AN: Not my property…
2.
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Dinner time rolled around much too quickly. I was dreading being in the same room as Severus. But I put on a smile and walked with a group of Gryffindor girls to the Great Hall. The girls all eagerly told me of their plans for the coming two weeks and while tales of Aspen and Paris were interesting I was relieved to see Grace had saved me a seat beside her.
"Carline, that sounds like a really exciting holiday. I know you'll be busy being a glamorous skier, but will you write me everyday and tell me about your escapades?" I asked Carline. She assured me she would and then we parted ways after I shared with her some advice about chair lifts. She was a pureblood and was unfamiliar with the idea of moving chairs.
Finally I sat down next to Grace and gave her a smile. "Thanks for the seat mate."
"Sure thing. Where is Carline going anyways? Her suitcase is the size of a train."
"Aspen. Lucky girl," I said before greedily grabbing a biscuit and taking an unceremonious big bite out of it.
"Oh. Lucky indeed. I'm stuck for a whole week at my Aunt Maggie's place. How will I cope? She'll make me bake cookies and sing 'Oh Christmas Tree' a billion times. The whole thing is down right ghastly."
I giggled through a mouthful of biscuit and managed to say, "Dreadful."
"Remus, I don't think Lily understands the full severity of it all," Grace complained to her boyfriend who was seated on her other side.
"No Grace, she said dreadful it can't get any more accurate than that." He replied.
Grace sighed and buttered a roll of her own then muttered, "Catastrophic, tortuous…"
"Cruel, inhumane." Remus agreed.
"Luckily you'll only be a town away." Grace told him with a tender smile.
Remus puffed out his chest and said, "I'll bewitch your Aunt Maggie in her sleep to prove my love."
Grace laughed and a smile snaked it's way onto her lips, "Bewitch her how?"
Remus grinned and said quietly, "Cold sores."
"My hero!" Then they abandoned their plates of food to snog passionately.
James sidled up to the table just then with Peter Pettigrew, a buck toothed boy with dimples, and Sirius Black, a dashing fellow with dark hair and a heart melting smile.
"Oh Merlin, they are so precious I might be sick." Sirius howled covering his face. In retaliation Remus and Grace flicked spoonfuls of mashed potatoes at him.
"Hello chums." James said taking a seat opposite of me his plate piled high with food.
"Careful of the potato brigade," I warned him dryly pointing lazily at Grace and Remus who had gone back to snogging indecently.
"Hey Lily!" Peter greeted me cheerfully flashing a toothy grin.
" 'Lo Peter. How'd that final go?" I asked him referring the Charms midterm I'd spent a couple of afternoons helping him prepare for.
Around a forkful of yams he told me, "It went quite good."
"Excellent." I picked up the fork placed to my right and examined it for spots before using it to scoop a mountain of stew onto my plate. Next I held up my cup to make sure it was clean and then poured milk into it. I took a large gulp.
"Ah- refreshing. Say, I wonder who decided to milk a cow for the first time anyways," I pondered aloud before eating some stew off my plate.
Grace giggled and gestured like she was milking a cow and Peter coughed into his hand with a laugh. Sirius made a face and then laughed but James said, "You would wonder about something like that." This made Sirius laugh harder and he banged his fists on the table top.
"Oh shut up," I scowled and took another sip of milk.
"Lily I have a serious question for you," Sirius said unexpectedly.
"Oh Merlin, not another would you rather scenario." I rolled my eyes.
"You must have an O in divination because that is exactly what it is!" Peter chuckled at the crack. "Awlright here it is the question of the night… Would you rather be pecked to death in an obscure Owlery, or, let the giant squid in the lake eat you?"
"I'd rather let the squid eat me." I replied and James made a face as I said it.
"Even if your body was excreted whole?" Sirius asked eagerly making the table groan in disgust.
"Oh that's sick. Fine, no, I'd want to be pecked to death then."
"Ha!" He triumphed, "Got you to change your mind." Then he gave Remus a high five of victory.
I scoffed and said, "Yeah but you didn't tell me this was going to be circumstantial."
Grace nodded and pointed an accusatory finger at Sirius, "You've got to call circumstances before you do that."
"Pssht. Very well then next time I'll call circumstances and you will still loose and change your mind."
"We'll see about that." With that I flicked a pea from my stew at Sirius and he ducked and returned the favor by wiping a handful of dressing on my sleeve. Laughing I wiped my arm on Grace who protested loudly drawing the attention of the entire Great Hall. Sheepishly I looked around and spotted Severus looking at me stone faced. My good mood vanished and I had to fight the urge to make a rude hand gesture at him.
My appetite vanished along with my good humor and I pushed my plate away from me in repugnance. James nudged my legs underneath the table with his feet. I looked up at him and he mouthed to me, "Cheer up sunshine."
Sighing I faked a smile then began to twirl my hair restlessly while Grace finished eating. I was hoping she'd use her best friend intuition and realize I needed some healthy distractions. Unfortunately she was very much absorbed in Remus despite the fact they would only be a ten minute broom ride away from each other over the holiday.
We ended up sitting at the table long after the dishes cleared, magically of course, and long after all the other students left to enjoy their last night at Hogwarts. We talked amongst ourselves bantering back and forth laughing at the other's expense. But finally late into the evening Peter stood from the wooden bench and stretched.
His back gave a chorus of sickening cracks but he only laughed. "Well, I've still got to get up early to pack my things. Night." Then he excused himself and left the Great Hall. I saw in the corner of my eye Remus and Grace exchange a look and right on cue Remus declared, "Yes, well I've got some last minute things to do tonight too. Good night Lily. See you mates in the dorm."
He got up too and left, Grace hot on his heels with the excuse that she had to, "Fold my clothes just right to prevent wrinkles." Sirius coughed and it sounded something like, "Liar." I snickered as Grace feigned confusion.
"Well it looks like it's just us." James said looking from me to Sirius.
"Sorry to disappoint. But I've actually got a couple of ladies to wish farewell to tonight. I've put them off for far too long this night. Duty calls."
I watched him go and noticed a pretty blonde 5th year waiting for him at the doors of the Great Hall. He snaked an arm around her and they walked out of my sight.
Shaking his head James said, "Who needs 'em. I'm sure you can entertain me all by your lonesome Evans."
I stifled a yawn, "Oh yeah, I'm tons of fun." James gave me a wry smile.
"Look at you practically a narcoleptic. I saw you trying to hide it all night." I giggled.
"Can't help it if you're a bore."
"Touché. As much as I know you'd like to deprive yourself more sleep we ought to get out of here and take care of duties. Before I end up carrying you again." James stood but I suddenly snapped awake.
"What?" I demanded more than asked.
"What?" He asked me back.
"Don't answer with a question. What are you talking about?"
"Nothing." He averted his eyes and pressed on toward the doors. Feeling a bit uncomfortable I followed wondering if the dream I had of James carrying me up a set of stairs was actually not a dream. Decidedly denying I shrugged it off and fell into step beside him.
"Is Sirius going to be here over holiday?" I inquired changing the subject.
"No, he's in the same boat as Grace. An awful aunt to visit this year."
"No envy there."
"None what so ever." We exchanged smiles and for a moment I wondered if James was going to try to stick his hand in my pockets. Then I realized I didn't have any pockets for him to stick his hands in.
Interrupting my thoughts someone shouted from a nearby corridor. We quickened our pace and rounded a corner to find a couple of arrogant 2nd years picking on a cowering 1st year. I became enraged.
"What's this all about then?" I asked loudly startling the 2nd years. I stared at each one menacingly. A short chubby one in the front opened his mouth and replied, "Nothing ma'am."
James lifted an eyebrow. "Doesn't look like nothing."
"What are you the nothing expert?" A scrawny 2nd year asked from beside the chubby one.
"As a matter of fact I am. Certified and everything. In my professional opinion this looks very much like something." I bit my lip to keep a smile off my face.
"They're mad cause I accidentally broke the wings off their wind-sweeper." The 1st year said meekly referring to the broken broom figurine on the floor.
"Is that so." I bent down to be face to face with the 1st year and I asked, "You said it was an accident?" He nodded his head. I rounded on the 2nd years, "He said it was an accident so why are you pressing it?" None of them had an answer.
"That'll just be two days detention with McGonagall. To teach you about forgiveness and understanding. Now it's past your curfew please go to your common rooms and stay there."
"Don't let us catch you misbehaving again or McGonagall detention will look generous." I warned. The kids scattered off like dogs with their tails between their legs.
"Kids." James said with a sigh. Then we continued our stroll through the halls with little incident.
Finally we came upon the Gryffindor common room and James, the gentleman, walked me to the staircase. I wasn't surprised to find the room empty. Everyone was resting up after finals no doubt.
"Well, night then." He said to me. There was a pause after he said that where we looked at each other awkwardly. I was just about to go when he cleared his throat. He seemed nervous and when his hand flew to his hair and rumpled it I knew for a fact he was.
"Yeah?"
"Well, erm…I was just thinking that it'll just be us this holiday." He began and I wasn't sure if I liked where he was going.
"That's true." I said.
"Well, I was wondering if you'd want to maybe sneak into Hogsmead with me, or maybe go skating. Or something…" He wasn't blushing but he was shifting his legs a lot.
"Uhm. Yeah alright." I agreed but then stupidly I added, "But just as friends." I could have kicked myself seeing the way his face fell a bit.
"Of course!"
"Well I just meant…" I stammered. "I just meant that. Well you know."
By the look on James's face I could tell he had no clue. So I awkwardly shook his hand and then hurried up the stairs. "Night, Potter."
When I got to my dorm I found Betha and Louise still up and packing at a glacial pace. Grace hadn't returned from her adventure with Remus though. I sat down on my bed and the girls greeted me with broad smiles. They fell back into meaningless conversation as I rummaged through the trunk at the foot of my bed.
Finally feeling the coarse yarn on my fingertips I grabbed the ball of yarn and pulled it out glad to see my knitting needles were securely in place. I changed into a plain purple top and a pair of silky white bottom then settled into my soft bed and fought sleep to knit a perfect pair of socks.
I finished the socks that night but fell asleep immediately after. I awoke from a nightmare sweaty and hot. Grace had finally made it to bed and Betha was snoring loudly like always. It was very late and I shoved the covers off me to sit up. Looking down at my lap I saw the perfect socks and felt comforted by them.
My nightmare had been about Severus. In my dream I saw his veined arm outstretched with a horrible long fingered hand carving a skull and snake into his white skin with a gnarled wand. I could hear his moans of pain still and thinking about it sent a chill down my spine. A lingering feel of evil hung over me and so I decided to get up. Without thinking I took the socks with me and before I noticed I had climbed the stairs to the boys dormitory and was peeking through doors trying to find James to give him his gift.
Stopping mid step I was still with horror.
I was in the boy's dormitory.
Looking for James Potter.
To give him a pair of socks.
At probably two in the morning.
Feeling the part of the stupid idiot I was playing I slapped my hand to my forehead and turned on my heel to go back into my bed.
"Evans…?" Came a drowsy voice from behind me.
I held my breath and shut my eyes tightly praying it was my imagination playing tricks on me. But the sound of bare feet on the cold stone floor assured me this was all very real. And mortifying.
I whirled around to find James standing a few feet away from me in a pair of plaid pajamas and no shirt. Oh Merlin.
"Uh." I said dully.
Surprising me James asked, "Are you okay?" His voice was filled to the brim with concern.
"Uh." I repeated. Then foolishly I held out the socks to him.
He stepped forward and took them from me. In the dark I saw his gleaming smile. He fiddled with the socks and whispered to me, "Incredibly soft." He still hadn't asked why on earth I was giving him the socks at two am.
"Yeah." I whispered back a bit breathy. "I can't sleep." I admitted.
"You want some company?"
"I don't know. But something feels…" I paused groping in the dark for the right word to express the fear I'd felt in my dorm. I settled for, "yucky." James walked over to me and I could see his eyes were kind of closed with weariness and his hair was ruffled.
Before I could say anything else he took my hand in his and we sat down on the floor in the boy's dormitory corridor. Our knees touched and I felt a smile creep its way onto my face at the sight of James's bare feet beside my own.
Seeing my look James mocked offense and put on the socks I had made him. I giggled but tried to muffle it with my hand. He gave me a gentle smile and whispered, "That's it sunshine. Smile."
Then I did another stupid thing. I told James Potter, "I like it when you call me that."
"What? Sunshine?"
"Yeah." I blushed a furious blush.
"I like calling you it."
"Well I'm glad we both like something."
"Me too." He agreed.
I snorted and said, "We need to stop agreeing, it's unnatural." His fingers stroked my hand.
"Or maybe you could tell me more about this yucky thing…?"
I took a shuddering breath I'd meant to hide. "It's nothing."
"Mmm, I see. Must I remind you of my qualifications in the nothing department?" I shrugged in reply. "Was it like the kind of yucky you feel when you're home alone and you hear a creak? Or the kind of yucky that you feel when you had some bad cabbage?"
"The former."
"Well, don't you worry a bit." He said reassuringly and I occupied myself by looking at his bare, toned arms.
"I can't help it. I think Sev is in trouble." After I said that I got the feeling James wanted to let go of my hand and I looked up in his eyes hesitantly. His face had hardened slightly but his hands were sweet as ever on my own.
"I think that might be your guilt about today." He said extra quiet.
"Maybe."
"Just don't forget that Snivellus is perfectly aware of his actions. These aren't mistakes. He knows what he is doing and what it's doing to you."
"Yeah." The cold of the floor started to numb my behind as we sat there. "My bum is cold."
"Blasted floors." James said with humor.
"Sadly I think my bed might be colder yet." I sighed thinking of my sweat soaked sheets.
James leaned in close to me and whispered, "If I could knit, I'd knit you a new bed." I guffawed at the thought of James with knitting needles. "If you want you're welcome in my bed."
I looked up at James and gave him a reproachful look, "Yeah right."
He shrugged, "Just offering."
I yawned and gave his hand a squeeze, "I'll just have to suffer." But suddenly the thought of going back into my bed made me uneasy.
James stood up abruptly and held out a finger to tell me to wait. He tiptoed into his dorm which I counted was the third door on the left and returned with a massive quilt. It was made up of Quidditch team logos and I wanted to laugh at the predictability of it all. James Potter with a Quidditch quilt!
"Here you are. To chase away the chill. This is the warmest blanket I have ever owned. It will keep you toasty." Then as if I were a child he wrapped me up in the quilt. Funnily enough I did feel warmer, but it was deeper than just temperature.
"Thank you." He adjusted the quilt to snuggle closely around my neck as I said this.
"You bet." I wanted to hug him or something to show my gratitude but somehow I found myself walking away already leaving him shirtless, sleepy, and sweet in the hallway. When I got back to my bed I fell into it with James's blanket securely around me and fell asleep without a worrisome thought.
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