Joe sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. The chamber pot was conveniently near, but he didn't want to use it. He was tired of having to depend on others to help him with his most basic needs. He was tired of having to sleep in "the sick room," as he and Hoss had called it when they were boys. He was tired of Adam or Hop Ling carrying him, and he was tired of having to use the wheelchair. Slowly he pushed himself up from the bed, all his weight on his hands. He planted his feet firmly and stood up - but only for a moment. He was too weak to stand, and he fell to the floor. "Damn!"

The bedroom door swung open and Eric stood there. "Did you say a bad word, Uncle Joe? Mama will make you put money in the swear jar if you said a bad word. I had to put my whole life savings in it once, and it was awful. Don't worry - I won't tell on you."

Joe sat on the floor. "I'm sorry, Eric. I didn't realize you were there. Your mother's right - no one should use bad language."

Adam appeared behind his son. "Joe, are you all right?" He came in and lifted the younger man easily. "Where to? What were you trying to do?"

"I - nothing...just put me down anywhere." Joe was frustrated, but he didn't want to take it out on Adam.

Adam set him in the chair, and turned to Eric. "Go see if your mother has the coffee ready, son."

Eric ran away, and Adam shut the door. "Now tell me the truth, Joe, what were you trying to do?"

"Walk." It sounded so simple, and yet he couldn't do it.

Adam knelt beside him. "Joe, I know it's easy for me to say, and I know what it's like to be in that chair, but you've got to remember, buddy, you were shot and operated on less than a week ago. You lost a lot of blood and you've still got to make it up. And, Joe, you're real run down. You and Pa both - you've been grieving, not taking good care of yourselves or each other, and you're not going to bounce back like you did when you were a kid. You're going to walk and ride, but you've got to give it time, buddy."

Joe stared at Adam, thinking how little times and people changed. Adam was speaking to him the same reasonable tone of voice he'd used when Joe was a youngster and Adam was an adult . He wanted to snap at him, but he knew everything his brother said was true.

There was a knock and Joe called, "Come in."

Hop Sing opened the door and entered, followed by Hop Ling. "Adam, your coffee is ready. Hop Ling and I will tend to Joe now."

Adam left and Hop Sing frowned at Joe. "I heard you fall. Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine, thanks."

"You continue to behave like a child, Joe. You must take care of yourself. Your family needs you, and you have a great responsibility to them." He continued to lecture Joe while Hop Ling moved him to the bed and helped him roll on his stomach. Together Hop Sing and Hop Ling removed the bandages and cleaned Joe's wounds. The herb-infused water stung, but Hop Sing's words hurt more because Joe knew they were true. When he and Hop Ling had finished and Joe was in a clean nightshirt and robe, Hop Sing stood back and said, "Hop Ling will put you in the wheelchair and you will go to the table. You will eat breakfast with your family and reassure Mr. Cartwright about your health."

Joe knew better than to argue, and he put his arm around Hop Ling's neck as the younger man lifted him over to the chair. He rolled himself out to the dining alcove, and Ben looked so happy to see Joe join them at the table he forgot his feelings of humiliation. Hop Sing served him a bowl of oatmeal, and Joe gave it a disgusted look.

Elizabeth laughed. "Poor Uncle Joe. I can make it better for you." She got up and came around to him. "Just add a little honey and some of Bessie's milk." As she spoke, she prepared the hot cereal for him and smiled.

"Thank you, darling," Joe said, and she returned to her seat.

"Now if we're ready..." Ben said, and asked the blessing.

Joe ate his oatmeal quietly and was thinking of other things when he realized everyone was looking at him. "I'm sorry, Pa. My mind was wandering, and I didn't catch what you said."

"I was wondering if you'd be willing to work with Adam on the books today. I want to go into town."

"Sure, Pa."

Ben had been certain that Joe would argue - he knew his son hated bookwork, but it had to be done and Joe needed to learn. With that decided, he turned to Julia. "And what are you going to do today, my dear?"

"We're going to have lessons this morning, Papa, and then the boys will have a riding lesson this afternoon."

"What about Beth?" Joe asked. "She should learn to ride if she's going to live here."

Julia and Adam exchanged a look, and then Adam said, "Joe, Elizabeth isn't strong enough to ride yet. There's plenty of time for her to learn."

Even though she knew she shouldn't speak without being spoken to, Elizabeth said, "But, Papa, I want to learn. Uncle Joe said Mama is the greatest lady he knows and she rides."

Julia looked at her daughter. "Elizabeth Catherine Cartwright, are you arguing with your father?"

The little girl looked down at her bowl. "I'm sorry, Papa."

Joe felt sorry for the child, but he couldn't disagree with her parents, at least not in front of her.

When breakfast was over, Adam and Joe went over to the office alcove. Ben put on his hat, coat, and gunbelt, and stopped to say goodbye before he left for town. "Is there anything I can bring you, either of you?"

"Nothing, Pa, thank you," Adam said.

"Would you see if Will has any new books, Pa? He told me he expected a new shipment early this week, and there may be something there we haven't read."

"Certainly, son."

Ben left and Adam looked at his brother in surprise. "Since when did you start reading anything but dime novels ?"

Joe regarded his brother calmly. "It's been ten years, Adam, and we've both changed. You've lost your hair, and I've lost my taste for cheap sensation."

Adam's jaw dropped in surprise and Joe laughed. Adam opened the ledgers and they got to work.

...

Elizabeth stood near the corral, watching as her father gave Abel and Eric a riding lesson. Eric was on Buttermilk, a pony that Adam had purchased a few days before while Abel was astride Miss Betsy, an old horse who moved fast only when she saw her feedbag.

As the boys rode slowly around the corral, Adam saw Elizabeth. "What are you doing?"

"Just watching the lesson, Papa," Elizabeth said.

"Go sit on the porch with Uncle Joe," Adam ordered. "It's too dusty out here for you."

Joe watched as the little girl walked reluctantly towards him. She sat down next to him, and picked up her sewing.

"That's a pretty color, Beth. What is it going to be?" Joe asked.

"A doll's dress," she answered, her eyes still on the boys.

He decided to question her a bit more. "Why doesn't your father want you near the corral?"

Elizabeth sighed and put down the dress. "Last winter when I was sick, the doctor told Papa and Mama that dust and soot were bad for my lungs. When I was better, I went back to school. We were playing outside one afternoon and it was windy. One of my playmates, Lucy, threw up a handful of dirt and said, "it's snowing!" The dirt - dust - I breathed it in and then I couldn't catch my breath. I was scared and I couldn't breathe, and Miss Blake sent for Papa. He carried me all the way home, and he and Mama put me to bed and sent for the doctor." She gave Joe a pitiful look.

"Have you had any coughing spells since you've been here, Beth?"

She shook her head. "No, I heard Mama say it's because the air is pure. I love Mama and Papa, and I know I should obey them, but I'm so much better, Uncle Joe. I can feel it!" She picked up the dress again, and Joe watched as she stabbed the cloth with the needle as if it were an enemy.

"Put the sewing aside, Beth, and let's go for a walk." She put the dress down, and followed Joe down the ramp and around to the garden. Joe rolled his chair up and down the paths, and told the child the herbs and vegetables planted there.

"You know an awful lot, Uncle Joe," Elizabeth commented.

"Hop Sing taught me and so did your Uncle Hoss." He turned and looked at her. "You never got to meet him, did you?" She shook her head, and Joe went on, "I'm sorry about that because my big brother was a man worth knowing."

"I thought Papa was your big brother," Elizaebth said.

Joe grinned at her. "Your Papa is my older brother, Beth. Hoss was bigger than both of us - taller and broader - so he was the big brother.

"Oh," Elizabeth smiled. "Uncle Joe, who taught Uncle Hoss about plants and things?"

Joe took a deep breath and thought for a moment. "Well, Hop Sing, of course, and there was Gaho. When your Papa and Uncle Hoss were boys, Adam was friends with a Paiute boy, Little Wolf. Hoss told me he used to try to follow Adam and Little Wolf everywhere, but he was a lot younger and couldn't keep up. Gaho was Little Wolf's mother, and she'd take Hoss with her when she went to gather plants and herbs to use for cooking and medicines. He learned a lot from her, and then he read a lot about plants and herbs, too." He grinned at Elizabeth. "You know once your Uncle Hoss and I were caught out in a snowstorm with nothing to eat and he found us mesquite beans and boiled them so we didn't starve."

Elizabeth's eyes were round. "You lived off the land?"

"Yes, ma'am, we did." Joe laughed at the memory.

"Did they taste good?" She really wanted to know.

Joe shook his head. "No, honey, they were awful, but they kept us going. I'd have been in a bad fix without Hoss."

She was quiet for a moment and then she asked shyly, "Do you miss him, Uncle Joe?"

"Every day, darling, but he's always with me." Joe smiled at her. "He'd have loved you."

"Could he ride, Uncle Joe?"

"Yes, he was real good with animals, the best of anyone in the territory. He once kept me and Adam waiting on supplies for a roundup while he stayed with a mare about to foal."

They were quiet, and then Elizabeth climbed into his lap and put her arms around his neck. "I like hearing stories about Uncle Hoss. Thank you for telling me, Uncle Joe."

Joe wrapped his arms around the little girl and kissed her forehead. "I like talking about him, Beth. Thank you for listening."