Chapter two: Midget land
As our poor hero came to, he saw that his vineyard home was flying through the air. As he looked out the window, he saw Itachi walking by, walking on air. He rubbed his eyes, and as he watched, Itachi transformed into a witch putting on evil nail polish of doom. As Sasuke was about to yell out the window and tell him what a gaywad he was, the house came to an abrupt stop, sending poor Sasuke flying out the broken door.
"OW!" he cried, rubbing the bruise that was slowly forming on the back of his head. He heard quiet giggling, and a vein pulsed on his temple.
"WHAT IS SO DAMN FUNNY!?!" He roared. A short boy wearing a funny-looking hat and a blue cape stepped out from behind a bush, laughing his ass off.
"Nice dress!" He laughed, pointing at Sasuke's clothes. Sasuke paused for a second, staring at the boy before he looked down. He immediately regretted doing so. He was now wearing a bright blue dress with a white apron and thigh-high socks, with no shoes.. His left eye twitched slightly.
"What in the seven hells is th-" He began, getting cut off as a small girl squealed loudly behind him. He spun around, wondering what could be so damn important that he was interrupted. A short little girl with big black eyes was holding a stick, poking something that was sticking out from under Sasuke's house. Sasuke noticed whatever it was, it was shiny, so he walked over to take a look. Two long blue legs were sticking out from under the house, with a pair of sparkly red pumps on them.
"Oh crap, I landed on some blue ho with horrible fashion sense…" Sasuke muttered, looking at the legs. The little boy and girl smiled widely at him, hugging him tightly.
"Our hero! Our hero! You killed the wicked witch!" they giggled, dancing around. Sasuke blinked, looking at them.
"The….what?" he asked, looking at them. They smiled, dancing around Sasuke, thoroughly scaring the crap out of him.
"Oh, Konohamaru, we need to call the good witch!" The little girl said, taking a cell phone out of her pocket.
"Wait, why are you using a cell phone instead of her poofing down here in her giant bubble?" The boy, Konohamaru, asked.
"She told me the bubble's being dry-cleaned, so we need to call her. Dumb witch is wasting my minutes…" the girl muttered, hitting speed dial number one on her cell. "Hi, nice witch. Guess what?" there was a pause on the other end. "No, he hasn't called back." The girl replied, frowning. There was faint screaming on the other end. Apparently, the nice bitch was mad. "Yes, I know he's a jerk…" the girl muttered, "but I have good news! The wicked witch is dead!" she said cheerfully. There was a pause on both ends, and the short girl clicked her phone off. "She'll be here in one moment…" the girl said, pocketing her phone again.
"She's mad, huh?" Konohamaru asked, playing with his cape.
"Yeah, that stupid Shikamaru didn't call…" The girl said, rolling her eyes. Just then, there was a loud POOF! And suddenly a blonde girl with her long hair pulled back in a ponytail wearing a huge pink dress in a soaking wet white bubble was floating in front of Sasuke. He screamed, falling over. The girl coughed, waiting for Sasuke to pull his skirt down over his thighs and stand up, blushing bright red.
"Hello," she said, eyeing him, "I am Ino, the witch of the north." She smiled slightly, looking at the blue legs under his house. "And it looks like you have killed my sister Kisame, the wicked witch of the east. Very good." She smiled. Sasuke stepped up to her, poking her bubble. It immediately popped, making her fall to the ground. "Ow! You burst my bubble!" she screamed, rubbing her butt.
"Sorry, but would you mind telling me where the frick I am?" he said, looking around. Everything was very small, and so colorful his eyes hurt.
"This is midget land." Ino said. "And these are some of the midgets." She added, motioning to the two.
"And how did I get he-" Sasuke began again, but was once again cut off by a large cloud of black smoke. He was getting pissed of, being interrupted so much. Out of the smoke stepped Itachi, wearing a long black dress, putting on more evil nail polish of doom. He looked up at Sasuke as he materialized, scowling.
"Look what you did! You killed my sister, the witch of the east! How could you?!?!" He screamed, running over to the house. Ino smiled.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" She asked. Itachi looked up at her, confused. She sighed. "The shoes, you retard. Take the fricking shoes."
As Itachi nodded, kneeling down to steal his dead sister's shoes, they disappeared, and Kisame's legs turned to ashes as well. He stood up, enraged, and glared at Ino.
"WHERE ARE MY SHOES?!" He screamed at her. She pointed to Sasuke's feet, since he was now wearing the red pumps.
"Hey, I don't want these things!" he exclaimed, trying to tug them off. They wouldn't budge.
"Quit your bitching, they'll help you get home." Ino said, rolling her eyes. Itachi scoffed in defeat.
"Fine, you know what? Keep the shoes. But I'll get you, pretty boy! And your dumb dog too!" he screamed, disappearing in another huge puff of smoke. Sasuke started coughing.
"Stupid smoke…I'm gonna die of secondhand smoke…" He muttered, looking at Ino. "Who the hell was that?"
"That was Itachi, the wicked witch of the west." Ino said, looking at her nails.
"But I thought I killed her!"
"No, you killed Kisame, the wicked witch of the east. That was her sister, the bitch of the west. He's even bitchier than Kisame. And it looks like he kinda wants to kill you now. Sucks to be you." She said, taking a bubble wand out of her pocket and blowing a bubble around herself.
"Wait!" Sasuke yelled to her. "What am I supposed to do?!" Ino rolled her eyes.
"Just go see the wizard of Kohona. She should be able to get you back home." She said getting ready to go. Sasuke called out again.
"Well, how do I get there?!?!" he yelled, looking ticked off.
"Follow the yellow brick road, retard. Haven't you ever seen this movie?" She scoffed, disappearing. The two midgets smiled, hopping around and pushing Sasuke down the yellow road he was on, chanting 'follow the yellow brick road! Follow the yellow brick road!' Sasuke sighed, picking up Akamaru and beginning his journey.
"I don't see why I have to follow the yellow fricking road…" he muttered.