"You can't move in with me. I mean, you're a doctor. Surely you can afford your own place." Brad stared at Britt as she dragged her bags into his apartment. "I mean, this is a studio. You aren't on the lease and there's only one bed!"
"And when you steal an embryo from the son of a mob boss, it reduces your chances of finding a place to stay. Nik threw me out, and I can't even get a room at the Metrocourt because the owners are Dante's mother and Lulu's cousin! Or something. Not to mention my son is in foster care until the courts determine who gets custody. Foster care. Ugh. Some strangers are collecting a check and my son is probably in a planter or something."
"Well, if you're going to force your way into my home, at least you aren't bringing a kid with you. I hate kids." Brad didn't offer to help Britt.
Britt threw her stuff onto Brad's floor then looked at his bed. "Is this thing clean, or is it covered in crusty reminders of one night stands long gone?"
"It's clean." Brad slammed his door and Britt threw herself onto his bed. He really didn't know why Britt came to him for help. It wasn't like she'd actually done anything to help him. Sure, she got him a promotion, but he'd done a hell of a lot more for her than she had for him. "You still haven't told me why I should let you stay here."
Sitting up, Britt ran one hand through her hair and picked crud from the corners of her eyes with the other. She tilted her head as if in thought. Then she fell back onto the bed and looked at the ceiling. Brad heard her sigh before she spoke.
"Listen, Brad, neither one of us has any actual friends here. It's not your fault I'm a callous and vindictive bitch, and it's not my fault that you're a skeevy and lecherous douche. But right now we're all we have." She rolled onto her side and looked at him. "Felix is probably back to living full time in Sabrina's chola snatch, and Nik was the only person who actually liked me. Face it, we started from the bottom and we stayed there."
"Please, do not ever reference a Drake song when talking about my life. I am neither a light skinned black man nor a white woman." Brad leaned back against the door and ignored the buzzing in his pocket. If it was important, whoever it was calling would leave a voice mail. "Fine, you can stay. But you're sleeping on the sofa. And whenever I have guys over you need to make yourself scarce. And it's only until you can find someplace else to live. I'm sure your mutter would let you stay with her or something."
Insulted, Britt chucked a pillow at Brad. "I would sooner be homeless before I'd voluntarily live with my mother again!"
"Keep throwing stuff at me, and that can be arranged."
GH
"Why do you keep calling me?" Brad was annoyed. "I thought we agreed that there would be no more calls, no more texts, no more following me around town like a white girl looking for a GBF."
"We also agreed on no more one night stands, but then you called me." Lucas almost had a point, but Brad didn't want to give him any credit. "And your other guy, Felix? He asked me out. You wanna talk about awkward? That's what I was calling to tell you."
"Felix asked you out?" Brad looked at the door to his bathroom, where Britt was singing a very off key version of Dog and Butterfly while taking a shower. He remembered Felix seeing a picture of Lucas on his phone, but for him to actually ask Lucas out was weird. Almost as weird as Lucas.
There was chuckling on the other end of the line. "Yeah. Why wouldn't he? I''m a catch. Handsome, well off, interesting personality..."
"Humble," Brad interjected with a laugh. "So, are you gonna go out with him?"
"Only if you won't go with me." Lucas was smooth. Brad couldn't deny that. And there weren't that many other men beating down his down, even if Lucas was using a chainsaw to do it.
"Fine, you win. One date. One actual date, on the town and everything. I'll let you make the plans." Even though he was apprehensive about it, Brad was also relieved. He wished he could have worked things out with Felix, but it was obviously time to let go of that dream. Maybe Lucas would be good for him.
"Great! My cousin Michael is the manager of this really nice Italian restaurant and..."
"...and I hate Italian. Sorry." Brad rubbed the back of his neck as he lied, glaring at his bathroom door as though he could somehow blame his new roommate for what happened earlier that week. Michael was Lucas' cousin, which meant that sooner or later he'd have to deal with it. He happily opted for later. "Just text me the when and the where."
"Okay?" Lucas sounded unsure. "Is there something wrong? You just totally changed."
"Roommate problems." Brad sighed and rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand. "I'll explain it later. Bye."
He didn't even wait for Lucas to reply before hanging up. Britt came out of the bathroom shortly after, drying her hair with a towel.
"Is that my robe?" he whined when he saw the familiar terrycloth article she was wearing.
"Oh, shut up. I have my bra and panties on underneath it so I don't get my nasty girl cooties all over it," she snarked in reply. Britt pulled a brush out of the pocket of the robe and sat on the edge of his bed. "Who was that on the phone?"
"Do you care?"
Britt grinned. "It was that Lucas guy, wasn't it? Sooner or later I'm gonna meet him."
"I'll tell him you call you 'The Britch'." Brad laughed from his computer chair. "But yeah, it was Lucas. Since things are pretty much done with Felix thanks you, too, I'm going on a date."
"Good. At least one of us has something resembling a personal life. And Felix wasn't my fault. You impregnated me willingly, you little cunt." Britt ran the brush through her wet hair and sighed. "I hate that you don't have a hair dryer. You are such a useless gay."
"That's offensive," Brad pointed out as he waved his finger in her face.
Rolling her eyes, Britt laughed again. "I'm offensive? Last night, you told me that my queefs sound like a Katy Perry song. And you tried to blackmail a sexually confused twink into sleeping with you. I'm a fucking angel in comparison."
GH
As much as he wanted to pretend otherwise, Brad was not impressed with the choice in dining locales that Lucas had made. "It's a bar. A straight bar."
"It's the same bar where you and I first met. I thought it would be an appropriate choice for a first date." Lucas took off his coat, then offered to take Brad's. Shrugging, he handed it over. "Honestly, it was either or Kelly's. The only other place in town is a Chinese restaurant and, well..."
"I'll have to show you around the Asian Quarter sometime. Those hipsters may be annoying, but since they gentrified the place, the food is a lot better," Brad suggested as they took their seats.
Shortly after, a waitress with teased hair and a short skirt took their orders. As she walked away, Brad looked past her to the bartender.
"Okay, the hot daddy is working tonight. I'll forgive you." Brad looked back to Lucas, who was grinning. "What?"
"We are not having a threesome with Mac Scorpio. I was friends with his sorta daughter in high school. It'd be weird." Lucas laughed heartily at Brad's face.
"Do I even wanna know what a 'sorta daughter' is?"
Lucas shook his head. "It's a long story, but not very interesting. Unlike you."
"Are you calling me long or interesting?" Brad was smiling despite himself. Lucas was as charming as he was hot. Why had he waited so long to finally take Lucas up on his many, many offers?
"A little of column B, a whole lot of column A." When his date grinned lewdly, Brad snorted. It was obvious that their first date was gonna end up in the same place they always did. "So, you work at GH as a lab tech? What's that like?"
"It used to be great. Now it's kinda hell. We have a new Chief of Staff who thinks Malaysian sweatshops are ideal working conditions. And my roommate kinda... Well, never mind." Brad scratched the back of his neck and silently cursed himself. Lucas was Carly's brother, which meant he was Lulu's cousin. That meant that Ben was an issue. All he had wanted was a quiet evening.
"Britt Westbourne, right? She's your roommate. Trust me when I tell you that she won't be an issue." Lucas thanked the waitress for the breadsticks she brought them, then looked back to Brad. "Britt isn't an issue; Felix isn't an issue; tonight is all about you and me."
All Brad could do was stare at Lucas. There was no way he knew Brad and Britt were, well, something like friends and didn't care. It was impossible. Britt was literally the most despised person in town, and there were mobsters and old men who killed their grandchildren running around. The competition was fierce. When it became wider known that he'd taken her in...
"Wait, how did you know Britt was my roommate? I never told you that. I haven't told anyone that." Again, Brad was back to finding Lucas a bit odd. Even if he was the perfect man on paper, there was something about him that Brad just couldn't pin down.
"I saw her on the camera I installed in your room," Lucas snorted. When he saw that Brad didn't find it funny, he straightened his shoulders and offered a much less creepy explanation. "You never talked about a roommate until this week, and Lulu told me that her brother Nikolas threw her out. It's not a difficult line of logic."
"Yes, well, okay then. That's makes sense." Not sure of what else to do, Brad grabbed a breadstick and tore it in half. "They say you shouldn't eat these things. It's all empty calories and whatnot. I dunno."
"We can always work them off later," Lucas winked. For a moment, Brad almost bought into it. He almost bought that Lucas was flirting with him like it was just a normal date. Then Lucas said something to ruin it all. "Oh! Hey, Michael. Brad, this is my nephew. Michael, this is Brad Cooper."
"Oh shit." Brad sank down into his chair and tried to hide his face with half a breadstick.
"Lucas?" Michael approached the table, his voice full of disgust.
"Uncle Lucas, young man. You show your elders some respect." Lucas didn't seem to pick up that Brad was attempting and failing to hide. "And say hi to Brad. You're being rude."
"I'm being rude?" Michael yelled at the top of his voice, drawing the attention of everyone in the bar. "Your date tried to blackmail me into having sex with him!"
Then Michael fell silent when he realized that everyone had heard him. Brad looked and saw that even Mac Scorpio had stopped wiping out the beer mugs. Brad looked anywhere he could that wasn't Lucas or Michael.
"And you turned him down?" Lucas didn't sound amused. Brad slowly turned his head to look at Lucas, but saw that his date was staring at his nephew. "Well, all the better for me, then."
"Excuse me?" Michael was somewhere between whispering and yelling. He angrily looked at Brad, then turned his eyes back to Lucas. "Did you hear what I said?"
"Yeah. Brad tried. And failed. What's your point?" Lucas sounded irritated, but not not with Brad.
Lowering his breadstick, Brad tilted his head and let his mouth hang open. Was Lucas defending him? Even though all they knew about each other were bedroom positions?
"My point? My point is that the freak you're dating wanted to sleep with me, even after I told him I was straight."
Lucas laughed at Michael's outrage. "If I walked away from every guy that told me he was straight... Three beer queers exist, Michael. Now, I really must insist that you calm down or you'll have to leave."
"WHAT?!"
"That's it. Goodbye. I'll see you when you can learn to behave in public." Lucas flicked his wrist in the air, indicating that Michael should leave.
"This isn't over!" Michael yelled in Brad's face. Before Brad could reply, Lucas was out of his seat and had his nephew by his shirt. Lucas threw Michael onto their table. The breadsticks went flying and so did Lucas' fist. He'd already punched Michael three times before Brad pulled them apart.
"We're leaving," Brad told the bartender before throwing a fifty dollar bill on the table next to Michael. Then he turned his attention back to Lucas. "Go, now. I'll be just a second."
Lucas looked at Michael, eyes narrowed, and shook his hand. He pecked Brad on the cheek, and stormed out of the bar.
"Sorry about that." Brad offered a hand to Michael, but was pushed away.
"Don't talk to me. Don't look at me. And stay the hell away from my family." Michael thrust a finger in Brad's face and started to leave, but Mac Scorpio stopped him.
"I don't think it's a good idea to leave right now. Not while Lucas is outside waiting."
Taking the hint, Brad did his best to avoid Michael as he stepped out of the bar. Lucas was standing by a garbage can with his hands in the pockets of his jacket.
"What the hell was that?" Brad asked as he approached Lucas cautiously.
"I was defending your honour." Lucas reached out and caressed Brad's cheek. "Nobody talks about my man like that."
"What?"
Lucas grabbed Brad and pulled him closed, their bodies pressed against each other as Lucas kissed him. "God, but I love you."
"You what? What? Huh?"
Brad was confused by everything that had happened and everything that was happening. Kissing him again, Lucas pressed his hand to the small of Brad's back and dipped him.
"You really aren't bothered by what your cousin said?" Brad asked when they finally separated. He cast an eye to the bar and saw Michael standing at the window and fuming.
"Nephew," Lucas corrected. The hand on Brad's back slid under his shirt then down the back of his pants. "And I barely know him. I don't give a fuck about him."
"You know him better than you know me," Brad argued as he reached back and removed Lucas' hand from his backside. "Also, no overly PDA in public right after your nephew just outed me as a blackmailer."
"Attempted blackmailer," Lucas grinned as he pressed his head to Brad's and began swaying his body. "You never actually slept with Mikey. Me, on the other hand, you have slept with. Multiple times. And I want you to do it again. More than once."
"I have a roommate now," Brad tried pointing out. It was just supposed to be a date: a first date.
"I have a room at my mother's. She's spending the week with Carly, so we have the place to ourselves. And oh my god I just sounded like a 17-year-old asking his boyfriend to sneak over."
"As long as we don't listen to Sheryl Crow and watch Beverly Hills 90210 after."
"Just how old are you?" Lucas inquired as he kissed Brad's jawline.
"Oh, shut the fuck up."