AN: Forgive me for the note I left at the bottom of the last chapter. I meant "inspired by the italicized lines above". I tend to be anal about little details like that and I just had to post a sort of erratum.
Anyway, this second chapter was inspired by another set of lines. Thank you to those who submitted reviews. I am truly grateful for your kind words and encouragement. And since it seems that I'm on a roll now that I have finally set my "writing bug" out of the proverbial closet, feel free to watch out for another story from yours truly as soon as I lay this one to rest.
Peace and out.
Chapter II
Pain is when you can't breathe
Even if your chest still rises and falls
Rain was beating down hard that day. Most people opted to stay indoors and keep warm while some bathed in the glory that only raindrops seem to bring.
I'm one of the latter, she mused idly.
Or not…How else can one explain why she's out getting soaked, walking towards nowhere?
She glances at the people around her and notes that most of them are in a hurry to find shelter, to get home, probably to someone who's waiting. She smiles bitterly and thinks that she has nowhere to go.
No particular home, just shelter.
No one will be waiting for her with arms ready to take her in and give her warmth.
She's being unfair, she's aware of that. After all, she does have a home, though unconventional at best. She has a weird make-up of a family that Booth had introduced her to outside the diner, that one time when everything seemed to be falling apart. They care for her, they love her. Angela will be in a state of panic by now if she doesn't thumb her mobile back on and will probably be waiting at her apartment too. Brennan knows that her father tries to keep tabs on her and so does Russ. She won't be surprised if this single jaunt in the rain will reach her father and then try to talk to her all about it the next time she goes to visit him.
She breathes in deeply and a shiver runs through her at the same time.
She's being unfair for thinking and believing she's all alone but…
How can she tell them that the pain is just too much? Sometimes it hurt to even breathe.
Sadness is when you look out the window
And think the raindrops are your tears
She knows there are people who are out there looking for her, looking out for her. But can Brennan fully explain to them that it's someone else's warmth that she's looking for? That it's someone else she wants, trying to coax her into talking about what she isn't even sure about? That someone who will push and prod but knows exactly when to step back and allow her time to respond? To think? That someone who will be absolutely pissed and worried at the same time, berating her, asking "what the hell were you thinking?" and yet be all over her, trying to get her warmed up.
Someone whom she trusts implicitly, enough to lower her defenses and allow him to take care of her because she knows he would never hold it against her for being vulnerable, crazy, brash, blunt and sometimes even downright foolish and naïve.
Will they understand, if she tells them that even if they could and would do all of the above for her, it would all still fall short?
Brennan snaps back to reality when she finally notices where she has ended up, walking aimlessly.
Apparently, aimlessly enough.
Of course, she ends up right there where they last saw each other.
Brennan hurries out of her car just in time to see Booth getting into his SUV.
She calls out, "Booth!"
He stiffens noticeably and freezes mid-motion of shutting the car door close.
"Booth, wait!"
She sees him clench a hand on the door handle and she wonders once again just what the hell was wrong?
It almost seemed as if he didn't want to see her.
But that couldn't be it, right? She hasn't done anything to warrant his anger lately? And she was fairly certain that he had no idea she was the one who put glue on that poker chip he loved to fiddle with. Then again, this is Booth we're talking about, she muses.
She grabs onto the partly opened car door and barely notices a curtain swing back in place from the window near the porch.
"Booth, we need to talk."
"Bones, I…I have to leave. I've said my goodbyes and—"
"Do you really call that scene in my apartment earlier a proper goodbye?" She doesn't even try to hide the tone of hurt in her question.
"I thought you and Sully needed to—"
"Screw Sully, Booth! What the hell do you think was I going to do? Kick you out just because he's such a stubborn asshole who can't take 'no' for an answer?" She's pissed and she doesn't try to hide that from him either.
Her indignant voice seems to snap him out of his stupor and Booth was looking at her as if he was seeing her for the first time.
Forget what everyone else thought about her. Brennan finally begins to think she has this all figured out.
"Booth…you didn't honestly think…Sully and I…?" Her voice trails off and they both end up staring at each other for God knows how long.
He clears his throat and looks away. "How was I supposed to know otherwise?" he mumbles.
Booth is surprised when she replies, "Follow me."
He whips his head back around at her and notes an expression he can't quite decipher on her face.
"Look, I really have to—" she cuts him off immediately with a look that meant he either follow her or suffer the consequences. Knowing his partner, he has a feeling it's bound to be of the physical kind. And most likely not the kind he fantasized about unless you had a thing for being flipped onto the ground and pounded for good measure.
Seeing that he has given in, she turns back toward her car but stops briefly to give him a look and say, "You try to outrun me with that tank of yours and I swear I'll find a way to find you wherever it is you get sent to and shoot you."
Seeley Booth almost laughed at that one. Who ever thought he would be the one considering the act of running away and Bones, the one trying to get him to stay?
Well at least stay a little longer.
He only had a few hours left.
Temperance feels a painful smile flit onto her lips as she takes a seat on one of the steps.
It has been eight months since she last saw her partner. Three since she last heard from him. Two weeks since he was reported MIA.
In those two weeks, she feels like every possible scenario had played their part in her dreams. Each one, always ending with her reaching towards that empty space beside her, trying to listen to a voice that she's afraid she might soon forget. Each dream ending in the same way every night—with her in a crowd full of people and yet feeling as alone as ever.
Loneliness is when you feel a hand touching yours
Even if there's none
She wraps her arms around herself and wonders if she ought to continue like this, waiting, even if she knows the statistics, the probability…
Even if she knows what the others are saying, thinking, yet couldn't bring themselves to tell it to her face.
Angela treats her like she might break at the slightest disturbance.
And sometimes, Brennan feels that way too. She feels like she's ready to break anytime soon.
Desperation is when you wait for a message that will never come.
Brennan admits she's almost ready to pray to Booth's God. Anything to bring him back to her, pray for him to be there waiting for her when she gets home.
She's scared as hell to admit it but she fears she might even be ready to pray for that message to end her misery, to end this waiting.
But she won't. She can't.
But dear lord, she's so scared.
Scared that she might forget what he looks like, how his voice rumbles in frustration, in joy, even in pain. How he laughs at her and with her.
She misses when he calls her name. Not Temperance, not Brennan…just Bones.
She's so scared of what a future without him will look like.
Brennan quickly stands up and brushes away the mixture of rain and tears from her cheeks futilely. It's still pouring like cats and dogs, she idly thinks.
For a moment a smile almost slips past her grief when she remembers how proud Booth looked like when she used that phrase correctly.
It's memories like those that she strives to keep and treasure.
She'll wait for him to come home. She will not wish for anything else otherwise.
…and love is when you experience all these things
And still open your heart to that someone
Booth is worth all the hope and longing, all the tumult of emotions she now experiences endlessly. He is after all, one of the best things to ever happen to her.
In the meantime, she's nothing if not stubborn and persistent. Booth remarked once that he admires her ability to go after what she wants and actually obtain it. Well she'll show him once more.
This time, not only does she want it, but she needs it too.
Face your fears, they say.
Then it's time to face those fears head on. Scared of forgetting everything about the love of your life? Then she'll do everything to remember.
Angela will no doubt be willing to draw her a few sketches. Hell, she might even indulge Brennan in wallpapering her apartment with Booth's face if need be.
Now about his voice, she'll have to call up Hodgins and verify whether the government really does place insects on everyone's phone lines. Although she has no idea how in the world such creatures can do such things. Or maybe Cullen…
I hope you're still with me. I'll try to update as soon as I'm able to leave work where it belongs—in the office. The rest of what supposedly happens right before Booth leaves shall be available in the next chapter.