Title: Crooked Teeth
Summary: In which this authoress will attempt to create as many vignette's based on one song as possible. Vignettes all based on the song Crooked Teeth by Death Cab for Cutie.
Spoilers (for this vignette): Essence/ Existence.
Disclaimer: X-Files owned by Chris Carter and Fox. I own nothing, except my laptop.
Random Info: This is what would have happened if Mulder didn't leave Scully and William at the end of season 8. The story takes place 11 months post- Existence, to be exact.
"And we shared a bed, in which I could not sleep, at all."
Scully POV
"Um, Mulder," I shouted into the other room, William speaking nonsense in my arms. "I think we have a problem." He ran into the room, eyes blazing. Even with all that we had done to keep safe, he was still so worried about my and William's safety.
After long nights of thought and talking, Mulder and I decided that it would be best for me to quit the X-files, although he often uses my medical opinion on his many cases. I became a stay-at-home mother, although I kept pestering Mulder that we couldn't support a child on a G-man salary. I planned on taking a teaching job once Mulder came to his senses.
"No, not a problem problem, just- listen to this." I set William down on our bed. "Will, who is that?" I pointed to Mulder., who looked confused.
"Mudda! Mudda!" William shouted gleefully. Mulder still looked slightly puzzled.
"And who am I, Will?" I pointed to myself.
"Ully! Ully!" At this, Mulder began to laugh uncontrollably.
"Mulder, I mean, Daddy," I reprimanded. "This is not at all funny! We've brainwashed our son unknowingly into calling us by our last names!"
"Mudda! Mudda! Mudda!" William kept chanting gleefully, kicking his legs toward "Mudda".
"Come on, Scully," Mulder wheedled, pulling Will into his lap. "This is slightly hilarious."
"This is slightly tragic, Daddy." I shot back. "We can't have Will doing that. He'd be acting too-"
",,too much like us?" Mulder cut me off, grinning as he patted Will's hands together.
"That's exactly the problem. I'm going to go online and figure out how to brainwash Will back to thinking we're Mommy and Daddy. And you," I pointed at him. "Don't say anything potentially scarring to our son while I'm in the other room."
"I love you, Mommy!" Mulder called as I left the room, and I couldn't help smiling. But only a little.
-------
"Okay, Daddy, are you ready?" I set William down between us on the couch.
"As ready as I'll ever be. I don't see how this will work." Mulder grunted, sprawling out on the couch.
"The website says that repetition of the correct name and bonding with both parents should help Will call us by the appropriate name," I said, quoting the web page. "And that is why we are going to watch Dragon Tales while having an intense but easily understandable conversation while constantly referring to ourselves as Mommy and Daddy."
"I think the baby food has addled your brain, Scul-Mommy," Mulder said as I shot him a Look of Death. "Okay, okay, I'll try it." They sat almost wordlessly for a few minutes, the only sound in the room being William's happy nonsense words and Mulder's fake gagging sounds.
"Hey, Mommy," Mulder finally said, breaking the silence.
"Yes, Daddy," I said, beaming at the fact that Mulder was at least pretending to go along with my plan.
"We haven't even began our intense conversation." I turned to face him on the couch.
"Okay, what do you suggest we talk about, Daddy?" Mulder picked Will up and set him on his baby blanket on the ground.
"Hmm, I think we should talk about how Daddy hopes Mommy still knows how to make more little William's," Mulder half-whispered, pulling me into his lap.
"Daddy, what happened to the no-potentially-scarring-conversation rule?" I said as Mulder kissed my neck.
"Mommy, I highly doubt Will is listening. Those animated dragons are intriguing," he said, reaching for my shirt. I got an idea suddenly.
"Whatever you say, Daddy," I whispered sexily into Mulder's ear, and he let go of my clothing.
"And I am so NOT excited anymore," he sat back, chuckling. "That was just creepy."
"What? The Daddy thing isn't a huge turn on?" I teased.
"Surprisingly, no. I mean, everyone says it is, but-"
"..it just doesn't live up to the hype, does it?" I cut him off.
"Exactly," he breathed into my ear, and I relaxed against his chest, listening to the beating of Mulder's heart and to the sound of William imitating the dragons on TV.
------
"Trust me, Mommy, I think this is working, I'm only asking if we have to take it this far," Mulder complained, sitting on the bed in his pajamas, playing with William.
"Bonding never stops, Daddy. If we sleep with him, if he wakes up with a nightmare or something, then Daddy can comfort him appropriately," I stated, smearing moisturizer on my face.
"I am not going to get any sleep tonight, Mommy, that's all I'm saying." Mulder pulled back the covers, and I slid in, with William in my arms. "Besides, what if we roll over and suffocate the poor kid?" He rubbed his nose on William's lovingly.
"If we get so tired that we feel like we are about to roll over and suffocate our child, then I will put him in his bed, okay?" I said, tucking Will in between us.
"Deal, Mommy," Mulder said, flipping the light off.
-----
"Ninety-nine bottles of milk on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of milk," Mulder sang tunelessly to William, as I attempted to sleep beside him.
"Mul-Daddy, what time is it?" He glanced over the clock on our nightstand.
"Two AM." I pushed back my bangs and sighed.
"And what time do you have to wake up for work?" This time I heard Mulder sigh.
"Five-thirty." I sighed once more.
"Okay," I replied, picking up the somewhat sleepy William and putting him in his bed. I walked tiredly back to our room and collapsed into the bed.
"Do you think all of this bonding crap worked?" Mulder asked, pulling the covers over me.
"Well, I'm pretty sure I heard him say "Momllly" as I left the room." Mulder laughed hopelessly.
"Hey, combining the two is better than nothing. Let's get some sleep," Mulder whispered, pulling me closer to him.
"Goodnight, Mulder."
"Goodnight, Mommy."
Author's Note: Another chapter finished, and I am very proud. And I bet you thought something completely different when you heard the prompt "shared a bed", huh? Many thanks to Teliko, who is a faithful reviewer. I hope I didn't misspell your name.