AN: I have nothing against Sakura, but this story will not be kind to anyone, and I'm going to make her EARN whatever happiness I give her, so don't get on my case about Sakura-bashing or favoring. Okay guys and gals? Also, this is the time when you'll see a change in tenses, so yes, I know Naruto's was in present and this is in past, I did it that way on purpose.
Boys beware: Don't freak out—you know how romantic Sakura is and I'm down playing the NaruHina shit by a LOT. And yes, this chapter is very MUSHY! Oooh…scary. If you're one of those mocho guys (or girls) who denies that there is such a thing as romance, I ask you here and now to suck it up. Besides, in the next chapter, you get Sasuke gutting someone.
Enjoy!
*
Chapter One: Eyes Down
"Shit! Splinters, splinters everywhere! Why the hell am I the one doing the heavy lifting?! I'm a delicate blossom!"
"Oh, shut up, Ino-pig! You call yourself a kunoichi, you ought to act like one."
With a mighty shove and heave, Sakura tossed the shattered rafter of a fallen roof over her shoulder. The wood bounced and rolled twice before coming to settle in the mammoth pile of debris behind her. All around them were the bits and pieces of a once quiet neighborhood, now set to ruin under the summer sun and rain.
"Ow!" sucking at the place on her wrist where another splinter had stuck, Ino mumbled, "Kunoichi I am. Construction worker I am not."
Sakura just shook her head as Kurenai laughed, patting Ino's shoulder sweetly. The older woman seemed compelled to learn to like her late husband's students, but Sakura was too used to Ino to listen anymore. As children, she'd learned that Ino would whine until she was blue in the face, but do what was needed of her anyways. Complaining just seemed to make her feel better as she did it.
"Don't worry girls," said Kurenai. "I've got lunch for us in an hour."
As if on cue, a rumble sounded from Sakura's stomach, but it didn't stop her from tossing another massive scrap of drywall over her head. She'd learned well the worth of ignoring her body's signals in favor of working even harder. She'd learned to hold her water for upwards of three and a half hours, go a whole day on one meal, and make her body train its way into numbness.
Lee had taught her that method six months ago, before his mission. He still wasn't back yet, but she'd be damned proud of herself if she could ignore the need for sleep like he could by his return.
Even Kakashi had admitted he was impressed, and the praise from her teacher-cum-kage was only marred because it didn't come from Tsunade herself.
According to Shikamaru, there was still no word from Naruto of her waking.
With a grunt, Sakura ripped roughly half a living room free from the abandoned house and threw it perhaps a little too hard behind her. Ino winced and Kurenai stared but they were ignored as the pink-haired girl fumed.
Six years and Tsunade was still out like a light, stuck in some glass coffin like Snow White in the middle of the desert! Why they didn't pull the plug only Kamis knew, but...god...she wanted her teacher back.
She wanted the Gondaime to wear her silly white robes and smile when Naruto stole the hat and shouted about how he was going to wear it next.
And speaking of Naruto...
Trying to be subtle, Sakura shot a quick look towards the Hyuuga complex; one of the only areas that did not show the ravages of war. At least not to the outside.
It would take a moron to miss the raccoon rings setting in around Hinata's eyes and the way she fiddled with the jagged blue stone set into her engagement band, or how often her eyes would drift towards the west--towards Suna--during debriefings. Maybe the pink haired girl would have offered support, but Hinata had political problems, and Sakura had her own loved ones to miss.
All Kohona wanted their blonds home again, making life stronger and bright.
But in six years that hadn't happened yet, and for as long as Tsunade slept and Danzo fought to rule, Sakura couldn't see life getting any better any time soon.
*
Ten hours later, alone and exhausted, Sakura stumbled through the rubble of Kohona towards the apartment she'd called home for the past seven months. She tried to keep her gaze tied to the ground, but every now and then green eyes would wander up, to the crumbling buildings around her.
Holes the size of houses had been knocked into the sides of apartment buildings, exposing abandoned homes still full of belongings. There was no glass in the windows anymore, nor pottery, china, or porcelain, save what scraps were on the ground. Wooden boards were nailed up to ward off the winter cold but most had been taken down for now, beckoning any breeze that would come to cool the houses. Every here and there the skyline was colored by laundry hung to dry on fallen power cables and telephone lines that no longer worked.
Sakura had spent a year's worth of days ripping her rotting city apart with the hope that she would see it built up anew. But when you spend a year's worth of nights lying in your bed with war nightmares, it was hard not to wake up and think of skeletons when you looked at the buildings outside.
She wanted Lee home so she could show her how strong she was getting. She wanted Naruto home so Hinata would stop looking so damn sad. She wanted Tsunade home so the Gondaime could put their village back together. She wanted proof that Sasuke was dead so she could go to sleep without nightmares of Sharingans that woke her in a cold sweat.
War had come and gone and come back and stayed with this village, and it was showing everywhere.
This was our home...
*
When the sun came up, Sakura was already on one of the practice fields. There was the sound of thunder as her hands struck stone, again and again, leaving bloody marks on the fragments that she knocked away. The sounds of their falling made vibrations, big ones, which shook her feet.
Sakura has been punching this boulder for an hour before dawn. Two hours before that, she'd been running laps from the demolished Hokage mountainside down through the town, and back to Lee's empty apartment.
There was a feeling as she ran--beyond the adrenalin, the sweat, the burning, empty acids' taste on her tongue—that if she ran fast enough and hard enough, there would be someone in that apartment the next time she stepped onto the front step and rang the bell, marking off another lap.
Sakura ran ten laps that way, then turned on her heal and slow jogged her way down to the training fields. Here, she would locate a large boulder--one of many lying around under the side of the Kage monument--and strike it with every ounce of her not unsubstantial strength.
When she was done here, Sakura would find some breakfast at Ino and Chouji's place. There, she would have to say "hello" and "I'm fine" and "Ino, you worry too much." This would be the extent of her human contact for the weekend.
Then she would wander into the Hokage library--what remained of it--and study. She would pull every scroll that caught her attention, peruse a few on the same subject before drifting off on some other tangent. She will make notes and observations like a scientist, and consider experiment designs. This would take up the rest of her morning, and if she remembered lunch, she would have it at home. She wouldn't even bother to check out the scrolls that she wanted, because the guards knew her as the Hokage's student, and the scariest woman in Kohona, who returned the scrolls at her own leisure.
When she finished with lunch, Sakura would begin a few new experiments, a few new ideas, a few new tricks and jutsu designs. She would work past dinner, deep into the night, long after anyone else would be awake.
In the morning, the process would reverse, ending in a training session that made her pass out and opening with more work, but there would still be running, and a general lack of Lee, and she supposed that would have to do for now.
This was how she spent her weekends off.
*
Eight months before...
It must have been two or three months after her first shift at in the Reconstruction Team when Sakura went out to lunch with Lee. They'd been working their way through the rubble, sorting—doors to the left, window frames in that pile, toilets over there. They carved paths as they went for the villagers to use, since this particular line was directly between the market and some of the housing areas.
It was one of the hottest days of the summer, the sun at its peak of intensity at about one-thirty that afternoon, and none of the team had taken a lunch break. Sakura had stripped down to her shorts and sports bra, not caring who ogled her or how badly her fair skin might be burnt. Most of the others had followed her lead, and soon, she was working in a field of dirt, rubble, and half naked men and women.
It was through this that Sakura had the benefit of eyeing the men, and she surprised herself when she realized she'd been starring at one (as Ino phrased it) "Finely Lined Male" in particular. She supposed it wasn't her fault that she hadn't noticed any of those lines in the Chunnin Exams; between worrying over his ability to walk again and wondering who in their right mind dresses in green spandex, there hadn't been any real opportunity to admire how fit Lee was.
It was the first time she noticed the exact way his arms flexed, the travel of sweat down his back, the pleasant focus on his face...
Needless to say, by the time the next team came to relieve them, Sakura was feeling hot from more than just the heat.
She'd just been about to head to Ichiraku's for a late (and fast) lunch, eyes locked on the ground, when she ran headlong into (what felt like) a warm rock.
"Ow..." she muttered rubbing her forehead.
"Ah, Sakura-chan! I'm so sorry! Are you hurt?"
"Uh..." Looking up, she found herself almost nose to nose with a pair of bug-eyes. "...Hello Lee."
"Why were you starring at the ground, Sakura-chan? It's such a pretty day!"
"Uh...well...yeah. I guess it is, but I just..." she paused, wondering how she should say this, "I just don't like looking too closely at the village anymore. Not until it's healed a little more, you know?"
"Why though?! The village is thriving like a rose against weeds! We have a strong, healthy destiny before us, and these wounds will make us stronger! They are proud battle scars!"
She chose to ignore the sudden "nice guy" pose and the random teeth sparkles that came with it.
"I'm glad you're so optimistic about things, but do you really think the village will be able to heal after a war with Akatsuki and Rain, and a Civil War? Until Tsunade-sama returns or...dies, we will never be rid of Danzo or those who oppose his ascent. And as long as we are in conflict, we will never have a chance to heal." She sighed. "It's like watching a soldier that comes home from the war wounded and gets infected before he's even gotten his stitches. They never get a break, and as soon as you turn your back, something else is going wrong. Eventually, the body's just got to give in." She gestured at a toppled bakery. "Without an end to the conflict, Kohona will collapse."
Lee didn't say anything. He only looked at her with a considering expression. Then he smiled and took her hand. "You must come to lunch with me! I can cook something for you!"
"I...Lee...uhhhhh...." so startled was she by his sudden change of pace, she didn't say anything as he took her hand.
"I insist! I have a curry recipe designed to make anyone forget any woe! I promise you'll be smiling when you go home!"
"…Wait a minute, I don't think…Lee…"
But he wasn't letting go, and with a smile and a gentle hand, he hauled Sakura to the tiny shack-town he'd been sleeping in.
Lee's hut was made of tin walls, a cot, and a lamp, like all the others were, but he'd managed to drag in the remains of a table and cooking supplies. He had rations stored in a box under it, next to his weights. As Sakura ducked in she noticed that he'd used a layer of broken bricks to lift the roof of his hut and accommodate his six and a half feet of gangly limbs. There was a colorful piece of carpet tossed over the floor like a rug and a board had been stuffed under the cloth of the cot to give it a little more support.
She had to admit herself impressed. Whereas most people just used the shacks as storage for whatever personal effects they could salvage, Lee had put forth the effort it took to make a home.
Sitting her down on the cot, he whipped out a few of the rice rations and a small box of curry mix and began setting up a small fire in one of his pots. She supposed he must have gotten the hang of cooking without a stove if the thin, pot-bottom-shaped burn marks on the table said anything.
While she didn't think the curry was much when it was served, she had to admit that between Lee's loud commentary about his team and his clumsy cooking antics, Sakura was smiling when she finished her meal. Somehow, she managed to got caught up in the conversation, Lee's voice seemed to be infectious, and though they were finished with their meals by late afternoon, it wasn't until long after the sun went down that she made to leave.
And it didn't even end there!
As the "civilrous gentleman" that he swore himself to be, of course he had to escort her home. They talked the whole way there, and it wasn't until the next day that she realized that he'd made her laugh more times in one afternoon than she had in three months.
As she came to the front of her own shelter, she gave him a warm smile and surprised herself by saying, "Thank you for lunch Lee. I think your curry worked quite well. I fell much more optimistic about tomorrow."
"I'm so glad Sakura-chan! Please let me cook for you again sometime when you are feeling sad! I have many more recipies to envigorate the spirit!"
She actually laughed at the nice guy pose this time, and nodded. "I'd love that. Maybe tomorrow?"
Here, he blushed and nodded rapidly. "Hai! As often as you would like Sakura-chan!"
*
Sakura woke on the seventh month of Lee's absence with that memory on the edges of her dream, and she smiled thinly. They'd been eating lunch every day since that first afternoon, laughing and talking, through lunch, into their afternoon duties, and sometimes for so long that they would find a chance to eat dinner together as well.
She found he had a thousand stories to tell about his and his team's early years, about his friends' personalities and quirks. He would discuss training techniques with an eye on anatomy, and they would discuss the limits of the human body.
Some days he would help her train, instructing her in tai-justu styles that best suited her, or with her weight training, which reduced the amount of chakra she had to waste on blows. In return, she would give him massages targeted at pressure points to leave him limp as a noodle on his couch.
She supposed she shouldn't have been surprised that she was in love with him by the time he left.
Moving into her new place had been a lonely, isolating experience, and sometimes she wondered if Lee had come back yet, only he hadn't visited because he didn't know where her new place was.
Sakura spent another three months this way before Lee came home.
*
It began raining during her spar with Neji, the day that Lee came home.
She was enjoying the challenge—they were both skilled in close combat but there was a trade off in their styles—she as a medic knew all his body's weak points—muscles and pressure points and delicate tendons—and could deliver a greater scope of damage with each blow. On the other hand, she was not as much an expert as Neji, who, with his Gentle Fist and Byakuugan, could end the fight much quicker than her, when given the opertunity. But she was getting faster, and her spars with him were lasting longer.
She had just twisted her head aside to avoid an ending blow from his fingers when the first round of thunder began. In unison, the two shinobi looked up, earning them facials of rainwater. In moments, all the heavens had opened up and muddied the earth with enormous drops.
Neji stepped out of his attacking pose and nodded to Sakura.
"I believe this would be the time to end our exercise for today, Haruno-san."
"Not yet! I swear I've almost got you beat!"
Neji smirked, a brow lifting over one white eye.
"Really? You think so? Well, I will not dispute your claims just yet, Haruno-san, but our challenge will have to wait until tomorrow. I must check that the repairs to the complex are holding and that Hinata-sama is not still practicing out in the rain. I think it likely she will have forgotten she is wearing white garments today."
Sakura laughed and they bowed to each other before Neji took his leave.
With a wet glove shielding her face, Sakura looked into the storm and sighed. It wasn't going to let up anytime soon. She might as well do some laps instead.
Pulling the hood of her vest over her head to keep the rain out of her face, Sakura lept into a quick jog, heading first to the Hokage Mountain, then spinning on her heel when she touched what remained of the Yondaime's nose.
As she pressed Lee's doorbell, she took a moment to breathe, enjoying the rhythm of the rain on the tin awning over her head.
She looked out on the neighborhood with a slight smile—it was one of the few completed, and one she'd helped clear the way for. The buildings were only three stories each and two suites wide, all made with mis-matched windows and doors salvaged from buildings before them. Some even had windows made from different colored glass, kept together with glue, so they looked like the stained glass ones in churches. Others had flower pots made in the same way, so the whole street looked like a little motley row.
When the door behind her began to open, Sakura turned with an apology already on her lips for whatever neighbor had answered Lee's doorbell.
She was not expecting to find Lee himself.
"Sakura-chan?"
"O…oh…o…"
"Sakura-chan, why are you all wet? Did you get caught in the rain?"
Unsure of what to say, all Sakura could do was point and stare at the wide bandages across his chest.
"…Y-you got h-hurt!" she managed. Mentally, she smacked herself. Kami! She was starting to sound like Hinata.
Lee touched his bandages and smiled. "Ah…yes…I was on a long mission. These things happen." He shrugged as if it were nothing, but the medical half of Sakura's brain was going a million miles a second with possible injuries that might have caused such damage.
"Let me see it!" she demanded and pushed him inside, fingers already at his bandages. "Who was your medic? Was it Mukatsu? Don't let anyone tell you she's a real medic. She doesn't know a thing about stitches, or sutures. Always ask for me or Yuyue. He actually understands the difference between a kunai and a scalpel. How deep was the wound—did they tell you? Were you bleeding for long? Did they give you the tetnus shot and or antibiotics? What was the wound from, combat or jutsu? Have you—"
"Sakura-chan, PLEASE! Calm down."
It took her a moment for her eyes to focus. Her left hand was in Lee's and her right wrist was being gripped by his, to stop her from pulling any more of the bandages away. There was a hint of gauze under her fingers, and there were already stains of red through the final layer of white bandages, most of which were pooled on the floor of the hallway.
"You should be in a hospital!" she hissed.
"I have been there, and I have no reason to return." He soothed. His thumb made circles on her wrist and she tried to focus on that as she worked to keep her tears at bay. Without words, he led her up the stairs and through the door of his apartment. Apartment sixteen.
The place was sparcely furnished, leaving a wide space in the center of his living room for practice mats to be laid out, lined with impossibly huge weights. He told her once that the floors in this building were too thin to stack them on top of each other without the floor giving out under the combined pressure, especially when he added his arm and leg sets.
"Please, sit down," he offered, and when they sat, the entire couch groaned.
"You're still wearing your weights? But you're injured!"
"They don't even bother me anymore Sakura-chan. I feel naked without them. It will only be a pain when Gai-sensei tells me to move on to heavier ones, and one day I fall through the floor into my neighbors' kitchen!" He teases her, but she is still pulling at his bandages, still wanting to see what went wrong.
"Can you tell me anything about the mission? What injured you? Who? Where have you been?"
"You know I can't tell you that Sakura-chan. But I promise I was taken care of, and you do not have to worry. Now please, enough about my wound. Tell me—"
"Why won't you let me see it?!"
Her outburst surprised him, but not enough to silence him. "I'd rather not flex my mistakes in front of you."
"What mistakes?! You've been hurt on a ridiculously long mission! What were you even doing out there?"
He sighed. "I can't tell you everything, but sufficed to say that things are moving violently in the West, and I screwed up enough to get hurt. I may be able to go back, but likely I blew my cover too much to rebuild. I just hope the others can keep their distance from my name."
"How badly could you have screwed up?"
Lee rubbed his face. Somehow, he knew she wasn't going to put this down. "I really shouldn't tell you this…"
"Do it anyways."
"Sakura-chan…" he whined.
"Rock Lee, you tell me how you got hurt, or I'll burn every training jumpsuit you own."
"…It's really stupid."
"That's not why you're evading me."
"What other reason would I have?" He was trying to keep a straight face, but failing to keep his feet from fidgeting.
"I don't know. That's why I'm asking."
"Sakura…please don't ask me about this mission. I can't lie to you that well and you really shouldn't know about this. So for my sake, would you please drop it?"
Her face was a stone, and he put his head in his hands. Anything not to look at her.
"I was supposed to be confronting a mercenary and escort him to a target. Leaf sent me to identify the target and find out why another village would want him dead. When I confronted the mercenary, I…reacted badly. He figured me out, wounded me, and blew my cover with the group. I ran."
"Who was it?" Sakura asked, but of course, she already knew.
"He called himself 'Hawk,' but, Sakura-chan…Sasuke's back."