"No."

"Come on, man." Clint Barton propped his feet up on the railing of the balcony, tilting precariously back on the rickety chair as he talked to his companion through the open window. "It's just for a couple of hours, and it would get Tash off my back besides. She's gone all weird lately; she's got this idea that certain of her friends aren't really happy, generally or romantically speaking, and is gone on her version of bender to fix things there."

"I appreciate her concern, I really do, but I'm fairly sure that Agent Romanoff's version of happy would scare me, Clint. And traumatize me, at least a little, in the long run, and I don't especially enjoy the state."

"Her normal version of happy, maybe, but like I said, she's gone weird with it. I've no idea what's up there, but in the meantime… She's traumatizing me, and she's as good at it as she is at everything else besides being even moderately sane when she gets fixated on something.'

"Yes, well. While I appreciate her concern for my happiness," Steve Rogers said again as examined the glossy pages of instructions before him, selected a single square brick of dark grey plastic, and placed it carefully on the half-finished Death Star on the coffee table before him. "And yours for your own… I repeat. No. And before you ask me what the big deal is – again – there is no big deal. I just don't want to go."

"You never want to go anywhere," Bruce Banner said from the kitchen. The whir of the blender sounded, and in a moment he appeared in the frame of the window, sipping at something, unsurprisingly, green. "It wouldn't kill you to get out of the house now and again, Steve. And it's not a date. She doesn't do dates any more than you do. I'm not even sure she knows what they are."

"I know what they are. And know what you're all trying to do, and as I told you, I'm not ready."

"You are looking at this all wrong, Friend Steve," Thor said earnestly from the rickety chair opposite Barton's. Between the two, Tony Stark perched on the railing, clad in jeans and t-shirt and gold wrist bands as he flipped through Captain America's latest copy of 'LegoWorld'. "The woman in question is not looking for a relationship, she is looking for a…"

"Careful there," Stark said. "It's a long way down, and Birdbrain here hasn't been on a proper mission in two weeks. He might not be able to resist the temptation." He flipped a page. "I wouldn't. Hey look, Legolas! They have Tash in here this month, and her boobs are detachable!"

"So are your testicles. Would you like me to demonstrate?'

"Friend," Thor overrode them loudly, before they could get into it. "You are not adverse to the idea of those, are you?'

"The word 'friend'," Steve said. "Does not mean what it used to, your Highness. Nice try."

"It does where I come from."

"It does in your head," Steve corrected. "Some things are universal, no matter the universe you live in, or the times, and when a man invites a feminine body for dinner, the accompanying feminine mind does not generally linger on the 'f' word.'

"I think that you underestimating the species in general," Thor said. "Bodies, minds and all. And you may close your mouth, Man of Iron, before it catches my hammer. One need not be a god to anticipate what you are about to say, and it will not help our cause."

Tony sighed.

"I'm bored," he said. "Why am I bored again? Oh yes, because this is boring. You're boring, Rogers, did anyone ever tell you that?"

"And you're a…."

Banner cleared his throat.

"Not that I disagree with you, you understand," he said. "But you'd regret it in the morning. Among other things, if I have to put up with one more night of you holing yourself up here between your own missions. Don't take this the wrong way, man, but it kind of cramps my style."

"Huh?'

"You have style?' Stark said. "When did that happen?'

"Right around the time he told Agent Hill that she'd inspired him to work on a self-heating coffee cup," Barton said. "It went over a lot better than the roses."

'Here?" Steve sounded absolutely horrified. "You… Her… Here? Doesn't she have her own apartment?' He paused. "Self-heating coffee cups? Really? Can you make me one?'

"Only if you let Thor make the phone call."

"Bruce…"

"You need friends," Bruce said firmly. "More friends. You need a life, Steve, and sitting here assembling the Death Star is not doing the-kind-of-doctor-that-I'm-not in me any kind of favours, never mind the Other Guy."

"I thought he liked me!"

"He does. He also likes the idea of me making friends, and Agent Hill might have her own apartment, but it has far too many neighbors."

"Your apartment has me!"

"Not if you go out, it won't." He perched on a kitchen stool, bare feet tucked under him. "Come on, man. You may have missed your last date, but I literally got muscled out of mine."

"Do you really like her?' Barton asked, looking over. "Hill, I mean. Really?"

'I don't know yet," Banner said. "But the Other Guy does. He appreciates her sense of humor anyway."

"Maria Hill has a sense of humor?' Ever other man in the room, and on the balcony, looked blank.

"As much of one as he does, anyway. The shredded roses might have hurt my feelings, but they made him laugh."

"The last time I saw him laugh, Friend Bruce, he was taking a bite out of the Chitauri dragon ship.'

"And he last time he actually laughed was when he caught her slapping the shit out of Fury the day after Coulson officially came back from the dead. Knocked the eyepatch right off of him, and I hear his screw-of-the-week actually filed a formal complaint over what she did to the rest of him."

"It was worth every second of agony and mental hell," the not-dead man in questioned said with a most unaccustomed grin as he returned from the washroom. "She had him laid out and whimpering like a baby."

"That was Hill?' Barton said incredulously, actually sitting up. "Are you serious? He told Tash that that Fallon Ichloss crunched his numbers while they were sparring!"

"Who?'

"Fallon Ichloss. Head of Accounting over the base. He used to be the hand-to-hand trainer for SHIELD's Assassins' Training Corps till… Well. It's a long story, but suffice it to say that he a) switched departments, and b) still keeps up with his sparring schedule."

"Fury has a screw-of-the-week?' Steve said dubiously. "Really? Who in their right mind would sleep with him?"

"Nobody," Stark said. "But then, SHIELD isn't known for attracting people in their right minds."

"Shove him off the balcony, someone," Bruce said. "Please? He isn't big enough to fit out there, and there's that perfectly good Death Star besides."

"As you wish, oh vermilion one ," Thor said, and raised his arm. There was a massive thud, a flurry of suddenly iron-clad limbs, and an indignant squawk. Steve Rogers rose fluidly to his feet and ventured onto the balcony, leaning,over, arms braced on the railing as he looked down.

"I don't think that will ever get old," he said. "No matter how old I get. And with only five floors, he's not got enough time to turn around before he hit the dumpster. Oop. There it is. Caught on the rebound off the awning. Okay, that was worth it. You're on, Thor. Two hours, no more, and you'd better not feed her expectations, because I'm not doing anything but feeding her. And you and Agent Hill better stay out of my room while I'm gone," he added to Banner, glaring. "You have diplomatic immunity in your own, but if you step foot past the shield on my door, your – and his – ass will be very short and clipped green grass, understand?'

"It was a coffee mug, not an invitation to fluff my, or your, pillows, Steve. She's coming over to test it out, and to see if I can get through 'Sense and Sensibility' without losing it. She says if I can manage that, she'll allow me to send her roses again, and will stick to simple decontamination this time."

"You're crazy," Stark reappeared, tossing a banana peel aside and brushing off the vague remnants of kitty litter. 'She'll kill you with it."

"No she won't," Coulson said. "She not only likes him, but Agent Romanoff told her that Fury plans to forbid him to see you besides, if you manage to get through the movie, that is."

"She did?'

"It was my idea. Eleven weeks, and he didn't even offer me a real trip to Tahiti to make up for it!"

There was a considering pause all around.

"I don't suppose," Barton said. "That you told him – Fury, that is – that you thought the match inadvisable? We all know how he values your opinion.'

"I would never presume to venture an opinion there," Coulson said primly. "Such manner of things lie completely outside my professional jurisdiction, and Doctor Banner is a civilian besides."

'I like you, Coulson," Stark said. "You need to stop staring at Pepper's ass, but I like you.'

"I'm so pleased," was all Coulson said. Steve, returned to the coffee table, placed a series of dark blue triangular bricks meticulously.