So I decided to change my one shot into a full length fan fic!!! Please read and review

Not that girl Chapter 1

The next school year

"Rachel!" The yell came over her I-pod speakers as she stared up at Quinn. The young mother's blue eyes were sparkling with concern at the singer sitting cross legged on the floor. She was sitting in the Glee room during lunch, not a normal habit for the now junior girl. It was scary to think that they were all in their junior years (A/N I know that its rumored that the glee kids are all different years but I'm making them the same year. And the football team sucks, which is normally the junior varsity teams that do the worst so it would make sense that Finn and Puck are sophomores….point is they are now juniors) and soon they would be out of this school.

"Yeah Quinn?" Rachel quietly answered shutting off her i-pod. She wanted to be left alone for a little bit. Being around her family was too much sometimes for her and Rachel needed to breath and remind herself that she was better than all this.

"Everyone is wondering where you went. What's wrong?" The former Cheerio asked her sister, hoping that she wasn't going down hill again. Maybe this time it was caught before the depression could cause anymore damage. Rachel sighed wondering if she could lie here way out of this but the look in Quinn's eyes said different.

"I just….It got to be too much. The light, the warmth, laughing, I just….I just had to breath, had to get rid of the voices in my head." She felt a hand rest on her knee as Quinn sat next to her.

"What do you mean Rach? What voices?" She didn't understand what her sister was saying but she wanted to try and help her.

"The ones that tell me I'm ugly, worthless, nothing. I just, sometimes they pop up when everything is right. I have to get away and either just sit and let them go away or make them go away. I couldn't find a place to go running with out being noticed so I just came here to sit." She began to trace a scar along her wrist, wondering how crazy she was to think something like that.

"Hey," Quinn's hand grabbed her own, causing her to stop tracing it, "you know that's not true. And you're not crazy. You're my sister and my sister isn't crazy just gifted." Rachel snorted.

"I'm gifted with a curse."

"Only if you look at it that way." The older girl retorted watching the singer's face contort in confusion.

"What do you mean?" Rachel looked up with large brown eyes, confusion written across them.

"Rachel, I believe that God has placed everything in our lives for a reason so we can use it one day to help someone else going through the same thing or something different. Or its to shape us into a better person. But look at you, despite hurting those past two years you still reached out, still held out a hand, and just helped others. It's caused you to have a loving heart. Look at the way you handle little Ava." She smiled and brushed some stray hair out of the girl's face.

"It's made you strong Rachel. I know that you don't see it just yet, but you will." Her hand rested on Rachel's cheek and she smiled, "Sides you're a Berry, we let nothing get us down."

"Woah! Hot lesbian activity!" Puck called from the door way.

"Noah!" Rachel ran over at him to hit him but he just scooped her up and threw her over his shoulder. Thankfully she had thrown on jeans instead of wearing a skirt. He chuckled and began to spin around the choir room.

"Ah Noah No!" Rachel laughed as they continued to spin.

"Only if you come back to eat lunch with us, Superstar," he replied as they continued to spin.

"Alright you win!!! Just put me down." Noah stopped and gently set her down.

"That's better. I thought you were leaving me for my sister." Quinn walked over to her boyfriend and gently kissed him.

"No way, you're mine." Noah told her as he hugged her close. The two had decided to try and be a couple for the sake of the baby. And so far things were working out well between the two of them. "Now Berry sisters lunch awaits us!" The couple began to walk out of the room and then realized that Rachel wasn't following them.

"I've got to get my things and I'll be there in a minute. I promise, kay?" She half stated, half asked. They both nodded and told her to hurry up and with that she was alone. Her body carried her over to the piano and she sat down her fingers grazing the keys gently. They played a couple notes for a second before beginning a song. The melody became complex and fast as she began to sing.

" She's locked up with a spinning wheel
She can't recall what it was like to feel
She says, 'This room's gonna be my grave
And there is no one who can save me.'
She sits down to her coloured thread
She knows lovers waking up in their bed" Her thoughts strayed to the two couples in Glee, Tina and Artie along with Quinn and Puck, three if you counted whatever Santana and Brit were.

"She says, 'How long can I live this way
Is there no on I can pay to let me go
'Cause I'm half sick of shadows
I wanna see the sky
Everyone else can watch as the sun goes down
So why can't I-i-i-i"

Her fingers stroked the keys faster as she entered the chorus pouring all she had into it.

"And it's raining
And the stars are falling from the sky
And the wind
And the wind I know it's cold
I've been waiting
For the day I will surely die
And it's here
And it's here for I've been told
That I'll die before I'm old
And the wind I know it's cold..." She paused to catch her breath with the pause in the song.

"

She looks up to the mirrored glass
She sees a handsome horse and rider pass
She say, 'That man's gonna be my death
'Cause he's all I ever wanted in my life
And I know he doesn't know my name
And that all the girls are all the same to him" Jesse's face was brought her mind.

"But still I've got to get out of this place
'Cause I don't think I can face another night
Where I'm half sick of shadows
And I can't see the sky
Everyone else can watch as the tide comes in
So why can't I

And it's raining
And the stars are falling from the sky
And the wind
And the wind I know it's cold
I've been waiting
For the day I will surely die
And it's here
And it's here for I've been told
That I'll die before I'm old
And the wind I know it's cold..." She smiled as the song took a bit of a happier tone.

"But there's willow trees
And little breezes, waves and walls and flowers
And there's moonlight every single night
As I'm locked in these towers" Her mood turned darker as she poured everything she had into those words.

"So I'll meet my death
But with my last breath I'll sing to him I love
And he'll see my face in another place
And with that the glass above.' Gathering her breath she finished the song.

"Cracked into a million bits
And she cried out, 'So the story fit
But then I could have guessed it all along
'Cause now some drama queen is gonna write a song for me.'
She went down to her little boat
And she broke the chains and began to float away
And as the blood froze in her veins she said,
'Well then that explains a thing or two
'Cause I know I'm the cursed one
I know I'm meant to die
Everyone else can watch as their dreams untie
So why can't I

And it's raining
And the stars are falling from the sky
And the wind
And the wind I know it's cold
I've been waiting
For the day I will surely die
And it's here
And it's here
And it's here
And it's here
And it's here
It's finally here

And it's raining
And the stars are falling from the sky
And the wind
And the wind I know it's cold
I've been waiting
For the day I will surely die
And it's here
And it's here for I've been told
That I'll die before I'm old
And the wind I know it's cold.." She played the beginning again and just leaned against the piano.

"That was good Rachel. Very good indeed. You've been practicing since I've last seen you." Jesse St. James smirked as he leaned against the doorway.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She tried to sound brave but it came out as half hearted anger.

"Well what I didn't tell you is that I was lying when I said I was a senior." He smirked as he walked into the room, moving closer to her.

"But it had you listed as a senior.." She moved away from him aware that she was getting painfully close to a wall soon.

"It was our couch's plan. It always looks good to have a senior as a star, we just fudged the papers a bit. I'm actually a junior this year like you and I got transferred here after you screwed me over." He kept getting closer and closer to her and her back hit a wall with Jesse a few inches away from her.

"It was you or my family Jesse. Get over yourself." She stated, trying to move around him. His hand grabbed her arm and flung her back into the wall. Her head hit the wall with a smack and she felt her body crumple under her.

"Oh no Berry. I won't get over myself. In fact I think I'll take a few things from you as compensation. " He growled and his hand reached for his belt. Rachel felt herself wimpering and trying to move but she was too weak to do anything. Her head was throbbing and she tried to scream but nothing was coming out. As he was about to undo his belt, a voice called out.

"Hey what's going on here!" Will Schuester called out as he saw two kids in his room. The one standing turned around and Will recongized him as the star of Vocal Adrenaline, Jesse St. James.

"Nothing I was just helping Rachel over here who fell." The young man reached down and lifted Rachel to her feet. He whispered in her ear "Say anything different and I won't hesitate to do something to your family." Will looked at her as she tried her best to act natural as he spoke to her.

"Is that true Rachel?"

"Yes Mr. Schuester. I tripped while practicing a new routine and hit the wall. Jesse here was kind enough to help me up." She managed to get the words out normally or so she hoped. It felt like seconds until the Glee club director nodded his head.

"Go to the nurse and have her check you out before you head back to class. And Jesse, welcome to McKinley High." With that he left the two teens alone.

"Well I would love to stay and chat but I have to get to class," Jesse told her as the bell rang and headed out the door, "Oh and Rachel? We should do this again sometime." With that he left her shivering and Rachel felt something drip down the front of her shirt. It was blood staining her white shirt. Her fingers gently touched the top of her head and came away red.

"Rach?" Quinn was standing in the doorway looking at her and noticed the wound. "Rachel!" She ran over towards the girl, who was swaying dangerously. Her arms wrapped around her sister, steadying her.

"Quinn, I'm fine. It's ok. I just was a little clumsy and hit the wall its no big deal." She pushed her away standing on her own two feet and walked towards her bag. Her fingers reached for it as her head pounded. Quinn was saying something but it sounded like she was underwater. Rachel slowly shook her head trying to get the world around her back in order. Blackness danced on the edge of her vision and she gave into it. Her body swayed and she was out in a moment.

"Shit!" Quinn barely managed to catch the unconscious girl and cradled her on the floor. This wasn't good, what the hell happened to her?

"Qui-Rachel?!" Noah noticed that one of their stars and good friends was on the floor. He hurried over and gently removed Rachel from Quinn's arms.

"What happened?" He asked, holding her against him.

"I don't know. She said that she hit the wall and then past out. I think that's how she got the cut on her head." Quinn told him as he moved out the door. "Where are we going?"

"Nurse. Come on." The two of them sped down the hallway praying that Rachel was going to be ok.

So yeah I made Jesse the bad guy…ehehe…..he's already the bad guy in everyone's mind anyways. So Umm read and review!! Oh the song Rachel sings is called Shalott by Emilie Autumn. If you haven't heard it check it out on Youtube. It's an awesome song and I can totally see her singing.