A/N Hi, thank you for so many encouraging words after the first chapter! I really hope this story won't disappoint you, though I'm not entirely content with the following chapter. The plotline in this update is based on true facts (according to an article that I read some time ago on .uk, where I drew inspiration for the chapter).
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"Hey, you're ready to go."
Meredith turned her head with a smile to see Derek standing at the door to her office. She put her research papers into her briefcase clasping it shut.
"You're not," she remarked at his scrubs.
"I've just got paged for a consult," he sighed. "I'll follow you home when I'm finished."
"Okay," she moved up to him between boxes of files stacked in her tiny workspace and climbed onto her tiptoes to press a soft kiss to his nose. "I'll pick up the kids from Dad's and Molly's and I guess…" she made a dramatic roll with her eyes, "I'll start tidying up, you've wriggled out of it, mister."
"Uhm, you can wait for me with cleaning."
"The house looks like warzone, dirty dishes, lots of trash… I need to take care for that before I let the animals on the rampage."
"You mean the kids or the kitten and the puppy?" chuckled Derek.
"Both," she snorted.
"Speaking of warzone," began Derek cautiously. "I know something else that resembles one…"
Her eyes involuntarily swept over her office. It seemed to have somehow shrunk magically over the three years. Her trials demanded a lot of paperwork and documentation. The closet that was installed soon ceased to make any difference and now a lot of files were stocked in carton boxes.
"Why do I get the feeling that we're going back to the subject I assumed was closed?" she asked with a sigh.
"Because you'd be much more comfortable in the new office," he argued seriously. "There's more space, more light."
"But I don't want to change offices," she insisted putting her hands on her hips. "I like my office. It's… cozy, and I'm always close to you," she grinned putting her arms around his neck. "I don't need a new office."
"That's why you're using mine when all those foreign guests come to see you?" he lifted his eyebrows expectantly.
"I don't receive guests every day," she shrugged. "Now… what is the adjective you use most often to describe me?"
"Beautiful?" he sent her a dreamy smile. "Sexy?"
"Unfortunately not," she scrunched her nose. "You say I'm feisty and stubborn so I really don't think there's any point in bringing this ever again. I'll see you at home."
She gave him a teasing kiss and hurried down the corridor of their department.
Derek folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the doorframe with a sigh. He studied her office reluctantly. He was the one to choose it for her. Back then it was convenient. There weren't any other spaces available, Meredith didn't have such a strong medical renown, and the office assured the much needed proximity when he tried to win her back.
However, things changed over the last three years, every of the mentioned factors did. Meredith was his and it was never going to change, ever. She was also a medical celebrity, whose legend seemed to rival that of her mother and certainly outpaced his. And a few months ago, Richard made a surprise for her, a shiny new office with everything one could dream of. Seattle Grace was back in the saddle and her input in the progress was outstanding. A new comfy place to work was the least Grace could offer her in return, apart from the pay rise of course. It was also a screaming necessity regarding the guests from all over the world coming to review her work, meet her in person, have an interview…
But, Meredith blatantly refused to move. She said she was good in her old office and Derek knew well enough why. If they weren't in the OR or with their patients, they worked a few steps apart and didn't it come in handy. They could talk any time, discuss who was to take children from daycare or go shopping, and of course… they could make other uses of their offices that the Chief probably shouldn't ever know.
Derek had thought it was a perfect situation until… one day a worry crept up into his mind and never left, a feeling of guilt he never admitted to his wife. It came out of a sudden, after reading one of Meredith's publications. She was called "the hope of modern neurology" in the article. And then he glanced at her cramped office… and felt as old as never before. He felt as if he was tying her down, as if she was stuck with him at Seattle Grace. She had no perspectives for her career, he was blocking her. To put it bluntly, he knocked her up, married her and then made her another child. If it hadn't been for him, she could have been a department head a long time ago, now maybe even higher on the career ladder. These musings made him feel guilty all over again, this time towards his children. Mike and Bessie were his most precious treasures, he never regretted having them. So, he usually stifled those feelings altogether, trying to be the best husband and father he could.
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Meredith hurtled through the lobby chuckling to herself thinking how much damage the houses of her father and her sister could have sustained thanks to her sugar-high children. She felt warm around her heart, she definitely needed to talk to Derek tonight. Maybe he'd stop grumbling about irrelevant things if they engaged in making babies.
She was broken out of her pregnant reverie by a sight that struck her as strange. Izzie was walking a couple of meters before her in the lobby. She looked like she was taking to someone, looking sideways and nodding her head but… no one was walking beside her. Meredith frowned for an instant but then shrugged. Maybe she was talking on the phone with an earpiece? You could see people using hands free sets all the time, looking like they were talking to themselves.
She stared too long and didn't see Bailey walking straight into her carrying a stack of charts.
"Watch it, Shepherd!" grumbled Miranda as the charts scattered around.
"Sorry!" Meredith bit her lip and bent to help her to pick everything up. She glanced at her colleague and was surprised to notice hardly perceptible red rings under her eyes.
"Is… everything alright, Dr. Bailey?" she asked carefully.
"Great," Miranda straightened and put her load on the counter. "Except from the part when my husband threatens to leave me if I spend more hours at the hospital doing another specialty."
"Oh, it can't be that bad, right?" frowned Meredith standing beside her. "You were good together yesterday at the party."
"Yeah, for about that 40 minutes we came for," sighed Bailey.
"You'll work it out," said Meredith reassuringly with a small smile. "You always do, you're Dr. Bailey."
Bailey narrowed her eyes at her, "That dreamy husband of yours has rubbed off on you too much."
Meredith let out a small laugh. "Seriously, if I can be happy both with my job and my personal life, you'll know how to do it too."
"And how do you do it?" asked Bailey pensively. "Whichever choice I might take feels like a sacrifice."
Meredith breathed deeply, "Then… you have to think what is going to make you sacrifice less… and it will stop to feel like a sacrifice over time."
Miranda gave her a long look and shook her head, "When did you became such a smartass?"
"I'm no smartass," grinned Meredith. "I never thought I'd be the one to say it but talking through your problems is the best way. Sometimes, I think I talk more than Derek now."
"I've got to talk with Tucker for more than five minutes without a fight…" sighed Miranda.
"Either that or…" Meredith's grinned turned mischievous.
"Don't finish that," Miranda lifted her eyes to the ceiling and grabbed her charts to hurry away.
Meredith giggled slightly and yelp when she remembered she should be on her way to Molly's.
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"What are you two plotting about, huh?" asked Meredith opening the door and letting her offspring into the house.
"Nothing, Mommy!" giggled Bessie. "Mikey can't choose the name for the puppy!"
"You didn't name him yet?" Meredith put her briefcase down ruffling her son's black locks. "We have to find some nice name to teach him. We'll think about it together and you'll pick what you like best, ok, Sweetie?"
" 'Kay, Mommy," nodded Michael and trotted after the sniffing puppy.
"Just watch where you're going," Meredith called after her children. "There's mess everywhere. I'm going to clean it up in a sec!"
She sighed, and thought what she should do first.
"Bess, don't let your brother alone, okay?"
She walked down to the laundry room and selected the clothes of similar colors to wash.
"Lucy, go away," she turned the grayish kitten away. "Look for Bessie, go."
Where the hell are Derek's instructions?She scratched her head looking for the little paper on which her thoughtful husband scribbled how to turn on the washing machine; another task beside cooking that still caused problems for her. She closed the door to the machine and pressed two buttons biting on her bottom lip in concentration. She smiled with relief when it set off smoothly.
She then collected all the dirty plates, cups and glasses and loaded them into the dishwasher. She dusted the furniture and started the vacuum cleaner. Pushing the coach, she swept the floor, spotting a piece of paper peeking out. Before she lowered herself to pick it up, Bessie ran to the room with a concerned face.
"Mommy! I can't find Lucy anywhere!"
"I'm sure she's somewhere here," Meredith said soothingly.
"But Mommy, I looked everywhere!" she exclaimed with a tiny voice.
"Lucy is a cat, Bess," explained Meredith. "She likes to walk her own ways. You'll see she's going to pop out soon from around some corner. She's somewhere in the house, I saw her in the laundry room ."
Bessie sighed dramatically, "But I want her now!"
"Love, Lucy is not your possession," Meredith went on patiently. "You have to accept what she likes. She's your friend, right?"
"I guess," nodded reluctantly Bessie.
"Good girl, go back to Mikey in the meantime. You can play with him and our unnamed dog."
"Wow!" Bessie's eyes went wide. "I just thought! He's the dog who must not be named!"
"Bessie," Meredith said in a warning.
"Mommy, please!" Bessie battled her eyelids innocently rocking from side to side. "Everyone in the daycare knows Harry Potter!"
"I'm sure not everyone," said Meredith. "What I told about going back to your brother?"
"I'm going," grumbled Bessie recognizing her defeat.
Meredith sighed and shoved the coach back into its usual place. She and Derek read first three Harry Potter books to Bessie and Meredith refused to let her daughter know the remaining four. They discussed it with Derek on numerous occasions, the topic resurfacing every now and then due to Bessie's constant pestering. But Meredith was adamant, starting from the Goblet of Fire the books went darker and darker. Bessie was too young for that.
Five minutes later, Bessie was back at her heels, this time dragging Mikey with her.
"Mommy!"
"Yes, Sweetie?" asked Meredith opening the dishwasher.
"Is that true that dogs can find people who can't be finded?" she shot eagerly.
"If they're trained, yes, I think so."
"You think dogs could find a cat?" inquired Bessie.
"Honey, I told you Lucy will come back," said Meredith.
"But the dog who must not be named stopped at the door to the laundry, Mom! Lucy can be there!"
"Okay, we'll check. I might have locked her inside," acquiesced Meredith and set off, her children following closely behind. She opened the door and the spotted puppy quickly ran inside the room sniffing the floor.
"Look for Lucy, doggie!" ordered Bessie hopefully. "Look for Lucy!"
Meredith walked around the room carefully looking in every nook. Truth to be told, there weren't many to check.
"I don't think Lucy's here, Sweetie," said Meredith crouching beside her children. "The pup's too young to-"
"Look, Mommy!" Mikey pointed at the dog who was screeching at the working washing machine.
"Mommy, what if Lucy's here?" Bessie yelled with distress.
"She can't be here…" Meredith shook her head. The thought was ridiculous. Yet… Meredith gulped heavily. The kitten was in the room when she put their dirty clothes inside. What if… what if…
"Oh, crap!" she muttered and pressed the pause button on the machine praying life wasn't that cruel.
She opened the door, the content of the machine spilling on her feet with bubbling water.
"Stay away, Sweetie," warned Meredith, looking through the soaked items of clothing, her face mask of concentration. And then… her eyes fished out a furry rug…
"Oh, my God…" muttered weakly Meredith sinking to her knees. She picked up the kitten, her tail and paws hanging inertly down.
"Mommy!" Bessie wailed on top of her lungs. "Lucy's not moving! Why isn't she moving?!"
Meredith stared blankly at the little animal on her lap… Lucy was all cold, and she couldn't detect the pulse…
"Mommy, what's wrong with Lucy?" yelled Bessie, tears springing to her eyes. "What's wrong?"
Meredith's heart constricted, it looked like she had washed her daughter's kitten to death…
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"I don't know what I'm doing wrong, man," grumbled Mark getting out of his car he parked right after Derek's. "What's so wrong that I'm doing that she doesn't want to move forward with me?"
"You think Meredith's gonna tell you? Just like that?" Derek snorted disbelievingly leading him into the house.
"She's Lexie's sister for the love of God," answered Mark. "I bet they tell each other girly stuff; like comparing penis sizes or sex positions."
"Ah, and that equals relationship advice," chuckled Derek coming in. "Mer, I'm home! Mark's staying for dinner!"
They were met with silence.
"Strange," remarked Mark. "The midgets are always running to the door."
They halted in the middle of the hall listening for any sound when they heard muffled crying.
"Oh, God," muttered Derek, his face blanching. He speeded down the steps with Mark, anxiety taking over his body.
He pushed the door to the laundry wide open and stood rooted to the spot taking in the curious sight. His wife and daughter were crying wildly while his son observing them with interest. Fortunately, they seemed safe and sound.
"Looks like the kitten snuffed it," threw in Mark with a wince.
Meredith only cried harder while Derek scowled at his friend and quickly stepped to his wife's kneeled form.
"Meredith, what happened?" he asked stroking he wet cheek with his thumb eyeing the listless cat in her hands.
"Daddy! Lucy's not moving!" screamed Bessie.
"Mark, can you?" Derek asked quietly pointing at his kids.
"Yeah, sure," he nodded, scooped Mike up in his arms and led heartbroken Bess out of the room. "Come on, you're gonna play with Uncle Mark now."
"Lucy!" yelled Bessie trying to wrench her hand out of his.
"Mommy and Daddy are gonna take care of her," he assured calmly and closed the door behind them.
"Meredith, what is going on?" asked Derek scanning the room. "What happened to Lucy?"
"I…" she choked between violent sobs. "I… washed her…"
"You… washed her?" repeated slowly Derek and then it hit him, the open washing machine, their wet clothes strewn over the floor. "Like… in the washing machine?"
"It was an accident!" she cried leaning into his chest. "I didn't see when she got in! God, I killed my daughter's pet!"
"Shhh, Mer, calm down," he said. The situation would be comical if the kitten hadn't ended up dead, the kitten that Bessie absolutely adored.
He gingerly took Lucy from Meredith's hand, examining the tiny cold body.
"Mer," he said quickly. "I think she's still alive."
"What?" she breathed out, her eyes lighting up with hope.
"She has a pulse, weak, but it's there," he muttered lifting one eyelid gingerly. "She's in hypothermia."
"Oh, God, we have to go the clinic," Meredith got to her feet in the speed of lighting and taking a dry towel. "I'll never forgive myself-"
"She'll be fine," Derek cut her across and helped her wrap around the ice-cold kitten. "Keep her close to you, I'll drive."
"Mark, you'll stay with them, okay?" threw hurriedly Derek when the emerged in the hall. "We're taking Lucy to the vet."
"Sure," nodded Mark. "The kitty's still breathing? Guys, you should have your own reality show," he chuckled. "The crazy sex and now the freak animal accidents, it would be a hit."
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Derek and Meredith who was clutching Lucy tightly to her chest, entered the veterinary clinic in a hurry. Derek only hoped breaking the speed limits on the way would pay off.
They ran up to the woman sitting behind the counter in the reception area and Meredith blurted out, "Good evening, we had an accident, I mean, our cat had an accident-"
"We usually go to Dr. Powell," added helpfully Derek before his wife's rambling exploded.
"Oh, I'm sorry," said the woman. "You haven't been notified? Dr. Powell moved from Seattle two weeks ago. All his patients were transferred to the new co owner."
"Is he in today?"
"Yeah, yeah," she nodded. "But he's with patient right now, if you-"
"It's an emergency!" exclaimed Meredith feverishly. "Our cat's hypothermic!"
"Please," asked Derek with an apologetic smile. "It's our daughter's pet."
"Okay," she gave up. "Wait here, okay? I'll take the cat up."
"It's a two month molly, vaccinated," hurried Meredith.
"And what happened to her?"
"I… I…" stammered Meredith embarrassedly.
"She got washed in the washing machine," finished Derek.
"By accident!" hissed Meredith.
"Right," nodded the woman raising her eyebrows and walking off to one of the rooms.
"You didn't have to tell her that!" Meredith grumbled folding her arms across her chest. She just noticed other people waiting for a visit with their animal friends, all were eyeing her surreptitiously.
Derek planted his arm around her waist and led her towards the chairs.
"Now I look like an animal abuser!" she hissed. "They could jail me for that!"
"Meredith, don't exaggerate," he said gently. "You know I had to tell what really happened. Think like a doctor."
She rested her head on his shoulder with a sigh. "Right now I'm thinking like a mother," she whispered. "She was absolutely crushed. What if Lucy dies? Bess doesn't understand what it means to die."
"Then we'll explain her," he said pressing a kiss to her head.
"She's just five-years-old," argued Meredith.
"But she's growing, she's a smart girl," replied soothingly Derek.
"It feels like we're going back to the Harry Potter argument," she sighed. "Bess has already nagged me about it today."
Derek didn't have the time to argue as the room in which disappeared their pet opened, a man with a dog left and seconds after him the receptionist, waving a hand at them.
"You can come in," she ushered them. "Your kitten's being taken care of right now. You have a chart here, right? Your name is?"
"Shepherd," threw Derek and followed Meredith into the room, accidentally bumping into her as she stopped abruptly. And then he heard one of the most hated names in the world.
"Finn!" exclaimed Meredith.
True, the man lifted his blond and looked at them, at Meredith, with wide eyes.
"Meredith," his eyes flicked behind her, "Derek."
"Er, hi," breathed out Meredith.
"Hi…" he stared at her for a minute. "Uhm, is this… your cat?" he asked with apparent astonishment.
"Er, yeah, that's Lucy, is she gonna be alright?"
Finn directed his attention back towards his patient.
"I had to apply the active internal rewarming," explained Finn. "But she's stable now-"
"Circulation of heated fluids?" asked Derek dryly folding his arms.
"Yeah, and intravenous injection," nodded Finn. "How much time was she in the water?"
"Uhm, about… about half of the programmed time," she muttered quietly. "Some forty minutes."
Finn chuckled, "And you… washed her…?"
"I swear it was an accident!" Meredith wrung her fingers.
"Only you, Meredith," Finn shook his head and laughed but was immediately sobered by the hostile expression on Derek's face.
"So, you're…" he looked at them curiously.
"Married," provided quickly Derek, placing an arm around her shoulder. "Three years in November."
"Oh, really?" asked Finn, his eyebrows raised. "Congratulations."
They would probably fall into a huge awkward silence if the receptionist hadn't knocked on the door.
"Mr. Shepherd? Could I ask you to sign some forms?"
He looked reluctantly at Meredith, his jaw set. He was clearly leading some internal struggle, unwilling to leave his wife with her ex.
"Go," she patted his arm. "I'll stay with Lucy."
"Sorry… for that," Meredith looked at Finn apologetically after his departure. "He's just…"
"As jealous about you as ever?" he chuckled. "It's okay. So, I guess I'd been wrong," he trailed off quietly, not looking at her and busying himself with examining the cat.
"Wrong?" frowned Meredith.
"Honestly, I didn't think you two would make it," he muttered.
"Oh," she remembered the last words she exchanged with Finn after she ended things with him. "Uhm, you were right."
He looked up at her again with a frown.
"He did hurt me, and then I hurt him," she sighed. "We kept hurting each other until we stopped and decided to make each other happy. And now we are," she smiled softly. "And… how have you been?"
"Good," he answered with a little shrug of his shoulders. "I've concentrated mostly on my job-"
The door opened widely again and Derek strolled in with a scowl.
"Everything's okay?" asked Meredith.
"Absolutely," he replied shortly.
Finn cleared his throat uncomfortably, "So, it looks like your kitten is going to be okay but I'll need to keep her overnight."
"Is that really necessary?" asked promptly Derek.
"Derek!" Meredith elbowed him in the ribs. "I think it's necessary if Finn says so."
"Don't get me wrong," he smirked. "It's not really our kitten, it's more like our daughter's kitten. She's really attached to her pet and now she's probably worried sick."
"I see," Finn cast his eyes down. "I'm sorry, I just want to make sure that Lucy's okay. You'll be able to pick her up tomorrow."
"Thanks for your help, Finn," said quickly Meredith. "We'll be here tomorrow."
"Yeah, we'll stop by with our kids on our way from the hospital," added smugly Derek before his wife dragged him out rolling her eyes.
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"It was a crazy day," sighed Meredith with a tired smile, slipping into bed next to Derek later that night. She rested her head on his chest, directly over his heart. That was when she felt the safest in the world.
"Yeah," he chuckled. Meredith managed to talk him out of the grumbling mood after the unexpected meeting with Finn, and the vet was currently out of his mind. "And we can't ever blame the craziness on the kids this time."
"Mhm, I want more," she whispered warmly breathing him in.
"More what, craziness?" he quipped.
"Nope, genius. I meant kids, I want to have another child," she smiled into the dark.
With her head practically on his lungs, she could recognize a change in his respiration. His breath hitched and then he slowly released the air, though his heart beat faster.
"You… since when?" he asked quietly.
Meredith frowned slightly, her fingers gently fisting on his tee. This was not the reaction she anticipated. She expected him to be happy; he was the family man.
"I've been thinking about it for the last few weeks," said cautiously Meredith. "More so the last few days and I've thought it's a good time.
"Are… are you sure?" he breathed.
"Yes, of course I'm sure. I want to be pregnant again. Don't you?"
"I…" he trailed off.
She sat up suddenly. "Look, if you don't want more of my crappy babies just say so. You don't have to rack your brains for lame excuses-"
"Meredith," he cupped her face with his palms. "I want your babies, all of them. I love our children more than anything, you know that. And if you're sure you want more, I do too."
"You do?" she relaxed snuggling back against him.
"Of course, he sighed. "I love you."
"I love you too," she mumbled into his neck, her hand wandering lazily down his chest.
"You know, it's hot. I'll go get myself a glass of water," he said getting up from the bed. "Be right back."
" 'Kay," she yawned and sank into the pillow peacefully, not even realizing that the last time she announced to him that she wanted to have a baby again, he was eager to take her on the desk in his office, whereas now he swiftly left the intimate confines of their marital bedroom.
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As always, I'm looking forward to hearing from you. Your feedback can help me make this story better, so I'm open to all suggestions and constructive criticism.
Have a nice weekend!
Em
P.S. I've just realized, the next chapter will probably be posted after the season premiere… Yay!
P.S. 2 In response to one of your questions, don't worry, Meredith isn't going to suffer from Alzhaimer's or any serious medical condition. She just forgot about the letter because she had more pressing matters on her mind.