting in the same room with Edward and Tanya and God knows how much I did not want to do that. I had briefly considered a class change, but doing that might hurt Edward's feelings, making him think I didn't want to be with him. I didn't want to hurt Edward.

So I sighed and nodded. "Yeah. Let's go, Alice."

The sooner I got in class, the sooner it would be over.

Alice smiled a little and grabbed my hand. "Great."

As we were leaving the room, I saw the smoker from the corner of my eye, she smiled roughly at me and my heart sank at her words.

"See you next period," she told me in parting with a husky chuckle.

***

"Bella? Bella, are you alright?"

I sighed as I came in the door, already hearing Edward's anxious voice not one foot away as he walked up to me.

"I'm fine, Edward," I assured him. At least, physically I was. See, I was getting better at this half-truth thing.

"Are you sure? You…you don't look fine," he replied, touching my face. My heart squeezed and I hated it. He was quickly forming a crush on someone else and my body still had the nerve to tell me it wanted him. I hated being a teenager and I hated my hormonal reactions to my best friend.

I smiled as convincingly as I could. "I'll survive."

"So there is something wrong." His eyebrows creased.

I sighed again. "Let's just sit down."

He suddenly looked nervous and a hand went through is beautiful tousled bronze hair. "Actually, Bella, I sort of already have a seat…"

Oh, God, no.

I peeked as unnoticeably as I could over his shoulder to see his bag on the table that Tanya Denali was sitting at. She was watching Edward's back, and smiled at me when she caught me staring at her.

I didn't return the friendly gesture and glanced back to look at Edward's face again. "You're sitting with her, aren't you?" I asked, harshly, to my surprise.

He looked a little ashamed. "Well, yeah."

I dodged around him and went to sit at the unoccupied table at the back of the class. I didn't want to talk to him right now. He promised me over the week that we could sit together in English and biology. I wondered how many other promises he would break just so he could be next to Tanya Denali.

Edward followed me and sat down next to me. "Bella, listen to me…she's new here, and she needs someone to show her around. I told her I'd help her with that." He didn't sound repentant so I wasn't going to say anything to him. I stared straight ahead at the front white board, ignoring him in mute anger. I didn't want him to know how disappointed I was and if I spoke, he was sure to notice.

"Bella? Say something."

I remained silent. I couldn't let him see how much it hurt.

He growled. "Fine." My face crumpled as he gave up and stalked away to sit down next to Tanya at the front of the class. When he sat, she glanced back at me, looking worried. I saw Edward shake his head and she turned back around, slinking down in her chair a little.

My eyes started to tear a little for the first time and I pulled out my notebook as Mr. Mason called the class to his attention. Instead of writing notes on the lecture, I started writing what I felt in my heart.

I wish I could spit it out
But my mind is filled with doubt
Of how you would react
If you knew I couldn't go back
To the way we used to be
I just want you to want to be with me

I sighed as I set my pen down and closed my notebook, tuning into Mr. Mason's droning speech.

"I want you all to make a book of original poems. They have to be linked by a subject of your choice, but each poem has to be different from the others. You need at least five. Ten or more will earn extra credit. The assignment will be due in four weeks, so I suggest that the sooner you start it the better," the teacher concluded, smiling a little at us.

So, at least this would be easy for me to do. I could write about how my heart was slowly breaking and get my A+ out of the thing. At least something good could come of this. Of course, I think I'd rather take a full heart than one split in two. But as I glanced back to the front of the class to see Edward and Tanya whispering a little, my head told me that having what I wanted wasn't really a possibility anymore.

In that moment, Edward looked up and caught me staring. I quickly looked down, pretending that he didn't just catch me watching the two of them while drowning in my own pity. But even as I stared at my notebook, doodling on the corner of my page, I could feel his eyes burning a hole on my head.

Stop staring at me! I wanted to scream, my throat burning with tears that I choked down. You have her! If you can find someone, so can I! I wanted to challenge. Edward always said I was stubborn.

"Miss Denali, so nice of you to join us," Mr. Mason said suddenly, pulling me out of my pathetic thoughts. I looked up, confused. Wasn't Tanya already here? But then I saw the one named Kate and I couldn't help but feel a little stupid. Of course; there were three of them here, after all.

Kate blushed, but grinned nonetheless. "Sorry, Mr. Mason." She said, handing him a pass. "I got lost." She said.

Mr. Mason eyed her suspiciously, as if he didn't believe this simple, common mistake (heck, even I got lost sometimes), before looking down at her pass. "Alright, you're new. I'll let it slide—just this once." He said. "There's an available seat by Bella. You can sit with her. She'll explain the homework." He said.

I pressed my lips together and kept my head bent, still doodling on my notebook page.

"Thanks, Mr. Mason." Kate said, and I heard her footsteps approaching my table and I couldn't help cringe. I didn't want to deal with anything right now. "Hi, there," she greeted warmly. "Are you Bella?" she asked.

I looked up, praying I didn't look like the disaster I was. "Yeah," I nodded, forcing a smile.

"Ooh, wanna talk about it?" she asked, cringing as she sat down across from me, dropping her bag on the table beside her.

I pursed my lips. "Not really."

She shrugged. "Alright," she said indifferently. "So, what's this homework about?" she asked, going on as if she didn't just catch me at my worst.

"We're supposed to write an original book of poems. At least five, ten or more is extra credit." I said, still doodling on the corner of my notebook, forcing myself to think of something other than Edward and Tanya sitting just a few feet away from me.

Should I title my poems? Maybe I should. How am I going to get out my shopping trip with Alice this weekend? Or, maybe I shouldn't get out of it. Should I hang out with Jake instead? He plans some pretty fun stuff. What should I get Renée and Phil for Christmas?

I sighed and went back to doodling on my notebook.

***

If I thought English was bad, that was nothing compared to how lunch was. I was miserable. Tanya and Kate sat at our table and neither Edward nor Jacob could leave Tanya alone. It was absolutely ridiculous. If you asked me, I saw that Edward liked Tanya—he was so easy to read sometimes—but Jacob looked interested too. Only I knew that he saw Edward looking at her, and decided not to say anything. Jake was just a good guy that way.

However, I wished he would say something. I felt jealousy and anger so thick it was literally choking me. I couldn't breathe, and if I looked up from my tray of cafeteria mush, I was sure that the tears would fall without my permission. I wanted to wait till I was gone from Edward's side before I broke down. If I did so in public, he'd know something was wrong, and I couldn't very well tell him that I had a crush on him, that was just…stupid.

Halfway through the lunch hour, I did end up going to the bad bathroom again. The Smoker was there when I came in looking all teary eyed and depressed and she laughed at how uncannily she had predicted my situation. If it weren't for the cigarettes, she could be the next Dr. Phil or something.

Edward finally seemed to recall my existence as we entered the biology room. He'd been staring off into space since leaving Tanya back in the lunch room and I knew what this meant. They were the crush symptoms. You can't stop thinking about that person. Trust me, if anyone should know this, I should. I had a bad case.

"Bella," he said. His voice was still a little stiff towards me after our bickering in English. "You don't like Tanya, do you?"

Not like her? I hate her. "Well, I don't know her that well, so I can't really say if I do or don't." Liar. I sighed to myself, hoping Edward couldn't see through my transparency.

"I think you two would get along really well if you gave her the chance," he urged me brightly. Of course he would try to get us to like each other. After all, wasn't his game plan to marry her someday?

Even my own sarcasm was hurting me.

"Maybe," I allowed miserably, sitting down at a table and placing my hands together in front of me. Edward sat next to me and covered both of my hands with one of his. My freaking heart about broke through my chest at the contact. Why was I so crazy about him, even after knowing he could never return these feelings?

"Bella, something is wrong," he said softly, concern burning in his eyes and furrowing his brows. "Please tell me. I don't like seeing you like this."

"It's nothing, Edward," I tried to tell him. "I'm just…overwhelmed." A half truth.

He sighed and stared me straight in the eyes. My knees started to tremble and I thanked God I was sitting securely on a stool, otherwise I'd probably be on the floor twitching or something. The emerald of his eyes started melting me from the inside out, and I couldn't think straight.

I forced myself to look away. He opened his mouth to speak, but Mr. Banner came in just then and signaled the class' attention on him. And as he babbled about nothing in particular—or, maybe it was something important and I just didn't hear it—I doodled in my notebook, already knowing the things he was talking about—classroom rules and behavior and all that.

Out of the corner of my eye, through a screen of my long hair, I saw Edward slide a note over the blacktop table towards me. I felt my heart squeeze as I remembered all the times we did this and snickered when we were supposed to be paying attention to a teacher or a movie. Now he was probably going to do these kinds of things with Tanya. It will be as if I never existed...

I hesitated before reached forward and pulling the note towards me and unfolding it. Did I really want to read it?

Obviously I did, because I was opening it and reading through his familiar, elegant script—damn him. Even his handwriting made me swoon.

You know you can tell me anything, Bella.

I pursed my lips together tightly. I really wished that he would just give it up. It wasn't like I could just tell him 'Well, it's obvious you like Tanya and vice versa, but I've liked you since forever. You should be with me, not her'. That would ruin just about anything left between the two of us.

There's nothing wrong, Edward. I scribbled back before slyly passing the note across the table towards him, hoping that he would get the picture and leave me alone. This was something I discussed with Alice and Rosalie. Not Edward.

But he was persistent, of course, and slid the note back towards me.

You're a terrible liar, Bella. Even in writing.

I rolled my eyes and repressed the urge to sigh. He was mocking me, but he was mocking me in a way that was urging me to go back to before first period when we first fought.

It wasn't the first time we had gotten into a fight. No, there were other times. Not many, but a few. They'd been over ridiculous, vain reasons. There had been a serious one, though, when I was considering moving to Jacksonville with Renée and Phil. We didn't speak to one another for a whole month.

But this was different. I was crazy in love with Edward and he didn't even know it, and now he wanted to be with Tanya and I was being all jealous and mopey and pathetic.

I'm FINE. I wrote back, my pen digging so hard through the paper that the words were copied onto the blacktop table. Oops.

Maybe I'd hurt his feelings. Maybe he got angry and didn't want to talk to me. Maybe he knew why I didn't want to talk to him, and he didn't want to talk to me anymore because he liked Tanya and didn't like me the same way. I didn't know. But whatever the reason, he left me alone—to both my relief and slight horror. Normally, he wouldn't leave me alone until I told him. Why was now so different?

But I didn't write a note back. What was I going to say? 'Look, I'm sorry. I just don't want to talk to you right now because I like you a lot, but it's clear you like Tanya and you might never want to speak to me again'. I didn't think so.

For the rest of the class period, I sat quietly in my seat, doodling in my notebook and trying not to think about Edward—who was sitting next to me, looking none too happy.

***

I was dejectedly glad when it was finally the end of the school day. I walked out of the gym with forming bruises on my arms and legs, but my relief to be able to put this horrible day behind me soon enough was overwhelming and I almost felt happy. Almost. I still couldn't ignore the fact that I was slowly breaking down, but at least I could distract myself with thoughts of what I was cooking Charlie for dinner.

I knew Edward was still upset with me after I yelled at him on paper, but at least I wasn't totally unforgiven as he loped up to me while I packed my books into my backpack at my locker. He smiled hesitantly and closed my locker door as I grabbed my rain coat off of its hook.

"Um, Bella?" he said nervously as I started walking down the hall. He was following closely, but he wasn't directly beside me.

I stopped and turned. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for the way I've been acting today. Um…" he ran a hand through his hair and I felt my hands itch with the urge to do the same. I balled them into fists and pressed them to my thighs. "I know I was being pushy before biology and it really wasn't very polite of me. I'm just used to you telling me everything that bothers you and when you refused…it just made me worry."

Right then, I was completely wrapped up in the moment. Tanya didn't exist, my misery wasn't eating me alive, and Edward wasn't forgetting about our friendship.

I shrugged. "I should apologize too, Edward. I'm really sorry I can't tell you what it is, but I'm afraid you won't like me much if I do. I—" I bit down on my lip, abruptly aware I'd said too much. "I'm sorry." My eyes dropped from his and I ducked my head looking at the ground as my eyes watered slightly. There was a pencil at the toe of my shoe and I kicked it, sending it rolling across the tiled floor.

"Hey," he said softly, pinching my chin gently with his thumb and forefinger. He brought my head up slowly, giving me time to smother the tears forming in my eyes. "I just wish you'd let me help you, Bella. I'll always like you. You're my best friend."

Just his best friend. He'd always like me because I'd just be his best friend. I should've been happy that he would've confessed this, but my heart felt as if it were being ripped right up the middle. I closed my eyes briefly, trying to stifle the pain, and reopened them, regretting doing so when I felt a drop of water leak out of my right eye.

"Bella! You're crying!" Edward exclaimed in shock, wiping the tear away. "You…you shouldn't keep this from me. Whatever it is."

I pulled my chin out of his grasp and took a large step back. His close proximity was making it hard to think and I was already so confused that anything more would just be dangerous. I took a deep breath to steady my voice which I knew would shake anyway no matter what I did when I spoke.

"You should probably go now," I told him, my voice thick with unshed tears. "Tanya probably needs to be shown where the parking lot is." How I could make jokes and use sarcasm in my condition was beyond me.

"Bella?" Edward stepped towards me, looking confused.

I shook my head. "Charlie will be waiting for me." I turned and started rushing down the hall, clinging to my backpack strap tightly as it bounced against my back.

"Bella! Charlie won't even be home until five! Bella!"

I ignored the sound of Edward's desperate voice as he called out to me and hurried to the parking lot as quickly as I could without tripping on anything that would make me lose my balance. I didn't realize I was sobbing until I got into Alice's canary yellow 911 Porsche and she pulled me into her arms. I didn't feel like going home; I just wanted to curl up in a corner and cry, but I knew that if I didn't get out of here, Edward would come looking for me and find me in here. He wouldn't leave me alone if he saw tears of this magnitude falling from my eyes.

So, with my voice heavy with tears, I told Alice to take me home and watched as she sped through the parking lot. I saw Edward's face as we drove through the parking lot and his bewildered expression was enough to put me over the edge.

I didn't stop crying even when I got home. Alice insisted that she take me somewhere else, but I wanted—needed—to be alone. I needed to have my thoughts all to myself.

"Do you want me to pick you up tomorrow morning?" she asked gently as I got ready to open the door.

I hesitated before nodding. "Yeah," I said before quickly hurrying out of the car and up to the front door.

***

I took a deep breath and cut out a piece of lasagna with a knife, plopping it on Charlie's dinner plate with a slice of garlic bread as I did so. I could hear my father in the living room booing and cheering at the television as he watched one of the first football games of the season. I wished that my life was as simple as Charlie's.

Wake up. Eat. Go to work. Come home. Eat. TV. Sleep.

I was jealous. Instead, I had all this drama in my life and I had no idea how to deal with it. If I didn't know better, I'd say I was on the set of a cheesy teenage soap opera.

The phone rang for the millionth time since I got home as I set Charlie's plate on the table. I ignored it. After looking at it the first time and recognizing the number belonging to a certain crush of mine, I decided not to pick it up. I let the answering machine do my job.

"Hey, this is Bella and Charlie. Sorry we can't pick up the phone now, but leave your name and number, and we'll call you back when we can! Thanks!" My voice mocked me from the machine and I grimaced at it as it beeped, telling the caller to start leaving his or her message. In this case, it was a guy.

"Bella? Bella, I know your there. Bella, I hate this. I need you to talk to me. The thing that's driving me crazy is that I don't even know why you're mad at me. Did I do something wrong? Bella, please, I'm sick of talking to this machine; I need to hear your voice. Please pick up, Bella."

I tried to pretend that it wasn't Edward. I tried to pretend he didn't sound so desperate. I tried…but I failed. His voice made my eyes tear up again and I hoped that Charlie would want to finish the game before coming into the kitchen to eat. I didn't want him to see me like this. Not over Edward.

I didn't reach towards the phone. I wanted to make him happy and take away his worry, but I couldn't talk to him until I'd come up with a way to make him believe that I was okay. Even if I wasn't.

Edward sighed. "You can't hide from me forever, Bella. We will talk about this. I'll see you tomorrow."

And then, the message ended.

Charlie and I ate dinner in companionable silence. I was glad that it was Charlie and not Renee sitting across from me now. God only knows how painful that situation would have been. I was mostly able to keep a decently happy expression on my face as I stuffed huge bites of scalding lasagna into my mouth, but Charlie seemed too preoccupied to notice my gorging and left the table to finish the game, bringing his garlic bread with him.

I sighed. Charlie had it so easy in life.

I cleared up the table, put the leftovers away, and washed the dishes with exaggerated slowness so that I could think about doing something rather than let my mind dwell on the one thing I wished I could forget most. When I couldn't delay any longer, I called goodnight to Charlie and went upstairs to get ready for bed. I figured that if I concentrated on each little thing, then maybe I could hold off on the inevitable even longer.

So I showered. My strawberry scented shampoo made me feel calmer and like everything was normal again. Translation: no Tanya. I felt like maybe I hadn't had the worst day of my life today. Of course, when I stepped out of the shower and looked into the mirror to see my face, I knew that I wasn't hiding my pain as much as I should.

I brushed my teeth and hair quickly, wanting to get away from the sad image of myself. No wonder Edward was so worried; I looked like Charlie just died or something.

Finally, I was in bed and under the covers, curled up on my side while I hugged my knees to my chest. I really did try to force myself to sleep but Edward couldn't evade my mind for long. For one thing, I always thought about him because he was my best friend. We did everything together and I couldn't imagine life without him. Now that I was crushing so hard…he was even more impossible to forget. Except it wasn't the best friend part of him that I was thinking about.

I thought about the way his eyes glowed when he smiled and that perfect flash of white teeth. I thought about his beautiful auburn hair and how much I wanted to touch it. I thought about his face, so flawlessly constructed. I know that Edward touches my face all the time, but he's used to doing that. If I'd ever touch his face, it would mean more than just where our relationship stood now. With Tanya in the picture, it looked like I would never be able to satisfy the craving to brush my fingers along his cheek just once.

I was surprised to find that I was crying. My body shook with tremors of pain and I tried to curl in on myself tighter to stop it from hurting so bad. Who knew that Edward could make me feel so good and so bad at the same time? I wanted to stop feeling this agony, but there was no way to do that.

"Edward," I whispered in a sob, just so I could hear his name aloud. "You're breaking my heart."

And how I wish I had the strength to tell him.

Nicole:

Alright, chapter two! We really hope you guys enjoyed it. Bella's pain is our pain. Taylor and I really get into writing all this BxE heartbreak stuff. We hope you guys get as into it as we do. We're sorry the updates are taking a few days, but you'd be surprised at how much writer's block I have. Hey, don't forget to leave a review. We love hearing from you guys! I've replied to a few of them. Don't worry, we won't bite! Critique is welcome, too!! Just no flaming. That's retarded. Taylor, anything to add?

Taylor :

Er, not really, Nicole xD You pretty much said it all. Although I would like to say I'm really happy with some of my readers from my other account who have come to read this. You guys made me so, so, so, so happy. It's like I already have fans who read most, if not all, my work. Really, truly, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope that you few become a fan of this account too, because Nicole's writing style is way awesome, and I think we blend together well. Anyways, leave a review...or don't. Whatever you please. We'll post again soon!