Chapter 2
Callen got up and looked worriedly towards the cupboard "Are you sure…" he got up and started opening doors, "But…you always have extra!" he looked panicked.
"Mr. Callen…it is only tea…?" Hetty said calmly. "I will admit it is a calming blend, Valerian Root tea does taste nice, but I do have others…" she stopped as he started pulling stuff out of her bottom cupboard where she used to keep her tea. "Mr. Callen?!"
"No….you can't be out of it, I replaced it…Damn!" He stood up and paced. He had meant to replace the box that morning but Sam picked him up for work.
The others in the bullpen looked up at the commotion as Callen ran from Hetty's office down the corridor, past the gym and pulled his keys out.
"There has to be some in here." He said to himself as he opened the door to his room.
He ran to the cupboard on the wall and opened the tea caddy there…"No?!" he yelled throwing the empty box to the floor.
"Mr. Callen…" Hetty stood at the door as the team stood behind her.
"Whoa! Callen…!" Deeks said looking around the room amazed at the coziness of the room he had always assumed just held mops, buckets and brooms.
Callen turned and looked at them, "No…you don't get to come in here…out!" he ordered, he sank into the large armchair with his head in his hands.
"Callen?" Hetty asked walking across the room. "How many cups of that tea do you drink?" she asked.
"I…" Callen looked pleading up at Hetty, "not many …7 or 8…" he admitted.
"Seven or eight cups a week!" Hetty exclaimed in horror the recommended amount was 2 cups a week.
"A day." Callen admitted, "I need it Hetty…" He stood up looking around, ignoring the shocked looks of his team, "We need to find a way out…I…I can't…" he sank back down in the chair.
"Callen, why so much?" Hetty asked.
"It helps." He sighed. Hetty waved the others away as Callen sat in his favorite chair.
Sam stayed behind and waited, "It will be alright Mr. Hanna, I will look after Mr. Callen. Would you go and get the others settled for the night, and see if you can get Mr. Beale to explain what he was up to in OPS before this incident occurred." She ordered.
Sam nodded and left following after Kensi who was pushing Deeks down the hall, "But did you see that room!" Deeks said, "How come we don't have a room like that. I could use a room like that…." Deeks turned to Kensi with a cheeky grin, "We could use a room like that, little candles, some romantic music…." He yelped as Kensi punched him in the arm.
Hetty walked over to Callen, "They are gone, talk to me moy syn." She asked quietly.
"I…I'm still a good agent…" Callen said softly, "Am I still a good agent?" he asked.
Hetty pulled her chair up next to him, "You are still my team leader and in my opinion, a good agent; are you questioning yourself?" she asked.
"I…I've had a few…panic attacks, I had them as a child. I remember the doctor telling one of my foster parents I would grow out of them. I did. But…recently…I failed them, they were hurt, Sam and Deeks…I am their team leader, I should have protected them. I keep dreaming about them being hurt and I couldn't protect it."
"It?" Hetty asked.
"The team, the group…my…my family…I keep making mistakes, people keep getting hurt, I don't know what to do momma." He bent his head down as Hetty pulled him into her arms.
"Use this time, moy syn. Reconnect with your team…let them in, you never know it could be good for you." She advised.
He sighed and sat back, "I could use a cup of tea,"
Hetty smiled, "Me too."
Deeks slumped back in his chair and looked at the sleeping bag Kensi had deposited on his desk.
"Awww…Kens, do we really have to sleep in these things, can't we all bunk down in Callen's room?" he asked.
Sam shook his head as he walked in, "Nope that's Callen's space and he's allocated it to Hetty." He grabbed a sleeping bag and rolled it out.
"Why don't we have a room like that?" Deeks asked, "I mean, we all work late and could use somewhere to crash…How come Callen gets it?"
Sam looked at him, "Deeks…" he said, he wanted to growl at him and tell him to back off, but things had changed between them and he knew that Deeks came onto the team after Callen had brought his house.
"Deeks, for years Callen worked here but was homeless, he lived out of his bag and in motels, and it wasn't until just around the time you joined the team that Callen got his first house, he would sleep here a lot, mostly on the couch. However it wasn't good for his work, he would be tired and his work would suffer so Hetty must have insisted he had a room here, somewhere safe, I don't know the exact reason but I think that's it." He said.
"That's not it." Callen said, he walked in as if nothing had happened, pulling out his bedroll and laying it behind his desk.
Deeks sat on his desk as the others moved around.
"Ooh…Story!" Eric said.
Callen laughed as they sat on the edges of their desks.
"As you know I've never really had a home." Callen told them and they nodded. "Well when I came here and joined this team, I found I wanted to stay, I didn't have anywhere to live and would move from motel to motel, I crashed on the couch in the bullpen sometimes, but I still didn't have anywhere to call my home, I didn't have possessions apart from what I could carry. Then one day Hetty showed me the spare Janitor's closet." Callen looked up with a smile as Hetty walked in.
"And you made yourself a room there?" Kensi asked.
"No, I made myself a home there. Something that for once was mine and permanent, that was always going to be there for as long as I was a part of the team." Callen said.
Nell smiled at him, encouraging him to go on.
"I found here something I didn't think I would ever have, a family." Callen said moving his hand to rest on Nell's shoulder.
"Aww." Eric said, "That's sweet Callen."
Callen glared at him, "Sweet?"
"Er. Nice?" he corrected.
Callen smirked, "Yeah, Anyway it's warmer in there than out here, so Hetty and the girls can take my room," he turned to Nell, "You still know where everything is?" he asked.
Nell nodded, "Yes thanks, if you haven't moved anything." She said grabbing her sleeping bag. She saw the pink cardigan Callen had given her earlier and picked it up. "Hetty, G found your cardigan earlier," she handed it to the older woman.
"Ah thank you, I left it in your room the other night." Hetty admitted.
Callen smiled, "That's ok."
"So how do you know about the room?" Sam asked Nell.
Nell smiled, "I've been helping Callen." She replied.
He smiled saying nothing, as the girls gathered their things and walked off to Callen's room to settle down for the night.
Eric looked longingly up at ops as the boy's rolled out their bags from behind their desks.
Callen grinned, "Come on Zombie boy, you can roll yours out next to mine behind Kensi's desk."
Eric paled at the nickname, "Er…Ok…"
Sam put the battery lights on the desks, "Goodnight," He called.
"Night." Deeks' voice came from behind his desk.
Callen and Eric called Goodnight as well.
Soon there were the faint sounds of Deeks snoring and Sam's soft but even breathing.
Callen as usual was staring at the ceiling unable to sleep.
"Eric…What were you and Nell doing in Ops before the lockdown?" he asked quietly.
"Err….working?" Eric turned and looked at Callen.
"With a blanket?" Callen smirked at his friend.
"Like you've not wanted to work on a blanket." Eric grinned.
"E?" Callen lay back on his bedroll trying not to laugh.
Eric and Callen had a close friendship; they had had one for years, ever since Eric's parents had fostered Callen for a two week stint when Eric was six. It was a fact they kept to themselves, even though he was sure Hetty knew.
"X-box." Eric admitted. "Left for dead 2"
"Again…you know that gives Nell nightmares, you will never get her to play it." Callen laughed his voice soft and low.
"I got you to play it." He said, sounding affronted.
"You got me to play golf remember," Callen laughed.
"Yeah and you hit mom on the head with the ball." Eric reminded him.
"Why do you think I don't play anymore?" Callen sobered a bit.
"G…you are not dangerous." Eric chided him.
"I am no more dangerous than you are with that….Eric, did you hook it up online?" he asked a thought coming to him.
Eric sat up and hugged his knees, "Er. Yeah"
Callen lay back "Jeez Eric! Hetty is going to rip you a new one." He lay back chuckling softly.
Eric was so dead in the morning.