When he drags himself out of bed on Monday morning after fighting with his alarm clock, he finds a text from Sam, big surprise.
We had fun on Sat. Wanna do it again this weekend?
He's tempted, God is he tempted, to ignore the message and force himself to get in the shower, but the use of the word "we" reminds him how far behind he is on his brother's life events, which in turn makes him remember his promise to be one less thing for said brother to worry about. He taps out a quick reply.
Sure. But this time I pick where we eat
He knows his brother. He knows that once he realizes Dean is still his normal self and not slipping into life-altering depression or isolation, he'll leave him alone. Well, maybe that's asking a lot, but at least he won't be badgering him every five minutes on how he spends his free time.
Pleased by his good deed, he awards himself an extra-long shower. So long, in fact, that he barely has time to find some clothes to throw on and brush his teeth and he has to forgo an awesome home-cooked breakfast. Again.
He speeds to work, like he usually does, and he narrowly makes it in time for his 7 o' clock appointment. Violet, a twelve year old with a bubbly personality who always wears mismatched socks, is bouncing up and down in her chair in the waiting room when he steps through the door. Her parents' divorce had been pretty hard on her and he'd had to have the ex-couple in to tell them to stop putting her in the middle of their arguments when he'd first started seeing her. He expects this will be one of her last meetings with him and he'd be lying if he said he isn't going to miss the little ball of energy. But he's glad she's finally gotten back to her normal, energetic self.
The day is a whirl of talking about feelings and at one point, Dean even gets out the play-doh when Erik refuses to talk about his recently-dead dog. Kelsea, the oldest patient of the day (in eighth grade), decides Dean's mocking her when he asks a slightly-touchy question, it turns out. Two of the kids start yelling, four of them cry at some point, and when Dean says farewell to the last child of the day, he is so ready to go home and play sick for the rest of the week.
He drives around the city for a whole two hours in order to unwind and get back in a normal state of mind. When he's pointed back in the direction of his apartment, finally resigning himself to going home to bed early, he makes an out-of-character decision. There's a coffee shop he's never been in but it looks pretty empty and therefore safe to check out. He fishes the book he'd bought at the book store the day before from under his jacket in the passenger seat. He's thankful for the lack of a bell on the door when he pushes the door open and he walks up to the counter to buy something and earn his keep for the next hour at least.
A black coffee later, poured by the very bored looking hipster with a bar through his eyebrow, he claims the corner booth with his back to the wall and a perfect view of the whole shop. The business man two tables away and a couple looking deeply into each other's eyes over their chai lattes near the opposite wall pay no attention to him so he can easily slouch in his chair and lose himself in his new book.
He hates the main character, like really hates him. He's a kid with shitty friends who makes even shittier decisions. Beginning with stealing cars and going as far as to rape women in front of their husbands. He makes it to when Alex is in prison and the little fucker hates it and he thinks he might finally get what he deserves when the sound of the man behind the counter cleaning the machines snaps him out of his reveries. A quick look at his watch reveals that it's past ten and he hurries to exit the now-empty shop. His mind is sluggish as he climbs into his car and drives home, his mind still on the pages of the story and finding it hard to focus on the laundry and cleaning he's got to do when he gets there.
He's still thinking about it when he gets into bed. He marvels about why in the hell anyone would make their main character such a dick. Castiel's gonna get an earful if Alex gets out of this book alive.
He dreams of operas and face masks and driving down the highway, and when he wakes up he almost forgets where he is. He's wistful over the feeling of the open road, but he stops that train of thought before it can begin. He busies himself with getting ready and prepares himself for a day of listening and note-taking.
…
When the weekend rolls around, he's thoroughly confused. Alex doesn't die in the end of the book, and he doesn't get why that's okay with him. This kid did horrible, terrible things to people and somehow he comes out on top and Dean finds himself identifying with him. He'd spent two more nights at the new-found coffee shop on James Street and found it kind of difficult to put the book down. He hopes it doesn't become a habit and he starts being one of those people who spends all their extra cash on their caffeine addiction daily. He considers texting Sam to ask him to punch him if he ever sees him order a latte or cappuccino or anything with the words "low-fat" in them.
Dean skips the dress shirt and tie before heading to Sam's, he's picking the restaurant so he needn't worry about meeting a dress code. Still, he slides on his nicer jeans so Jess doesn't see him for the total slob he is. At least not right away.
When they're all out on the porch after dinner at Sam's place with beers, Dean's a bit surprised because he had Jess pegged as a wine-drinker, he can't help asking his intellectual brother about the frustrations on his mind. Plus, it never hurts to remind the kid that he's not a total caveman, despite his love for movies and his rare interest in politics.
He waits for a lull in the conversation before he asks. "Hey, Sammy. You ever read 'A Clockwork Orange'?" He notes the familiarity in Sam's face and he thinks he's going to get some answers before Sam responds.
"I haven't read it but I've heard about it. Why?" And, his heart falls. He was kind of hoping to have at least a bit of a handle on it before discussing it with Cas-tiel so he doesn't come off as a total idiot.
"No reason. Never mind." Sam surprisingly lets it go at that and their conversation moves along to other topics.
By Sunday morning, Dean's ready to demand answers. So much so, that he doesn't waste any time searching for another book and stalking the checkout counter before he trudges up to it, admittedly impatient.
"What hell was this even about?" He practically growls at the woman behind the counter, before realizing that, yep, Cas didn't recently grow breasts, and yep, that's Cas giggling at him from behind the aisle where he's stocking books.
Despite the redness that is absolutely flooding his face, he manages to apologize to the startled woman and stalk over to Castiel, who seems to have recovered his composure. At least he's laughing and not glaring at him. Clearly the name-slip hadn't been as big of a deal as Dean made it in his head. Dean being Dean, he decides to push his luck, "Hey, Cas."
Cas sort of laughs in response while he shelves a couple paperbacks. "How are you,… D?" Dean tries to hold in his laughter, he really does, but a few chuckles escape and Cas' cheeks redden.
"Yeah, I suck at nicknames." He rubs a hand across his face to hide his embarrassment and if those red ears poking out through his bedhead aren't the cutest thing Dean's seen…
Cas recovers his face gets filled with excitement as he turns to face Dean head on, ignoring the box of books at his feet. "So? Did ya like it?" Dean thinks he might be mocking him a bit but he answers honestly anyway.
He almost whines when he replies, "I'm so confused." Cas' smile is egging him on so he keeps going, "what the hell was the point? And why don't I absolutely hate this Alex kid, anymore?"
Cas actually laughs now. "What makes you think I've read it?" He raises his eyebrows and pins his teasing eyes on Dean.
"Please tell me you have. I need to talk to someone about this. And you're all book clerk-y and look like you stayed up reading last night instead of sleeping and then forgot to brush your hair," and he's rambling now, and probably seems like he's insulting the man.
To his surprise, Cas doesn't take offense, instead he grins before putting on a worried expression. "Is it that obvious?" He breaks character though, "Alright, alright. I have read it. Would you like to go get coffee and talk about it?" Cas is serious again, and now Dean's palms are sweating in that totally gross way.
Flirting was one thing, but going to coffee… "Don't you have to finish your shift? I can't really stick around 'til the end of it." It's a cop out, and a bad one at that. But he's a good liar, and Dean's pretty sure Cas'll buy it.
"No need," Cas retorts, "I know the owner." Dean's hears a weird inflection in Cas' voice at that but he'd too busy trying to think up another excuse to comment on it.
He wants to say no. He wants to say no so bad. But those deep, blue eyes are trained on him and he finds the four syllables slipping out without his consent: "Alright, where at?" And he'd take it back if that answering smile wasn't the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his life.
So he walks alongside Cas as he leads him to the "best place in the area. I swear, their tea is perfectly brewed." Dean could care less about tea, but the rhythmic enthusiasm in Castiel's hands as he talks about it make it hard for him to not keep asking him questions, even if he has no idea what Earl Grey is.
The place is only two blocks away and their seated with a black coffee for Dean and a well-sugared tea for Cas. Dean tries to keep his eyes from widening as Cas empties packet after packet into the paper cup. He'd seen the man's shirt inch up to reveal his hipbone when he'd reached for a napkin and it's a mystery how he could be so slim when he drowns his tea in granulated sweetener.
"…he was cured and then…"
"…and that's why they undid it so…"
"…but why do I end up okay with the ending?"
He can tell Cas is entertained by his enthusiasm, and Dean can admit he's even a bit surprised the book's affected him so much. "That's the whole point of the book. If someone can't choose between good and evil then there is no good." Now Cas' eyes are all lit up and his hands are back at their rapid waving with those long fingers and Dean almost forgets to listen for the answers he's been waiting for. "…would argue that the lack of the possibility of a choice results in more of a thing than a person. Free will is what puts humans apart from everything else."
"Well, I guess that's an idea that I can get behind." Dean manages to respond, despite those piercing eyes focused directly on his own.
Their beverages are long gone, and Dean finds himself wishing he'd drank his slower to have a reason to prolong his stay across the table from this pleasing, alluring creature. Castiel seems to have the same thought as he looks wistfully at their empty cups and that dreamy look returns the logic to Dean's mind. This can't become more than a flirtation, it can't progress into something Dean will regret. It can't be a repeat of the last time.
His contemplation has him formulating his goodbye, and he can see that Cas knows his thoughts when he slowly slides his chair away from the table. "Well, I gotta get out of here. Thanks for clearing things up!" Cas looks sad. They always do.
"Alright, Dean. Hope to see you in the store soon." Cas is still sitting so Dean feels pretty awkward as he waves and walks toward the door and pushes to open it. And it doesn't move. And he realizes the little sign instructing him to 'pull'. And Cas is definitely smirking at him when he glances back in mortification, but it's the good kind of smirk, the one that says 'you're adorable' and not 'it must be embarrassing to be you.' So he smiles back as he rolls his eyes and pulls the door open.
AUTHOR's NOTE
Thanks for reading guys! This is my first attempt at an AU and I'm finding it sooo much more fun than the fics that follow canon. I'd love to know what you guys think of it! Anyone ever read 'A Clockwork Orange'? Oh! And I totally forgot to put this in the summary but later chapters may warrant a higher rating, I'm not exactly certain where the story's going to end up yet so consider yourself warned. But until then I don't see any reason to change the rating. Thanks again!