WARNING: I know that there are spoilers floating around about what was supposed to happen after The Thin Line… Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.
Thank you! XOXO Sharon
"Dad," Nate said, walking up to the table his father was sitting at surrounded by other recovering addicts and what not. He'd heard the tail end of their discussion and knew his father was spouting off about some lost at sea adventure… one of the many he had before settling down to marry Nate's mom and sit behind a desk.
"Nate!" his father stood up, happy to see him. "Son, I'd like you to meet Ned, Trevor, and Matt. Guys," he continued, looking at the three men around the table, "this is my son, Nate."
Each man nodded their hellos.
Nate wasn't really in the mood to make nice with them. He had just experienced the worst week of his life and he'd rather just get this visit with his dad over with before returning to his empty home and escaping from reality.
"Nice to meet you," Nate nodded politely. He was still all manners and charm though.
"Dad, you ordered?" Nate dangled the bag he had with him from his fingertips. The food at the rehab center was only the best, but nothing could beat a fully loaded hot dog from Gray's Papaya… or so his father had told him on many occasions, which is why he made the extra stop to pick them up on the way out of the city.
"Sure son," Howard said before rising from his seat and saying goodbye to the guys.
They walked back to Howie's room. Nothing had really changed since the last time Nate had visited. The same sailboat model his mother had brought for decoration, the same calendar painstakingly marked off each day that his dad was stuck in this place. The only other personal item was a picture of the three of them sitting on his nightstand: Dad, Mom, and Nate—the picture perfect happy family.
Yeah right, Nate thought to himself.
They settled down at the table and chairs situated across from the bed. Nate started un-wrapping everything to set it out. He liked the times he was rustic with his dad, like when it was just the two of them out on the boat.
"So, where's Blair? I thought she was coming with you this time," Howie asked, taking a bite out of his dog.
Nate paused and tried not to wince. He had forgotten that he'd asked Blair to come with him to visit.
"She's…she couldn't make it. A last minute Eleanor Waldorf shindig: you know how she is," Nate lied through his teeth.
He didn't want to tell his dad that he had broken up with Blair again. His dad had been so happy for him when they got back together. His breaking up with Blair the first time wasn't a good moment in the Archibald family history.
"Ah, yes, I do know Eleanor," Howie said fondly. The Waldorfs and Archibalds had all been friends for years, an acquaintance only made stronger by the relationship between their only children.
"So, sign ups for track and field are at the end of the month," Nate said. He didn't always know what to talk with his dad about when he came to visit. He really wanted to find out how his progress was going, but the topic just never came up in the conversation. He figured if his dad wanted to talk about it, he would. His dad was getting the help he needed; Nate didn't want to keep drowning him in it.
"Great, I know you'll make the team," Howie said with absolute conviction. There was never a question in his mind. "You do every year. Plus, you're an Archibald," Howie winked.
Nate gave a small smile and nodded. Just like his father to remind him of what he was… did his father even know who he was? Well, probably not considering that Nate was struggling with that question himself.
"I'm picking up more time in the weight room and training at the park when I can," Nate told him.
In reality, he didn't know what to do with himself now that he'd kicked Blair and Chuck out of his realm of reality. So what else was there to do but pound out his frustration on the asphalt? Running helped to clear his head of all his problems.
"Great, that's great son. I wouldn't expect anything less," Howie nodded approvingly.
"You aren't eating," Howie noticed. Nate had completely forgotten about the food; his mind was trying to run away from thoughts of Chuck and Blair again.
"Oh, yeah, sorry," Nate smiled ruefully and took a big bite for good measure.
"Something on your mind?" Howie asked. He may not be the best or most attentive parent, but he was pretty sure something was bothering Nate.
"No, no, nothing," Nate said before directing his attention back to his meal.
"Is it about the suspension?" Howie asked. Nate looked up, startled.
"Your mother told me all about it," he continued. "Wanting to protect your fellow classmates was a noble deed, but next time…think about your future, not anybody else's."
Like there was going to be a next time. He still couldn't believe that he'd tried to take a fall for Blair. In light of recent events, he remembered the weird thought he'd had when she'd found out about his doing it for her.
"That's the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me," Blair said, wide eyed.
He'd looked into her eyes and swore that she was completely into him. She was actually smiling her sweet little smile—the same one she'd always bestowed on him when he made some grand gesture. Admittedly, those gestures had been few and far between lately. But still, it was just like coming home. And he knew he couldn't hold back his feelings any longer.
"I love you," he whispered, leaning forward tentatively, hoping for a kiss.
"Please," she said, halting his movement. He froze, uncomprehending. "You and I just can't happen right now."
"Why not?" he whispered, almost desperately. He couldn't understand this. Everything had been perfect weeks ago, and now she doesn't want anything to do with him. She's forgiven him for everything else, why can't she forgive him now? Especially when he's finally giving her the one thing she needed so badly. His love.
She paused for a long moment before finally uttering, "I don't want to be with you."
He didn't know what to say. He didn't understand how she could say that. But he wasn't going to stay and argue anymore. He turned and walked away with a low "good catching up" just like she'd brushed him off with in the pool.
But as he walked away he couldn't help but think…"the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me"? He was the only one who had ever done anything romantic for her. Wasn't he?
Why had she acted like that in the first place? Did she feel guilty for lying to him and wanted to just stonewall him into leaving her alone so she didn't have to admit the truth? Or was she still seeing Chuck, even then? Chills climbed up his spine as he tried to concentrate on his father's words about responsibility and his future.
Concentrating wasn't going to happen. He nodded as if he was paying attention and couldn't help the thoughts from clouding his mind again.
There were a lot of things he didn't know about this whole shitty crapped up situation. He had a million different questions and didn't know if he'd ever learn the real truth. He didn't know if he wanted to know.
But he knew that the question he tried to bury the most was whether or not while he was admitting his love to her, she was thinking about someone else…having sex with someone else…and unwittingly setting him up for this fall he'd taken. He finally understood what she had felt when he'd betrayed her this way. And he knew that—back then—his mind was always on someone else too.
Of course, since December she was the only one on his mind. And after the revelations of this past week, Blair still was the only one in his mind. He didn't know how to get her out…and he really wanted to.
"Come on Waldorf! Time to face the world!" Serena said loudly as she grabbed the comforter and yanked it off her best friend.
"Serena, go away," Blair mumbled, burying her head underneath a pillow. Her night mask was still on but it, unfortunately, didn't block sound along with light.
"Get up Blair. Time for breakfast!" Serena said in a sing-song voice.
Blair groaned. "Is it too late to go to France?"
"Yep," Serena said.
Blair finally removed the pillow from her head and rolled over. She removed her mask and looked at the clock. It was a minute before six in the morning. Her alarm was going to go off any second. She flipped the switch so she wouldn't have to hear the awful screeching sound. Then she looked at Serena who was completely dressed and ready for school at this godforsaken hour.
"What'd you do, get up at the crack of dawn?" Blair muttered before closing her eyes again and tossing an arm across her face.
"Something like that," Serena shrugged. She walked over and leaned across the bed, grabbing Blair's arms. "Let's go!"
"Alright, alright," Blair finally muttered as she sat up. "I hate you, you know that?"
"I love you too," Serena smiled. "Now come on. You have to eat breakfast, shower, get dressed, and walk to school. It's Monday morning and it's the first day of the rest of your life!"
Blair knew Serena was trying to make her excited about the changes ahead, but she didn't think she was going to be able to put on that happy face today. She didn't want a new leaf. She liked her old one just fine.
She let Serena drag her along and then she found herself sitting at an actual table to eat breakfast instead of lounging on a sofa.
Serena hadn't been kidding about breakfast either. Apparently Serena hadn't eaten yet, so she'd told Dorota what to rustle up and voila. Fresh fruit, toast and even some scrambled eggs were laid out.
Before Blair could fork a couple pieces of fruit, Serena grabbed Blair's plate and put a little of everything on it.
"I can't eat all that," Blair rolled her eyes. A half a slice of toast? A spoonful of eggs? A couple chunks of melon and pineapple? Well maybe just a little of each.
"Yes you can, and you will. It's not a lot Blair," Serena insisted. "Besides, you're going to need your strength today B."
"Fine," Blair said. Serena did have a point. Why not face the lions well fed?
Fifteen minutes later Serena's plate was bare and Blair still had half her eggs, most of her toast, and half of the fruit chunks.
Serena looked at her watch quickly. "Okay! Go shower and get ready," Serena looked up at her and nodded. "You're doing great B!"
Blair gave a small smile and nodded before standing up and ascending the stairs.
She knew that Serena wanted to get to the school early. It would help to diffuse the situation a little and Blair needed to have quick one-on-ones with her teachers. The same teachers who just thought she was out the remainder of last week with a stomach flu. She hated missing school. Making up everything after missing it was just the worst.
She was going to go upstairs and shower and get dressed and completely put everything out of her mind. Well, she was going to try. She had control of her own thoughts, damn it! Control of her self.
Then why was the breakfast Serena forced her to eat swirling like dead weight in her stomach?
She pushed down the feelings. No, she thought to herself. Not again.
She finally arrived in the bathroom. She quickly closed the door and raced to the sink. She stood, eyes closed, facing the mirror. Slowly she opened her eyes.
Ugly, ugly, ugly—the thoughts started pounding through her head as the gross figure appeared before her.
No, no, no—she shook her head and closed her eyes tight again. I can do this. You can do this Blair. You are going to open your eyes and look in that mirror and see the beautiful girl that you really are staring back at you!
Slowly, she opened her eyes again and breathed a sigh of relief. She looked a little bed-head, but at least she wasn't fat anymore.
She nodded at her reflection and turned to the shower stall. She wished she could take a bath instead to relax, but she simply didn't have the time. She quickly stripped and walked the couple steps to the shower. She opened the stall door and turned on the water.
She held out her hand to test the temperature. Without warning, a thought hit her—a fleeting memory, one she wished she could forget—and she froze, staring unseeing at the now hot water pounding on her hand.
When you were beautiful…when you were beautiful…when you were beautiful…
The phrase raced through her head over and over again.
She couldn't hold back anymore.
With a quick glance at the door to make sure she had locked it when coming in, she turned and opened the toilet seat. She grabbed a toothbrush and got down on her knees and rid herself of the toast, fruit, and eggs Serena had just forced down her.
When she was finished, she breathed a deep sigh. Just this once, just this once Blair—anyone would need to do it today. Today's not a normal day. Anyone would understand this.
Feeling only slightly better, she quickly flushed the toilet—glad that the shower's pipes would cover the sound—and got into the shower.
Thirty minutes later she was dry, dressed, and refreshed.
Headband firmly in place, absolutely no more flats with socks (she really needed to watch her fashion sense when her life was falling apart), and her lips decorated in her signature shade of red.
Not a hair out of place and feeling so much more confident about the day ahead, she left her room and almost skipped down the stairs.
Today she was going to lay out her plan for complete and total social destruction to those who had kicked her when she was down. It was going to be a long and brutal task, but none of them could run or hide. The only question was who to take down first?
"Let's go!" she called out, almost giddy now, to Serena who was trying to do some last minute reading for an English class.
Serena quickly put the book in her bag and joined her as they left for Blair's first day back since the shit hit the fan. Serena was glad that she had finally stopped resisting and had her gumption back. This wasn't going to be pretty, but she was going to be there for Blair—no matter what…
To be continued…