**Author's note**
Ayy guys, sorry about that first chapter. Bit of a clickbait, lol. Anyway, now I've got your attention, I will now be writing a love story, exploring every area of the magical emotion. There will be sadness, tragedy and anger. It will be my magnum opus.
Naaaa, I'm just kidding, here's a penguin:
''mee-'' the crashing noise of a frying pan against a beak interrupted turdface's greeting.
''SHUT UP''
''meep :(''
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
one day Dankpaw was walking about, as you do, when suddenly a whole microwaveclan patrol leapt out of the bushes screaming
''ATAK''.
''NYEEEEEH''
''lul''
''why r u microwave fetishists here?'' meowed dankpaw
''we want our fridge back :(''
the fridge in question was a smeg, bright green. gnomechildclan
stole it from microwaveclan in a great war, many moons ago. it was microwaveclans oldest treasure, from back in the ancient days, when they were fridge fetishists.
''ehh fuck yu its our fridge now.''
''VIOLENCE IS THE ONLY ANSWER! ATAK''
''ehh screw yu guys gtfo''
''OR WHAT''
''uh... ill have get back to you on that''
''sorry guys, the steaks are too high. WE'LL GET OUR LOVELY FRIDGE BACK ONE DAY, JUST YOU WAIT.''
''we'll c. now get off my territory before i do... um.. something''
''RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!''
the microwaveclan patrol ran off. dankpaw sighed with satisfaction, and continued walking about.
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
litpaw was bored. very bored. life was so boring in gnomechildclan. there was the smeg fridge to [CENSORED, FOR THE CHILDREN. I DON'T WANNA GET SUED], but that was for the kits, really. he sighed. how about going to see how senpaiface was doing?
''YO SENPAIFACE''
litpaw stuck his hideous face into the den.
''AYLO''
''HI THER- OMG IT'S HIDEOUS OAERIHGAEPORRIDGERGIRAEIGHOOGIHAR''
senpaiface flopped to the floor, his body twitching in a twisted, unnatural fashion.
''FIIIINE ILL LEEEEAVE'' sighed litpaw irritably.
''EVERYONE'S SO RUDE THESE DAYS''
420weed padded up behind him
''well hello u wanna do fighing practice?''
''yeh ok''
he and 420weed waffled over the training clearing.
''okay yu now attack me''
the twin barrels of a sawn-off shotgun were promptly pointed at his face.
''nonono not like that you has to atik me wiv ur paws and teeth and shit.''
litpaw bitch-slapped him, and then kicked his face.
''ow''
''is dat right''
''i guess. now ima show u a really advanced move''
420weed picked up a unicycle, and whacked litpaw's face with it.
''OMFG HOW YU DO DAT SAUCERY'' litpaw yowled in amazment, his cross-eyed face gurning with concussedness.
''like dis''
420weed whacked litpaw with the unicycle again.
''UTHGAGAGAGBNTHPORRIDGESPLLLPLPLPTH'' rasped litpaw, now on the ground in a pool of blood.
''shall we call it a day?''
''ATHGGGDFTHPSPSPSPQUAKERSGOATSGHTPSPSPSP''
''i thought so.''
and then 420weed grabbed litpaws paw and dragged him along, leaving a trail of blood and brain matter.
the end. (for now)
PLS GIMME REVIEWS. EVEN ''ew fetishes are weird r3poting'' COUNT. PLEASE, IM LONELY