"You should call Carter" she told herself.
'What?!! No you shouldn't he already thinks your sleeping you can't call him what would you say? You know you can't tell him what you're going to do.'
"I'm not going to do it this time!" she argued back.
'Yes you are you can't help it you need it you can't breathe without it.'
" I can't do it." Abby argued "I have to stop I haven't done it in a month."
'That's why you're going to do it now.' she argued back.
Abby knew she couldn't stop the thoughts in her head she never could it took time but they always won. Abby reached into her nightstand drawer and pulled out her razor. As soon as she felt the steel on her fingertips she knew what she would do. It was a losing battle she could never win she always promised her next time she felt like doing this she would call someone but she never could. No one knew and she knew that it would scare them she couldn't do that to them. Most of her friends were doctors for god sake she wouldn't be able to make up excuses with them later.
'Abby do it! You'll feel so much better.' She knew she was right she had to give in. She took the blade and sliced across her wrist. It hurt so badly but it felt so good. Every time she cut herself she contemplated suicide but she could never bring herself to do it. She told herself she had to be there in case Eric or Maggie needed her again and now there was Carter. She couldn't do that to Carter she couldn't hurt him like that he was so sweet so innocent she didn't want to be the one to ruin that so she always cut herself just enough to hurt, just enough to fell the blood run down her arm.
Sometimes one cut was enough and sometimes she had to cut over and over to get the voices out and tonight was one of those nights. She cut her wrist four times there was blood all over her arm. The cuts weren't enough to do any harm but they were enough to hurt enough to sting. Abby loved that feeling it gave her an amazing high. Abby knew she couldn't hide more then four cuts on her arm this was like an art to her she had the whole process so well tuned. She moved to her ankle she knew she shouldn't she should stop now but it had been so long and she needed this. She hesitated but she had to do it. '
'Who cares if Carter sees them? Then he'll know the truth he'll see how messed up you really are and he'll leave, that's what he should do anyway.'
Abby blocked out all thought and cut she cut 5 times before stopping she didn't even remember making the last 4. She felt the blood run down her ankle she felt the stinging pain and smiled. She felt so relaxed now. She couldn't remember why she has waited a month to do this again. Abby grabbed the tissues of the nightstand and wiped away the blood she was exhausted and she rolled over and went to sleep no longer hearing the awful voices in her head.
'What?!! No you shouldn't he already thinks your sleeping you can't call him what would you say? You know you can't tell him what you're going to do.'
"I'm not going to do it this time!" she argued back.
'Yes you are you can't help it you need it you can't breathe without it.'
" I can't do it." Abby argued "I have to stop I haven't done it in a month."
'That's why you're going to do it now.' she argued back.
Abby knew she couldn't stop the thoughts in her head she never could it took time but they always won. Abby reached into her nightstand drawer and pulled out her razor. As soon as she felt the steel on her fingertips she knew what she would do. It was a losing battle she could never win she always promised her next time she felt like doing this she would call someone but she never could. No one knew and she knew that it would scare them she couldn't do that to them. Most of her friends were doctors for god sake she wouldn't be able to make up excuses with them later.
'Abby do it! You'll feel so much better.' She knew she was right she had to give in. She took the blade and sliced across her wrist. It hurt so badly but it felt so good. Every time she cut herself she contemplated suicide but she could never bring herself to do it. She told herself she had to be there in case Eric or Maggie needed her again and now there was Carter. She couldn't do that to Carter she couldn't hurt him like that he was so sweet so innocent she didn't want to be the one to ruin that so she always cut herself just enough to hurt, just enough to fell the blood run down her arm.
Sometimes one cut was enough and sometimes she had to cut over and over to get the voices out and tonight was one of those nights. She cut her wrist four times there was blood all over her arm. The cuts weren't enough to do any harm but they were enough to hurt enough to sting. Abby loved that feeling it gave her an amazing high. Abby knew she couldn't hide more then four cuts on her arm this was like an art to her she had the whole process so well tuned. She moved to her ankle she knew she shouldn't she should stop now but it had been so long and she needed this. She hesitated but she had to do it. '
'Who cares if Carter sees them? Then he'll know the truth he'll see how messed up you really are and he'll leave, that's what he should do anyway.'
Abby blocked out all thought and cut she cut 5 times before stopping she didn't even remember making the last 4. She felt the blood run down her ankle she felt the stinging pain and smiled. She felt so relaxed now. She couldn't remember why she has waited a month to do this again. Abby grabbed the tissues of the nightstand and wiped away the blood she was exhausted and she rolled over and went to sleep no longer hearing the awful voices in her head.