"Hello, Margaret! So, when is the flight? "
"Well, that's what I am calling about."
"Are you all right? Not...sick are you?"
"Alan Eppes, I am fit as a fiddle. Just because I had a hysterectomy does not mean I'm going to keel over."
"No, of course not, I just - worry. It's my job to worry."
"And you do it so well." Margaret Eppes said dryly. "Charley got a going away present from one of his professors, a Dr. Nash."
"Something nice?"
"Oh yes, it was a blackboard on which Dr. Nash wrote his equations of game theory and got a Nobel Prize in 1995."
"Wow, wait, this blackboard, how big is it?" Alan Eppes said skeptically.
Margaret Eppes gave a big sigh. "Too big for airplane, too expensive to ship, and too valuable to Charlie to leave behind. I think we can tie it to the roof of the station wagon and drive home."
"ALL The Way from Jersey? "
"It's important to Charlie. He says he thinks better when writing on a blackboard."
Alan Eppes gave a large sigh. "You spoil the boy." he said in capitulation.
"Oh, Alan, if only we could keep him a boy. There he was with all those old men, telling them things they took years to understand. He lost so much of his childhood!" She sniffed audibly.
"Margie, Margie, shh, shh." Her husband soothed her. "We knew there would be sacrifices for all of us, and especially for Charlie. If," he added, "you want to drive across country with your son and a blackboard then do it. Take your time, see some sights. What is that place in Kansas with the world's largest ball of twine? Go there. Have fun, make sure Charlie has fun."
"Alan, you are the best father and husband in the world!"
"Of course I am. Now, drive careful."
"I will dear, I love you!"
"Love you too!"
The Greyhound bus stopped in a swirl of dust at what seemed to be the middle of nowhere.
"Apache Springs!" The driver called out to the half-empty bus. A young man with long blonde hair and glasses got up from his seat and exited the bus. Before he could swing his backpack up on his shoulder the bus was already leaving. The only sign of civilization was a wooden bench and the remains of a car rusting by the side of the road. A cloud of dust from a dirt road indicated that his ride was coming.
Dr. Daniel Jackson, PhD in Archeology, PhD in Linguistics, and 19 year-old stood waiting to meet a colleague, and a friend.
The dust cloud came to a halt, revealing an old pick-up truck that was once green, but now wore the permanent red dust of the desert region of Arizona. Daniel grinned, and then sombered, what if Blair Sandburg didn't recognize him? He raised a hand in greeting as the young man hopped out of the cab of the truck and bounced over to greet him.
"Daniel? Way cool!" Daniel found himself pulled into an enthusiastic hug which he found himself returning in relief.
The two young men grinned and then shook hands.
"I read your article..." Both began at once as they were getting into the truck.
A silence set over them as Blair coaxed the truck into starting.
"Did you..." Blair began.
"Like it?" Daniel finished. They both glanced at each other out of the corner of their eyes and then burst out laughing together.
"Oh yeah!" Blair began and started bouncing even before the rutted road would do the bouncing for them. "The written evidence was quite clear in my mind. To compare hieroglyphs to historical accounts in other countries was a piece of genius."
"You found over fifty subjects with two heightened senses! That is an amazing piece of research!" Daniel began to wax enthusiastically.
The two began to yell questions and answers at each other as they jounced and bounced down the road towards their destination. When Blair would take his hands off the wheel to illustrate a point with his hands, Daniel would take over the steering. By the time they reached the Indian reservation where Blair was doing research they were trading anthropologist and archeologist jokes which would have surprised many of their colleagues since they were known to be extremely focused and serious about their work, or at least that was the role they were creating.
Blair told this one which had Daniel punching him on the arm for punning.
A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"
Daniel countered with this one which had both boys, (for at heart they were still boys), gasping for breath and pounding on the dashboard of the truck in glee.
A week or so ago several British newspapers ran a story about
the oldest joke in world, which was found by The British Museum's
Egyptology department on a slip of papyrus. It was told in 2600 BC
about the pharaoh Sneferu by his chief magician Djadjamankh.
How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?
You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets
down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish.
Daniel then told the joke again in Arabic, which sent them both howling with laughter, as this was even funnier. (Some things just get lost in translation.) This degraded into several smutty jokes told in various languages including one in sign that almost crashed the truck.
Daniel held the steering wheel while Blair wiped his eyes with a bright colored handkerchief.
"Hey, Daniel, umm have you ever visited a native American village before?"
"Would it be any different than Egypt?" Daniel asked and wiped his own eyes and face with Blair's handkerchief.
"Well, yeah. Here you don't know the language. Or at least in your case, not right away. It took me ages to be accepted and only because the local medicine man saw I wasn't there to exploit them or publish their tribal secrets. Like I said in the letter to you man, I think the symbols the chief mentioned might have bearing on your research, I mean way cool if you found Phoenician or Linear 1 glyphs!" Blair then continued, "Listen, Daniel, you have to appear non-threatening, but at the same time you have to show firmness of purpose. You are not there to be pushed around." Blair peered through the dusty windshield and began to slow down as trailers, houses, and other signs of civilization could be seen.
"When you get out of the truck - show your hands and assure them that you coming not to change their lives, but to learn about theirs. Show curiosity, but be cautious. And eat anything that is put in front of you."
"I'm not exactly a novice," Daniel snorted, but was thankful for the advice. Daniel had not travelled as extensively as Blair, and although he was born in Egypt, and had gone back there for some post-doctrate work, he'd not had that much opportunity to see new places. When Blair had written him, he'd jumped at the chance, not only for research purposes, but to see new places and people and meet up again with someone he'd been friends with one long summer ago.
Charlie very happily mapped out their itinerary taking them at what at seemed was a meandering loop through North Carolina, Kentucky, Arkansas, Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona to have a look at the Grand Canyon which Margaret was looking forwards to seeing. He'd calculated fuel costs and rest stops and took them on several scenic routes instead of the main highways. It was a bit of a wandering itinerary and she was looking forwards to it.
If Margaret Eppes had known of her son's secondary reason for the whole road trip idea, she maybe wouldn't have been so eager to set out. She did notice that all the rest stops and overnights were at towns she'd never heard of and some were off the main highways, but not too far off. The hotels were comfortable, but not overpriced. She should have guessed from the list of names like Sylacauga, Alabama; Blowing Rock, North Carolina; Gurdon, Arkansas; Cave City, Kentucky; and Marfa, Texas.
Everyone of the towns had a 'mystery site' which Charlie was bound and determined to debunk. In their first year at Princeton, Charlie had gone through a phase where he didn't want to be seen in public with his mother. Luckily, he grew out of it, but now Margaret had a feeling she didn't want to be seen in public with her son, who quite loudly measured, reputed, and embarrassed her soundly at one tourist attraction after another.
The rest of the trip, Charlie was more than human, he made her put her feet up at the hotel and would serve her tea, or a cold drink and tell her cheerfully how many miles they had travelled and the mean averages of fuel consumption, time, and other minutiae which delighted his heart, and so delighted his mother. If it wasn't for the mystery sites and the low ache in her back from too much driving, it would be the perfect road trip.
Daniel and Blair sat stiffly in the dainty rococo chairs of the village shaman. She had served them tea in delicate porcelain cups and finger sandwiches reposed on a plate between them. The lady of the house was permed and dressed in a simple, but elegant looking trouser suit. She looked like any suburban housewife except for her eyes which were deep, dark pools in her brown face.
"Eat up boys!" she said lightly. "We have a saying in our family, 'A growing boy is like having a wolf in his belly."
"Would that be an Apache adage, ma'am?" Daniel asked politely and nibbled at the crustless bit of bread and mystery filling. The whole tray wouldn't fill up a bird satisfactorily.
She laughed lightly, "Oh my no! That would be from my Russian grandmother's side of the family. There has been a watering down of the Indian race in the past generations. There are very few true-blooded among us." She paused to take a delicate sip out of her cup and to pat her hair lightly. She put the cup down and then fixed them with a stare that was penetrating. "That is why we look more to those of the true spirit, rather than of blood. You two are brothers, and you will meet others that will not be of your blood, but will be of the same spirit. Hold them close, and keep them safe and you will be protected as well. Now, run along with you and tell JP to take you out to the Looking Rock."
They politely stood up, realizing they had been summarily dismissed. She walked them to the door and before they got up to the white picket fence, they could hear the whine of a vacuum cleaner sucking up the crumbs they had left on the carpet.
"Do you think she wanted us to cut our fingers and mix our blood together?" Blair said half-seriously.
"On her white rug?" Daniel said. "Not a chance."
JP was the epitome of native American, stoic, dressed like a cowboy, and communicated in monosyllabic grunts. When apprised of the errand the shaman had sent him on he made the boys pay for filling up his car with gas and buying three bags of Cheetos and a six pack of root beer.
"Appeasin' the spirits." He grunted and with a clash of gears they drove off into the desert.
Spencer Reed carefully chained up his bicycle at the employee's entrance to the Montecito Hotel on The Strip in Las Vegas.
He'd been working at the casino for almost 7 years now. A schoolmate's father with a gambling problem had counted on Spencer at the age of 12 to dig him out of a financial hole with some unsavory characters. Spencer had been flattered at the attention and the possibility of earning money.
Ed Deline, ex-Secret Service, and head of security had busted up the poker game being held in the Montecito. Even though Spencer refused to talk, it hadn't taken Deline very long to find out his name and circumstances. He offered Spencer something he couldn't refuse, an honest way to make money that would keep him and his mother afloat. Until he was 16 and able to work legit, the Montecito made sure that he had plenty of scholarship money, and then a salary. He willingly spent most summers working for Ed. But, this would be his last summer. He was almost 19 and with his third PhD in Engineering almost done, it was time to find a direction. Ed Deline had already chosen Danny McCoy as his successor and Spencer really had no reason to stay in Las Vegas, except for - his mother. It had been a hard, and lonely decision to have his mother committed as soon as he'd turned 18, a bare seven months ago.
She'd wept, then screamed at him. It took weeks before the drugs began to effect her, and then she was a pale, listless copy of herself. He found it harder and harder to see her, though he wrote to her daily. He wanted - something...