Where are you Godric? I'm here in Dallas at the Hotel Carmilla with Bill and Sookie, trying to find you. I'm hoping she can find you but so far nothing has happened. I've been called baby by a woman who wanted me to suck her blood. As I'm sure you know there is no thrill any more in feeding from the willing, at least for me. Thank God that Lorena, Bill's maker, showed up. She saw right through my lies, but then again I've never been any good at lying. Just the other night I had to confess to Bill the reason that you were so important to me. He understands the maker connection but he doesn't truly get how much you mean to me.

I can't believe I'm turning to Isabel and Stan for help. I know that Stan wants your position and I wonder if he did something to you. And Hugo, Isabel's human, I'm not sure I trust him either. I think you would be proud of me, using Lorena to get Sookie for myself. She wanted to know what made me think that she even wanted Bill back. I was so tempted to tell her that I could see it in her eyes but had to play it cool. I told her she wouldn't come all this way to see me. She pointed out how long it has been since she has seen Bill Compton so I lied to her. I told her I haven't seen you in even longer and that I'm still loyal to you. I could see that she was thinking of the past and took this time to relax.

I wonder what you'll think of the fact that I cut my hair short. I wonder how someone like you could be taken. For the first time since you have made me I'm scared. I'm scared to lose you. I know I never told you this but you mean so much to me Godric.

I knew that Lorena would be distracting Bill so while I waited to hear from Sookie and Hugo I called Pam, back home in Louisiana. I wanted her to go tell Lafayette that he is getting back into the business of selling V. I know it's going to mess with his head but I have a reason for doing so. Now I have nothing to do but wait for news of you.

I still think of all the times that we have made love. I miss those times. I've missed those years of it being only us. I can't believe how long it has been since we have last been together. I dream during the day of us, you on top of me, your cock buried deep in my ass, our thrusts meeting and the amount of pleasure we both feel.

I went with Isabel to go check out the church. I can't believe it. The "army" of the Fellowship of the Sun is just a bunch of scared little boys with bibles and crossbows. I wanted to kill them all right then and there. But Isabel told me not to do anything until we know that you are in there. Just for the sake of looking at the place that holds you I ask her about her human, trying to understand why her and Bill are with their humans. She finds them interesting, like a science experiment. She stunned me when she asked what Bill Compton thinks of my interest in Sookie. I confessed to her that my only interest is in finding you, Godric. She doesn't seem to believe me but I really don't care. Both of us don't see how those fools could overpower you, hold you for weeks. It doesn't make sense unless there is something not human in there.

On the way back to the hotel from the church, Isabel and I ran into Stan. I just wanted to go to my room and think. But instead I was stuck listening to the two of them argue about us not going in yet, working for you and then Stan pissed me off. I threw him against the wall and asked if he was questioning my loyalty to you. He claimed to only be trying to return you to your rightful position. But I don't believe him. I think he wants this war to start up with the Fellowship of the Sun Church so that he can get away with murdering you. I swear if he has I WILL find the proof and there will BE NO MERCY! Then Isabel stepped in, reminding me that so far there is no proof that Stan has done anything to you. I told them to do whatever they want now because I no longer care. If you are gone then nothing can bring back what I have lost.

I open the door to my room and step inside, a single blood red tear running down my cheek. I went and sat on the couch, thinking hard about you and what you mean to me. I hear a knock on Bill's hotel room door and decide to listen in. This human, apparently a male telepath, tells Lorena and Bill and I that Sookie is in the basement of the church, and so is the sheriff. Before he even finishes his sentence I am out the door and off to rescue you.

Please Godric, you have to be alive, you have to be okay. I have nothing in this world if you are gone. You mean so much to me and I need you. I will die in your place, just as long as you are safe. Once I get you back I have to tell you how I honestly feel.