"Cold?"
"A little."
"Here" Roger took off his overcoat and put it around her shoulders.
"Oh no! I'm all right. Really." Tara started to take it off, feeling guilty about him suffering the cold that was starting in as the sun sank lower over the trees in front of them.
"Keep it on. Don't worry about me. I spent four days in Alaska once with only a light coat and suit. The cold doesn't bother me much"
"Oh my! How did that happen?"
"The airline lost my baggage. I had to spend four days stuck in the hotel waiting for it. I could have gone out to buy some things I suppose, but it was too cold to go outside." His eyes twinkled as he looked down into her face. Tara laughed.
"I thought you were serious. I had pictured you stuck in an igloo somewhere freezing half to death."
"Nope. Not an igloo to be seen for miles."Tara laughed again.
Roger liked the sound of it. He liked it very much. He liked everything about her. It wasn't just the fact that she was incredibly beautiful. It was her very nature. Kind, sweet, caring, intelligent, funny. They walked in silence for a bit, Tara enjoying the long walk and the natural beauty surrounding her. She loved trees. Ever since she had moved into the city, she had desperately missed all the trees that had surrounded her family home. When her work became just a little too stressful or depressing she would hurry off to the nearest park and walk or sit amongst the trees just to get away for awhile and relive in her mind a less stressful childhood. Roger saw her face soften as the walked in amongst the trees.
"I always come here when I need to get away from things for awhile. I had a hard time sleeping during my first week here in London. The noise at all hours of the night kept me up. I wasn't sure then that I would survive here, wasn't sure I was cut out to be an agent despite my Uncle's encouragements. One day when things had gone very badly at training, I came home ready to pack it up and go home. I had pulled out my suitcase when I decided to go for a walk to clear my head. I came across this park and just sat amongst the trees for awhile. Silly as it sounds it gave me strength to keep trying, to keep working harder." Tara said as she sat down on the grass and leaned back against an old stately oak tree.
"Hadn't you seen it before? I mean it's in between the agency and your flat." Asked Roger as he sat down beside her. He was a bit surprised that she hadn't noticed it right off. She seemed to be extremely observant He had noticed during their time together how quickly her green eyes would dart around, taking in the scenes around her as if she were taking mental notes of how her surroundings looked. Part of it was training he knew Agengts were trained to look at everything surrounding them so they didn't miss the more subtle clues of a crime scene. The other part seemed to be instinctive in her. Whether or not it was survival instinct he didn't know. Tara herself probably didn't know either.
"Yes, but you know how training is. Your mind is so full of everything you've been learning that you see things without taking them in. Steed has taught me since then not to become overwhelmed with everything so that I notice when things look out of place."
"Do you like working with Steed?"
"Oh yes! Very much so. I don't know about when you went through training, but during my time there everything was based on the "Steed method" of doing things. By the time I first met him I had come to believe him to be some sort of god like creature."
"Do you still?"
"No. He's very mortal. Don't get me wrong. He's an extremely good agent. One of the best and the agency was right in all but shoving him down our throats, but it's his human side I admire most."
"Really?" Roger couldn't help but look a little apprehensive Was he crossing lines here with her? Tara looked at him with a gentle, sweet smile. She had heard his tone and meant to change it.
"Really. He's a good, kind, gentle man. He's taught me everything I know about our work. He's taken care of me when I've been ill or injured. He's listened to me when I've been hurting or frightened. He's a good friend. A very good friend. Nothing more, nothing less." Tara looked him straight in the eye as she said this wanting him to see the truth in her eyes. He believed her. He continued to look at her pretty face. He wanted to kiss her, but they had known each other just over a day and it wouldn't be proper. In just the one day and evening he had spent with her, he knew her to be very independent and uncaring about proper behavior. She was impulsive and strong willed, but underlying that was still a strong sense of propriety that wouldn't allow her to take things to another level so quickly. He respected her and cared for her and he would do nothing to shatter what he hoped would become a budding romance.
He smiled back at her and she saw he was relieved that he wasn't invading another man's territory. She knew he admired Steed's reputation in the agency and wouldn't tangle with him. It wasn't the proper thing to do. Not at all. Roger's stomach gave a very unromantic, improper growl just then. Tara laughed as she looked at her watch.
"Oh my! It's nearly five thirty! It's almost dark. I hadn't even noticed. No wonder you are hungry."
"I'm not hungry, but the lion in my stomach is. It's been a wonderful afternoon Tara. I'd like to do it again, but in the meantime may I take you out to dinner?"
"I'd like that."
"Good, then your carriage awaits m'lady. The lion will drive."
By the end of the week, Tara realized she had fallen in love. There was no doubt in her mind she was in love with this wonderful man. With other men whom she had spent a great deal of time with, she would usually back off for a bit in order to give herself some breathing room. She usually liked a little time to herself, but now when Roger wasn't around, she didn't feel the freedom of aloneness, she just felt lonely. He was now starting to appear at her door, flowers in hand, early in the morning. They would have breakfast and coffee together and then spend the rest of the day and evening walking, talking, dining, dancing, going to the theater, or just sitting at her place in front of the fire listening to her albums. Those were the moments she loved best, sitting quietly, her eyes closed as she leaned back against him, his arm around her slender shoulders, a stray finger gently tracing her face and neck. A couple of days ago though, she had gotten a bit peeved with him for the first time. He had confessed to her that he had checked her files at the ministry in order to find out more about her. That she could accept. She had done the same to him. Both of them tried to hide it under the guise of standard practice. They were agents. They needed to know everything about each other and their files held stark naked truths about each agent that they knew they wouldn't get from each other, not because they weren't being honest, but because their judgment was a bit clouded. Finally they both confessed to it being curiosity and laughed about it. But her eyes threw daggers at him when he told her he had also checked out Steed's files.
"Why?" Tara's body stiffened in anger as she pulled out of his arms and sat up straight. Her eyes narrowed and her green eyes darkened a bit. She didn't know it, but she couldn't have looked lovelier at that moment.
"I'm sorry Tara. It wasn't idle curiosity I just wanted to be sure I wasn't stepping over lines here. I care a great deal for you. But I have to admit I have a feeling you haven't told me everything about your relationship with Steed and I don't want to stand in anyone's way. I'd like to keep seeing you again and again, but frankly I don't want it all to end suddenly when Steed returns from holiday."
Tara looked into his eyes and saw the concern there and the truth. One of her best qualities as an agent was being able to tell when someone was lying to her. Roger had only told the truth. She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment as her anger abated.
"I know I told you before that I consider John Steed a very close friend. And he is. But yes, a while back we had gone a step further. It was right after I had been so sick. It lasted for a brief period, but both of us came to realize that it really wasn't what either of us wanted or needed. We were both more than satisfied in continuing to develop a stronger friendship. I love Steed. Very much so. And before you ask, yes, we slept together. Often. But both of us know now that it was wrong. Not the sleeping together, but trying to take a perfect relationship and improving on it. It can't be done. And hear me loud and clear on this Roger Lars, I will not allow you nor Steed to influence any decisions I make as to whom I consider a friend or a lover. I want to keep seeing you. I want to keep being with you, but if you think I'm going to stop being friends with John Steed for you, or if you have any doubts that I have told you anything but the absolute truth in my feelings for him, then let's end this here and now before one of us gets hurt."
Roger listened hard as she spoke, his last bit of jealous fear flying out the window. Tara was indeed her own woman and felt very strongly about her relationships. She wasn't to be toyed with and she wasn't one to be told what to do or threatened. He liked that. And he loved her. Without a doubt he was in love. But as he told her, he had no desire to stand in the way of some other man if she had to make a choice. He didn't want to live the rest of his life wondering whether or not she had regretted not choosing the other man. He heard in her voice, saw in her face that she never regretted any choices she made in her life and never would.
"I'm so sorry Tara. I didn't mean to upset you or make you think I was checking up on you. I just wanted to be sure."
"Oh don't be sorry. I sounded harsher then I wanted to and you had every reason to believe there had been something more with me and Steed. I hadn't told you everything, simply because I didn't want you to think bad of me. And here's a life line if you want to grab on to it...Until now, I've never really cared what anyone thought of me. If people liked me then good. If they hated me, so be it. I lived my life for myself, doing what made me happy. But since I met you, I started caring about what you thought. The other day when you rang me and I sounded so horribly stiff and formal, well I couldn't understand why the earth just didn't open up right then and there and swallow me up. I was so embarrassed at how I must have sounded, I came this close to ringing you back and canceling."
"It wouldn't have done you any good to call."
"Why not?"
"Because the minute you said yes, I was in my car rushing over here to see you. I sat outside your door for two hours waiting for noon to arrive."
"Oh you did not." Tara laughed at the image of him sitting in the hall way, checking his watch every few minutes.
"Did so. In fact, when the time was right I was going to ask you if you could put out a pillow for me to sit on the next time."
"What if there hadn't been a next time?" Tara asked coyly.
"Then you would have been subjected to extreme howls coming from your hallway and you wouldn't have been able to listen to your albums unless they were opera." Tara laughed again and then touched his face gently.
"Good thing I said yes then." She lifted her face up to his as he bent down closer to hers. She closed her eyes as he softly kissed her for the first time.
"Yes. It was a very good thing."