Author Speech: Short I know, but I'm happy with it.
Chapter 2: Links in the Chain
Twinkling lights reflected in the dark eyes of the shadowed shinobi perched atop the rock formation shaped in the form of the passed-but-not-forgotten Third. Sitting with a knee drawn up, the other laid out in front, the contemplative man silently looked out over the darkened village he had ultimately decided to come back to a few years before.
Even from his high location, his eyes could always pick out that one certain light: their light.
The hour was late. Too late. But he knew that she was waiting up for him. Yet, as he had done so many nights before, the resigned ninja stayed his place.
This is for the best
It wasn't that he didn't love her. It was his love that kept him from severing the written contact that they both were still held under.
A contract…
Funny how that word didn't evoke the pain it had before when he had first supplemented its use instead of the actual word. But then again, it was part of the reason he stayed away from her, stilled his hands from reaching out and touching her, clamped his lips from saying anything that held any true meaning.
Its better this way
He had two things in his life that had to be done, no matter the consequences. They held such high importance that he had once told his teacher that he didn't consider those two things dreams because he would complete them. Hell, he had betrayed his entire village, his best friend and the woman he loved to accomplish one.
He had finally killed his hate-filled brother. Uchiha Itachi was dead, his burnt body crushed between fallen rocks in Grass Country -a most fitting resting place in his mind.
And yet…
There still remained an item on that imaginary check list. It wasn't just a wishful dream of a lonely child or a revenge-filled teen. It was a solemn vow that he would carry out as a man. He owed his deceased father and mother, his clan and ancestors. Their blood, their name, their inherited genes would go on.
The Uchiha Clan would be revived. There was no going back now. That night he had visited his parent's grave two months after Sakura's hospitalization, with a clear mind he had renewed that solemn vow.
He had tried. He really had…for her sake. He had tried to go about with the mindset that his words to her in that hospital had suggested; that it didn't matter.
But that nagging sensation under his flesh that made his skin scrawl every time he tried to touch her, the images that clawed at his brain whenever he closed his eyes and tried to lose himself in her image…
His suffering only helped to reinstill that sense of importance, that sense of duty he was bound to.
I can't forget them
Having an heir was the only thing he could do to allow their legacy to grow, to fulfill his role. He had learned along time ago, that sometimes what he wanted didn't necessarily equate to what had to be done, what must be completed.
He knew she wouldn't understand his reasoning. In all actuality, he knew she had every right not to understand, not to hate him, and not to forgive him either. He was aware that if he voiced his resolve, she would only yell, argue, and …cry. The verbal beating and even the physical he could take, but he did love her no matter his actions. To see her cry would only deteriorate his iron will and ultimately only prolong the inevitable.
It has to be done
She would question and try to pick holes in his thinking. But he had already made up his mind. In actuality, his mind had been made up the day the bloodied bodies had been dragged from his home.
Eyes growing heavier with each passing minute, Sasuke silently urged.
Close your eyes and go to sleep Sakura. You must be tired too.
The forced distance he put between them wasn't just for himself. In time the bonds of love they shared would weaken even more so than they had now. Eventually they would break altogether. Resulting in what he hoped to be …her voluntary departure.
He watched that twinkling light finally extinguish with a sigh. Sasuke continued to wait that customary twenty minutes before setting off, a time when he knew she had to have finally nodded off.
It was true that he'd rather have her hate him and be set free than continue to love him and wallow in this god-awful pain Sasuke knew he was creating within her but...
That hate he was trying to form within her could only be installed over time. For in the end he could neither leave nor cheat on her.
He knew this to be true, because… he couldn't even bring himself to try.
In a way, he found it morbidly amusing how what he was doing to her –in a roundabout way- mirrored what Itachi had done to him. Do not love me. Hate me. Become stronger because of me.
Sasuke angry cast aside those thoughts. He wasn't doing this out of some sick and twisted challenge of power. He was doing this because of the fact that he did love her. And also because deep down Uchiha Sasuke knew he was still…a coward.
Maybe in time I'll be strong enough to finally end this charade myself… but until then…
I have to do this
Green eyes finally closed in the darkness, a tear slipping from her lashes.
You can come home now Sasuke-kun
To Be Continued