Disclaimer: Kazuya Minekura owns Saiyuki. I do not.
Warning: Language, randomness.
Notes: I felt so inherently wrong just writing this...
Imagined
brkstrtrcr
July 2009
"No, if x is thirteen then the f of x has to be negative five."
Two sets of skeptical eyes stared incredulously across the carpet at Gojyo. Sanzo snapped his textbook shut and rubbed his temples in mounting irritation. "Are you legally retarded?" he asked through gritted teeth. "It's obviously seven."
The redhead rolled his eyes. "It's not my fault that you two can't add." He scribbled on a sheet of scratch paper for a moment, tongue held between his teeth in concentration, no doubt plugging his alleged solution into their current mathematics equations. After a moment he glared at the paper in disappointment and pointedly ignored Sanzo's told-you-so expression. "Well, I'm out of ideas."
Hakkai sighed and frowned down at the precalculus book in his lap. "You know, maybe it wouldn't hurt to ask--"
"Fuck, no!" Gojyo shouted, at the same time that Sanzo barked out, "Absofuckinglutely not!"
The brunette shut his mouth and glared at his friends. This childish animosity against requesting assistance with homework was getting a bit out-of-hand. They weren't making any progress whatsoever sitting here in Sanzo's shared room and staring at these functions as if they'd solve themselves. "Fine, if you two want to ruin your grade point averages, that's your business," he sighed, getting to his feet. "I'm going to ask him to solve this."
Gojyo and Sanzo stared up at him in horror. The situation would have been mildly amusing had it not been for how asinine their behavior had gotten. In all seriousness, Sanzo had the highest grades of any student in their residence hall, and Gojyo might have played the idiot in class but he was far from it. For all their intellect and academic prowess they really were acting immature...
All three men jumped when the dorm-room's door opened suddenly and Goku came tromping in, battered skateboard under one arm, backpack slung over the other. He dumped his things down on the unmade lower bunk--Sanzo's--and smiled amiably at his friends. It quickly faltered when his golden-brown eyes fell on the murderous expressions gracing Gojyo and Sanzo's faces. Even Hakkai seemed a little on-edge. "What's up?" he asked tentatively, taking a step back.
Ignoring him completely, the blonde rounded on Hakkai. "Speaking up the devil, aren't we?" he snarled.
Hakkai shook his head and silently handed his paper over to Goku. The younger student studied his careful, neat handwriting for a moment and laughed as the entire situation clicked into place. He tossed the paper back into Hakkai's lap and sighed. "The answer's six. You have to factor out the equation and toss the extraneous solutions. No negatives and no odd numbers'll work out for x." His grin widened as Sanzo and Gojyo scratched out their own proposed solutions with bitten-off curses. "Or you could have just listened to Hakkai and used the quadratic formula."
Violet and blood-red eyes glared daggers at the green-eyed man, who smiled nervously. "Give me that paper, Hakkai," Gojyo demanded coolly, barely concealing his anger.
Sanzo threw his textbook halfway across the room and dug around in his pockets, fishing out a half-smoked pack of Marlboros and his lighter. "Um, Sanzo you know you can't smoke in here..." Hakkai began, but the blonde's gaze promised violence.
"What, are you going to tell the damned RA on me?" he bristled.
Goku frowned. "'Kai, I thought you were the RA for this floor? Didn't Yaone resign last week?"
Gojyo and Sanzo's horrified expressions were back instantly as they stared at Hakkai. He smiled. "Yes, I was waiting for the appropriate time to tell you all, but I suppose there truly is no time like the present," he chuckled nervously.
The redhead turned on Goku and arched an eyebrow. "Great, what's next? You're trying out for the cheerleading squad?"
The youngest student blushed furiously and leveled an accusing stare at Hakkai. "You weren't supposed to tell anyone!" he cried, then fled the room.
Sanzo bolted awake as the bell rang shrilly overhead, signaling the end of his three-hour literature lecture. He shook his head to clear his groggy vision and wiped the drool from his chin before snatching up his books and heading for the door behind his classmates. It had just been a stupid dream, he reassured himself, almost laughing at his own imagination's wanderings. In what universe would Goku be more fluent in arithmetic than a teacup...?
As usual, Goku was waiting outside, skateboard tucked under his arm, gold helmet hanging from his backpack's left shoulder strap. He grinned upon sight of his roommate, ignoring Sanzo's rolled eyes and easily dodging the cuff the blonde attempted to deliver to the back of his head. "How was class?" he laughed. "I heard old man Jikaku's Lit lecture is a real sleeper."
Sanzo grunted non-noncommittally and started down the hall. Beside him, Goku's gold eyes were drawn to a particularly brightly-colored flier tacked onto the wall. He paused mid-step. "Hey, Sanzo," he murmured thoughtfully, "You think this place has rules on who can try out for cheerleading?" When the lack of response was sufficient to drag the brunette's gaze away from the poster he found himself alone. "Sanzo?"
His roommate was already halfway down the hallway, kicking a trashcan rather viciously and snarling at several frightened female exchange students. Goku sighed and muttered, running after the blonde. "He's so damn weird..."